


Three Folded Mirror

by Sum_Won



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drama & Romance, Fluff and Angst, Human Experimentation, Love Triangles, M/M, Pining, Post-Canon, Self-Acceptance, Self-Hatred, Self-Sacrifice, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 05:53:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 109,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4949122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sum_Won/pseuds/Sum_Won
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The year of war against the titans are over and things have generally settled down. A celebration ensues, but some people can't seem to handle themselves...</p><p>[Erwin - Eren- Levi] Leaning towards Levi-- and no, this is not a threesome. </p><p>AUTHOR NOTE: HEAVY TWISTING TURNS OF DRAMA & ANGST!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Mistake: A Single Slip

**Author's Note:**

> I was playing around with the settings to TFM and then I accidentally deleted it. I am so sorry to all of my fans and pre-readers.
> 
> I usually don't keep my drafts on my computer for long once it's been posted unless I'm really contemplating on proofreading it. However, luckily TFM was a fic that I posted on ff.net as well. Because of this, I will download my work from there and then re-post it back on here. 
> 
> At the moment, I am in the process of putting everything up again. While I'm at it, I'll be sure to re-proofread my writing. I apologize for my stupidity everyone... (Θ︹Θ)ს
> 
> ~Sum-Won~
> 
> EDIT: I just found out AO3 sends a copy of any of my fics that are deleted to the original writer! OMG! (Q//W//Q)

Everyone was far from joyous after war had rippled humanity. No one could say what it was that they felt. But for sure, everyone was bathing in a momentary relief. The Titans once feared were gone, many soldiers gone as well, and soon the walls would follow. As a great wave of tears blinded the citizens, having lived like birds in cages for centuries, no one could express their gratitude to all of those who had died in the horrific battle having ensued a month before. Now, everything had finally settled down. Yet even with only half of their luggage undone, the legion scouts unbuckled themselves from their usual strain and began a celebration like there was no tomorrow.

"And then it swung at me! I jumped up and shot out my gear just in time to swoop off its neck!" shouted one of the soldiers at the table with head shaved crisp and jubilant.

"Seriously though, you almost got our gears intertwined. If you hadn't been such an idiot…," trailed off another from across the bench.

His choppy light brown hair ruffled about as he frowned at the bald man. The two continued to exchange word until an elegant raven head approached them with two other individuals trailing behind. Seating themselves down, the new trio joined in on the conversation of the duo already seated at the table.

"Yo! Man! Where is everyone?" shouted the bald soldier.

"Shut it, Connie," growled the taller man that had been seated with him.

His ears would bleed soon enough from the way the wonderful Buddha boy sung like there was no tomorrow.

"Come on, Jean. It's finally over, right?" interjected one of the three that had just seated themselves.

Armin's large blue eyes and bobbed cut bangs gave off a gentle air into the conversation. However, Jean simply grunted in response. He looked up slowly at the female fighter who had seated herself next to the bob head. Her dark hair silhouetted her face just enough to create an air of mystery.

"I see that your hair grew longer, Mikasa," Jean complimented the soldier.

The woman turned around at the sound of his voice and smiled faintly, "Thanks."

But just as quickly as she had given him her attention, it swiftly went back to the darker brunet who was occupying the seat next to her.

"So…" Connie poked about his food tilting his head slightly as he continued, "What's up with Captain Levi? Did he patch things up? What's going to happen to you, Eren?"

The brunet looked away for a second before answering just as a certain southern girl joined the table, placing a plate of hot steaming potatoes and vegetables on the sturdy wooden surface.

"What's up?" the pony tailed girl grinned, her mouth stuffed with broccoli (most definitely stolen from the kitchen) as she seated herself.

Everyone knew that right after the battle, the Court had immediately summoned all of the titan shifters onto their ground and began determining just what they would do with their lovely war weaponry. Most of the towns folks wanted an end to the term "titan" all together, but little did they expect Levi and Erwin to state what they did on that day of judgment.

"I can't transform anymore."

Everyone's eyes grew big— especially Armin's and Mikasa's.

"What?!" shouted Jean, even he had been taken by surprise.

Although Eren and the tawny head had been on bad terms, the two's mutual hatred for each other had fueled a strong respect that no one could simply pluck at.

Eren looked at everyone with scrunched brows, "It's gone. All of it."

Mikasa spoke softly, "All of it? So… You can't…?"

The dark brunet nodded in response just to reassure his comrades, "I'm just a regular human being now. If I got injured, I'd die like everyone else."

Sasha spoke in between chewing, "What about Ymir, and the others though?"

"Same," Eren stated confidently.

Connie's brows scrunched together as he poked at Sasha's plate of food, "Nyeh… Why is that though? Did Hange do something to you guys?"

Eren frowned, "I highly doubt it, but Captain Levi and Commander Erwin were able to convince the court that we weren't a major threat. So... They let us go without any injuries. However…"

Mikasa nodded for him to go on.

"However, we're still on watch and I'll still need to be held in the dungeon for a while."

Mikasa and Armin stayed silent, their face unchanging. Both of them were unsatisfied with the court's final decision. However, they knew that it was useless to fight. Everyone at the table already understood. Without Levi and Erwin, the titan shifters would have most likely been dead or put into some sort of lab experiment for the sake of further study to preserve Humanity.

"Hey…" Armin suddenly spoke, "Shouldn't you go thank them?"

"Huh?" Eren responded, dumbfound.

Connie smirked, "Yeah! They risked their butts for you out there. You should at least give them something back in return."

Eren frowned, eyes brows knitting.

Hadn't he given back enough?

He had risked his life and all of his friends for the sake of "humanity" hadn't he?

But of course, when he thought back to it, his efforts had only been for one person.

He knew that no matter what, he could always justify that he had fought for Mikasa and Armin- which he had. But deep down, wasn't it Eren, alone, that wanted to be with them? For sure, the two reciprocated the same feelings. But if Eren hadn't dreamed of the outside world, he wouldn't have gotten as far as he did as well. Well… No matter what, Eren did feel a bit guilty about the way he had been so rash at times as well almost killing some of his comrades in battle. His hit and miss moments had been plentiful, and the two head masters had been there to see him through it all.

As time trailed by, the conversation was dropped due to other soldiers coming into the cafeteria. Sasha was already passing the drinks around. Getting a hold of a jug of beer, Eren remembered when he was fifteen. Everything had been basically "illegal" for him. Even so, he had already bypassed some of those "illegal" doings seeing as he had killed a man or two at a rather young age. Now he was twenty five and no one was going to stop him from having a little booze with his friends. Taking a sip Eren frowned slightly. The dark brunet didn't necessarily like the taste of beer, but it was nice to take a jug of it once in a while. Just like how coffee was sometimes preferred black.

Bringing his attention back to his friends, the green eyed ex-shifter made small talk with the other soldiers to bypass the time. As word and food continued to circulate around the table, Eren spotted Captain Levi and Commander Erwin sitting at another bench occupied with higher matters. Their faces were flawless as they went about conversing with the other soldiers stationed higher than Eren and his friends. Eren knew that his life hung on the two older men. They were what kept him alive and away from the court scoundrels that threatened to end him. Eren turned away from watching them and went back to joking about with his friends.

At some point, the group lost count of how long they had been at the table. Everyone was starting to get woozy from having too much to drink and eat. Eren knew he probably shouldn't have drank with Jean when the two started fighting and decided to go head to head in a drinking contest. Mikasa had warned Eren before she had left to tend to a scuffle outside of the cafeteria that she didn't want him bed ridden the following day. And although Armin had tried to reassure that he would watch out for his thick headed friend, Mikasa hadn't been convinced as she had left the room.

Connie, though short in stature, had somehow managed to survive through the entire drinking rally and eventually pulled Jean away from the table. The choppy haired man could barely stand as he teetered in the bald soldier's arms. At his limit, Sasha suggested that he be taken to his room to retire for the night. Connie agreed and the two left the place, abandoning Armin, Sasha, and Eren to clear up the messy table. Just as Armin was finishing up wiping away at the wooden planks, Eren wobbled over to him after putting away the dishes.

"Heeey… You going to take a shower later?"

Armin didn't look up just as he completed a final swipe on the table, "Yeah... But you can go ahead. I'm still thinking about checking up on the library- Hange was telling me about something earlier in the kitchen."

"Okay then," sang Eren, completely oblivious to the other diners.

He was slightly nauseous, but he knew he would be alright. Unlike Jean, he hadn't completely drunk to his limit yet— only enough to get a buzzing sensation.

Just as Eren passed the door frame into the hallway, he was reminded of Commander Erwin and Captain Levi. He was supposed to thank them. Checking the time, Eren saw that it wasn't actually as late as he had thought. Perhaps the two were still awake doing paper work or something. The dark brunet didn't want to see the Commander and Captain in the state he was in, but he also didn't want to return to his dinky dungeon so soon. Well… Either he took a shower now and flew straight to bed, seeing as the shower was right above his sleeping quarter, or he could go thank his higher ups before going to bathe and sleep. The option of bathing first wasn't possible. He seriously was too lazy to clean himself up, come back to thank the Commander and Captain, and then go to bed. And besides… It would be quite late by then anyway. Heaving a sigh, the twenty five year old male did his best to prolong his travel so that he could postpone his arrival to bed as he headed towards the Captain and Commander's quarters. Just as Eren took a step up the stairs which lead to Levi's office, Annie passed by at that same exact moment bumping into him.

"Hey Eren," she greeted with a curt nod.

Eren waved at her just as the blonde continued to speak, "Hange wanted to see you tomorrow at lunch time. Says she's got some plans for everyone."

Everyone— which meant the ex-titan shifters.

"Oh…," responded Eren.

The green eyed man knew that Hange had been in deep despair the moment she had discovered that the titan shifters were no longer able to change to man eating monsters. Hange must have most definitely plunged at the discovery and begun digging into reasons why.

"Training ground then?" Eren quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah," spoke the blonde.

"Okay, I'll be there then," Eren said reassuringly as he could; hopefully his speech wasn't slurring without his own noticing.

Annie smiled as a response— slightly leaning towards a smirk and continued to walk on pass, joining in with other soldiers of different ranking at the end of the hall.

Eren took his time walking up the creaking stairs that lead to the offices of the other captains. He passed by Captain Levi's room and knocked a few times. However, it seemed that either no one was in, or Levi was ignoring him. Eren looked down at the floor, eyeing the crack of the door to see if there was any light just to make sure that his keeper wasn't pulling his leg. Disappointed to see that there was no bright ray shining down onto the wooden planks, Eren moved on to Erwin's office. Incidentally, Erwin's office was separated rather far from the rest of the higher ranked soldier's rooms. Perhaps it was because Commander Erwin dealt with much more serious and complicated matters that required additional privacy.

Eren continued to climb the set of stairs until he finally made it to the top where his feet met the entrance to a short passage way. Heaving himself up, the dark brunet pulled himself together. He was going to thank Commander Erwin, and perhaps Captain Levi if he was also there, and then retire for the night. The green eyed soldier had gained his composure to some degree from the exercise up the stairs. Although still under a happy buzz, Eren hoped to himself that he didn't look like too much of an utter fool seeing as he had just left dinner. The brunet could see that the entrance to Erwin's office was open slightly ajar. If the two head masters weren't in there, someone had to be. Eren approached the door. Reaching out an arm, the man allowed for his knuckles to lightly knock on the mahogany surface of the office's entrance.

There was no answer.

Eren reached for the handle of the door and pushed it open.

Perhaps his knock hadn't been loud enough?

As Eren looked around, he could make out the shape of a rather large desk in the middle of the room. A small lamp, dimly lit, was placed at the right corner of the wooden structure. The yellow rays weakly uncovered the form of a twin sized bed at the junction of the chamber. Looking around, Eren took in the fact that the space was rather large— at least compared to the teeny lodgings that were given to the soldiers to sleep in. Realizing that he was gawking about in Erwin's office, he regained his self-control.

Erwin was in his office alright…

He had his head on his desk, shoulders slumped, and was most likely asleep. Well, Eren guessed he would have to wait till tomorrow then. The ex-shifter was about to turn around and exit when his foot stepped on one of the floor boards which gave a loud creak.

Erwin stirred.

"Oh," the Commander stated in surprise as he lifted his head up sluggishly, "I… expected you. Close the door and sit down."

_What?_

Eren slowly turned around like a criminal caught in a badly played out act. Erwin had expected him? The brunet didn't question the Commander though and did as he was told like any obedient soldier would. Pushing the door firmly shut, Eren took a few steps toward the older man.

"Sir, I—" but the ex-shifter was unable to finish his sentence as he realized just how pale the older man before him looked. Erwin's eyes were vacant, and his hands were nervously tapping at the corner of the desk in which he was seated.

"Um… Sir? Are you alright?" the brunet continued to inquire as he took a few more steps towards the blond veteran, "You look a bit… pale."

"Ah… Right," Erwin sighed heavily.

Suddenly the Commander stood up a bit too haste which made the legs of the wooden chair scrape the floor, discharging a rather unpleasant sound. Yet, when the older man finally stood up, Erwin walked rather slowly around the desk in order to meet with the younger subordinate. The Commander seemed rather aloof. As Eren watched Erwin's approach, the German male began to think of how to spell out his thank you to the older man. When the Commander was a good pace from where Eren stood, the brunet braced himself.

Eren gave a stern salute and spoke firmly, "I want to thank you and Captain Levi for all you both have done for me! I know I've caused a lot of trouble, but I'm very grateful to you both for keeping me alive up until now."

Erwin paused for a moment, lingering in front of Eren for a few seconds. Eren awaited for a response. Erwin smiled- Perhaps a smile that Eren had not been prepared for, because it was as if Erwin hadn't heard the ex-shifter's words at all.

Eren's form began to become small and he slightly slouched staring at the ground. Perhaps he had said something wrong? Or maybe Erwin didn't like being thanked so boldly?

The soldier's hands were clenched at his sides as he waited for the Commander to rebound his salute with words, but all he could hear was his own heartbeat drumming against his ears. Embarrassed and unable to stand the tension, Eren looked up just in time to see that Erwin was merely a finger's length away from him. The ex-shifter never realized how easily Erwin towered over the twenty five year old. Suddenly confronted, the brunet began to panic.

Taking a few steps back from the sudden closeness, the German male wavered, "C-commander Erwin?"

The brunet was completely clueless to why his Commander was being so unresponsive. Eren felt as if the older man was trying to trap him into a corner. Afraid that perhaps the court had finally asked Erwin to rid the world of ex-titan shifters, Eren began to fasten his backward pace. Why else would have the blond Commander expected him? Unfortunately for the soldier, he forgot that they were in a room and not situated in an open outside environment. Within a few steps, Eren caught himself stuck between a wall and the older man. Eren's veins were throbbing at his neck, and he was ready to take flight. However, somewhere in the back of his head a small voice reminded him that Erwin was "on his side" just as Captain Levi was…

Erwin came closer to Eren, but seemingly didn't pull out a knife or anything to the younger man's relief. Instead, both of Erwin's hands came to settle onto Eren's shoulder eventually trailing slowly down to the brunet's elbows. The intimate gesture made Eren flinch involuntarily. Perhaps Eren's words had touched the Commander's heart? However, Eren's thoughts were cut off when the older man's larger hands came down onto the brunet's wrist. Suddenly the ex-titan shifter felt smaller than a fly under the older man's gaze. Was this Erwin's way of thanking him? The endless questions bubbled out of the younger man's brain. Eren was so confused, and all he could do in order to hide it was stare down at his feet.

"C-commander?" Eren squeaked out as he continued to stare at the fact that Erwin's hands were still on both of his wrists.

Erwin didn't answer as his palms began to slowly tighten around the German male's hands now placed between them. Eren was afraid to break the silence but knew that the tension was growing far too strong. The stillness felt as if it had stretched out forever and would continue to do so. Suddenly the subordinate felt the release of his hands. Relieved that he was now free, the younger man looked up.

Thinking that perhaps the Commander was done with his weird act, Eren continued, "Sir, did you hear me earlier?"

However, he was cut short by the older man— who's face came crashing down onto his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 Preview:
> 
> The older man reeled himself back feeling a few loose buttons make it beneath his feet which were most likely from someone's uniform shirt.
> 
> Erwin's skin felt sticky and the air smelled of…
> 
> Of…?


	2. The First Mistake: A Morning too Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Since I'm updating this here again, I'll be sure to update ff.net's chapters as well. And please be aware that this chapter contains non-consensual content! You have been warned (via tag and here)!
> 
> Thank you for your patience everyone!
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

Throughout Eren's twenty five years of life, he had dedicated it to saving humanity. He had dedicated it to his friends, family, and comrades. He had given himself up to his training, to the pain of war, and the tears of loss. He had sacrificed every single moment he breathed so that the human race could be where they were now. But through the brunet's twenty five years, he had completely forgotten about the carnal desires in a human body.

Eren couldn't see straight with Erwin hovering over him. But when Erwin's lips had devoured his own, the subordinate realized from the stench of the Commander’s breath that Erwin was beyond drunk. The brunet had watched Levi and the older man take a few drinks down, but he had never thought that the Commander would go so far as to completely irrationalize his own senses. Perhaps Erwin was a light buzzer and a few jugs could steal his senses away? Although shameful and hard to admit, it didn't change the fact that the older man was as of now--

Assaulting him.

Eren tried to push Erwin away, but his defense was slightly weak from the stimulus the ex-titan shifter had drunk at dinnertime. The brunet's heart was beating a million per a second as his body was lost between the state of panicking and fighting. Both of Erwin's hands were on the subordinate's face, firmly holding Eren's jaw in place as he continued to press himself against the younger man. The ex-titan shifter had never felt so weak before and found himself losing to the Commander’s forced physical affection.

Eren attempted to put some distance between him and the older man so that he could at least call Erwin back to his senses. But the moment Eren found a chance to open his mouth to speak, Erwin stole his breath away with another kiss— this time utilizing the very entrance the younger man had meant to utilize in stopping the Commander. Erwin grazed the soldier's gum with his tongue and prodded the inexperienced man's mouth languidly. The twenty five year old had never been kissed so deeply before, and it left him blushing red all the way to his ears. He could barely catch his breath as Erwin continued to delve deeper into his aperture, the Commander’s hands now desperately pulling at the brown locks that encircled Eren's head.

The soldier was torn between hurting Erwin and simply letting the older man do what he wanted. However, Eren's pride was unyielding. He wasn't going to lower it for the veteran soldier above him. With the little strength Eren could gather, the green eyed soldier pulled a hesitant punch at Erwin. Unfortunately, the Commander’s body swayed to the side at that exact moment making Eren fall forward from the momentum. Coincidentally, Eren broke away from Erwin's heavy kiss.

But it cost him greatly.

Falling flat onto his stomach, the brunet tried to pull himself up from off the floor as quickly as possible from being defenseless. But just as fast as he attempted said action, Erwin came tumbling down right on top of him. Breathing harshly, the titan shifter tried to scramble out from beneath the Commander. However, the older blond’s hold on the soldier's waist was firm and fixated.

"C-commander! Please! Get ahold of yourself!" shouted the younger man as he struggled to escape.

Erwin didn't hear him. Either that, or Eren had been ignored. Instead, the older man continued to place kisses on the back of the ex-titan shifter's neck down to his shoulder blades. The blond man pulled down Eren's green button up shirt from behind exposing firm tan flesh. The brunet could hear the cloth on his shoulder being ripped away as buttons popped off from under his chest.

_Oh my god!_

He wasn't going to be able to escape at this rate. He had traveled what? Three flights of stairs? And walked down a passage way to get to Erwin's office… Even if the younger man screamed like a banshee, no one would be able to hear him; especially since the soldier's quarters were on the other side of the building. And with the majority of the soldiers drinking away in the kitchen, the ruckus would most likely mute out any sound that he made.

There was only one option-- Fight his way through.

Eren shoved his chest from off the ground and tried to pull himself up. Even with the Commander clinging onto him, the soldier did his best at making an attempt to lunge for the door. Bitterly the titan shifter only achieved to flip himself around onto his back as he flung about in the tight embrace of Erwin.

The German male came face to face with Erwin. Now getting a good look at the older man on top of him, he could see that the Commander’s shirt was wide open and slightly shifted to one shoulder from an attempt in taking it off. His shoulders curved well down with his biceps sloping into a charming arch. Even his chest was firmly built surprisingly, seeing as Eren had always thought Erwin’s body would be worn out from constant office work. Erwin almost looked handsome under the faint glow of the lantern with the way his hair was slightly a mess from their struggle. The Commander smiled teasingly, his face pallid. Erwin’s blue eyes did not waver even with them glazed over.

From all the years that he had served under Erwin, the brunet had never seen the older man let loose of his business etiquette. The Commander had always been so uptight and professional. It was hard to imagine that he could act any other way, but tonight the ex-titan shifter had caught a glimpse of Erwin's playful streak.

"S-sir! If you don't stop this I might have to kick you in the a-"

However, the concentration on Eren’s words were lost as Erwin ripped open his shirt from the front, breaking loose the last few buttons that held the cloth together at his waistline. With the German male’s stomach exposed to the stuffy air in the room, the blond breathed heavily as his tongue came down onto Eren's abdomen tasting every crease of the younger man’s skin. Eren gasped at the sudden action and tried to pull away, his face beet red.

"P-please… Commander!" Eren begged with all confidence in bringing the man back lost, "You're freak'n drunk! You seriously don't want this! It's just the booze getting to you!"

And not too long ago Mikasa had warned him about his own self.

Eren thought perhaps he had knocked some sense into the older man when Erwin paused for a second allowing for the two to catch their breath. However, the soldier realized that the older man was merely concentrating on his hands which were roaming down to the borderline of the ex-titan shifter's belt.

_Dear lord, I am literally screwed…_

Erwin didn't pull down the soldier's pants. Instead, he shoved his hand right under the rough material making direct contact with Eren's untouched member. The brunet writhed under him and tried to pull the Commander’s hand out of his khakis as his face turned to a tomato. Sadly, Eren heard his belt snap from their struggle which lead to his pants coming loose.

Distracted, the ex-shifter felt a sudden force flip him back onto his stomach bruising his knees slightly from impact against the hard flooring. Eren’s shirt was half off, barely hanging at his elbows, and his pants were dragging by the feet. This was the one time Eren wished that someone, anyone, would come in through the door and save his ass. He didn't care if his pride as a man was completely screwed to whatever audience this event would travel to. Because either way, if Erwin got his way, his pride would be cut short of life anyway.

Without warning, the Commander’s right hand firmly gripped onto the brunet's cock causing for Eren to tremble under the blond as the roughness of the contact slowly caused for his limp member to harden. The subordinate had been so busy with war and humanity that he had yet to venture down there himself.

Desperate more than ever, the brunet shoved himself up against the older man allowing for himself to come to a kneeling position. With palms flat on the flooring, Eren tried to bolt for the door. However his attempt turned into an awkward crawl with the way his pants were holding his ankles together. Erwin, still with a pretty good grip on the brunet, squeezed the soldier's throbbing penis in his.

"God… Darn it…," gasped the younger man.

The veteran soldier on top of Eren took this chance to tower over the brunet yet again and began to suck roughly at the ex-shifter's ear lobe from behind. Erwin’s left hand roamed up the younger man's abs towards his chest in a manner that was much too lewd for the soldier to describe. Eren could feel his breathing coming out harsher as the Commander began teasing the tip of his cock, pulling at the foreskin just enough to create goose bumps on the younger man’s body. The ex-shifter began shuddering under the blond as his pants turned to gasps.

Just when the brunet thought he was near his limit, Erwin pulled away from teasing the subordinate and began to pump at the soldier’s cock with the cradle of his hand, his own more experienced member tightening from the act. The ex-shifter shook violently under Erwin as his knees began to turn to limp noodles.

There was no way Eren could fight anymore.

As the older man propelled the brunet's hard and leaking member, his left hand that had been groping Eren's chest pulled back behind the younger man and came to pull down the twenty five year old's boxers exposing Eren’s round cheeks. Erwin’s fingers teased the opening of Eren's entrance, prodding about the flesh that had never been set loose. The younger man gasped at the sudden contact to his ass and flinched in hopes of escape as his member continued to pulse achingly. However, his efforts were futile seeing as he could no longer hold back the sheer lust that was emanating from his own body.

Erwin’s lips were situated right behind the younger man’s earlobe with face buried in the crook of the German male's neck. The brunet could feel his Commander’s hardness rubbing against his bottom cheek, and it didn't help it that Erwin was beginning to grind against him as well. With their positions, the brunet had first class seats to hearing his Commander moaning softly from behind.

Erwin's index finger slowly pushed into the soldier’s entrance, making the subordinate yelp. The ex-titan shifter had spoken with Armin about human reproduction and had learned well from Mikasa about the painful cycles of a woman's body. However, he had never set foot into the territory of men making love to men. This was an area that the red light district probably knew more about…

_Heck?! Could guys even reproduce by themselves?_

Eren was too frail to fight though. Both of them were drunk to some degree and now falling under a sensation of lust. Perhaps if Erwin wasn't under influence and was still doing the same thing, the brunet wouldn't have even been able to fight back as much as he had. The Commander nudged his index finger deeper into the brunet twisting his digit right into the walls of Eren’s sensitive anus. The ex-shifter winced. Though chemical signals were enhancing Eren’s hard member, the brunet still felt uncomfortable.

"C-commander… Please, d-don't…" Eren pleaded between pants, his eyes watering slightly from the sensation.

Although Eren was at his limit, Erwin's kisses didn't dissipate away as the soldier hoped. Instead with each minute, the Commander merely sucked harder on the younger man's flesh down Eren's jawline to his shoulder and back up again. His fingers drummed in a continuous loop inside the brunet faster and faster. The older man turned the ex-shifter around with ease so that his back was flat on the floor as he grinded against Eren feverishly.

Erwin wasn't looking at the brunet. Instead his eyes were closed with eyebrows scrunched in concentration of the absolute pleasure that was running through him from the act. It didn't matter though, because the younger man beneath him could barely see through the tears streaking down his own face. All Eren could do in order to make sure that he was aware of the fact that he was still in reality was cling onto the hopeless wooden planks that were barely tangible beneath them.

The room filled with the gasping of the two men as Erwin continued to pleasure the dubious brunet completely lost in ecstasy. The squelching echo of soaked skin running over and overlapping resounded and bounced against the wall as the two men’s leaking fluids dampened the chamber floor. As the seconds passed, Eren’s pants became desperate moans, pleads, incoherent sounds.

Unable to control himself, Eren let out a high pitched whistle from the back of his throat as his hip hung in midair. Without even knowing what was occurring, the brunet released all over himself and his Commander. Following not far behind, with each lust filled kiss in unison of his thrusts, suddenly Erwin came to an abrupt halt. The blond’s arms which had been holding the younger man down, instead, instantaneously cradled the soldier tightly. The blond’s lips quivered as his eye brows squeezed together trembling with his body. Eren felt the older man's temperature rise just slightly as a warm fluid suddenly dampened the surface of his posterior. The younger soldier had barely realized what had happened when Erwin crumpled down on top of him without warning, heartbeat deafening his ears. It seemed Erwin had released himself without any further intrusion into Eren's entrance. The soldier could barely call it relief when he let out a tired and trembling sigh.

Eren’s body quivered from the intensity of the Commander’s actions, his mind swimming with thoughts that were now weakly trying to light up the brunet’s limp body. The blond man's breathing eventually slowed down along with the brunet's own as Erwin's fingers slipped out from Eren’s entrance. Their forms heaved atop of each other slightly as they lay soaked in their own juices.

Eren tried to pull himself out from under Erwin with a feeble push, but found that he was too tired and weak. From the booze, to the work out up the stairs, and to reaching climax with Erwin, Eren couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. And within seconds, he too followed Erwin into a deep sleep.

Erwin awoke slowly, his senses groggy from the night before.

_What time is it?_

He had remembered that Levi had warned him not to take down too many shots with the other commanding officers before heading back to his office. Somehow he had managed to travel up the stairs with no help and make it back to his cold hard wooden desk. The blond man remembered shuffling through unfinished paperwork that Levi had handed him before his brain died out. Apparently, the bed felt quite warm and rather soft. He could hear another heartbeat next to his ears, surprisingly. Perhaps Hange had finally made a new invention where beds could stay warm even in the winter without having to be placed above a stove?

_But beds don't have heartbeats…_

_Heartbeats..._

_Heartbeat?_

Erwin's eyes shot open as he felt the lax flesh beneath him. He could hear another pair of lungs breathing softly in and out slowly as he pulled himself up. To his horror, he was laying on top of another individual…

Most likely a soldier of his from the tattered uniform!

And male too, seeing as the person was completely naked!

The Commander stood up abruptly making the man beneath him stir slightly. Erwin didn't have anything covering him from above the waist, and his pants were unzipped and wide open with his goods hanging loose. Quickly regaining his composure, the older man pulled his denims up and buckled his belt in place just as the younger soldier at his feet gave out a soft huff in exhale.

Eren's hair had turned to a mess and blocked his face from the Commander’s view. But as the German male slowly turned his head away from the floor and up towards the ceiling to get a better position for his head, Erwin realized who it was that had been lying beneath him completely exposed. The Commander stepped back slowly from the scene trying to make out what could have possibly occurred last night that could lead up to such an extraction.

Eren was a mess.

Clothes were scattered everywhere on the floor.

The older man reeled himself back feeling a few loose buttons make it beneath his feet which were most likely from someone's uniform shirt.

Erwin's skin felt sticky and the air smelled of…

Of…?

Erwin couldn't believe it himself.

All his life he had lived as a good straight up man who was modest with his business. The Commander had earned many's respect and admiration, and yet all of it had just been blown away to pieces from a single slip. The older man groaned as he seated himself on the edge of the twin bed that was located in the corner of the room, and to think that he and Eren had gone through the whole night without even using the bed.

_For heaven's sake, talk about not being resourceful…_

The Commander surveyed his office and saw that the only place that was in chaos was the center of the floor where the two had been laying. It seemed that he must had been so drunk he didn't even think to use the desk as a prop for the act.

There was only one thing left that Erwin had to know.

_Had Eren enjoyed whatever it was that had happened last night?_

_Enjoyed?_

Had the subordinate even wanted this?

The blond veteran couldn't imagine the younger soldier leading him on, and he most certainly could not see Eren stripping naked for him willingly either. Something was amiss, but Erwin had confidence in himself that he couldn't have assaulted the ex-titan shifter…

_Right?_

But as the older man looked around the room, the possibility became more and more plausible bringing dread and guilt to his heart. However, Erwin shoved back the horror that was creeping at his thoughts in order to progress in cleaning up the scene as much as possible for Eren’s sake.

As Erwin opened the window to clear out the smell and began collecting his subordinate’s clothes that had been strewn everywhere, Eren woke up. Pulling himself from the hard floor, the soldier gave out a painful groan. His head slightly ached, and his back hurt from scraping against the wooden planks of the office. Rubbing at his muddled face with both hands, Eren came to lay eyes on Erwin who was already fully dressed.

Then it hit him.

It hit him hard.

Eren's heartbeat quickened, and his face began to flush from the rushing memories of last nights' activities. Immediately pulling himself up, the soldier looked around for his belongings only to find that it had already been gathered into a neat pile on top of the Commander’s desk. Erwin watched the brunet panic about as Eren tried to put on his clothes in order to leave the room as fast as possible.

"Eren," the Commander spoke in a false calm.

The twenty five year old male froze at the sound of his name as he struggled to cover up his naked body.

Erwin continued, "I…"

It seemed they both were at lost for words, and only the silence could fill in for them. Erwin's hair was no longer split, freshly combed to the side neatly as once seen. His eyes were deeply heavy and his form hovered over his knees as he leaned on his elbows for support from sitting on the edge of the small twin sized bed. The Commander’s shirt ruffled from the light wind produced through the window. Of course, Eren couldn't see this though. He was looking down at the Commander’s desk which had "Erwin Smith" engraved into the name tag placed next to the dead lamp from last night.

Eren was afraid...

Unsure of what the older man would say next.

Heaving out a shaking sigh, Erwin placed his face in the slope of his palm and finished.

"Just...

What exactly did I do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 Preview:
> 
> "Levi."
> 
> The Captain answered with a curt "Hn?" as he continued to skim through the documents in his hand not looking up.
> 
> "What would you do if I committed a crime?" the blond questioned suddenly.


	3. The First Mistake: A Time Seen Distinctly Different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my new readers, here comes Levi! (=w=)
> 
> And for my old readers, I'm trying to at least post a re-proofreaded chapter a day. If I keep up with this schedule, Chapter 24 should be up around the start of November. So if you're not too big on rereading all the chapters, feel free to drop by again next month. (QwQ)
> 
> Also! If any of you spot any major grammatical errors in my writing, please tell me! I will do my best to fix it. On another note, I'd love to know how my new readers are feeling about this situation so far. XD" It's cliche to some degree, but hey! I hope my rendition of such cliches are interesting in their own way. 
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

With fast precision, hands moved quickly over the yellow stained papers stacked neatly on the smooth platform desk. Each page stirred with purpose and little effort as Humanity’s Strongest continued to skim through the heavy content on each document having been presented by the Court. The single window in the room was closed, save the laced curtains that silhouetted the sides of the thin glass panes, allowing only the faintest of sun light to pass through.

Levi had woken up earlier than usual, since he had made a rather premature exit from the loud celebration from yesterday night. With a huff, the French man placed his completed papers on top of one another and neatly arranged them on the corner of his desk. The man’s black hair, thoroughly combed to the very tips, ruffled slightly as he tilted his head to the side in order to rest his jaw in the cradle of one of his hands.

Yesterday, before leaving the messy scene that was soon to get messier, he had advised Erwin to not overdo his drinking seeing as half of the soldiers were probably going to be knocked out the next day with the way they were practically drowning in alcohol. However, the head soldier highly doubted that the blond Commander had heeded his warning since he still hadn’t heard from Erwin since he left the lunchroom yesterday evening.

Luckily, Levi had predicted beforehand that the celebration would be going well into the night, so the man had made sure to take a few sleeping pills before heading off to bed. The drugs worked well, and the French man knocked himself out even before Hange could pass through the corridors up to his office to bother him in her drunken stupor.

The man ran his fingers through his hair as he gave out a thoughtful sigh. His beady eyes surveyed the room briefly.

_What time was it?_

Plucking himself off from his desk, Levi made his way to the door as he took a swift glance at the clock that occupied the coffee table next to his mattress.

"One thirty, eh?" the man mused as he pulled the wooden frame open and made his exit.

The place was rather quieter than usual, which was most likely due to the fact that a number of soldiers were sleeping off their night's drinking rations. However, as the Captain continued striding down the hallway, he was surprised to see that a good handful of soldiers had taken upon themselves to still continue military exercises.

Levi paced out into the field and saw a circle of squad leaders directing their groups to the usual assigned tasks in training. Watching them, Levi felt a surge of pride. Even after the horrendous party from last night and the end of the titans, a good amount of soldiers were still keeping sharp by continuing to work towards building their skills and muscles. Satisfied, Levi turned around to head back towards the withered old building they called headquarters. But instead of the usual stoic exit, he ran right into a certain female eccentric.

"Oh my!” shouted Hange in between stumbles as she took a few steps back from the collision, “Morning Captain!"

Levi stabilized himself from the impact and looked up slightly annoyed by the fact that he hadn't noticed the female creeping behind him before.

The man gave out an irritated expression as he greeted the woman, "Good  _afternoon_ , Hange."

The eccentric grinned with eyes crinkling, "God, I didn't even realize that you were there until I turned the corner. Haven't seen you all day!"

Levi sighed with an expressionless face, "I saw you yesterday night. It's not like I'm going anywhere soon, seeing as the titans are extinct."

That's when the female soldier's eyes brightened ecstatically from the words that fell from the man's mouth, "Oh! LEVI! I just remembered!"

The Captain awaited Hange’s detailed epiphany without interest, "What?"

Suddenly springing from excitement to glum, the eccentric gave out a heaving sigh, "It's Eren… Have you seen him at all? I was looking for him until I ran into you.”

The French man's beady eyes steadied as he ran through his reel of memories from the day. He had passed by the infirmary earlier that morning when he awoke, but no one was in, most likely due to the fact that perhaps a number of soldiers had decided to save themselves the trouble of dragging their half dead body out of bed just to go get some old lady to confirm the fact that they had, indeed, drank way too much last night.

Moving on, the cafeteria had been a mess. However, it had been quiet save the few workers that were in the midst of cleaning up the rubbish the celebratory soldiers had created from yesterday. The Captain hadn't gone to Eren's dungeon yet, so that may have been a possibility to where the brunet could be.

_Eren is known for sleeping like a dead log._

The French man was about to answer the female scientist when his vision came into focus from the sound of light footsteps approaching them.

"Good after noon Captain Levi and Hange."

Levi didn’t even have to look up to confirm his thoughts. The two turned around to see Mikasa dressed from head to toe in her uniform as if at any moment a titan might attack. The woman's work ethic was truly acknowledgeable.

Levi's train of thought was cut short when Hange shouted, "Mikasa! Have you seen Eren by any chance?"

"No, I haven't," Mikasa answered calmly, "Is something wrong?"

Hange heaved with an eye roll, "Well--"

"Eren was supposed to meet up with four eyes, but he didn’t show up," the Captain intervened quickly.

If no one knew where Eren was, the head soldier would have to go look for him since he and Erwin, in specific, were responsible for the damn brat. Mikasa's eyebrows scrunched at the completion of the Captain’s words as expected.

Muttering under her breath about how she warned a certain idiot, Mikasa looked up, "Have you guys asked Armin about him? He might know where Eren is— Or have you checked his room?"

Hange bit her upper lip and frowned, "I did, but he wasn't there. The guards reported that they had just switched this morning, and Eren wasn't in when they changed shifts.

_Well that helps. So much for Eren sleeping in._

The Mikasa’s eyes began to harden, "When did they switch?"

"Seven," the Captain answered.

"Boy, do  _you_ know the schedule, Captain," Hange teased with a grin as she gave out a worried laugh over the matter of Eren.

_Of course I know the schedule…_

Levi sighed in irritation.

_I’m the one who makes it._

The French man concluded that most likely the brat was with his bob headed friend right now playing hooky, seeing as the two weren't spotted on the field. However, Mikasa’s reboot about Armin helping out with research material seemed to phase the possibility. The female warrior’s worried face didn't help the situation, and Hange merely scratched her head over the fact that the brunet had definitely known of his appointment with her and the other ex-titan shifters. That was… unless Annie was pulling the scientist’s leg? But the serious blonde rarely joked around, so it seemed unlikely.

Slightly annoyed by the fact that they were getting nowhere, with a quick turn from the two women, Levi frowned deeply as he began trudging away, "You guys continue on with whatever it was you two were doing. I’ll find Eren."

“Wait! I'll look for him as well, Captain,” interjected Mikasa as she attempted to catch up with the shorter soldier.

"No," Levi spoke sternly, "Keep doing what you're doing. Who else could have convinced half of the squad leaders to continue training even under the condition that there were no more titans?"

The female warrior’s feet stopped abruptly at the statement as she stared at Humanity’s Strongest, his back distancing from her with each step he took.

Had the Captain just complimented her?

"Oho!" Hange teased as she tried to hide the smirk blooming on her face with an obviously unconcealing hand, "Look who's learned to flirt now, eh?"

However the eccentric's statement was shoved aside with an annoyed grunt from the Captain.

"Well, if he says he'll do it then he _will_ do it," stated Hange, matter of factly, as she turned to the side to face Mikasa, "Don’t worry about this, hon’. He'll get things worked out!"

The Asian soldier nodded affirming that she understood. But even as the female warrior turned around and began pacing towards the open field of soldiers moving about, she couldn't help but let her face express the anxious feeling bottoming her stomach. Mikasa wasn’t worried about whether Levi would find Eren or not, because the raven head was sure that the head soldier would no doubt check every crook and cranny to make sure Eren was discovered. Instead, the female warrior was more stressed over just what the older man would do to her adopted brother once he found the brunet.

Levi paced through every hall of headquarters, all the while surveying every little click of troupes trudging passed him and beyond. The Captain explored the vast corridors of each hallway in quick procession. Running through a number of possible places the brunet could be, Levi spotted Armin in the library sorting out books with Connie and Sasha, Jean head to toe in dirty laundry in the washroom, and Historia—otherwise known as Christa, feeding the horses.

In the end, after poking his head into every little room there was to offer in the building, the French man ended up running right back into the very place he had started. The damn brat was giving Levi a work out with the way he was hiding so well. Annoyed by the fact that Eren was seriously nowhere to be found, the head soldier decided that it was time to head up to Commander Erwin's office to report the missing brat. Levi wasn't in any worried state necessarily, since the fool couldn't have possibly been kidnapped seeing as there was no one after _ex_ -shifters at the moment. However, the man was on edge that Eren had neglected his promised duties to the female scientist without letting anyone know.

Strutting passed his own office, the Captain headed towards the flight of stairs that lead to the Commander’s chamber. The French soldier made note that he would take care to shower later with the way this new found cardio work out was going. Progressing at a decent pace, the Captain reached the top of the steps and tread forward into the small hallway that lead to Erwin's office. With a huff, Humanity’s Strongest advanced down the small corridor.

Luckily, Levi had been smart enough to also bring the completed paperwork that he had finished this morning with him. This way, he wouldn't have to make a second trip later on. With eased pacing, the head soldier strode towards the entrance to the blond Commander’s office. Quickly turning to the side to rest the documents he was holding in his left arm, he reached out for the door handle.

Just as Levi’s fingertips came in contact with the knob, the metallic sphere flew from his hand and flung away from him. Shocked, the man’s quick reflexes made Levi step instinctively back as he was urged to look up. His ears caught the sound of a desperate baritone belonging to Erwin as the sound of heavy footsteps flew towards him. With a tilt of the head, Levi caught sight of Eren a mere two feet from him. The motion was in seconds, but the French soldier caught sight of Eren's posture, head bowed down with a fist clutching the side of his khakis. Eren’s other hand held onto the front of his button up polo. The younger soldier didn't even look up to acknowledge Levi’s presence as he pushed passed Humanity’s Strongest and dashed from the room through the hall, descending straight down the stairs without stop.

Levi stood there at the side as his former tired self fully awakened by the sudden appearance of the ex-titan shifter. However, the French man quickly recovered as he turned to face Erwin, who was neatly dressed with hair combed back like usual. Unexpectedly though, the blond’s usual poker face was creased with worry and was that…

_Confusion?_

Before Levi could interrogate the situation further though, Erwin regained the ability to use his tongue.

"Ah—Levi… I... That is…," the blond Commander started somewhat muddled.

Realizing how unconnected his sentence was, Erwin took a moment to pause and organize his thoughts. Levi stood there with a dead pan expression awaiting the older man to explain.

“It seems I have disappointed Eren greatly,” Erwin finally stated after a few moments of silence.

The answer wasn’t satisfying to say the least, but it seemed Erwin wasn’t going to continue. And so, the Captain surveyed the man's appearance and the room with his beady eyes in order to make the most of just what had exactly happened. Sweeping from corner to corner with his vision, all Levi could take note of was that Erwin’s office was tidy as usual: papers on the desk from work, window open for fresh air, bed neat— just how Levi liked his own.

Nothing seemed amiss.

Not letting the expression on his face change the slightest, Levi concluded that the two grown men had probably had some sort of argument.

_Strange... Eren and Erwin have never conflicted before. Perhaps it was just a rare occasion of sorts that was unexpected._

Levi didn't want to delve deeper into the possible topics that Erwin and Eren could have tugged at, seeing as it seemed the situation had nothing to do with anything pertaining to Levi himself.

_Well… It seems I’ve found Eren at least._

Levi would make sure to take care of that brat later though, since he still had business at hand. Not to mention, it seemed that the brunet needed some time to cool off at the moment. Without further ado, the French man acted as if he had entered the place and never even encountered with Eren.

"Here's the paperwork from the court. I've marked the places that require your signature. Have you looked over the reports I gave you last night?"

Erwin chuckled sadly, "No. I drank too much Levi. I should have listened to you."

The Captain let it slide. He had expected this. Everyone needed a break once in a while and Erwin definitely deserved it, seeing as what they had all gone through.

Stretching out the usual frown that he gave the blond when things didn’t go the way he supposedly planned, the Captain continued speaking, "Just make sure to get them in by the end of the month, or else Nile’s ass will be upon us."

Erwin gave a nod at the statement, not reacting to the statement about a certain goatee individual. Although he understood the kind gesture that Levi was making, the blond really hadn't meant to not look over the reports. However, he had been too drunk to even remember how he had managed to get up the stairs to his room.

Erwin took the papers from the Captain and walked towards his desk to put them into his already high stacked pile of signature-needed work load. Bending down to pull open the small drawer that occupied the desk's upper left corner, the blond pulled out some configurations of recent data pertaining to population growth that he had received earlier that week from the court. Erwin had postponed giving the charts and graphs to the French man, since he knew that the head soldier was already head deep in other responsibilities. But because Levi already had taken the time to complete and hand in the excessive papers from the court, the Commander felt that leaving the shorter man empty handed would be the same as ignoring Levi’s work ethic.

With the exchange of papers, the French soldier decided to make himself comfortable near the exit of the room as he leaned against the door frame in speculation of the information he had just been given. As Levi browsed the graphs and charts that Erwin had just handed him, all he seriously wanted to do was kick the Court’s heads in the ass for the excessive documents they had been sending the Scouting Legion since the final battle with the titans. The head soldier understood that it was necessary to check the population status since so many people had died. However, plotting the damn data on a graph and then asking for the Captain to analyze it _thoroughly_ and then report back to the court about his future predictions and findings from the charts was beyond aggravating.

As time passed by, the two older men occupied the room in silence with no conversation imposing. Each was engaged with their own business until Erwin suddenly broke the calm.

"Levi."

The Captain answered with a curt “Hn?” as he continued to skim through the documents in his hand, not looking up.

"What would you do if I committed a crime?" the blond questioned suddenly.

The inquiry made Levi quirk a brow as his beady eyes rolled up, glancing at Erwin through dark thin lashes, "Crime? I'm sure you and I have committed enough crimes in the past, Commander."

Erwin’s expression didn’t change as his eyes bore into the French man. However, the silence that ensued after Levi’s answer gave off an air of trouble, more so than what the shorter of the two had expected from the way Erwin had went about approaching the topic so openly. The Commander’s brows scrunched together as he let his attention drift back to the surface of his wooden desk. Levi wondered just what had crossed the older man's mind. The image of Eren dashing out of the room with no regards to Humanity’s Strongest replayed in the Captain’s thoughts.

_What’s the answer? Has the brat made another mistake?_

The French soldier could feel his curiosity peeking, but held it back.

If Erwin didn't want to open up about it, then Levi wouldn't pry.

_Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 Preview:
> 
> "E-Eren?" a worried expression crept onto the bob head's face.
> 
> "What is it, Armin?" Eren questioned slightly confused by the sudden change in the Armin’s tone from the happy greeting earlier.
> 
> "What in the world did you do to get…"


	4. The First Mistake: Scars of a Different Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woopty doo~~. And look at me, I'm already behind schedule. 9_9"
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

Armin strode down the hallway with a few books in the cradle of his arms. It was already four or so, and he had finally finished sorting out the historical selection in the library with Connie and Sasha. Unfortunately, the duo had left him for the kitchen in hopes of filling their stomachs. Leaving the blond with nothing to do, the soldier departed from the bookroom. Armin headed towards Hange's chamber to hand her new material he had found while scrimmaging through piles of unwanted documents. Armin turned the corner with a smile on his face just as he caught a certain brunet at the edge of his peripheral vision.

Cranking his head, the blue eyed soldier called out to the ex-titan shifter, "Hey Eren!"

The taller man nervously spun around to see who it was that had addressed him, "Oh… H-Hey Armin!"

The bob head swept over Eren’s profile from afar, not able to see the brunet completely vivid with the distance between them. As Armin approached the soldier, he began taking note of the crinkled baggy pants and v-neck sweater that Eren was wearing. Eren's hair was damp, most likely from a shower since he seemed to be out of his training gear. It was as if the brunet had been in a rush with the way he was teetering about so anxiously just from greeting his blond childhood friend.

The brunet pulled himself together, with a suck of air, and walked towards Armin, "What are you up to?"

The blond was about to carry on the conversation about Hange and the experiments they were planning to initiate in the near future when his steps suddenly came to a halt.

"E-Eren?" a worried expression crept onto the bob head's face.

"What is it, Armin?" Eren questioned, slightly confused by the sudden change in Armin’s tone from the happy greeting earlier.

"What in the world did you do to get…," Armin gasped, as his words trailed off with his blue eyes trembling anxiously.

The blond almost dropped his books as he ran towards his best friend. The brunet wondered if he had missed out on something when Armin approached him without warning and took a hold of one of his shoulders. The blond’s face was mere inches from Eren's collar bones.

"Your neck, Eren! It's like one of those blood sucking monsters from the books bit you to death! What in the world happened?"

"W-what? My neck?" stuttered Eren in confusion.

And then Eren flung back from Armin's touch in horror as the color drained from his face. The German male spun around in dread as he ran down the hall entering the first room that seemed unoccupied. The ex-shifter's eyes moved about erratically throughout the vacant quarter until he caught sight of a mirror at the side, hanging above a hollow vase of dried flowers. Eren impatiently stepped towards the glass frame in hopes that, perhaps, what Armin had caught a glimpse of was nothing but mere skin discoloration.

Oh, how wrong he was…

Hastily pulling the vase aside and onto the ground, the ex-shifter stared into the silver mirror in alarm. Eren’s heart became silent as his reflection came into full view… It almost looked like one of those horrible rashes that a number of soldier's got when they wore their straps for too long in the burning heat. With beaded sweat mixed in with the rubber lining clawing away at many recruit’s flesh, a handful of scouts tended to be left with scars from constant usage of the belts in battles and missions. However, the brunet knew. He knew that this one wasn't from one of their tiring missions.

It had been from last night.

_It was from Erwin._

Armin made it into the room just as Eren began to raise his hand up towards his collar bone to feel the tender flesh in disbelief, each finger gently smoothing over the trail of bruises that painted his once solid tan skin.

Eren remembered.

He remembered how he had dashed down the stairs from the Commander’s office. How he had flew straight to the nearest bathroom from his dungeon and scrubbed himself from head to toe. He had scoured at his skin as if he could possibly erase the sensation of Erwin's heated actions from the night away with mere water and soap. The German soldier had been so caught up in his emotions that he hadn’t even glanced at the mirror when he had left the water closet in search of clothes.

When Eren had made it to his dim chamber, he had taken no time in flinging on fresh new cotton over his body in haste. There had been no thought of how he looked like or what seemed to have been displayed on his face. Just that he wanted to erase it. He wanted it out of his mind.

He wanted it gone…

The sensation of the older man's lips roughly sucking at his flesh.

The feeling of his fingers pushing into him and clawing at his most sensitive parts.

"E-Eren? Are you alright?"

The brunet closed his eyes as he stood in front of the cold slate of glass that reflected himself vividly. Armin approached Eren from behind cautiously, not sure of what to make of the brunet’s reactions. Slowly the brunet's head tilted down. His still damp hair covered the side of his face. With heart rate rising, Eren's fists were clenched at his sides, shaking. Even as dread cloaked the brunet, Eren could still feel a flush of anger coloring his cheeks. Armin was a mere yard from his best friend when he heard it, his hands immediately flinging to cover his ears as the blond stared in utter shock. Eren didn't even flinch from the sudden action.

It was everywhere.

Each shard like rain drop scattered onto the floor, painting the empty room's dull brown with diamonds of light.

"EREN!" the blond screamed in horror, "What in the world are you doing?! Y-your hand, it's—"

"It's fine," Eren calmly responded.

“I… I was training this morning and I got whip lash from a freak'n tree. Do you know how many damn branches flew across my neck and face?"

The bob head was unable to phase away the confusion that clung to his face. However, Armin wanted his best friend to get away from the shattered frame that now stood in front of them both. Too afraid that, if he came any closer to the brunet, Eren would do something even crazier, Armin simply nodded in an attempt to calm the German male down.  Trying to silence his own inner turmoil, the bob head stood in place, trying not to offer his childhood friend any other reasons to injure himself.

"So then, why did you—" the blond started. but was cut short when the ex-shifter laughed suddenly.

"Sorry, man… I… I just got mad at myself because I…"

Armin’s blue eyes did not yield from the brunet's right fist that was now bleeding as he stared at every single little piece of glass that stuck out of the Eren’s raw flesh.

With a sharp gulp of air, the ex-shifter finished, "I forgot about it."

"Forgot about…?" Armin urged in a tense manner.

"I forgot that I'm just a human now."

Armin stood there behind Eren without any movement and then let out a weak sigh.

The explanation did not suffice the bob head in the least, because he doubted that tree branches could give Eren such defined discolorations-- not to mention that the injuries still looked more like bite marks. Even though the bob head wanted to know the exact truth, Eren must have had a good reason for this abrupt secrecy surfacing up.

"Sorry," Eren whispered softly.

The ex-titan shifter stepped over the broken shards on the floor towards Armin steadily, so as not to alarm the soldier. Eren’s head hung low in what Armin knew was a gesture of pure defeat, an after effect from the release of the brunet’s uncontrolled anger that Armin had typically witnessed in their childhood.

The bob head wasn't sure how he should take this, so he merely sighed in desperation, "Don't worry about it."

Armin stepped towards the exit of the room and gently ushered in caution, "Now, let's just get your hands fixed up before things get worst. We'll clean this up later, okay?"

The brunet gave a sluggish nod at his friend’s words and followed Armin out of the room. Eren knew that if the blond noticed anything out of the ordinary about the brunet’s reaction, the timid childhood friend wouldn’t mention it.

Either way, Eren couldn't tell Armin the truth.

He couldn't tell anyone.

_Especially not Mikasa…_

* * *

 Erwin sat in his office trying to concentrate on the documents at hand. He had been able to finish signing the excessive papers when the clock hit nine. However, he was unable to continue with further work when he realized his brain was as dead as a swatted fly.

Luckily Hange had passed by earlier with some tea that she had gotten from the infirmary that apparently helped in soothing the after effects of a hangover. The Commander had gratefully taken some and went on with his daily work. Fortunately, the tea had helped with aiding in calming his stomach and nerves. However, it couldn’t lower the amount of activity that Erwin’s brain was racking up silently.

The object occupying the older man's thoughts was not necessarily yesterday's rations of alcohol.

_It’s Eren._

Erwin was sure of three things. One, he had drank too much. Two, he and the brunet had perhaps gotten passed third base in some way seeing as the subordinate had been completely naked beneath the Commander when he awoke. And lastly, Eren was hurt.

The blond didn't have to ask the ex-shifter directly to know the answer. When Erwin had addressed the brunet about the situation at hand, Eren had merely stood in the middle of the room with face turned away. The soldier hadn't even looked at the Commander. Silence had ensued when Erwin realized his subordinate wouldn't be answering him any time soon. Anxiety plunged the older man’s brain swiftly as Erwin sat in his desk.

Perhaps the brunet was embarrassed?

_Who wouldn’t be?_

Perhaps Eren was distraught?

Or maybe even…

_Disgusted?_

Erwin was very ashamed, more so than flustered at the situation. The blond Commander still hadn’t completely wrapped his head around the situation yet, since he couldn’t remember what exactly had happened. If the events of last night had upset Eren on a mental level, then the older man was more than willing to take full responsibility. This wasn’t just simply because the ex-titan shifter was his subordinate. Eren wasn’t just any soldier—no. Eren was a companion, a friend, a comrade, a savior… More so than just having saved humanity, Eren and Erwin had shared memories of horrors and hopes that no one in the world could have imagined. So to realize that the two had crossed each other on sexual terms was more than awkward.

_It’s purely inexcusable._

However, Erwin wasn’t sure how to go about apologizing to the younger man anymore because the blond had already attempted it and failed miserably. When Eren had stood in front of him that morning, he had been prepared to give his plea even before he knew what the problem had been. The older man was sure that the brunet had known just what Erwin was about to do when he started. Yet even with an apology at hand for whatever sin that Erwin had perhaps committed, Eren had fled. The subordinate hadn't let him apologize. The older man was sure that Eren recognized the older man's obvious stand in the situation when the blond had taken a step towards the subordinate. Erwin knew that the ex-shifter was well aware of the fact that the blond would get on his knees if need be.

_So why? Why did he run away?_

Was it because Erwin could no longer ask for forgiveness from the brunet? Was it because Eren could no longer look at him the same way anymore? The subordinate had fled the scene. He had dashed so quick that the Commander hadn’t even had the time to react, his voice merely calling out for the younger man.

_And then Levi had shown up at the door._

Humanity's strongest…

_Or perhaps Humanity's most ignorant right now._

Erwin had been lucky that he had been given some time to have the room cleaned decently well before the Captain had entered. The blond man had been fortunate enough to take the chance to fix his unruly hair when Eren had left his question unanswered right before Levi’s entrance-- not that the scene of Eren, naked beneath him, hadn't woken him up already. Even so Erwin was grateful to some degree that the Captain hadn’t asked for more details as to the state of Eren.

The blond Commander sighed. Levi survived on a finely defined existence which always fell over the border of either yes or no. The Captain was a man of privacy and thought lining security. Erwin had come to understand from past experience. The French soldier would never try to get into other people's business… Well, that was as long as it didn't lower the person's performance at hand or had anything to do with Levi himself personally.

Putting the completed papers into a neat stack in his drawer, the older man stood up from his desk and strode across the wooden planks that lined his office until he reached the small book case situated across from his desk. As the Commander’s right arm reached out to one of the dusty old books crammed between other text collections, Erwin suddenly recalled a faint sensation… The hefty breathing of someone heaving beneath him. However, the recollection was too weak, too blurred and drifting even farther off. Pulling out the rough binding of the book he had been eyeing, the Commander noted that it was almost ten.

_Goodness, I’ve thought about Eren for hours._

Perhaps he would visit the brunet tomorrow. The older man didn't like personal problems getting in the way of work—

Nor did he want the image of Eren's back to be the last memory he had of the soldier.

* * *

 Connie kneeled on the ground with Sasha by his side and Jean angrily mumbling at the back of the small room. With a broom in the bald soldier's hand, Connie swept at the floor solemnly. At the same time, Sasha, with thick matted gloves, picked up the rather large pieces of shattered glass from the ground.

"I bet it was that jackass that broke the mirror," Jean retorted in between his efforts of cleaning up the mess off the floor.

Sasha frowned, knowing exactly who ‘that jackass’ was, and sighed, "Well, Armin didn't say much…."

"You could obviously tell from the way he had his stupid hand bandaged up! He wasn't even hiding it—and he cowered behind Armin like a freaking wuss too!"

Connie sighed, "Look. Maybe he was going to turn to a titan or some--"

"Idiot! He can't turn to a titan anymore!" corrected Jean in frustration over the fact that he was the one now paying for the fool's actions.

The bald soldier bit his upper lip. The tawny head was right. Eren couldn't turn to a titan anymore-- DUR. Even the fact that his wounds hadn't healed very quickly blatantly stated that fact.

"Hey…" Sasha intervened softly, "Do you think they got into a fight?"

Jean pulled away the wooden bucket that held the sharp pieces of glass they had collected, "You mean Armin and Eren?"

Connie considered the idea, "That's possible."

"Well, maybe they need to learn how to fight properly, because heck! Even I know shattering a mirror isn't called fighting. That's just plain stupid," hissed the tawny head as he finished up the corner of the room.

The southern female placed the last large chunk of shimmering crystal into the bin next to her, "It is weird though…. Why would Eren have broken the mirror? This is military property we’re talking about, you know?"

"Yes… Why would he?" came an empty deadpan voice.

All three of the soldiers froze at the sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 Preview:
> 
> "Don't even think about saying you were playing hooky with your friends. I made sure to search thoroughly," the Captain stated, matter of factly, just in case the brat would try to concoct an even more obvious lie.
> 
> The brunet was at lost for words.


	5. The First Mistake: A Debt Needing Payment

"C-captain Levi!" spoke the bald man nervously, "Good afternoon sir!"

The French soldier gave a curt nod in return, his beady eyes meeting up with the other two soldiers briefly to acknowledge their presence, "What happened here, soldiers?"

Sasha gave a rather unpolished salute and answered, "We're not completely sure but apparently the mirror in the room was broken, sir."

Levi stepped into the wooden chamber, taking note of the condition of the place. About a few yards from the entrance there was a circular mirror made of brass lining. His reflection should have been there in the body of the frame, but no. The glass pane that typically shot back a reflection was gone, or at least most of it. Only small pieces of the hardened fiber still clung to the edges of the metal circle, barely snagged on with pressure. In truth, the floor should have been littered with jagged shards. But luckily, the Captain had arrived at the scene quite late. Most of the glass pieces had been picked up already. However, the French soldier’s eyes could still spot small little speckles of light flickering now and then through the cracks of the wooden boards. It was already night time, so Levi was sure that the three soldiers would not be able to clean the place thoroughly with such poor lighting.

The trio of subordinates continued to stare at Humanity's strongest awaiting any sort of comment or retort he may have had, but instead Levi merely stated, "Alright. Take those buckets and go."

Connie blinked in surprise, "S-sir? But we'd like to—"

"It's too dark. I'll make sure to have the kitchen staff look over this room and finish it in the morning."

The three didn't want to disobey orders, so they got their cleaning utensils and began making their exit towards the door when the Captain suddenly spoke again, "The mirror."

"Y-yes, Captain?!" the three said in unison.

Jean, Sasha, and Connie had been afraid that the damage would come out of their own pockets earlier since they were the only ones—along with Armin and Eren-- that had reached the scene in the room today. However, Levi answered their fears calmly.

"I'll report it as an accident since I'm sure none of you actually intended to damage military property."

Jean gave out an internal sigh of relief while Sasha and Connie tried to hide their expressions of gratitude due to embarrassment. Seeing that Levi had no more to say, the trio pulled themselves together and strutted out of the room as quickly as possible, each following after the other. The French soldier's eyebrows scrunched together the moment his subordinates had left the scene. Investigating the place deeper, Levi inspected the empty frame hanging on the wall once again. Although the French soldier hadn't caught on to everything that the three had been conversing about— seeing as he didn't eavesdrop purposefully, his ears had certainly heard the southern girl's last sentence.

Eren had lived in the ring just right next to the outermost wall, and he was sure people who were blatantly swimming in gold didn't occupy themselves in such a dangerous area. So of course, the French soldier knew Eren hadn't been rich. He had lived decently well though with a family to call him home. But even with the death of his blood relatives, the brunet was a man who avoided anything having to do with money. So to hear that the ex-shifter had damaged military property seemed to catch Levi's attention, not to mention that Eren had made a mess of the room AND hadn't been the one to clean it.

_Perhaps Eren is getting out of hands?_

Not only had Eren skipped an experimental session with Hange and the others, but he hadn't reported to his room last night; not to mention, the excess shards of glass now occupying the floor due to the ex-shifter's actions. The Captain paced towards the entrance of the room with annoyance as he made his exit, making sure to close the door firmly behind him. The head soldier quickly reported to the kitchen and instructed the staff to place a prohibition sign on the assigned door so that no one would go in ignorant of the danger that littered the wooden planks. With that done, Levi turned on his heels and headed towards Eren's dungeon.

The brat needed explanation for his actions. Perhaps the reason that Eren ran out of Erwin's office that morning was because the Commander had confronted the fool's childish actions last night and today... If that were so though, then Erwin was more so on top of things than Levi gave him credit for.

* * *

Eren lay in bed with blankets strewn about to the side almost dangling off the hard mattress. His injured hand, now clean and bandaged, was placed gingerly next to him, but the soldier could still feel the flesh throbbing under the thick layers of cotton that covered his wound. Thank god Armin had left him be after making sure the brunet's hand didn't have any more shards embedded in his knuckles. Eren closed his eyes listening to his own metronomic breaths. Suddenly, the ex-shifter cherished the emptiness of his dark dungeon. It was funny how he had hated it. However, the comfort of being alone wasn't enough though. Because as the sound of activity above the chamber echoed in through the doors that led to his bed, the ex-shifter's thoughts were beginning to wander about again.

_I lied to Armin._

The brunet felt a surge of guilt building up in his stomach, but held it back. The lie seemed reasonable though, right? It wasn't like he had told the bob head a story revolving around unicorns and titans shining shoes like leprechauns. Although Eren had hit a pretty good point with Armin about his lack in healing, it wasn't what had made the ex-shifter hit the mirror.

_It was the recollection…_

_The memory…_

The vivid sensation of Erwin's tongue sliding across his abdomen.

Of the older man's grip on his hardened-

_GOD! No no no no!_

Eren screamed internally hitting the bed with his uninjured fist. He wasn't going to think about it. He didn't WANT to think about it. The very same memories that rushed into the brunet just now was what had made him so flustered that he had instinctively punched the mirror not too long ago; the one thing in the room that revealed the physical truth to him. In truth, Eren hadn't even registered the action until Armin's voice had ringed out from behind him.

The ex-shifter ruffled his hair about with his left hand frustrated seeing as his right ached too much to be of much use to him. Fortunately, his bob headed friend had suggested a change of shirt, since they both hadn’t wanted Mikasa getting worried over the brunet. As always, Armin’s train of thought synchronized with Eren when it came to their little trio of friends. The ex-shifter had immediately found one of his full white button up collared shirts that he would wear from time to time on more formal occasions and flung it on. Although the shirt was rather uncomfortable since it clung a bit close to the skin, the German soldier didn't have much choice seeing as most of his clothes with neck coverage were in the laundry room being washed.

Now alone in the dungeon that he should have returned to last night, Eren closed his eyes again and went back to listening to the soft murmur of the guards that watched the entrance to his chamber as he began to drift off to sleep. Evening out his breath, the ex-shifter turned to the side nearing the state of senses fading. Just as the soldier was about to lose unconsciousness, a loud THUNK echoed from the foot of his bed. Eren's eyes shot open, immediately getting up into a sitting position. Squinting at the entrance to the chamber he heard a voice echo.

"Hey.”

Catching the gasp that was about to slip from his lips, the brunet scrambled to get off his bed to give a messy salute as he realized who it was that was addressing him. The French man approached the cell door.

"Where have you been all day?" the older man huffed, frustration plain on his face with the way his brows crinkled in impatience.

"Training ground, Ca—"

"Lies," hissed Levi coldly with eyes boring into the lanky figure.

Eren could feel shivers spiking through him with parched throat now suddenly aching from the untruth that was just spat out. The Captain most likely had been looking for him on the field amongst the soldiers in order to complete a task of sorts if he already knew this much. How else would have the head soldier noticed the younger man's disappearance? Fear crossed the German male's heart.

The older man seldom resorted to violence when it came to his subordinates. However, Eren had been a rather different case seeing as they both met when the brunet had just discovered his titan shifting powers. The discipline that the Captain had flashed to the court had been brutal to the extreme. But proceeding passed the rare event, the French soldier held his ground most of the time with words. Just words. And although the method seemed quite simple, each time Levi spoke it had struck Eren's mind deeply. Even so, the ex-shifter most certainly did get to feel the heel of the Captain’s boot from time to time, most of the occasions revolving around the fool's lack of self-control in battle and in front of others.

"You weren't in your chamber last night, guards reported you were absent and never returned at sleeping hours nor morning's change of shift. You had an appointment with Hange at one, but you skipped out and did not report to the calling."

Eren listened intently, positioned at the edge of the bed. Standing at the side of the white mattress, Eren felt his face paling as Levi’s list went on and on. However, having heard the last event made the brunet's heart almost stop.

_Damn it!_

Eren had forgotten about the ex-titan shifter meeting that Annie had told him about.

"I am sure the meeting you had with the Commander did not occupy you until noon," the Captain stated in his deduction that Erwin had slept in due to last night’s party and then met up with Eren later that day, "So where were you last night until this morning?"

The brunet stared at the stone flooring, his body facing towards Levi as he recalled of the blond Commander. How did Levi know that he had been with Erwin? Perhaps the Commander had told the head soldier? Eren's heart sank deeper.

"Jaeger. Answer me. Truthfully," ordered the head soldier as he crossed his arms with face expressionless. However, the older man’s body gave off an air of intolerance.

"Sir… I..." Eren's words trailed off as the brunet collected his thoughts.

Levi had just stated that the ex-shifter couldn't have been with the Commander until around near noon. So that meant that Erwin hadn't exposed the two's drunken activities from last night. Perhaps the older man had informed Levi that they had been in a meeting after the morning had passed? But if that were true why hadn’t Erwin covered for him thoroughly since the Captain was aware he had been missing since last night? Perhaps Erwin didn’t care enough for the brunet or he had been caught off guard? Something was amiss, but Eren didn't have the time to sort it out right now.

Either way, Levi was ignorant of the events that had occurred. Thank the lord. However, the brunet could feel his eyes swelling from embarrassment. He had just been caught lying and Eren wasn't sure if his next lie would pass the Captain’s stone intuition.

"Don't even think about saying you were playing hooky with your friends. I made sure to search thoroughly," the Captain stated, noticing the drawn out silence from Eren.

The brunet was at lost for words. Eren didn't have a good comeback, and the younger man also feared that perhaps his next scenario would be full of holes. But if the soldier didn't find a good alibi to go by soon, Levi would perhaps tear him apart piece by piece.

"I-it's the truth! I wasn't on the training ground. I lied, and I apologize for that, sir. However, I was training!"

The Captain arched a brow irritably, perhaps the only feature on the man's face that expressed his inner thoughts so openly.

"Oh? Training now? Where?" mused the head soldier, his crossed arms coming apart and sliding to his sides as he stayed outside of the cell.

"Outside of the camping grounds. I don't need everyone watching me when I train—I'm not a kid anymore, Captain," stated the soldier defiantly.

Eren could feel the tears that were building from before subside as his reasoning began aligning again, making the panic in his voice fade away.

"Don't you go getting all cocky, soldier. Just because the court heads haven't been on your tail doesn't mean you go and act like a five year old on a new built playground," Levi jeered, "Next time you leave the grounds and don't report to your chamber, I'll make sure to lock you up somewhere you'll find wonderful for this 'hard' training of yours."

Eren stood there next to his messy bed staring at the broad shoulders of the French man that he had always called a hero. If the Captain didn't know of the situation that the brunet was in, and Erwin hadn't told him, most likely, the Commander didn't want the details of last night's event out. What would Levi do if he found out what had happened? Would the Captain be the usual poker faced soldier that led their squad? Levi looked to the side of the room deep in thought. The candles behind Levi flickered about from the weak draft that filtered the basement.

"Jaeger," Levi broke the silence suddenly, "Tomorrow you'll be training with Ackerman and the others in the morning. Don't go skipping again or I'll have Erwin on your tail until sundown."

Eren gave a quick nod at the shorter man a meter or two away from him, not wanting to speak of the blond Commander. And with that, Levi turned to make his leave not uttering another word. Well, at least Eren didn’t get a good beating. Perhaps with the discovery that Eren could no longer heal at god speed, Levi had decided to restrain himself from knocking out his teeth. The brunet looked up at the Captain’s back, furthering away with each step. Biting his upper lip, Eren's thoughts slowly plunged into a silent sadness.

When the brunet had been standing in the blond Commander’s office after awakening from the horrid mess they had made, Eren had been sure of just what Erwin would do exactly. The ex-shifter understood the Commander well enough that if Erwin had to, the older blond would take it upon himself to make up for whatever he had done wrong. The brunet loved that about him; Erwin's honest and straightforward heart that had led them into battle countless times before.

And Levi— the shorter of the two standing there by his side ready to raise his blade.

The thing was, Eren didn't want Erwin to apologize for what he did, because Eren didn't deserve that. It had been one slip. A single mistake that had led the two to where they were this morning, and the brunet couldn't blame the Commander for that. Even so, it didn't change the fact that they both were responsible for the mess. It wasn't only that though. Eren shut his eyes and reminded himself of the one thing that made Erwin and him different on so many different levels…

Erwin was Commander.

Eren was soldier.

Erwin had a good title going.

Eren had been a monster.

Erwin had lead them to the end of the titans.

Eren had helped, but lost himself many times along the way.

Who had been the one that guided him? Who had been the one that stood among broken bodies and still didn't let the faces of his fallen comrades tear down the unyielding sight of the path that lead to humanity's freedom?

It had been Erwin.

It had been Levi.

It had been those two that pulled the shattered soldier's up and dragged them across the battlefield even when all hope seemed lost, and Eren knew no one could repay the men for their efforts and dedication. The brunet had been given the greatest gift from his leaders, and that was the chance to live and prove his worth to himself, his friends, and the Court.

Eren could feel his heart sink.

The ex-shifter was so indebted; he knew he could never pay the two older men back. Money wasn't a doable course of exchange because time along with sweat and blood overcame the value of physical material, not that the brunet even earned enough to suggest that option. All in all, if Eren couldn't ever repay them, the brunet wanted to at least be the best of use he could to the Commander and Captain.

So if Erwin had made a slip that night, the brunet would do his best to avoid its exposition to the world. Erwin's name didn't need to be tarnished, and Eren didn't deserve an apology when he could barely make up for what the two had done for him in the past. Eren’s thoughts reeled through his mind as the soldier closed his eyes shuffling himself back into bed. Shoving the feeling of discomfort aside, the brunet pulled the blanket over himself and let his mind drift off to sleep. Eren didn't want the Commander’s head bowing in shame—no.

Everything that had occurred last night...

Let's just say it never happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 Preview:
> 
> Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Faster! Come on!
> 
> Eren's lids closed shut, trying to concentrate on soothing his throbbing veins.


	6. The First Mistake: Hush Now My Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am having such a BIG ISSUE WITH COMMAS! JESUS!
> 
> If anyone would be willing to give me some advice on commas, I'd love to hear it because I'm about to rip my hair out. (e[]e)9
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

The sun illuminated through the thick forest canopy as he swung from branch to branch and utilized his gear after a month long retirement. Eren's curiosity had peaked at the sudden instruction to train with his friends. Since typically, he never even got to see their faces on a day to day basis anymore. The gang had left the training grounds and distanced themselves quite a ways from headquarters. Apparently, Erwin had been asked by the Court to find other uses for the three dimensional maneuver gear other than killing titans since humanity no longer would be in need of murdering the fifteen feet monsters. However, the blond had been too busy to actually start up anything for the court and so had left it to Hange to do whatever she desired. Well… That was as long as it was safe.

At first the eccentric had suggested delivery services such as mail packaging… Perhaps even catering! Luckily, Humanity's strongest had kicked some reality into her that they were in the middle of nowhere outside of the walls. There weren't any buildings that she could possibly get her hands on to test out her theory of landing in windows or balancing plates of food. Besides, they had a limited supply of sustenance, so catering in experiments was out of the question. After a long session of bickering with Levi last night, as the squad leader had told them, Hange had finally woken up that morning with a different plan in mind. Instead the group was going to utilize their gear for hunting. 

For food.

"Eren, you alright?!" shouted Armin from behind.

The brunet didn't turn around as he yelled out an answer while flying into the air, "Yeah! Doing fine over here! You guys see anything yet?"

Connie passed by the brunet at that moment smoothing right through a small space between two thickly growing branches, "Heck, yeah! Sasha already got her first kill. A rabbit or something! Hange said get back once we've got a good grab."

Just as the bald head finished his sentence and flew forward, a figure soared through the trees towards them from the front. Catching sight of the red scarf tightly wrapped around the person's neck, Eren recognized it was Mikasa. The raven head had something that looked like a bag of potatoes on her right shoulder. As the distance between the female warrior and the two men reduced, Eren realized what his adopted sister was holding as he came to a slow stop.

"I-is that…" Eren's eyes widened with is body dangling in mid-air unmoving.

Mikasa slowed down as she reached Eren a bit out of breath, "Yeah. My first kill for the day."

Armin came to land on a branch not too far from the two and shouted excitedly, "Is that a boar you got there, Mikasa?!"

The female warrior gave a quick nod smiling, "I'll go ahead then. You two hurry, alright?"

"Sure thing!" grinned the brunet as he and the bobbed blond shot out their gear again to get a move on since they were being timed.

Just as Mikasa disappeared behind them heading back out towards the edge of the forest, Armin heard a scream echo not too far from them. Eren turned towards his childhood friend and mouthed out a certain bald head's name. Without pause, Armin gave a nod as the blond took the lead. The two quickly flew forward intent on finding their impatient friend that had went ahead while they had been conversing with Mikasa. Eventually the two reached a small clearing.

Armin came to a smooth stop, which Eren hadn't expected. Unable to halt himself from the momentum, the brunet swung right into the blond causing for both their cords to yank with a SNAP from the tree bark. Quickly shooting out the side of his gear that wasn't entangled with Armin's, Eren's hook caught the cross of a lower branch. The brunet flung to the side like a pendulum flipping backwards as Armin plunged passed him but eventually came to an abrupt stop inducing a slight bounce through the thick gear lining.

Breathing harshly, Eren shouted out with blood rushing to his head, "A-Armin! Sorry man! I wasn't paying attention and then I just hit into you! You alright?!"

The blond's hair ruffled slightly as he slowly looked up at the brunet now dangling from his legs, "Yeah… Just a bit dizzy— You should have been more careful Eren! Look at yourself!"

Eren glanced up passed his chest towards the branch his left hook had caught, then down at his friend. They were still a ways from the ground. If they had been closer to the forest basin then he could have just dropped Armin, but that wasn't going to be an option with the way they were positioned at the moment. 

Thanks to the two's collision, Armin's left chord had snapped completely with only his right gear still functioning. However, the chord that had shot from the blond's right side was entangled with Eren's own chord creating a thick knot just above the ex-titan shifter's ankle strangely enough. The brunet only had one chord holding them both, and he wasn't sure if the branch was going to last long enough to pull both of them up.

"Eren," called out Armin from below, "Stay where you are! I'll just reel myself up with the gear hooked to you so I can untie the knot!"

The brunet shouted out an OK as the blond began to ascend towards his friend. Within a few moments, Armin's head made it passed the brunet's shoulder.

"I'm going to use you as a bit of leverage for myself. Just let me know if it hurts, alright? I'll try to be careful."

The ex-shifter gave a quick nod as his friend progressed forward. Armin gripped firmly onto the brunet's side and began to pull himself up. The sensation of Eren's childhood friend's body smoothing progressively against his own sent a jolt to all of his limbs. Without warning, Eren flinched.

With a gasp, Armin clung tighter onto the brunet so as not to fall, "E-Eren? Are you alright?”

The brunet winced slightly at his friend's apology, "Don't worry about it. Just keep going."

Eren didn’t sound very convincing, but Armin was way too concentrated on the task at hand to notice. As the blond continued to move upward towards Eren's ankle, the titan shifter's heartbeat quickened at an alarming rate. He could feel every concavity and curve of Armin's body against his.

_Strange..._

He had never been this conscious before. 

Finally the blond's arms were around the ex-shifter's waist, "I'm almost there Eren. Just hold on a bit longer!"

The brunet gulped in air as he felt cold sweat slowly beading on his brow.

_Hurry, hurry, hurry… HURRY._

The blond's hands clung to Eren's straining muscles as he shifted himself up towards the soldier's ankle where the knot was. With his chest heaving up slightly, Eren's fist clenched together. The brunet felt helpless with both of his hands dangling below his head towards the ground. His legs were doing their best to not move as Armin worked on the knot at his feet. However, his drumming heart only told him that he was failing to calm himself.

_Faster, faster, faster… Faster! FASTER! COME! ON!_

Eren's lids closed shut in an attempt to concentrate on soothing his throbbing veins. He could feel Armin tugging at his ankle, the sensation unsteady as the brunet continued to dangle awkwardly from the tree branch that the two were both desperately depending on to hold their weight.

"Alright Eren! I got it!" grinned the blond from above.

Eren's eyes flung open, hopeful, as he cranked his neck in order to look up at Armin.

"I'm going to shoot to another branch so we can divide the weight, okay?"

The brunet gave a grunt in response, not caring what his friend did as long as they could just hurry up and separate themselves apart. However, to Eren's surprise, instead of immediately shooting out his loosened gear, the blond shifted down a little towards Eren's head causing for the ex-shifter's tucked shirt to become untucked and fall down towards his chest exposing his stomach. The brunet was about to say something when, without warning, Eren felt his friend's soft fingertips graze over the sensitive tanned flesh of his abs.

And that was it.

Eren's body involuntarily flung away from Armin, which made the blond yelp out in surprise. Before the two knew it, the branch that had been holding their weight snapped.

* * *

  _The subordinate couldn't turn his head._   _No._   _Perhaps he didn't want to._   _Erwin continued to stare at the younger man; Eren's pants hung at the hips seemingly too loose due to the uselessness of an apparently broken belt. The ex-shifter was in the middle of putting on his shirt, but had paused when Erwin had begun speaking to him._

_"Eren...?" Erwin questioned softly._

_Eren bit his upper lip attempting to hold back something... Something that Erwin couldn't understand._   _Not knowing how to respond to the broken soldier, Erwin approached the brunet slowly. From the expression on Eren's face, the Commander knew something had gone wrong._

_But what?_

THUNK! THUNK!

"Erwin? Tch… Why in the shit is his door even locked?" came an impatient voice hovering behind a slate of wood.

The blond shuffled about, trying to ignore whoever it was that was attempting to call him back into duty. The man was tired… So tired from the day's work and he just wanted to get some shut-eye.

"Erwin, I know that you're in there. Open up," came the stern voice again. With a frustrated grunt, the older man sluggishly pulled himself up from the comfortable couch that he had apparently fallen asleep in. Rubbing his eyes, Erwin straightened his hair and smoothed down his wrinkled uniform reluctantly before getting up. With a slow creak, the wooden frame opened as the Commander glanced down at a certain short French man.

"Took you long enough…" huffed Levi with brows scrunched together in annoyance.

Erwin attempted a weak smile as he ushered Humanity's strongest into his office, "Tea?"

Levi gave a grunt of approval before making his way to the couch that the blond had passed out on just a few moments ago. As Erwin went about making tea for his guest, Levi slumped against the firm cushions of the room's furniture before speaking.

"Eren."

The Commander froze internally, his hands almost letting go of the hot pot of water he was gripping on to. Luckily, the Commander caught himself in the middle of his panic before any of the drink had spilled over onto his mahogany desk. Although the man's falter had been almost miniscule, Levi took notice of Erwin's reaction to Eren's name. The French man looked away softly, exhaling as he continued.

"He's hiding something from us. I'm sure you've already caught on, seeing as you addressed him even before myself yesterday afternoon. I don't know what he could be concealing, but if you've already got him under your belt and understand the circumstances of what he's done then I won't investigate further."

Erwin finished with preparation of the tea as Levi completed his sentence. With a slight clink, the Commander took the two cups and stepped towards the Captain handing him the warm drink.

"So you've caught on," Erwin stated as Levi took the cup from the blond.

The French man took a sip as he glanced up at the Commander, curious as to what Eren could possibly be trying to hide from his keeper. The blond placed his cup down on the small empty coffee table between him and Levi as he pulled up a small wooden stool for himself.

"I'm afraid that Eren and I have gotten ourselves tangled in… A little something…," Erwin spoke with gaze distant and unfocused.

The Captain stayed seated awaiting further elaboration from the older man.

"I'm currently trying to get it under control, but I'm not completely sure how Eren is taking it in. For personal reasons, I won't say too much about the current situation. However—"

"Erwin," Levi interrupted.

The blond blinked from his thoughts, having been cut off mid-way.

The French man placed his drink down next to Erwin's own, "Don't get too attached to the brat. If things don't go well, you know what will happen."

Erwin sighed at Levi's words, "I know that, Levi. Don't worry... Although I said 'for personal reasons' I'm not trying to curb myself from work."

Although the Commander stated that with his usual confidence, inside he felt something tweaking but he ignored the feeling. However, a thought crossed his mind.

"However now that you've brought up that topic, it's not just me you know?"

Levi's eyes hardened at how the blond's line of sight had settled on Humanity's strongest.

"Don’t—"

"Just because it's not expressed, doesn't mean it isn't there," spoke Erwin with voice going soft, "We lose people and we gain some. Although many people still fear him, you and I know how much he has proven himself to us. He's nothing short of typical. I am sure that you and I can connect to him on a different level than others."

"Tch— Nothing short of typical my ass. He's worse than the shitheads sweeping the market streets at noon," retorted Levi with a hint of warmth in his eyes.

Erwin was about to smile at the statement when a thought dawned on him.

"Eren is out with Hange and the squad, I suppose?"

"Apparently four eyes wanted to run an experiment at the edge of the forest to the south. There's nothing much really progressing lately with the way the court is arguing over land division so I let Hange take him for the day."

"You too."

"Huh?" the Captain quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

"Go with them."

Levi stared at the man in front of him, "Why?"

The blond chuckled, "You don't have to stay for whatever they're doing, but just go check up on Eren for my sake. You're done with your day's work right?"

Levi squinted.

_For his sake, he says._

The French man frowned slightly as he thought through his day's schedule, "Yes, I am."

"Well then, off you go. Wake me when Hange gets back, would you?"

The Captain gave a curt nod before getting up from his seat and exiting the room. Erwin stayed on his wooden stool and stared at the two cups in front of him. Levi's was empty of course. With a huff, the man heaved himself off the small stool he had been seated on and walked towards the open window located at the back of the room. The blond man surveyed the scenery from his office as thoughts of Eren ran through him.

What had happened…

It must have been something that Eren and Erwin both had mistakenly done impetuously without thought.

Erwin wasn't ready yet. 

He wasn't ready for Levi to know.

And if he could fix things between him and Eren, then perhaps it would be even better if the French man never found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 Preview:
> 
> "Captain Levi," the female warrior spoke out calmly.
> 
> The older man looked up at the female soldier with disinterest.
> 
> "Can we talk in private?"


	7. The First Mistake: A Pique of Interest

"Eren! Wait up!" shouted Connie as the three finally made it out of the forest with a very large and hairy object in his and Armin's arms, "What is the matter with you?!"

Mikasa, having been surveying the bleak fields that spread between headquarters and the forest canopy, quickly turned around when she heard the shouting of her adopted brother's name. With the help of a few others, Connie and Armin heaved the dead creature onto a wooden carriage with a loud THUD.

"Big catch," Mikasa commented offhandedly before looking up to question Armin about Eren via a concerned glance.

The brunet and his bob headed friend were a mess with dried leaves and broken twigs decorating their brows like crowns.

"M-Mikasa…" exhaled Armin in relief, "Um… Eren… That is... I think I accidentally hurt Eren? But he won't say anything. Uh-- Talk to him will you?"

The brunet had strolled a little ways from the group and his friends, straightening out his jacket and turning over any backward belts he had. Mikasa eyed the ex-shifter with concern as she turned away from Armin and paced towards her adopted brother.

"Eren, what's wrong?" probed the female soldier, her voice coming out lax.

The ex-shifter froze slightly at the female warrior's voice but then quickly twisted around with a grin plastered on his face adding in a nervous laugh, "Well, I wasn't paying attention so I flew right into Armin while we were trying to find Connie. My back and waist hurts slightly… Urgh… I mean a lot. I think I may have some bruises but that's about it. Nothing to worry about! We have extra gear lining right? Armin's and mine broke on one side. Well then, I'll just go fix this up now then!"

Before Mikasa could say anything, Eren hopped off towards the direction where the extra wire was kept. The brunet let out a sigh of relief once everyone's attention had gone to the wooden cart, which held the majority of the carcasses each soldier had brought back from out of the forest.

Apparently Connie had snagged his lining on a branch and found himself plummeting to the ground. Strangely enough, the bald soldier had been lucky to land in a grove of overgrown bushes. Armin and Eren weren't so fortunate when they made their descend to the ground. The childhood friends had tangled and snapped a number of branches before falling way passed the trunk of whatever overgrown tree had been willing to help lower their speed of plunge. Through some great fortune, the duo didn't crack any bones.

Well…

That was because they had landed on a sleeping bear. Their fall had apparently been so perfect that they had found cushion and a kill. With the awkward stance that Eren and Armin had taken as they had plummeted downward, the two effectively broke the bear's neck and spine at the same time instantly killing the big hairy creature. 

Once the bald soldier had pulled his gear together, Connie had decided to travel back towards the forest's edge even though he was without a catch in an attempt to find his friends. He had heard someone’s desperate scream after all. When the bald soldier had arrived and been filled in on the situation, the three had worked together with Armin and Eren's broken lining to get the heavy carcass back to the outside world. It had been a strange and awkward team effort when they decided to use Eren's and Armin's broken straps as ropes to hold up the dead bear. The brunet and blond took turns swinging at an uncomfortable angle with a dead animal dragging them both down. However by some great luck, the trio managed to make it out unscathed.

The group gathered around the wooden cart that held the fresh meat as Hange finished taking note of the experiment with the addition of Eren and Armin's gear completed in being re-wired. As the gang of soldiers readied themselves for the next round of activities, Hange closed her notebook and began giving out orders.

"Alright! Let's have everyone in pairs now! Come on! Come on!" shouted the eccentric.

Each person found a partner to work with as the female scientist continued with her instructions, "Alright! This time I want you all to go back in but aim for a flying animal, alright? Don't get on the ground! All air work now! I'll be timing again, so make sure to not drift off too far from the edge! You guys ready?"

Everyone gave a swift nod as Hange blew the whistle to start. With the high pitch sound cutting through the air, each soldier shot out their gear and was gone from sight within seconds. And that was how Levi found Hange—alone and awaiting her little guinea pigs to return. 

The female scientist noticed the short man's stature from the corner of her eyes and turned around to give an excited wave, "Joining in on us today now are you Captain?!"

Levi gave a roll of his eyes as he closed the distance between them, "Orders from Erwin to check up on you."

"Really now? Perhaps that's just an excuse to keep track of your cute little squad?" teased Hange, her smile widening with a silly spark in her eyes.

The Captain frowned at the eccentric's idea of a joke, "How's progress?"

"Oh! Good! Good! I'll have to compile up the data and sort out the timing later when we get back," chirped the female scientist.

Hange continued to rant on and on about her progress to Levi. However, the Captain and squad leader's conversation was interrupted when the sound of soldier's landing on hard dirt came in hissing not too far from them. The two turned around to find Annie, Ymir, and Christa already back; each woman with a different type of winged creature in their hands.

"On the cart too?" asked Annie with little interest.

Hange gave a quick nod as she investigated the new types of birds the three had discovered. Each of the winged animals shown with bright colors and differently shaped beaks.

"My gosh! These are gorgeous!" praised the eccentric, her eyes widening at the find, "I can't wait to take them into my lab and prod their beautiful flesh apart!"

Levi should probably stay with the group until they leave, but he was already getting tired of Hange’s endless rants. It seemed the eccentric had everything under control after all.

"We don't need any more details about your nightly shift of shitting. I'll be heading back now. Anything you need to tell Erwin?" grunted Levi as he shifted the cape hovering over his shoulder.

Hange turned her head, eyes still sparkling, "Just let him know we're almost done! We'll be back soon!"

"Good," the French man responded.

Just as Levi was about to turn around and return, he heard the sound of other soldiers landing onto the hard earth.

"Eren!" Mikasa yelled out as a bob headed blond tailed from right behind her. Jean was the last to get out of the greenery, apparently having been partnered with Armin.

Levi caught sight of the ex-shifter stomping away from the raven head, anxiously trying to get some distance between him and any other soldiers occupying the dirt ground.

"What's the problem here?" Levi spoke out a bit too haste.

His curiosity had sparked his tongue before he had time to hold it back.

Expectedly, green eyes widened at the sight of the Captain. The sound of the stern man's voice had knocked Eren out of his tantrum. Levi released a silent sigh as he strutted towards the ex-shifter a few meters away. Mikasa and Armin stood where they were, eyeing the brunet with worry. With a clenched fist, Mikasa intervened the short statured man's path with eyes narrowing. Taking a rather bold initiative, the raven head stood in front of Humanity's Strongest, stopping Levi from going any further towards the brunet.

"Captain Levi," the female warrior spoke out calmly.

The older man looked up at the female soldier with disinterest.

"Can we talk in private?"

Levi frowned slightly at the sudden request. From the corner of his peripheral vision he could see Eren was occupied with attempting to look like he was busy with something so as to avoid talking with the French man.

_What is he hiding?_

Mikasa ignored the amount of attention Levi was giving her adopted brother and, instead, took the French man's silence as consent to continue. Without a word, the raven head walked away from the group. The Captain thought about ignoring the female soldier's request but, with a slight pause, reluctantly tailed her away from the brunet.

Although it was true that Levi had nothing to do after checking up on Hange and reporting to Erwin, he was still an impatient man. No, he wasn't unsociable. He just hated small talk. However, something told the French soldier that Mikasa wasn't going to be talking about making flower crowns in the grass over a picnic.

Once the two were a good number of yards away from the others, the female soldier turned swiftly around to address the man behind her, her eyes hardening.

"Why are you here?"

The Captain knew what Mikasa was referring to.

The raven head had been told that the group of soldiers would only be spending time with Hange today, and Erwin and Levi would not meet with the gang until night fall. However, Erwin had instructed the French man to come check up on them (more like Eren…) since Levi had finished his duties earlier than expected. Looking at the situation now though, the older man was too lazy to explain to the raven head and, so instead, let the conversation stray back to something that seemed to nitpick at his brain.

Why had he been led away from the group when they could have obviously just spoken in front of the others?

Was there something Mikasa didn't want the soldiers to hear?

Levi looked at the female warrior with a deadpan expressioin, "You tell me."

The raven head's eyes widened slightly at the comeback.

However, it didn't throw her off in the least, "Fine then. Eren is sensitive, sir."

The Captain let the statement sink in.

Yes. Eren was sensitive. No. He wasn't just sensitive.

He was a freak'n DRAMA queen.

However, through the years, the brunet had progressively grown out of his teenage hormonal mood swings. Dissecting the sentence further; Eren was emotional. Yes. Very, very much responsive and actively reacting. But that was typical of him.

_So what is the importance of this conversation?_

"Eren's been good. He's been doing great. He's progressing well, and he hasn't been violent. Armin and I can prove it, Captain. We have evidence—even Hange can. She's done experiments on him and he hasn't rebooted her even once. Recently, training has been slightly askew, but Eren has attended them all save yesterday because he was injured from his own personal training agenda. I'm sure you can understand as well. He's stubborn—yeah. But he's obedient, sir. Well, he's not a titan anymore so of course he needed time to heal. But he's still dedicated and if you need proof I'd gladly get him to demonstrate for you. So if—"

"I get it."

Mikasa was trembling slightly, her breathing coming out with a slight shake blowing away the strands of elegant black silhouetting the side of her face. Levi's frown had gotten even deeper, his brows scrunched together from the fact that he knew what Mikasa was getting at here.

"I get it, Ackerman. And no—I'm not here to punish him. That's already been done enough."

Mikasa's eyes suddenly turned to crescents, "So it was you..."

The Captain irked an eyebrow at the statement, "What?"

The raven head bit her upper lip trying to withhold her anger from spilling, "Eren's jaw. I saw it."

Levi continued to stare at Ackerman, his confusion un-phased.

_What about Eren's fucking jaw?_

"You hurt Eren."

Levi's frown deepened at the accusation and spoke calmly, "I did not lay a finger on him, Ackerman. I have only spoken to him last night."

_And maybe threatened him a little._

The female warrior's eyes bore into the older man. At first it had been accusing, but now it had softened to some degree. Armin had informed the raven head last night that Eren had gone training yesterday morning outside of the safe perimeters of headquarters on his own; thus the reason why he hadn't been at the training ground with the others. However, the blond hadn't informed Mikasa of the brunet's injuries.

This morning, the raven head had taken it upon herself to lecture the brunet thoroughly about safety procedures. Eren gave back the usual retort about not being a child anymore which irked the female warrior to no end. However, Mikasa had done her best to keep her cool. At least, that was until she noticed the small bruises under Eren's jawline when he had turned his head to the side to plead Armin to save him from the girl's 'motherly' lectures. Mikasa hadn't said anything at the time, but, in her cage of thoughts, she had already begun deducting down the list of candidates that could have possibly hurt her adopted sibling. By the time the group had finished the first experiment with Hange, Mikasa's brain had fell upon one person that could have possibly injured Eren out of her sight…

Which was obviously none other than the great Levi.

When Hange had reported to the Captain yesterday afternoon about Eren's disappearance, the French man had gone looking for him had he not? If so, then when Eren had been found, wouldn't the Captain have punished the brunet accordingly? Mikasa was sure that Levi had held back his kicks and punches since the bruises that she had caught glance of on Eren had been rather miniscule. But even so, the thought that someone had hurt Eren was beyond aggravating. But to Mikasa's surprise, Levi had just confessed to her that he hadn't done anything to the brunet. If the French man wasn't lying, then the only reason for Eren's injuries would most likely be the ex-shifter's personal training that the raven head felt was being taken too seriously.

"Tell me, is the brat's performance hindering today's experiment?"

The sound of the Captain's voice brought the raven head back to reality. Mikasa's brows scrunched a little from the French man's use of "brat" but didn't give a reboot.

Not looking up, the female warrior answered, "Not… necessarily."

Levi snorted to himself internally.

_Which means, yes it is._

It was obvious that Mikasa wanted to defend her adopted brother, but of course there was also the line of power that she had to adhere to. Levi gave a quick glance at the brunet, who had settled off on a dead stump. Apparently, Hange had finished her experiment, and everyone was getting their gear off and put away. Eren's shoulders were slumped over as he attempted to take off his straps, the young man's lips forming a thin line in what Levi could only say was a pout.

> _"I'm currently trying to get it under control, but I'm not completely sure how Eren is taking it in."_

From this distance, the French soldier couldn't make out any injuries on the ex-shifter though. He'd have to make sure to check on it later. Levi looked back at Mikasa noting how the soldier's head was tilted down with her face buried in her scarf just enough so that only the bridge of her nose could be seen. With a sigh, the Captain ran his tongue over the front of his top row of teeth.

Eren's performance wasn't hindering to say, but certain things must have come up to make the raven head hesitate to answer Levi. For real? Communication? The training field was for physical work, not emotional wreckage. What could possibly be making Eren make his comrades doubt him? Especially among his closest friends? True, only Mikasa had decided to speak to Humanity's strongest head on. But even from this distance, the Captain could see Armin glancing nervously at Eren as though the brunet would do something uncalled for at any moment. The Captain concentrated thinking over the little clues that he had gathered from today. Most likely Eren's turmoil had something to do with Erwin's situation.

But Levi didn't know what the hell Erwin and Eren's situation was!

> _If Erwin didn't want to share anything, Levi wouldn't pry._

That had always been the rule.

Not just for Erwin, but for everyone. 

"Captain Levi?"

The French man looked up at the raven head, her eyes gazing off at the brunet's effort to untangle the web of straps from the gear he was wearing. The raven head bit her upper lip in thought, her brow lowering as she paused to contemplate. With an exhale, Mikasa held the Captain's gaze not withdrawing.

"I didn't notice before. But since this morning Eren has been… He's been getting trippy, even over just Armin and me. I'm sorry for the accusation, but I saw the bruises under Eren's jaw and well... You're the first person who'd correct him if anything, so I thought it had to have been you. If the injury is from his personal training, then maybe it's too much for him. If you could, hold him back. Even if just a little. I don't know what's going on exactly, but as a personal request, I don't want him getting hurt any more than he has too," finished Mikasa, her voice lowering to almost a whisper.

"I'm worried about him."

The Captain did not break the line of vision the two were holding. Instead he continued to stare straight at the female warrior. He knew Mikasa had little liking for himself, but the female warrior couldn't deny the Captain's unlimited skills in the military. Throughout the years, Mikasa had accepted that. She had accepted that, no matter what she did, Levi would always find Eren first. Levi would always save Eren first. Levi was always first. First in the military. First to be called out to help a soldier. First to address failure.

First, first, first!

It wasn't fair to say the least.

Eren had always turned to Levi and Erwin even before Mikasa and Armin.

But it did make sense.

They were the higher ups. They knew what the plan was. They led the way.

Somewhere in the past, the habit of Eren running up to the two older men became a procedure. A rule. Something that she and the others naturally were forced to get used to. And though Mikasa had expected for Eren to lean on the older men more, she couldn't say it hurt any less. But even with Eren looking at Erwin and Levi the majority of the time, Mikasa didn't give up. If the only way to keep tabs on Eren was through the Captain, Mikasa would do that. She never backed down from Eren's side before, and she wasn't going to now.

"I can't promise anything.”

Yeah, the man seriously couldn’t.

Levi didn't even know what Eren was doing that could possibly wreck him under the jaw. Was he whipping his face with tree branches or something? Trying to hang himself in an attempt to test how well his body really was holding up as a regular human? Levi couldn't imagine Eren turning to a crazy scientist like Hange.

Getting into fights?

Well, the Captain hadn't heard of any brawls in the army that had been noteworthy in the past week. Was Eren being attacked by bullies? But the newbies feared him so much that the majority of people just ignored him-- not to mention, Eren rarely hung out with people he didn't know.

The Captain never pried; the only exception being when a soldier's issues were being displayed through their failure to complete a job. When dogs get wild, you punish them and make sure they're obedient. That's what the Captain was doing right now. Fixing things so that the future would look a bit more promising. Levi would be sure to correct things before Eren got out of hand.

And thus, Levi’s interference was excused.

> _"Just because it's not expressed doesn't mean it isn't there"_

Levi's teeth clenched together.

Although there was really nothing the French soldier could say that he felt towards the brunet, the statement irked him to some degree. Could it be that Humanity's Strongest was going too softly on Eren? Was Levi guiding the twenty five year old too much when perhaps the Captain should just let Eren work his own problems out? Perhaps this was the reason Erwin had felt the need to state such a comment. But even so…

> _“It's not just me you know?”_

Was Erwin trying to say that Eren had become someone very dear to the older man?

Levi shook his head in dismissal.

_What a joke._

The raven head raised her face to look straight at the Captain, "I know, but you've been with Eren for ten years. I'm sure you'll continue to be by his side, right?"

The Captain thought about what Mikasa had just stated as his thoughts ran amuck. Eren was injured. Although the Captain wasn't even sure just how bad the injury was, from what Mikasa had said, it wasn't a very big deal. Hell, the shitty brat had experienced his limps flying off. The worst part wasn't that Eren was injured, but the fact that he was concealing that bit of information from his higher ups. Number two. Eren was losing his good relations with his comrades. And although Levi was not sure over what exactly, his hunches that Erwin seemed most likely to be the cause seemed very plausible. With a final reel of the details, Levi decided he would talk to the brunet.

That usually helped.

The issue of communication with Mikasa and Armin wasn't his business. The only thing that the Captain really needed to check on was Eren's wound. However, if Eren's distractions grew too much and began to expand beyond his little circle of friends, the Captain understood that only then would he need to do something more.

"Captain?!"

The two turned to see Hange approaching them from afar, "Didn't you say you were leaving?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 Preview: 
> 
> Reluctantly, Eren turned around with his eyes glued to the stone floor as he addressed the older man, “Yes, sir?”
> 
> “I need to speak to you, Eren. Please, follow me to my office,” ordered Erwin in his usual neutrally fixed tone.


	8. The First Mistake: A Confrontation Unheard Of

Eren shoved his boots off with frustration plain in his efforts to undress. He was dirty from head to toe in mud, but the thing was he knew he definitely wasn’t the one that had the right to complain at the moment. Sasha had twisted an ankle, and Reiner’s face was pretty bruised up last time he saw them before they had been ushered to the infirmary.

It had been Eren’s fault, which he wouldn’t deny.

He couldn’t help it, and it made him all the more aggravated.

Pulling out the bundle of freshly washed clothes that Armin had been kind enough to deliver to the brunet, Eren yanked off his dirt stained uniform shirt in exchange for a more presentable one. He wasn’t going to have time to take a bath before the Commander and Captain met up with them to look over what Hange had been able to conclude from today’s experiment. However, that wasn’t going to stop Eren from looking at least somewhat decent.

The German soldier wasn’t completely sure if his new shirt covered up the bruises, which Erwin had given him, very well, since the brunet didn’t have a mirror in his so called dungeon of a room. However, from what he could tell via the last polo that he had worn, the button up should suffice. With a quick comb through his messy brown locks with his fingers, Eren licked his chapped lips and headed out of the dimly lit cell. As Eren trudged through the corridors up towards the meeting room that Hange had instructed for the group to arrive at, his thoughts began to wander about.

The brunet seriously didn’t want to see Erwin so soon. He had hoped that his training and Hange’s experimentation would keep him away from the older man but it seemed that his plan had backfired. The brunet’s brows knitted against each other as he tried to calm his nerves. Erwin wasn’t going to do anything to the brunet, Eren reassured himself. The Commander wasn’t that kind of a person. Erwin was a respectable Commander. Smart. Honorable. And the brunet was set on keeping that untarnished image of the blond in his memory that way.

 “Hey Eren!”

The ex-shifter snapped from his little daydream and looked up to meet eyes with a certain female eccentric standing at the entrance to the meeting room. Hange grinned merrily, with all teeth showing, as Eren arrived at the open door.

“Hello, Hange,” the brunet greeted with a rather tired expression.

“It’s good to see you’re here! Everyone has already arrived so I thought you may have went and skipped out on me again,” laughed the scientist, “But luckily you’re here!”

Eren tried to return Hange’s positive attitude with a smile, but he seriously couldn’t feel any joy from the completion of the experiment nor the quickly arriving meeting they were about to attend to.

“Shut the door, four eyes. Let the brat in and let’s get started. We don’t need everyone shitting in this room all night long,” echoed a stern voice from within the chamber, most certainly belonging to Levi.

Hange made a pouting expression at the French man before turning back towards the German soldier still standing at the door. Inviting Eren into the large circular chamber, the brunet did his best to stay calm as he walked to his assigned seat, making sure to not catch Erwin’s attention too much. When Eren had finally sat down, he gave a quick glance at Mikasa and Armin who were seated across from him. Two chairs had been left unoccupied at the end of the table-- which he knew were Sasha’s and Reiner's placing. Armin had taken the liberty of reporting to Hange that the two soldiers would not be attending the meeting with the rest of the gang, since they were still being treated by a nurse in the infirmary. Eren wasn’t sure if the details of how the two came to be in such a situation had already been spilled to the Captain and Commander. However, the German male predicted that once Levi heard of his slips, the French man would be sure to address him about it soon enough.

Strangely though, everything progressed pretty smoothly as the group moved into the main point of their gathering. The majority of the time, Eren found that Hange did most of the talking with everyone inserting a comment or two about how they felt pertaining to the experiment from time to time. As the clock in the room ticked on, the conversation reeled with how further experimentation would perhaps be needed in order to completely suffice the female eccentric’s analysis of the usefulness of the maneuver gear to humanity’s economy. However, everyone came to the general conclusion that yes. The maneuver gear could definitely be used to help increase the efficiency of humanity’s food stock. And with a brief overview of what was to come from the court from Levi, the meeting was adjourned with everyone generally satisfied with the results of the night’s conference.

As the soldiers trickled out of the room leaving just Levi and Hange to loiter about while reviewing over the day's data tables recorded by the eccentric, Eren did his best to be as quiet as possible as he pulled himself up from his assigned seat and began tailing Mikasa and Armin out of the room. As the brunet made it into the hallway and positioned himself between his two friends, a voice echoed from behind him.

“Eren.”

The brunet almost froze in place, recognizing the deep baritone addressing him. Even with his friend’s stopping to acknowledge the presence behind them, Eren bit his upper lip and tried to pretend he hadn’t heard Erwin’s voice. But of course, Mikasa just had to tug at his arm to stop him from leaving…

“Eren… Commander Erwin is calling you,” whispered the raven head into the ex-shifter’s ear completely indiscrete.

The brunet stood there for a moment not wanting to turn around, but he knew he couldn’t avoid the Commander forever. Erwin was his higher up, and, if he strutted away like a deaf cow, his actions would most likely be written down as insubordination. The brunet knew the blond older man would never actually document such a trivial action and report it to the court, but that didn’t mean that other people who didn’t know him wouldn’t do it.

_And we never know who could be lurking in headquarters at night set on getting me in trouble._

If the military heard of anything bad pertaining to the German male, Eren was sure they would try to use it as an excuse to pluck the ex-shifter out of the Legion Scouts and onto the execution list. After all, Eren wasn’t needed anymore by humanity.

Reluctantly, Eren turned around, with his eyes glued to the stone floor, and addressed the older man, “Yes, sir?”

“I need to speak to you, Eren. Please, follow me to my office,” ordered Erwin in his usual neutrally fixed tone.

Eren did his best to keep a poker face as he stepped forward and tailed Erwin down the hallway, not even glancing back at his friends. As the brunet abandoned Armin and Mikasa, who were left to linger in the corridor, Eren braced himself for what was about to come.

* * *

“But things didn’t end up too well…” Hange stated with a worried expression as she shut the door to the entrance of the meeting room and locked it with a click. Levi’s brows scrunched together as he leaned against the cold stone wall in thought, watching the eccentric close up the place.

After a moment, he responded to the female scientist, “Is that why Braun and Braus were absent?”

Hange gave a quick nod as she let out an exasperated sigh, “But look! I’m not trying to say that it was completely Eren’s fault, alright? It’s just that I really wanted to test out my ‘human net’ theory, and today just seemed to be the right day with us out at the South and all! However, Eren just made a slip when everyone was trying to complete the formation. Don’t be too hard on him, alright…? I just want you to check up on him and make sure everything is going alright. You are his keeper after all.”

The Captain gave an internal snort at the second to last statement. It wasn’t like the Captain hadn’t already had that on his agenda. Levi hadn’t expected the brunet’s situation to escalate so quickly since he thought that Eren’s issue had just been among his close friends.

_You know… The usual young love drama shit._

“I’ll see to it,” stated the French man as he strolled down the empty corridor, leading the way.

Eventually, Levi turned the corner into the hallway that ran perpendicular to the female scientist’s quarter. With a wave, Hange departed to bed leaving Humanity’s Stongest stuck with thoughts pertaining to Eren. That is—until he caught sight of a certain bobbed blond and raven head huddled in a dim corner of the hallway that trailed off into the soldier’s dormitory. The French man surveyed over the two quickly, trying to find a certain brown mop head. However, Eren wasn’t there. The brunet had been with Armin and Mikasa as they had made their exit from the meeting, had he not? Perhaps Eren had gone to bed first?

“Arlert. Ackerman,” spoke the French soldier in his usual monotone.

Armin jumped slightly at the sound of Levi’s voice but turned around quickly to give a nervous salute to the older man, “C-Captain Levi! Sorry sir! Mikasa and I just needed to exchange a bit of information before we headed off to bed.”

Levi cocked his head to the side as he approached the duo with arms crossed. Noticing the two's rather stiff and tense posture Levi questioned, "Is there something wrong?"

“N-no! Not at—,” started Armin nervously as he was cut off by the female warrior standing next to him.

“Yes, there is something wrong, sir. Are you guys planning on doing something to Eren?”

Levi frowned at Mikasa, realizing that perhaps the female warrior's sharp tongue was due to Eren's absence from the trio, “Where is Jaeger?”

“You said you didn’t hurt him, Captain. I hope that applies to the future as well…”

Levi stared at the female warrior with no expression as he listened to her voice ring in the hallway softly. Her threatening statement was short, but held a menacing tone that Levi recognized all too well. However, the French soldier didn’t have time for the raven head's prying. He was tired and needed rest—just as everyone else did. Mikasa slid in front of Armin protectively as she looked at the Captain with a stern expression plastered on her face.

“Captain… Urm... A-About your question pertaining to Eren. He is with the Commander,” Armin spoke from behind the female warrior even though he could sense Mikasa’s rising intimidation from whatever scenario she was piecing together in her brain.

The Captain gave a quick nod, satisfied that he had been given a straight answer and turned around ready to head for Erwin’s office when suddenly Mikasa’s voice echoed again from behind him.

“Don't touch Eren.”

Levi didn’t turn around but swung his face to the side glancing over at Mikasa silently, “What do you mean?”

Armin tried to pull the raven head away as he stood anxiously behind the woman with a hand clinging to her wrist in a jittery manner. The raven head ignored her friend's plea and paused to look up at Levi carefully before continuing. This time in a much lower voice.

“I’m saying that he’s fine with us being near him, but—“

 “Something must have happened to Eren, Captain Levi!” Armin shouted suddenly cutting into Mikasa’s sentence when he realized that the girl wasn’t going to help him conceal anything anymore, “And whatever it was that happened, it’s causing him to avoid any sort of physical contact. He’s been that way since yesterday evening, sir. I know it’s not my place to tell you, but as his friend I can’t keep silent forever. Eren told me that he had been training by himself that morning after the Legion’s celebration. I thought he was with you or the Commander… However…”

The blond glanced up at Mikasa, implying that she had told him about her confrontation with the French man. Levi stood there in the middle of the hallway trying to piece together what the blond was saying. He had just finished talking with Hange about Eren’s failure to work with others, and now Mikasa and Armin were trying to tell him that Eren was haphephobic. What in the world was going on? How in the hell did that brat suddenly develop a fear of touching others when he was sure the brunet had been forced to come into contact with other soldiers and ugly ass monsters for a decade already?

Then a thought struck the French man.

“You said that he has been like this since yesterday evening, correct?” reinstated Levi.

Armin gave a swift nod, his large eyes glistening from the candlelight, “Yes, sir.”

Humanity’s Strongest stood there in the elongated corridor no longer completely faced away from the two younger soldiers. The French man's body was turned to the side as Levi let himself drift off in thought.

Between the span of time after the Legion party and when he had caught Eren dashing out of Erwin’s office, the brunet had experienced something horrid. Something so terrible that he could no longer interact with his fellow team mates like normal anymore. What could have occurred? From what Levi could gather, the brunet had been feeding into everyone’s brain that he had been training that morning alone outside of the camp grounds. If that were true, then that would mean that Eren would have most likely experienced this ‘traumatic event’ outside of headquarters. However, Levi knew that no matter how much they all speculated, there was only one way to truly find the answer.

And that was to ask Eren himself.

“Alright then,” the Captain spoke as he turned away from the two again, “That’s enough for tonight, you two. Go to bed.”

Mikasa’s eyes widened at the statement, “But Captain! At least tell us!”

“Tell you what?” grunted the man as he began walking away again.

“Tell me why Eren is so afraid!” shouted the raven head angrily as desperation lined the edges of her voice.

Levi continued strutting away from the two without much care although his thoughts were contradicting his composure. Afraid? Afraid of what? Afraid of being touched as Armin had just stated? How in the hell would he know? He was still in the middle of trying to figure that out himself!

“When Commander Erwin came by and asked for Eren, he… Eren hesitated so much! I’ve known Eren for a long time. The only thing that I can say is Eren looked like his stomach was turning to spaghetti noodles. That’s why I..!”

“That’s why you asked me if we were doing anything to him, obviously,” Levi spoke loudly over his shoulder as the distance between him and the duo continued to increase, “Now go to sleep. That’s an order, Arlert and Ackerman!”

Mikasa’s eyes bore into the older man’s fading silhouette as disappointment wrung her brain. Armin wasn’t sure what to do since he had been hoping that he and Mikasa could avoid telling the Captain anything they had been discussing in the hallway. Well… That had been the original plan. However, the raven head had ruined his precautions and now they had basically spilled everything to the French man recklessly.

* * *

“I remember everything, Eren.”

The brunet’s eyes grew big at the blond’s statement as he stood at the entrance of the Commander's office. Eren hadn’t said it, but he physically refused to enter the room. The blond had noticed Eren's decline of entrance, however Erwin did not usher nor coax him in.

“Y-you do, Commander?”

Erwin gave out a soft exhale as he answered the brunet, “Yes… That night, we did something that was uncalled for.”

Eren stared at the older man facing him from afar. The Commander was leaning against his desk with arms crossed as he stared at the ground speculating the sheening waxed floor of the room. Watching the older man, the subordinate clenched both fists at his sides as he tilted his chin up, letting his green eyes bore into Erwin.

“No you don’t, Commander," the ex-shifter spoke defiantly with confidence.

Erwin looked up at the statement with a hint of surprise in his twinkling blue eyes, but did not defend himself from the accusation. Eren took the silent stare from the blond as a sign to continue.

“And I won’t let you.”

“Why?” Erwin asked suddenly, his face expressionless. Although Eren knew that inside, the older man was perhaps in more turmoil than what was being expressed. However, the ex-shifter wasn’t going to lie to the Commander.

“Because I don’t want you to, sir,” the brunet simply stated as if the rhetorical answer would suffice the older man.

The Commander pushed himself away from his desk and approached the brunet slowly, his heels clicking against the wooden floor.

“Eren, I want to know what happened,” Erwin demanded trying not to sound too forceful as he came to stand a few feet in front of Eren.

The brunet could feel his blood pressure rising, but he knew that this time the door was open and he wasn’t even literally in the room. If the ex-shifter needed to, he could bolt out of the place in seconds so as to avoid the Commander’s questions. Eren reassured himself calmly. However, Eren's body was already in a state of panic over the all too familiar situation. But this time, Erwin wasn’t drunk, and Eren knew that the Commander had no intentions of preying on him.

“Captain Levi speculated that I couldn’t have been in your room until just that afternoon,” Eren spoke leading the conversation elsewhere.

They both knew that ‘that afternoon’ referred to the day following the night of the Legion party.

Erwin sighed, “I didn’t tell him anything, Eren.”

“And I’m glad you didn’t.”

“I’m guessing he came to talk to you since you hadn’t been at training? I apologize… I should have told him something so he could pardon you from your absence.”

“It’s alright. We both were really confused that morning.”

“Eren.”

“Yes, Commander?”

“Please, stop avoiding it.”

Eren’s heart nearly skipped a beat. The brunet could almost sense a slight notion of annoyance from Erwin. Although, he knew that the blond was most likely trying to avoid it from being revealed. The brunet glanced at the older man slowly taking in his appearance from head to toe, careful so as to make sure the blond wasn’t angered.

“Can’t we just pretend it never happened, sir?”

“Pretend what never happened?”

The subordinate leaned back slightly at the sudden counter question. Erwin’s brows knitted together as his lips formed a thin line. He could see the slight fear reflected in Eren’s eyes, but the older man could barely hold back the frustration now seeping out of his voice.

Eren stared at his Commander fully aware of what the older man was trying to establish, “I’m a full grown man, Eren. I have had my experiences and although I am sure you are educated, I feel that we may have done something that you were not prepared for. I am not asking you for details pertaining to the situation because I am simply curious of what had happened that night. I am asking you this because I am personally concerned for your well-being.”

What the blond didn’t say was that he still wanted to believe. He wanted to believe that what had happened had been the result of two individuals acting too recklessly. He wanted to believe that he was not alone in this. That he had and still is the man he believed he is. The man that had an iron will of discipline. The man who could withstand any temptation and still hold out for his men.

But stating that aloud would be too much for his pride to bear.

Erwin had without warning strode forward and placed both of his hands firmly on the brunet’s shoulders, the blond's face a few mere inches from Eren’s own. The Commander’s eyes were wide open searching the brunet's own green orbs for an answer. Eren could feel his heart drumming against his rib cage, his neck throbbing with unsaid fears. However, even with his body in a state of panic, Eren gave a shaking swallow and tilted his head down, so as to make Erwin lean backwards away from him slightly.

“I…” started Eren who was barely able to whisper out an audible response as he tried to withhold the dread building up in his body that irked him to slap the older man's hands away.

The brunet did his best to calmly place both his shaking hands atop of Erwin's in order to slide the blond's elongated fingers down away from his shoulders. The older man could feel the subordinate's fingers trembling as Eren gently placed Erwin's hands back at both of the taller man's sides. The brunet bit his bottom lip in thought as he let his eyes wander to the ground.

He knew he didn't have to tell Erwin anything. He knew he could keep avoiding it, even though deep inside the subordinate was aware that his rejection in spilling the details to the older man could possibly hurt Erwin at this very moment. It could definitely also put a dent in the trust that he and his Commander had built over a span of ten years. However, the price of simply not telling Erwin and having him hurt at the moment over the cost of making Erwin completely shatter upon realization of what he had done was most definitely worth it in the end. Even though things would be a bit awkward for a while here on out, the brunet was sure that the older man would eventually let things slide with the passing of time. The two would forget the event and simply carry on with life without even acknowledging the muddled activity that had occurred between them.

As Eren stood there in contemplation, the Commander's face became an empty slate as he looked down at the brunet. Eren was aware that the older man was doing his best to not show any sign of emotion. Even though the Commander did not try to coax the brunet into continuing, the subordinate knew that Erwin most definitely wanted an answer. And the brunet was also sure that Erwin was waiting for him to finish the sentence that he had started. The subordinate tried to take in a breath to calm his nerves, but his inhale ended up being a trembling gasp to both of their surprise.

“I can't, Commander.”

The brunet stood in front of Erwin with his face flushed and tears forming at the corner of his eyes from the sudden pressuring atmosphere that had built up between them. Erwin stepped back as he realized that he had mentally pushed the younger man into a corner that Eren didn't want to be in. With lips pressed against each other, Eren did his best to hold back the wetness threatening to spill over. Although, he could already tell that his now blurring vision was most definitely failing him. The blond could see the confliction within Eren, bubbling in the younger man, and knew that this was about as much as he could get tonight. With brows pushing against each other, Erwin let out a weak sigh. 

"Eren... I want to know. But if you're not ready then it's okay...," the blond spoke softly to the younger man as the Commander's right hand brushed lightly against Eren's cheek slightly.

The brunet immediately stiffened from the gesture, although he knew Erwin wasn't going to do anything to him. Realizing that his body was alarmingly disgusted by the situation, Eren felt anger suddenly boiling within his stomach. He hated himself for being afraid of Erwin. He hated himself for not being able to avoid the fact that-- yes. He could no longer see Erwin the same way anymore no matter how hard he tried.

Even though Eren had told himself that he would keep that untarnished image of the Commander within his memories and would honor it even after what had transpired between them, the brunet could no longer deny it. The Commander that Eren had kept at heart had changed. Although every single honorable and kind thing Erwin had done in the past was still there in the ex-shifter's memory, the fact that the older man had had the audacity to do what he had done that night had altered the world to Eren.

Suddenly regret began pooling at the bottom of the ex-shifter's dry throat.

Erwin had been drunk-- yes. But it had still been Erwin that had kissed him. It had still been Erwin that had pushed him down onto the floor and had ventured into parts of the brunet that were unknown to even Eren himself. Completely lost in the heavy thoughts plummeting his brain, without even realizing, Eren heard a voice shout out from the back of his consciousness echoing.

Why hadn't Levi killed him as promised to the court when the war had ended?

'Then this wouldn't have happened...,' concluded the brunet internally as he shut his eyes tightly, causing for the tears that had been building up to spill over his cheeks and trickle down to his chin. 

Erwin stood there watching the brunet's jaw clench tightly without a word as Eren began to sob quietly. The Commander had saw Eren tremble under his hands and flinch at his touch. Erwin could tell that the younger man was holding back the urge to just simply swat his hands away. It hurt the blond; the sudden denial of closeness that Eren had been fine with before. And it foretold to the older man that perhaps their future of comrade-ship could no longer be possible. Perhaps their friendship, that Erwin had thought would continue on even after the years of titan, could no longer exist. Perhaps, this was the end to Erwin and Eren's relationship beyond the military. Perhaps...

Perhaps this was what Erwin deserved for being so irresponsible.

As the Commander waited for Eren to calm down, the sudden question that had surfaced in the brunet's thoughts began blossoming within the subordinate. Levi had indeed promised to put him down, hadn't he? But Humanity's Strongest had never even gave him a scratch once the final battle had been won. Why hadn't he noticed before? Now looking back, the final conclusion to his life had completely taken a one eighty. Eren was still alive even though he had indeed had the thought that his life would end at the end of Humanity's war against the titans. And even though it had occurred to him that he had escaped death's doorstep, he had never had the thought to ask the two older men why they had helped spare his life. Was it because Erwin and Levi felt indebted to Eren, because he had helped them save Humanity? So this was their payment to him? By giving him a chance to live beyond the years of war?

Although it made sense to some degree, Eren suddenly realized that he couldn't accept it. No... He didn't want to accept it.

The investment that the two men had put into him had been an almost empty one. Eren had failed them on so many missions-- had killed so many soldier unnecessarily that the brunet could no longer defend himself from being called a monster. And although some part of the brunet was angered by the title that he had achieved, another part of him agreed that it most definitely suited him.

In all honesty though, the ex-shifter felt that he was the one who still owed the two men. He was the one that still needed to pay them back for what they had done for him. Why couldn't they see that? Why couldn't they understand that there was no reason to invest in the brunet any further when he didn't deserve it? Eren took in a deep breath calming his nerves as he pulled a hand up to wipe away at the tears that had stained his cheeks.

Even if Eren's determination was dented by the cost of his actions, he was not going to give up on this resolve in protecting the two older men; even if Erwin and the Captain rejected his resolution.

“Hey,” echoed a voice from behind the brunet suddenly knocking Eren out of his trance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 Preview:
> 
> The brunet squinted, his senses still somewhat adjusting to the lighting as he breathed harshly; each exhale echoing and bouncing off the stone walls.
> 
> “C-Captain Levi...?” croaked Eren, his voice coming out shaking and rather low.


	9. The First Mistake: Just Not Fast Enough

Levi could tell it was quite late as he strode up the narrow stairway to Erwin's office. The corridors were quite dark save the flickering of candles hanging off the metal cups screwed to the stone wall. It was relieving to know that the majority of the base was made out of cold gray rubble. The only rooms actually holding wood as architectural mediums were quarters of the higher ups. Everywhere else was stone, stone, and stone...

Well, thank humanity-- because Levi was sure that some damned new trainee would try to hitch a cigar in the back of a room in the middle of the night and probably not go through the correct procedures of turning the damn stick out correctly. The French soldier imagined a bunk going alight from neglected sparks that would eventually spur into a soldier's bonfire.

_Well, at least the flames would be contained within those thick stone barriers._

Levi was perhaps halfway up the stairs when he heard a faint echo from above him. Assuming that it was most likely someone conversing in the small corridor that lead to Erwin's office, as Levi grew closer to the end of the steps, the voices became clearer and clearer.

"...can't, Commander."

Levi almost couldn't recognize the weak voice that had rebounded down to his eardrums, sounding somewhat ragged. However as the man grew closer, the French soldier could tell that it was most definitely a certain brat speaking. The light that radiated from the small corridor was enough to tell him that he would soon be able to see the German male’s profile. Levi's steps slowed down as his senses sharpened a notch.

"Eren...," a baritone rebounded out softly—a side to Erwin’s voice that Levi hadn't heard in years, "I want to know. But if you're not ready then it's okay..."

At the recognition of the Commander's presence, Levi's steps had stilled completely. He was almost there. Almost. Just a few steps and then he would be right in the view of the two men. However, the French soldier’s progress towards his goal had immobilized as his brain started drumming up questions. Why in the world were Erwin and Eren having a conversation in the hallway? The Captain was quite confident that the older blond never spoke so openly exposed. Even with Humanity's strongest, Erwin had always made sure to converse in a fastened isolated room whether it be his office or the French man's own. Levi's vision rose to the steps above him that lead out of the dark stairwell.

Just as the French soldier raised the sole of one of his boots to continue moving, a quiet sob began to echo, reverberating to the man’s surprise. Was there a third person with Erwin and Eren up there? Levi couldn't imagine the Commander weeping with Eren as audience, so most likely it had to be either the brat or another soldier that was in their company crying. Noticing the fact that his progression up the stairs had come to a standstill, the Captain gave an irritated grunt at his hesitation to enter the scene. However, the raven head cast aside his doubts and took the initiative to complete the last few steps that would bring him closer to the sight that would answer his questions.

"Hey," Levi called out as he gripped the rectangular frame marking the entrance and exit of the stairwell.

From the French man’s standpoint, he could see the blond Commander hunched over, slightly hovering in front of Eren. There was no third persona, which meant that the damn brat was indeed crying. Why though, Levi didn't know. From what the Captain could tell from the little snippet he had heard as he had traveled up the steps, something couldn't be done apparently, to Erwin’s disappointment. And Eren was not willing to share details of whatever it was. The older blond looked up, letting his body lean away from Eren in a practiced casualness from having noticed Levi’s entrance. The French soldier pulled himself up from the last step and strode down the short hallway towards the two who had been conversing.

"Ah… Levi, I'm guessing you came to get Eren?" spoke the blond with an adept smile, "We were just about to be done."

"Good," muttered the Captain with his usual frown as he came to stand behind the lanky brunet, "Because I'm tired as hell, and I am not wasting any more time waiting for the brat to finish taking a shit. If you have nothing left to tell him, I'm taking him down with me."

Erwin gave a brief gesture at the statement, "Of course. I didn't mean to drag out your duty. Go ahead then, Eren. We'll finish this conversation later."

The brunet hadn't turned around to acknowledge Levi at all, but, instead, gave Erwin a light nod before shuffling his feet uncomfortably. He hesitantly turned around with his head deeply bowed not, allowing for the French soldier to make out Eren's face clearly.

"Is that how you greet your superior, Jaeger?" Levi snapped, although his words came out more bored than menacing.

However, Eren immediately fixed his posture at the sound of the Captain's voice. Erwin watched the brunet's back straighten, and his face tilt up with a practiced levelness.

"Sorry, sir," the German male answered after quickly clearing his throat.

Levi ignored Eren's presence and instead addressed the blond man again, "Aren't you going to pass out soon?"

Erwin gave out a slight chuckle, "Actually, I have to leave in a bit, Levi."

The Captain quirked a brow at the statement, "Leave? Court calling?"

The older man gave a firm nod, "Yes. I need to arrive by morning. I've already filled Hange in about the situation. You can take the lead though and make the schedule like usual."

"How long?"

"Probably a whole day. I'll be back by tomorrow night or the morning after. I'm not completely sure though."

Eren stood there idly between the two head soldiers, not sure on what to do as he tried to mentally dissipate into thin air. It was awkward enough that he had just finished crying, yet the two continued to act as if he wasn't even there at all.

"Alright then," Levi sighed as he turned away from the older blond, urging for Eren to follow, "I guess that'll be the plan for tomorrow then."

"Have a good night, you two," bid the Commander with a practiced smile.

"You too," Eren replied weakly as Levi strode down the hall way with the brunet tailing him.

The two disappeared into the darkness of the stairwell.

Erwin stood there, eyes lingering on the spot that Eren had been occupying a few minutes ago. Letting his eyes fall to his torso and then his hands, the blond turned around and entered his office with a sigh—

Utterly dissatisfied.

Eren strode after the Captain, his pacing matching the strides of the shorter man. They had reached the entrance to the basement where a small stairwell would lead to Eren’s cell. The two guards occupying the entrance straightened their posture to greet Humanity’s strongest. Levi came to a stop as he gestured for the brunet to go ahead and head down to his dungeon of a room. The brunet complied without much thought as Levi lingered behind to converse with the two guards briefly.

Eventually, the ex-shifter made it to his cell. Thinking to wait for the older man in case Levi needed to inform him of anything, Eren’s eyes began to droop rather quickly. With every passing second, Eren realized just tired he really was from the day. Not seeing Levi in sight, the brunet decided that it was best for him to go ahead and get ready for bed. Pushing the creaking cell door open with a light push of his hands, the ex-shifter dragged his feet to his bed, kicking off his shoes as his eyelids began to sag even more. Without even thinking, the brunet hit the bed with his back against the mattress and passed out, too worn mentally and physically to care that the Captain might have been seeking him out to speak to him.

It was perhaps half an hour before Levi actually made it down to Eren’s cell. The French man stood there with a deep frown on his face as his eyes swept over the half open cell door. The Captain’s chips of ice came to eventually land on a certain brunet that had passed out, with shoes thrown messily aside at the foot of the bed. The French soldier contemplated about waking up the brunet. However, the man decided against it when he considered the day’s circumstances. With Erwin seemingly testing the brunet’s emotional boundaries lately, Levi was sure that anything he said would most likely run into the soldier’s ear and out the other-- not to mention Eren was probably too tired to care at the moment. With a sigh, the Captain gave the subordinate’s lanky body, which was awkwardly positioned on bed, another glance as he was about to turn and make his exit.

However, upon surveying the subordinate’s profile from afar, Levi noticed how Eren’s shirt clung much too close to the younger man’s skin, having observed how the buttons looked like they were straining against the turn of the ex-shifter’s sleeping arrangement. Why in the hell had the brat not changed into better sleeping clothes? Eren was lying on his back awkwardly with his body shifted to one side of the bed, his left arm and leg hanging loosely off the mattress. The ex-shifter hadn’t even positioned himself correctly before passing out, seeing as only the tip of Eren’s head was actually making any contact with the stiff hard pillow wrinkled like a prune on the bed. The ex-shifter’s face angled towards his chest, his eyes shut and face expressionless. Levi bit his upper lip at the realization that Eren had taken the initiative to button the cursed polo all the way up to the junction where his chin tilted folding against the younger man’s neck. At this rate, Eren would probably choke in his sleep or die of a lack in oxygen.

With a grunt of annoyance, Levi walked towards the ex-shifter and leaned over the younger man as he reached out towards Eren’s nape, his fingers coming in contact with the white cotton layering the brunet’s tanned skin. The Captain gripped at the cloth right under the subordinate’s collar bones with a pinch and gave a light tug in an attempt to un-tuck the neck of the polo from under Eren’s tilted chin. But to the man’s disappointment, the stiff collars did not loosen themselves from between the brat’s bent neck. Clicking his tongue impatiently, Levi bent down lower pulling his other unoccupied hand up to work with as well. The French soldier’s rough fingers moved towards the brunet’s face, cupping one side of Eren’s cheek so as to tilt the subordinate’s head to the side. Eren stiffened slightly at the contact. However, Levi ignored it.

Digging two uncomfortable fingers into the tightly buttoned collars, Levi’s knuckles brushed against the skin of the brunet’s jawline. It was seriously too dark to make out anything. The Captain’s lips pressed together in annoyance at just how constricted the collars were against the damn brat’s neck. The French soldier was sure that Eren had always made sure to loosen at least a button or two when he trained, so why the sudden formality of pressing up every damn button? Perhaps he was trying to impress some damn female soldier with looking like an actual gentleman instead of a teenage boy still hitting puberty? With a sigh, Levi got back to work. He should have just told Eren to wake up and fix the collar himself. Too late now though since the Captain had already put in this much effort.

Sliding his fingers down from the flank of Eren’s neck to where the soldier’s chin met with his chest at an awkward angle, the Captain could feel the ex-shifter’s flesh, warm and soft against his fingers. Eren gave a soft grunt in response to the contact, but Levi was too concentrated to care at the moment. The French man used his other hand to pry the brunet’s chin up in order to gain access to the plastic holders, having been buried under the German male’s flesh. Levi couldn’t see clearly with the crappy lighting of the candles and so felt his way around Eren’s nape, making sure to be as subtle as possible so as not to hurt the soldier.

Feeling the jutting plastic buttons under his fingertips, Levi leaned in closer to the subordinate’s chest, towering over Eren’s sleeping figure, and began unbuttoning the first round pin at the very top of the younger man’s uncomfortably tight polo shirt. Once the first button was off, Eren released a soft whimper with face shifting back to the previously awkward position Levi had worked the ex-shifter out of. Taking notice of the soldier’s chin coming down on Eren’s chest again, Levi face turned to a scowl as he stabbed the ex-shifter’s innocent expression with his eyes. The older man reached a hand out towards the side of the brunet’s face again in order to tilt it to the side once more. But when his palm cupped the subordinate’s cheek this time, Eren’s eyes suddenly shot open.

The Captain expected the soldier to perhaps give a grunt of disapproval or question what the older man was doing. Perhaps even give a, for once, valid retort? But instead, the brunet immediately shoved himself up from the mattress forcing Levi to move away from the bed in reflex.

As the French soldier stumbled backwards in surprise, the ex-shifter scurried away from the edge of the bed where Levi had been standing a few seconds ago. Mindlessly not paying attention, Eren met the end of the other side of the mattress and fell backwards with a yelp. Levi steadied himself as he looked up to find that the ex-shifter was now on the cold stone floor sprawled out on the other side of the bedstead. However, the younger man quickly pulled himself up from the ground, his brown locks disheveled as he clung to the grey rubble wall for support. Eren flung himself around, facing the opposite side of the room. From the Captain’s standpoint, he could see Eren’s green eyes, almost glowing in the dark, erratically searching the cell with horror plastered on his face.

“Jaeger?” Levi called out to the younger soldier somewhat prudently as he tried not to scare the younger man any more than he already had.

The brunet squinted, senses still somewhat adjusting to the lighting, as he breathed harshly, each exhale echoing and bouncing off the stone walls.

“C-Captain Levi...?” croaked Eren, his voice coming out shaking and rather low.

As the realization that Humanity’s Strongest was in the cell with him, Eren’s shoulder sluggishly slumped to some degree in relief. However, the question that the Captain had anticipated had not been forgotten.

“What were you doing?” asked the brunet with eyes narrowing at the realization of their previous positions a few mere seconds ago.

The Captain gave a roll of his eyes at Eren’s accusing glare as he stepped forward, “Fixing the goddamn collar of your shirt, since some brat decided to strangle themselves in their sleep.”

Typically, Eren would have laughed it off and gotten up to fix his disheveled uniform or perhaps even give a small retort in response to the whole situation. But instead, Eren collapsed back on the floor where he had fallen earlier to Levi’s surprise once again. Leaning against the stone barrier, Eren released a shuddering sigh.

“Oh…,” spoke the younger man, more so to himself than Levi, “Oh… I… Uh… Of course! Yeah, that’s right… I mean, what?”

Levi stared at Eren, who had begun to shake with body trembling against the barrage, until finally a laugh broke from the brunet’s lips. The Captain gaped at the soldier incredulously, not sure if the ex-shifter was in his right mind anymore. The younger man’s laughter bounced around the two, perhaps, even echoing out to the entrance of the basement where the two guards on shift were sure to hear. However, the French soldier was too stunned to really care at the moment. Within a few minutes however, Eren’s laughter eventually died down to a soft chuckle.

“Sorry, Captain,” tittered Eren as the last waves of giggles passed through him, “I was just so… So um-- Relieved…! Ahahaha…“

Pulling himself from off the ground, the brunet shuffled towards his bed again much more alert now. Recalling that Levi had been attempting to fix his shirt, the ex-shifter unbuttoned a few more of the plastic holders at his neck before flinging himself back onto his messy bed.

Levi breathed, relieved that the brunet wasn’t as upset as he had suspected, “It’s alright. I didn’t mean to shock you, Jaeger. Although, lovely awakening ritual, shitty brat.”

Eren was lying on his stomach as he turned his head to face the Captain who was still standing a good distance from him.

With a pouting expression at the older man's statement, Eren blinked a few times before muttering to himself, “I’m so freak’n glad it was just you…”

Although perhaps the Captain knew he wasn’t really supposed to respond to the statement, Levi rolled his eyes as he pressed, “Who else did you expect it to be? Hm? A titan?”

Eren looked up at the Captain through half lidded eyes as he respired softly, not answering. The French soldier waited for a response. But when he recognized the sound of steadied breaths, he looked down at the brunet to find that Eren-- once again-- was dead asleep. Levi stood there for a moments, taking in the image of Eren sprawled messily in sleep. The older man’s lips pressed together in a firm line as his brows pushed against each other.

“Brat…,” muttered Levi quietly.

With a pinch to the bridge of the older man’s nose, Humanity's Strongest turned away from Eren and walked out of the brunet’s cell.

Levi would be sure to seek out Eren tomorrow for questioning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 Preview:
> 
> "So you're trying to tell me, Jaeger has been lying through his teeth?" Levi inquired with brows knitting against each other in irritation.


	10. The First Mistake: Just What If

Eren woke up groggy and tired as ever. The brunet couldn't tell if it was morning, but he knew he felt utterly disgusting. The sensation of sweat mixed with dirt and grime made the soldier sit up off his bed instinctively. Brushing his messy hair into an even bigger mop of a mess, the ex-shifter found that his memory was fuzzy. However, as he shuffled off the cluttered cotton sheets that were beginning to sag from the side of the mattress, the brunet's mind began to clear up.

_"Who else did you think it was? Titans?"_

The voice echoed in the German male's memory as he attempted to fix his bed lazily. The thought of Levi being there last night, instead of someone else, was comforting to Eren's surprise. Funny—seeing as Humanity's Strongest was the single person who wouldn't hesitate to kick him in the face. The soldier had almost forgotten that the French man was his keeper in truth.

"Ugh... What a pain...," grumbled Eren as he rubbed his face to clear his eyes.

Giving his small mattress one final tug at the corner to rid of wrinkles, the ex-shifter trudged to his bin of clothes and pulled out a pair of spare pants and shirt. Eren needed a shower for real, because all he could feel right now was filth encasing his body.

* * *

 Hange flipped another page over, making sure not to crease it too much as her eyes skimmed through the rather messy text that someone had scrawled with their own hands.

"Interesting, eh?" came a boyish voice from her side.

The female eccentric looked up, cranking her neck to get a better view of the bobbed blond that was with her, "Most definitely! I can't believe you actually found these though—must have taken you forever."

"Not really," chuckled Armin happily as he tugged a strand of his blond locks away from a rosy cheek.

The two were quiet save the rustling of paper as each individual continued to pull stacks of material off the wooden shelves that they often shared now a days.

"Um…," started Armin.

Hange quirked a brow adjusting her glasses, "Yes?"

The younger soldier looked up hesitantly from the book in his hand, "I was thinking…"

"Thinking?"

The big grin plastered on Hange's face reassured the bob head that anything he said wouldn't travel out of the room.

"Have you ever had injuries from tree branches before?"

The scientist's brows scrunched together at the rather arbitrary question, "Tree branches? Like scratches and cuts? Or scrapes, because I've had plenty of those when I started out landing…"

"N-no! I mean like…," Armin looked down at his hands nervously, "Like on your neck, down to your collar bone."

Hange leaned over onto the wooden desk, cupping her cheeks with the cradle of her palms, "Neck… That's pretty weird. I've seen light scratches on soldier's cheeks, but the neck is very rare. Like—how in the world was your timing so bad you got swapped in the neck?"

"It's not me, Squad Leader! I—um… I was just wondering. Like if you had bruises on your neck and stuff—how would you go about getting them from training."

The eccentric's eyes looked distant, deep in thought, until suddenly they widened at the soldier's statement incredulously, "Armin…"

"Hm?" urged the blond politely.

"Four eyes!"

The two turned around to face the entrance of the room at the sound of Levi's voice, both of them having been caught off guard by the sudden shout. However upon realizing who it was, Hange's lips slowly curved into a mischievous smile.

"Aha! Captain~~! I can't believe you missed me so much that you actually came to say good morning for once!" shouted the female eccentric, catching sight of the French soldier leaning passed her door frame with a deep frown on his face.

"Save that shit for dinner," snorted Levi as he entered the quarter that would have fit around twenty people had Hange actually cleaned it. However, presently three could hardly even walk in without having to give out a few pardons to each other.

"Erwin told me he informed you of his leave. Did he take his papers with him?"

"Huh? You mean the ones he usually signs off for you? Yeah, he completed them and everything. Got them bundled up and even finished it off with a pink ribbon and seal."

Levi released a small sigh, "Good."

"Gracious, Levi. You sound like a mother hen! Don't you have any faith in Erwin at all?" laughed the eccentric while adjusting her glasses, "He's been doing this for years. I'm sure he'd get it right the umpteenth time!"

The French soldier merely gave the scientist a roll of his eyes, "Just had to make sure. He fell behind because of the celebrations."

"Pf! Didn't we all?" grinned Hange as she shuffled the notes in front of her about as if looking for something.

Armin stood there tense as he slowly crept into the conversation, "Captain…?"

The shorter of the three's eyes came to fall on the blond instantly at the addressing, "Yes, Arlert?"

"May I talk to you for a bit?" Armin asked with a nervous scratch to his head.

Levi glanced back to Hange who seemed completely submerged in trying to figure out something before he gave a nod, turning around and motioning for the soldier to follow him out of the room.

* * *

 Eren entered the empty washroom.

There wasn't a single person in sight, thank goodness. The brunet had made sure to check the time just to ensure that the majority of the soldiers were already in the kitchen occupied with breakfast, because he seriously didn't want to run into anyone seeing him naked with the state his body was in right now. Placing his bundle of goods down in a safe corner away from the shower, the ex-shifter began stripping himself out of the uncomfortable clothes that stuck to him like thin elongated slugs.

It was seriously disgusting that he had sweat so much in his sleep.

Eren turned on the water with a quick flick of the wrist, waiting for it to heat up to some degree before actually taking a step into the rather cool liquid spray. The showers were usually even icier than this—especially in the winter. Sometimes when the temperature was low enough, the headquarter pipes would freeze, and the Legion scouts would find themselves unable to even turn on the faucet. That was when troops had to resort to melting snow and ice sheets from outside the camp grounds. It was tedious and tiring work.

Taking out a small soap bar that the soldier had been given not too long ago by Armin, who advised him to stay clean for the sake of his health, the ex-shifter began humming to himself as he lathered his grime covered skin with the cheap sanitizing stick.

The brunet had actually had some trouble getting out of the basement when he had made the decision to clean himself of yesterday's training. The guards had been hesitant to let him leave, since the Captain had apparently told them to keep the brunet in the cell until Levi arrived to fetch the German male. Of course, the brunet was way too impatient and couldn't stand sitting around stuck in the cell with his body itching from sweat and dirt anymore. And so, Eren had lied to them that he knew that the French soldier was coming to get him soon, and he had been instructed the night before to shower in the morning when he woke up so as to be more presentable to Humanity's Strongest. The guards were instantly convinced, since almost everyone in the base knew about Levi's clean streak. Relieved that the two guards had bought his story, the ex-shifter had made a 'casual' run for the shower stalls.

If Levi was planning to come get him when he woke up, then Eren had to hurry or he might miss out on the Captain. And the brunet knew how punctuated the French soldier was… Hopefully Levi wouldn't be too harsh on him, although Eren subconsciously told himself that the older male wouldn't be holding back any time soon when it came to the brunet's mistakes. Most likely the French man was going to address Eren about his slip ups in Hange's experiment.

Eren had expected this.

Over the past ten years that the ex-shifter had spent in the Survey Corps, the French soldier had never stepped beyond being his Captain. Attempting to address Levi as 'friend' was really pushing it at times although the brunet did get some pretty personal advice from the man. Erwin seemed to fall under the same category now that the brunet thought about it. However, the brunet felt that the older blond had always been more approachable compared to Humanity's Strongest.

Eren put down the bar of soap as he scrubbed his head with water, carefully washing away the suds on his body. His abdomen and chest still ached to some degree. The brunet looked down at his waist taking note of the purple bruises discoloring his skin. He hadn't yet healed completely from the welts that he had gotten from the Commander.

_It's only been three days… Of course they aren't going to fade away quickly…_

Eren internally barked to himself with a frown.

The brunet could have sworn that Erwin hadn't really put that much force. But seeing as he had been too concentrated on escaping that night, Eren wasn't completely one hundred percent sure about just how rough Erwin had gotten. Now thinking back, the ex-shifter faintly recalled quite a lot of pressure on his waist, not to mention all the ki-

Eren gave out a low growl suddenly.

The German male took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He didn't want to get injured again. The brunet glanced silently down at his hand that was now scarred from a certain event with a mirror. Eren could see each razor like cut that he wore on his knuckles. The skin had closed luckily, but the soldier could still feel the throbbing sensation from the pain beneath the mending skin. He didn't want to break the progress of the restoration his hand had been able to manage thanks to Armin's outstanding medical skills.

His body was already wounded enough right now as it was.

Letting out a quiet exhale, Eren studied his injured hand carefully as the brunet let cool water trickle down his back. Eren had been lucky that the group had been asked to wear some type of glove for Hange's experiment since they would be handling animals. No one had taken notice of the soldier's injured knuckles, fortunately. And even during the meeting, Eren had made sure to conceal his injured hand in the pocket of his pants.

Although the brunet was aware that Connie, Sasha, and Jean had witnessed his bandaged limb, Eren was confident they wouldn't spread word about it. Last time Eren got a mere scratch on his cheek from falling flat on his face onto a sharp rock, and rumors had gone around saying that the brunet had rebelled against his higher ups again. However, Levi and Erwin had gotten so soft they only gave him (literally) a scratch to his pretty little face. At the time, when the ex-shifter had heard the rumor, he had laughed it off. However, as a few days passed, many soldiers came to believe that Levi and Erwin had indeed grown way too lenient. Eren swore that during that time the Captain looked like he was going to kill more than just titans. However, to everyone's surprise Erwin stood up to the spreading lies and corrected anyone who tried to imply the rumor to be true.

The German male turned off the faucet slowly as he carefully stepped away from the shower stall and went to get his towel.

It seemed so long ago that he had been standing next to Levi and Erwin in the battlefield…

* * *

 "So you're trying to tell me, Jaeger has been lying through his teeth?" Levi inquired, with brows knitting against each other in irritation.

Armin's face turned to an expression of unease as he continued in a rush, "Yesterday I was checking on everyone's gear with Hange, and none of them were damaged or misplaced. Eren told me that he had been training. Although I'm not sure where-"

"Outside of campus grounds. He told me."

"Alright then, sir. Outside of cam- Wait! What?" stuttered Armin, skeptical.

Levi gave a sigh before giving the younger soldier an impatient grunt signaling for him to continue.

"A-alright then… Well, Mikasa told you about Eren's wounds on his 'jaw', right?" the blond probed, just to make sure he was on the right track.

The Captain gave a curt nod as a response. It sufficed.

"I… I had actually wanted her to not know about that, because well… You know Mikasa. She worries too much, but she took notice of Eren anyway," Armin bit his upper lip pausing briefly in thought, "It get's worse as you go down though."

"As you go down?" questioned the French soldier, his brows rising slightly at the statement.

"Eren's neck that is, sir. But back to what I had been saying earlier— From what we've all been told, this is Eren's alibi. That night after the Legion celebrations, Eren supposedly went out to train outside of campus grounds as you've said, sir. He returned with wounds on his 'jaw,' or more accurately, neck, which I witnessed that afternoon after the night of the party myself. Eren told me he had gotten it from tree branches…. However, I don't believe him. The wounds are too blotchy and imprecise to be tree branches, sir. In addition, it's not possible to get wounds from tree branches for Eren in these circumstances."

"Because like you said, you checked through the squad's gear yesterday morning before four eyes' experiment, and no one's gear had been in use," Levi concluded aloud.

"Yes, sir," Armin agreed with a firm nod, "How could you get injured by tree branches if you weren't even at the elevation passed the trunk?"

"Unless the brat decided to dash through a grove of bushes…," Levi grumbled to himself half serious.

However, the bobbed blond was too deep in thought and shot down the purposal, "Not possible, sir. Eren's whole body would have been littered with scratches then."

"So to make things simple, Eren lied," the Captain spoke decisively, his beady eyes falling to the ground.

What was this?

This sense of dread spreading throughout the French man's chest?

Perhaps disappointment?

"Yes, sir. That is my conclusion. However, that would mean that Eren is hiding something from us which could possibly lead to—"

"The reason why he's afraid of people touching him."

The bob head gave a nod, his big blue eyes trembling slightly. The blond's stature was stiff, and his lips pressed against each other as if he was trying to withhold something.

"What is it, Arlert?" questioned the older man, deciding to address Armin's apprehension.

The younger soldier blinked relieving himself with an exhale, "I… I'm afraid."

Levi stood there, awaiting his subordinate to continue on patiently.

"I- I mean… Eren's my friend, sir. He's very precious to me—more so like more so than anything. I know you already understand that since we've been under your care for a decade already. However, you are our Captain, sir. You are his keeper, sir. You are Humanity's Strongest after all, sir."

Levi's eyes narrowed slightly at how the blond was emphasizing the older man's status.

Yes, he was certainly their Captain. Indeed—he was Eren's keeper.

_What of it?_

"I don't mean to be rude, Captain Levi. However, in typical circumstances I would have never turned to you. It's not a lack in trust… It's just that I know what you're capable of with Eren," Armin spoke softly, as if touching such a subject was forbidden.

However, the blond felt that he needed the older man to understand his thoughts thoroughly if the subordinate was going to try and cooperate with the Captain in order to help Eren.

"You are merciless although not heartless. However, I know you wouldn't stop yourself if court decisions were made. But because I'm desperate… Because I can't seem to get near Eren, even with Mikasa at my side, I've resorted to you, sir. However, I can't stop myself from doubting my decision."

"You're worried that if we find out the truth and it's something that could get the brat in trouble, I'll break his limbs."

Armin was trembling slightly as he gave a rigid nod, his eyes glistening from excess moisture. The blond was beyond worried. He was purely upset. What if by attempting to help Eren, Armin exposed information about his friend to the Captain and lead the brunet to a brutal suffering? What if what they found out, indeed, made Eren fall in the wrong? Would the punishment be as harsh as the scene in court? Would the brunet be battered and bruised with blood running from his nose? Would they just upright kill Eren on the spot?

It would depend on the offense, Armin hoped.

_This is all a gamble._

Last night after Mikasa and him had let the cat out of the bag to the Captain, the blond had felt somewhat relieved. However, upon returning to his bed to catch some shut eye, his mind had begun to wander about and eventually lingered on the topic of Eren. The German male was stubborn and ruthless. If he found something he wanted, Eren wouldn't give up no matter the circumstance-- even if he ended up dead because of it.

_What in the hell was Eren thinking right now?_

Armin screamed internally with eyes wide in panic and brows creasing against each other in front of Levi. If Eren made a single slip, the court could kill him. They could toss him aside like a dead animal. Humanity could care less at this rate. The war was over! Eren wasn't of any use anymore to them! It was purely luck that the younger blond had even been able to help Erwin devise a plan to stop the head Marshalls from beheading Annie and the others.

Disappearing in the middle of the night without returning to his required chamber? Skipping out on experiments by Hange, as Mikasa had informed him? The only damn excuse that kept him alive right now, too! Not to mention, lying to the Humanity's Strongest? And now, failing to cooperate with his teammates on the field…

Everything was simply adding up to one thing.

Eren was drawing near the line of useless and rebellious right now. The one single evidence the court needed to simply hear of from a random stranger and declare the brunet's death sentence. If anyone besides Eren's friends caught the brunet's slips, the ex-shifter was sure to be put under the damn court scoundrel's judgment again. And this time, the blond's friend was more than likely to die at their hands than not. This thought had made the bob head restless, unable to stop worrying.

"I didn't realize…" Levi started suddenly, his voice somewhat unobtrusive, "That you saw me in that way, Arlert."

The bob head blinked at the statement, "S-sir?"

"That brat can't heal anymore, you know that."

"Yes, I do, sir."

A frown began to crawl over the Captain's face, "I've been avoiding hurting him physically ever since the end of the war with the titans. Even now. I'm not that ignorant. I want him dead as much as you, Arlert."

Armin raised a hand up to wipe at his eyes, inhaling and exhaling in order to calm down his erratically drumming heart. Armin didn't want Eren dead. So did that mean that Levi cared for Eren too? The blond looked down nervously at his feet brushing against one another as he contemplated on his next question.

Gathering his wits, Armin questioned the older man, "Are you trying to say that Eren is to you as he is to me, Captain?"

There was a drawn out silence as the younger soldier awaited an answer. However, Armin knew that Levi wasn't obligated to respond to his, perhaps, too boldly stated question. If the Captain answered yes, then its implications could mean that Humanity's Strongest cared for the brunet more so than just as another soldier—more so than just as a weapon…

"I care for all my soldiers."

The blond glanced up at the Captain to find that the French soldier's eyes were also trained on the ground rather than at the bob head to his surprise.

Of course…

What had Armin expected?

Levi had always been rather too distant of a sorts in everyone's eyes. He wasn't cold. No. He just seemed to have boundaries that no one could really break down. Not that anyone dared to anyway…

Armin's lids drooped slightly as his mind reeled through the thoughts that had ran loose in his mind from last night. Time means nothing when pertaining to relationships. You could be in the same room with another stranger for three months, but only actually put in effort to talk to them for perhaps three hours in total throughout the whole time. Levi was a higher up after all. He didn't have time to spend conversing and memorizing personal details of people lower than him in the military.

Even though Eren had been Humanity's Hope, it didn't change the fact that the blond's childhood friend was still seen as a monster. Proven to be useful to Humanity or not, it didn't alter the possibility Eren and the others could turn heads any moment. Caring for something that looked that vile to the court would be in itself offensive in the “public eye.” If the head Marshalls heard that Humanity's Strongest or the legendary blond Commander had a soft spot for Eren, things would perhaps quickly turn to an all-out court ruling again.

What a disgusting world we lived in…

The bob head bitterly scowled at the ground.

_What a cruel and utterly appalling world…._

_Whether you saved the Humanity or destroyed it, it would never change your credibility._

And Eren had saved it too…

Armin glanced back up at the French soldier, whose head was tilted to the side inquiring the younger man with a flicker of his lids.

"Just what if though… What if, through all of this effort, I find out that Eren is indeed doing something terrible? Or—has done something horrible? I trust him that he wouldn't do it. Like, I have so much faith in him that it wouldn't even cross my mind he'd do something cruel or just… offish and appalling. But just what if it just so happens to be that he did?"

Levi's line of vision fell on Armin again, this time the older man's beady orbs growing soft. The two stood there in silence, leaving the drawn out emptiness to fill in the lack of conversation between them comfortably. Armin was fine with letting his question dangle in the air, unanswered, as he stared at the French soldier before him.

Levi was in deep thought, perhaps thinking about the possibility if he were in the same situation.

_Perhaps, recalling of a good friend of his own…?_

Armin let a soft smile graze his lips at the thought.

_Whoever that may be…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12 Preview:
> 
> "C- Captain Levi!" stuttered one of the guards nervously.
> 
> "Tell Jaeger to come up."


	11. The Second Mistake: Lies All Lies

Fixing his cravat, the French man began stretching his strides so as to quicken his pace. His mind had been running in circles, trying to catch some sort of anchorage pertaining to the wild scenarios running through his head.

Missing on the night of the celebrations…

Lying to Humanity's Strongest…

Haphephobia…

Failing to cooperate with team mates that he's been with for more than a decade…

Many different situations flew about in Levi's imagination. Bruises on the jaw down to the neck— something that didn't happen often. You either had your neck broken, or your head chomped clean off. There was no in between— at least when it came to titans. But the Titans were extinct. Not to mention it had been night time. So that would mean that someone human would have had to attack the damn brat on the night of the celebrations.

Levi's strides grew quicker at the thought.

That would explain why he went missing and didn't return. But why had Eren lied then? Wouldn't he have reported the incident to Erwin or Levi? Or perhaps even confided to one of his friends at some point? However, the stupid German male hadn't. That meant that most likely two possible things could have occurred. One: Eren had been threatened to shut his mouth, or two: the damn brat had been so ashamed of losing to the person or persons that he didn't want others to know of the scuffle.

_Wounds on the neck…_

There were many ways the ex-shifter could have gotten them, now that Levi was thinking about physical brawls. An attempt at strangling was the most likely cause for bruises though, from Armin and Mikasa's description.

_Blotchy, he had said._

But who in the world would want Eren dead right now besides the damn court scoundrels? Perhaps an assassin was sent? Levi felt that was a bit too skeptical at the moment however, because the damn government was still too busy with land distribution and the discovering of resources to bother addressing the ex-shifters at the moment. But of course, Levi knew that once the gold rush was over, things would perhaps become quite harsh for the Legion scouts no doubt…

Pulling his thoughts back together, Levi let his mind drift back to the topic of the military. Well, there could have been shitty trainees who wanted to mark their territory or something. If that were so, then perhaps the scenario would run with the German male losing from being outnumbered and getting wacked like a punching bag. Then Eren would have definitely wanted to keep the whole situation a secret. Whoever had tried to trample the brunet had at least taken the time to not bruise the brat's face which would insinuate that the person or persons (again) assaulted the soldier under the pretense that their little scuffle would be only between them and the brat.

But wasn't Eren old enough to not pick fights with people lesser than him now?

Then came the thought of alcohol.

_Damn it all…_

Humanity's Strongest wasn't paid to figure out his subordinate's damn drama seeking life.

Either way, the shitty brat had lied to the Captain and gotten away with it. Levi's brows shoved against each other at the thought. The older man had always read Eren like an open book. But it seems that he hadn't noticed anything off because of the fact that it had seemed so insignificant when Levi had confronted the soldier. Now realizing just how blind he had been, the French man turned the corner stomping a little more than necessary as he made it to the entrance of the basement.

"Captain Levi!" stuttered one of the guards nervously.

"Tell Jaeger to come up."

The two men gave each other knowing glances before responding to the military veteran, "Eren Jaeger requested that he be given the opportunity to shower at your request, sir. He left for the bathroom chamber not too long ago."

"What?" snapped Levi edgily.

The Captain had just discovered that the damn brat had lied to him, and now Eren was deceiving the damn guards as well? The brunet was seriously building quite a resume…

"Is there something wrong? Was Eren Jaeger not supposed to leave his cell?" the taller of the two guards asked warily.

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose closing his eyes in irritation, "Don't worry about it, soldier."

_Damn it..._

Levi couldn't go shaming the damn brat because word could get around.

"I'll go fetch him. Next time though—I don't care if he needs to take a shit or if he's going to piss his pants—tell him he can't leave his chamber even if he says I let him. Got that, soldiers?"

The two guards gave a rigid salute, "Yes sir!"

* * *

Eren dried his legs bending over to make sure that the area from his knee down was rid of water. He hated being wet while putting on his clothes. The friction full sensation of his uniform fighting to glide over his skin was frustrating to him. Finally satisfied with his efforts, the brunet reached to the bundle of clothes he had brought along with him. Unraveling the somewhat wrinkled fabric, Eren plucked his underwear and khaki pants from the pile and slid them on. The brunet looked in the mirror gazing at his profile as he took a grip of the white uniform shirt he had taken from his cell. Eren gave a quick glance at the material which was thinned out from years of being worn on the battle field.

The German male leaned over the sink counter, trying to get a good look at his brown locks. People have always said that Eren wasn't meticulous. But when it came down to it, the split dividing his brown locks littering his scalp was the single thing in the world the ex-shifter felt that he had to get right.

It was a habit that the brunet would never be able to get rid of… His mother had always done it for him when he was young. Eren breathed out a weak sigh from the thought of his parents. There wasn't any use in moping over the past.

Once the German soldier's hair was in place, Eren leaned off the marble counter to fix the buttons on his chest.

"Hey, shitty brat."

The ex-shifter jumped at the voice and spun around as if he were doing a double axil on ice, "Y- YES?!"

"I didn't tell you that you could shower."

Both of Eren's arms were spread out on both sides clinging to the sink for support from when he had flung around to face the entrance of the chamber. Levi had already entered the room, shutting the door behind him. The French soldier was careful so as to not slide on the stone flooring, somewhat slippery thanks to water having been sprayed everywhere. Levi stared at the younger man, his beady eyes boring into Eren's own green orbs.

_Oh… Right._

The German male was supposed to be in a hurry in order to make sure that he would make it back to the chamber before the Captain got there. However, the ex-shifter had been so deep in thought that he had completely forgotten about what the guards had told him. For sure, Levi would have heard from the two men of Eren's petty excuse and realized that the brunet had lied.

"I'm sorry, Captain Levi," Eren spoke quite calmly despite the apprehension pooling in him from the older man's presence, "I know that I wasn't supposed to leave my chamber but I seriously needed to take a shower, sir."

The Captain gave a click of his tongue in annoyance, "You've been lying more and more lately. I'm disappointed."

Eren's throat suddenly felt dry at the statement.

Humanity's Strongest was disappointed.

Levi was disappointed.

Disappointed by Eren.

The brunet didn't look away from the older man but instead continued to stare straight at the French soldier apologetically, "I'm sorry, sir."

Eren's words resonated in the bathroom, bouncing from stone barrier to barrier and eventually dying out after a second or two. Levi let his eyes drift from Eren's own, trailing down the German male's face. Last night when the French soldier had been attempting to loosen Eren's uniform collar so as to make sure the damn brat wouldn't choke in his sleep, the Captain hadn't noticed anything thanks to the damn shitty lighting. But now with a full blown window on two sides of the room letting the light of the day cascade into the chamber reflecting off the millions of water droplets tainting the bathroom wall, Levi could see clearly without a doubt. The brunet continued to watch the French soldier attempting to conceal the tenseness digging at his insides. However, the Captain didn't say anything more as he sustained standing there with beady eyes boring into the younger male.

Eren must have been in the middle of dressing when the French soldier had entered the chamber seeing as the brunet's collars were wide open with a few buttons still unclipped. The older male's eyes trailed down Eren's fleshy cheeks and then to the subordinate's even jaw until finally his vision came to linger on the side of brunet's nape.

There it was.

The wound that Armin and Mikasa had been so worried about.

But it wasn't what Levi had expected.

It wasn't a typical ring that would have been caused by the shape of a thumb and index finger pressing down on flesh. It wasn't the shape of a fist landing on the younger man's wind pipe or the grazing from the side of a sharp object on Eren's skin. And it was most definitely not the whipping marks of tree branches scrawling against Eren's collar bones.

Eren watched Levi with careful eyes as the older man approached him slowly, the French soldier's face expressionless save the dangerous glint in his dark round orbs. Eren had lied before on different occasions, although that had been perhaps seven or so years ago when he had been younger. The ex-shifter had seldom told Humanity's Strongest any more deceitful snippets, but it seemed the past few days had changed all of that. Perhaps the Captain was going to make him clean out the horse bins for his childish behavior.

"You needed to talk to me, right Captain? I'm guessing about Hange's experiment?" spoke Eren attempting to hit the topic of their conversation as quickly as possible.

No need to stall when he knew what was going to come at him.

Levi's eyes weren't on Eren's face though as he responded to the soldier, "No."

"Oh… Urm…," Eren followed Levi's line of vision cautiously, surprised by the sudden decline of topic, and tried to make out just what the older man was staring at so intently.

Realizing that Levi's eyes were concentrating down at his chest, the ex-shifter did his best to casually turned around towards the mirror and reach up to fix the collar of his shirt, having realized that his neck was a bit too exposed. Had Levi taken notice of his neck? The brunet prayed internally that perhaps Levi had been staring at how wrinkly his shirt was or how the brunet had rolled up his sleeves instead of letting them trail down to his wrists. The French soldier was perhaps a meter or two away from him still so perhaps he could still play it off?

"Stop."

Eren froze at the order, staring down at the sink before him as the hand that he had been using to straighten out the bridge of his shirt came to grip the polo's neckline consciously.

"Sir?" Eren questioned feigning a smile on his face as he turned around with his hand still fisted at the front of his turtleneck.

"How did you get that?"

"Get what, sir?" attempted the brunet trying to dodge the subject by letting his eyes trail down to his feet.

"Brat, don't play dumb. You know what I'm talking about," Levi's voice came out steelier than usual.

Eren could feel his vein beginning to throb at the base of his neck. The soldier had to make up ANOTHER lie now or he'd be screwed over. What had he told Armin again? Trees? Tree branches? Eren's jaw clenched uneasily as he took in a breath.

"Tree branches. I was train—"

"FUCKING LIES…" growled Levi abruptly.

Eren stood there with eyes glued to the stone floor as the fist he had created tightened on the collar of his shirt.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

"Take it off," spoke Levi— his voice quiet but commanding.

A strange contrast from the tone earlier…

The brunet didn't answer though. Instead the German male continued to stare at the dull flooring as if it were the most interesting specimen in the world.

"Brat, move your hand," Levi repeated, this time his voice coming out much more threatening.

"No," the brunet responded almost in a whisper not really sure if he should be countering the order.

Suddenly the sound of water dripping from the faucet was louder than anything Eren had ever heard. Even the chirping of birds outside seemed to blend together and resemble the straining buzz of cicadas. Levi's brows crinkled, his shoulders straightening at the challenge of authority.

"Take it off."

"No," Eren stated firmly this time.

If Eren was going to defy things, might as well give his--

"TAKE IT OFF, EREN!" snarled Levi suddenly as the older man's body flew forward, catching Eren off guard.

Levi's hand flung towards the subordinate's chest, ripping the brunet's wrist away from the front of his white polo shirt. With an audible slap of flesh against wet marble, Levi pinned the soldier's hand down to the top of the smooth stone sink. The ex-shifter's green orbs widened at the sudden action as his body leaned back, away from Humanity's Strongest. Eren's face was in utter shock at how loud Levi's voice had sounded, cutting through the air and still echoing off the walls of the bathroom in reverb.

There was a clear pause as the older man inspected the brunet's wounds close up, the bridge of the French soldier's nose a mere finger length from the smooth surface of the ex-shifter's skin.

Eren would have flung the older man's firm grip off of his wrist if only Levi hadn't just snapped so fiercely just moments ago. Unfortunately, the fear of what Humanity's Strongest would do to his bones was much more frightening to the younger man than the swelling sensation of repulsion building at the bottom of his stomach. Although Eren was able to withhold himself from escaping from being restrained by Levi, the German male could not stop his body from trembling slightly in reaction to the position he was in. Levi didn't move an inch as he spoke, the older man's warm puffs of breath fluttering across the bruises on the subordinate's nape.

"So… You had your first run in with a lover drunk off your ass, I suppose?"

Eren wasn't sure how to answer Levi's question, his mind still reeling about in panic. Would Levi stop his probing if he answered yes? If so, then Eren would have loved to just give the older man a quick nod to finish this whole conversation. However, what if the French man was just baiting him? That would mean he'd fall right into the Captain's trap and be discovered of uttering another lie. As the subordinate tried to come to a final decision on just what were the right words to say, the Captain let his line of vision trail down the hickeys that littered Eren's skin, thoroughly inspecting each marking that pierced the soldier's flesh.

'Whoever made these did a damn fine job,' thought Humanity's Strongest bitterly.

So this was what Eren had been hiding.

That the brunet had perhaps finally gotten laid in the midst of the damn Legion scouts partying night. Because of some god damn girl that the German male had been attempting to woo for perhaps the past few years, the shitty brat had been so occupied with his love life that he had forgotten to return to his chamber. What in the hell had the great Humanity’s Strongest been doing these past few nights? Levi couldn't believe how much time he had invested in this whole situation just to come to such a petty and ridiculous conclusion.

Tilting his head away from the ex-shifter's nape slowly as his eyes continued to trail down the contour of the bruised mouthful marks that seemed to paint the brunet's skin almost too deliberately, the Captain was about to let the younger man go. However, the French soldier's mind still had one question unanswered.

Fear of touch.

"Don't tell me… Your lack of physical cooperation with your team mates was because of thi…" began the older man, but the words died on the tip of his tongue when the French soldier realized that the love bites Eren had spun down well passed the bridge of the soldier's collar bone.

Each and every wound became more and more raw and violent until finally white cotton cut off Levi's following eyes on the string of blotches coloring the subordinate's flesh. The older man moved away from the brunet, allowing for Eren's wrist to be freed momentarily.

"Get up, Eren," Levi commanded abruptly with inquiring eyes.

The brunet slowly pushed himself up off the sink counter relieved to have some distance between himself and Humanity's Strongest.

"S-sir…?"

Eren looked up ruefully weak, not sure what he should do exactly as he felt the pressuring gaze of his Captain on him, unyielding. Levi tilted his head to the side, his arms coming to cross against each other.

With an expressionless face, Humanity's strongest uttered a single word.

"Strip."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12 Preview: 
> 
> Levi crouched down towards Eren so that his lips were but an inch from the back of the ex-shifter’s head.
> 
> "Enlighten me, because even the blind and deaf would be able to tell that you're a rattle snake with no venom."


	12. The Second Mistake: Gambling With No Chips

“That was quite the show you put on,” laughed the bald grizzly old man.

Erwin smiled politely at the gesture although he seriously didn’t feel like he deserved any more compliments, “No, Pixis. It was necessary.”

“Ha! Necessary he says! Well, Humanity does owe a great deal to the boy,” grinned the bald military veteran with eyes crinkling, “I can’t believe I’ve made it this far in life actually. Thought I’d die before the last wall was torn down!”

The blond Commander couldn’t hold back the low chuckle that escaped his lips as he leaned on the edge of his seat in order to call on the bartender for another order of drinks.

“The same again, please,” Erwin asked politely to the gentlemen on the other side of the counter.

The worker gave a quick nod to the blond before turning back around in order to pour the requested beverage.

“Oho! That’s going to be your third, Commander! Watch out for yourself or you won’t be able to walk back to your lodging later,” advised Pixis with a shake of his head.

“I’ll be fine, sir,” reassured Erwin with a light smile.

Pixis leaned on the smooth walnut counter and tilted his drink, inspecting the glass cup.“Pf! That’s what all youngsters say until they hit rock bottom. Remember way back when we’d just hit the booze like there was no tomorrow cause we thought—Hell? We’re gonna die anyway? A bad liver was the least of our worries then. I could handle the damn newbs that passed out after a drink or two. But you, Commander...”

The bald military veteran clicked his tongue together, “I never knew what to make of you when you went overboard.”

The bartender returned to Erwin with the ordered drink. Erwin gave a curt thank you to the gentlemen before taking a sip from the cup and quirking a brow at the older man sitting next to him, “What do you mean?”

“That’s exactly what I mean, you young fool!” scolded Pixis with a frown blatantly plastered on his face, “Don’t even remember? Lovely. My grandma had the same issue before she passed away.”

The blond Commander was taken aback by the stark comparison, “I become like your grandmother?”

Pixis gave out a booming laugh before continuing, “No, Commander. Not at all. Haha! Alcohol makes you sharp.”

Now Erwin was really lost. Had the old man taken in one too many already? However, glancing at the single cup in front of Pixis made the blond male decline such a thought. He had drunk with the bald military veteran before, and he was confident that one glass for the older man was definitely nothing in comparison to what Pixis had gurgled down in the past.

“Everyone has hidden goals, right? Desires that they want to unleash but control? Say, I really hated the damn dog outside my house, right? Cause, son--- I do. Every morning I wake up to its’ barking and curse it all! I wish I could get a gun and shoot its damn mangy snout right into the sky. But that’s not right. It’s not right. My consciousness says I can’t do it. It ain’t my dog. All I can attempt to achieve is hopefully beg for my neighbors to give it a bone or something so it’ll shut up.”

Erwin gave a nod to the man, gesturing that he was still listening-- although he wasn’t sure if this was really relevant to him anymore.

“You’re like that. We’re all like that!”

“True,” agreed Erwin glancing down at the gold liquid occupying his glass cup, “We must control ourselves well in order to reach a higher goal.”

“That’s why I can’t handle you when you’re drunk.”

The blond Commander turned his head to the side as his brows bunched together, “Sir?”

“When you’re drunk you let loose that side of you.”

“You mean I’m a loud and crazy drunk?”

“No,” grunted the bald veteran crossing his arms together, “I’m saying you set sight on something and you do it. Silent. Quiet. Without warning.”

The blond Commander was listening intently now.

“I remember the first time you went a little bit too far with Hange and the others. Took too many down, son. I warned you too! Thought you were asleep, because—damn, you were silent as a fish under water.”

“Are you talking about when we got back from our first expedition? We were still quite young back then,” uttered Erwin softly as he thought what could have been so significant pertaining to the event. All he could remember was them sitting around the campfire drinking and then waking up the next day to a horrid mess of hangovers.

“But suddenly you got up out of the blue from your seat and started stripping.”

Erwin nearly choked on his drink as he just about spat the contents onto the smooth counter. Luckily, he was able to catch himself before that happened. Wiping away at his lips, the blond cranked his head towards Pixis with an incredulous expression.

“Don’t worry, son. Everyone was asleep,” reassured the bald veteran looking up at the ceiling, “Not like I hadn’t seen you youngsters naked already anyway.”

Erwin did his best to keep his composure as he stared at the older man before him, “Ah, of course. I trust in you not to put us in danger after all.”

“Moving along— After stripping naked you strolled right on out of the camping site. I yelled after you, but you just went about not even listening to me.”

The blond Commander couldn’t believe the story he was being told. How could no one have ever spoken to him about this event to him? Oh—right. Everyone had been asleep. But there had to have been other occasions as well, right? Did it just not occur to anyone that he could have put himself or someone else in dan…

Erwin stared down at the drink in his hand.

> _“Alcohol makes you sharp.”_

_Sharp?_

> _“I’m saying you set sight on something and you do it. Silent. Quiet. Without warning.”_

Pixis noticed the blond Commander’s sudden stillness and reached out to the younger man giving Erwin a quick pat on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, son! You just went for a swim, naked in the river and then came back—put your clothes on and passed out. Nothing too crazy now! Haha! Scared you didn’t I?” grinned the bald veteran.

Erwin gave a short laugh at the kind gesture, “Of course.”

The blond remembered his first expedition. It had been horrible. Heated and tiring. The group had finally came by a river at the end of the day—thank the heavens.

Upon seeing the running stream of cool liquid, Erwin had seriously just wanted to drown in its clear cold contents for the rest of the day. He had saved the majority of his canteen of water for the people of his squad that had ran out halfway through their journey. Having restrained himself from taking more than a sip here and there, the blond knew that he was near his wits end. But the idea of jumping into the clean source of liquid was outrageous. Not to mention, he’d have gotten his uniform wet and perhaps everyone would have laughed at him for the unforeseen action.

As the day had passed, the blond had slowly forgotten about the thought in order to concentrate on more important things such as setting up camp and making dinner. Of course, the idea had indeed been planted at the back of his head that was for certain.

Under normal circumstances Erwin would have never that sort of stunt any time soon— Or not. Seeing as Pixis just told him he literally stripped naked in front of the old man and strolled into the forest like a caveman on a hunt.

> _“Everyone has hidden goals, right? Desires that they want to unleash but control?”_

 The Commander had been drunk that night of the Legion Scout celebrations hadn’t he? Erwin leaned over the counter as he planted his face into the palm of his hands.

“I embarrassed you didn’t I?” grinned Pixis as he released a whistle of a laugh before looking up and turning towards the bartender, “Hey! Get me another one of these!”

Erwin’s jaws clenched together as he rubbed his eyes.

_What was it?_

What had Erwin been thinking of that night?

> _“I wish I could get a gun and shoot its damn mangy snout right into the sky. But that’s not right. It’s not right.”_

_That’s not it. It wasn’t that night._

It had been before then.

Way before then.

What had Erwin been thinking when the last titan had been slain?

When the Legion scouts had been clearing themselves of the bodies that littered the city pathway?

When he turned to the side and saluted his soldiers announcing that they had won freedom?

_What was it?_

> _“My consciousness says I can’t do it.”_

* * *

 

Something wasn't clicking and it was annoying the older man as he stared on at the brunet. Lover or not, the hickies on Eren made Levi question the scenario coming into view at the back of his brain.

_Unless Eren just liked his romance hard and kinky-- which was totally possible._

However some part of the Captain wanted to deny such an assumption. There were seriously too many factors and possible scenarios flying in the older man's train of thought at the moment. And so, the French soldier settled for simply gathering as much evidence as he possibly could before striving to make any more further conclusions pertaining to Eren.

"Why should I take off my clothes, Captain? You've seen enough haven't you, SIR? Because-- YES. It was totally my lover and I making out. Why would you want to see more huh? Or are you just trying to humiliate me?" Eren spitted out, cocky and loud with a hint of mockery.

Levi's brows rose slightly at the sudden immaturity springing forth. The French soldier leaned forward slightly towards the younger man in order to assert his authority. Eren didn’t seemed phased though. Instead he quietly watched Levi's fingers come together to form a small fist at the French soldier’s side as if anticipating for the older man to spring forth and land a punch to his stomach. Levi took notice of how intensely Eren was staring down at his knuckles. The brunet quickly glanced back up at Humanity's Strongest, having realized the older man was following his line of vision. Eren took a step to the side, away from the French man and sink.

"Suddenly not sure if you can take me on?" taunted the German male snidely.

Humanity's Strongest wasn’t having this.

_Hell no._

"Stop it."

However, the ex-shifter continued on, speaking as he let himself settle a good distance from the shorter of the two, "Worried for my performance? You're not going to get their name, if you're wondering."

"Stop it, Eren," Levi’s voice rose an octave this time as his gaze narrowed in on the younger soldier.

"What? I can’t even hear you! HOW FREAK'N SOFT HAVE YOU GROWN HUH?! Haven't punched me in what? Half a decade? You've lost your touch, old man!" shouted the brunet with a buoyant smile as he gave Levi a condescending shrug, "You can't even keep me in check. Look at you, thinking you know everyth---"

And that was it.

Before Eren could finish his sentence, the French soldier dashed forward closing the distance between the two. Without warning, the brunet's feet were swept from under him as he landed on the damp ground with a hard thud. Eren tried to catch his breath due to the air having been knocked out of his lungs, but Levi immediately fell forward onto the taller soldier sprawled on the floor and flipped the German male onto his stomach. The brunet didn’t even struggle as he felt the firm pressure of his Captain pushing down on his back side although he shivered involuntarily from the contact. Straddling the soldier from behind, the older man pinned in front of himself both of Eren's arms in alignment to the soldier’s shoulder blades.

"What the fuck are you trying to do, shitty brat?"

Levi crouched down towards Eren so that his lips were but an inch from the back of the ex-shifter’s head.

"Enlighten me, because even the blind and deaf would be able to tell that you're a rattle snake with no venom."

Eren's breathing was quickening as the seconds passed with the two awkwardly positioned on the ground, but the soldier tried to ignore his rising anxiety and instead sputtered under his breath angrily, "What are you talking about? You think I'm joking?"

Levi's firm hold didn’t loosen as the older man responded, "If this was your lover we were talking about, shouldn't you be a bit more proud of those wounds?"

Eren stayed silent.

"You're not blushing like you would have ten years ago, and that means something," growled the French soldier atop of Eren, "You know what I think, brat? I think that if this was just about you and your lover, things would have made complete sense if it were not for one single detail. Sure, let's say that you did make out with your damn Juliet... That would back up the reason why you've been so anti-touchy lately with the others. That would also explain the damn bruises on your neck for sure. But would that explain Erwin being involved in this?"

Eren stiffened slightly at the mention of the Commander.

"Hell it wouldn't. Oh, but what if you were to go beyond just making out? Perhaps if you had finally gotten laid? Well, I could totally see the Commander, who must have found out about your love life one way or another, putting in a word pertaining to you, because no one who cares enough about your ass would not be worried about just what would happen if you fathered a child right under the noses of the court shitheads. That would also explain why you're being so defensive towards me and sacrificing your good name in order to conceal your love affair. You’d most likely think that I’d be against this little romance of yours since it has interfered with Hange’s experiments.”

_Of course._

Everything Levi had stated aligned just right and it made sense didn’t it? Eren gritted his teeth praying that Levi was merely expanding on the German male’s lie.

But before Eren could get his hopes up, Levi cutted into the brunet’s only route to escape, “Although your lie is convincing, it's not believable enough-- And you know why?"

Eren’s heart fell.

_What else was missing?_

What in the hell could the brunet have said that would make his falsified rationale miscarry? Although Levi couldn’t see the brunet's face from where he was seated, he knew that Eren was listening.

"You've grown fucking terrified of people touching you."

The brunet paused for a second before gasping out in disbelief, "What?"

"Getting laid with the person you love might make you conscious of those around you, but it doesn't make you tremble like a rabbit about to be devoured by a wolf."

Unless Eren was that horny, but, hell, Levi was sure that the brunet was the faithful type.

"I'm not afraid of people touching me," Eren rumbled in denial.

"Really now? Then tell me why you can't stop shaking?"

The brunet glared at the wall visible to him and gritted his teeth in anger. It was true. He couldn't stop the sensation of wanting to throw Levi off of him and it scared him. However, it couldn’t have been that he hated physical contact right? It was just that the situation right now was making him frustrated. But then came the rushing memory of the incidents with Armin, Jean, and Reiner from Hange’s experiment the other day.

"All of this roose about a lover? About training with big ass trees? You've been lying through your teeth to everyone. Even Arlert and Ackerman."

_What?_

How in the hell had Levi known about the things he had said to Armin and Mikasa?

They must have told Levi what they knew about Eren’s situation.

Hell, Armin and Mikasa could have just been making small talk and answering Levi’s sudden questions regarding the state of Eren’s performance. But the thought that someone as sharp as Armin would have just let information about Eren loose to just anyone made the German soldier doubt that his friends had been ignorant of Levi’s goal in unraveling the brunet’s secret. If Armin felt the need, he’d stick his nose in the German male’s business even if the brunet didn’t want him too.

Of course, that was only if things were getting out of hands.

Had things gotten out of hands?

Eren glared down at the floor pressed against his stiff body.

_No—it hasn’t._

Eren could take care of this. He was freak’n twenty five. He was grown up. However even with such a resolution, the brunet couldn’t stop the sadness and guilt rising in himself. But he wasn't going to let it get to him.

Not now.

Not during such a crucial moment.

"Something else happened didn't it? What was it, Eren?"

The ex-shifter didn’t answer. He wouldn’t.

When Levi had told him to strip, the brunet hadn’t wanted his Captain to see the bruises on his body. So Eren had done what he had to-- Make an attempt to provoke his higher up in punishing him physically.

If Levi had followed through, the brunet would have no doubt been able to cover up the cause of the purple and green blotches that still discolored his lanky frame with a pretty valid excuse. Because typically, Levi would kick his ass then let him sit there for a minute or two in order to think over the situation before actually taking further action. And if the Captain hadn’t given up by then and still ordered for Eren to strip, even if Levi saw him naked, it would make sense that there were bruises on his body. And because of that, the German male wouldn’t have hesitated to take off his clothes in such circumstances.

But Levi hadn’t hit him.

Instead, the Captain had charged at the situation with a completely different mindset to the brunet’s utter frustration..

_Damn it all…_

His plan had backfired and now all Eren had achieved to do was further the older man’s investigation pertaining to his situation. The German male closed his eyes clamping his jaw tight. Just because Levi had gotten this far, it didn’t mean that Eren would give up…

_Right?_

As the German male felt the cold wet stone beneath him pressed against his flushed cheek, the German male suddenly sensed something warm come in contact with the back of his neck.

The ex-shifter froze abruptly.

"W-What are you doing?" Eren grunted out, not even attempting to conceal the nervousness etching at his voice.

Levi didn’t answer.

Instead the older man stayed silent as the subordinate felt his Captain's fingers dig into the collar of his polo shirt from behind and begin tugging the dampened cotton down.

Unable to see the activity occurring behind him, seeing as he was lying on his stomach, Eren panicked.

"Stop! What are you doing, Captain? L-Let me go!" yelled out the brunet, attempting to flail the shorter man off.

But Humanity's Strongest continued to ignore him and keep his weight firmly planted on the lanky German male below him. Eren could feel his shirt, having begun to stick to his skin due to coming in contact with the wet floor from earlier, begin to peel away slowly from the spine of his neck. The ex-shifter’s plan had backfired alright, because Levi was still attempting to strip the brunet.

_No! I won’t let this happen!_

 “Get off!” barked Eren as he made an attempt to shove the older man off of him.

A sense of dejavu was hitting the brunet as he flogged about under Levi.

"Let me go, Captain! LET ME GO!" thrashed the younger male as he felt his shirt slide down further, exposing a sliver of one side of his shoulder.

Levi was beginning to lose hold of the lanky male below him due to Eren’s uncontrollable thrashing. But the brunet’s efforts weren’t going to stop the older man’s investigation as he pulled down the back of Eren’s white polo from behind. And sure enough, the Captain’s beady eyes trailed down to find more bruises following those that already snaked Eren’s neck down to the soldier’s barely exposed shoulder blade. Levi’s hands froze momentarily as he glanced at the small patch of skin that he had hardly uncovered. Eren’s tanned flesh was no longer the expected consistent bronze. Instead, it was a mix of green, light purple, and yellow.

 

> _“It get’s worse as you go down though.”_

Something wasn't clicking.

Or perhaps…

It was.

But it was just hard to believe.

Or was it really?

Levi abruptly released both of the German male’s bent arms and slid off of the soldier completely. Surprised, but finally freed, Eren attempted to push himself off the floor in order to scurry away from Humanity’s Strongest. However, Levi suddenly bent back down to jerk Eren up so that the German male was, without warning, forced to come to a standing position within seconds. The brunet barely had time to register the older man's intentions when he felt an unsaid jab meet his collar bones. With a smooth flick, all of Eren's buttons that he swore took him thirty minutes to pin together were undone. The brunet instinctively made a move to pull the two loose sides of his shirt together, but immediate hands stopped him by yanking at the younger man’s elbows

The room that had been filled with echoes of the brunet’s cursing and struggle a moment ago was suddenly dead silent.

Eren felt the heat slowly drain away from his face as he attempted to stare down at the ground, but his Captain was much too close for him to actually tilt his head to such a level so he settled for the French soldier’s waistline instead. The ex-shifter swallowed nervously as he contemplated whether he should be the one to first speak but he was distracted by the desire to shove at the older man standing in front of him so that he could free both of his arms from Levi’s hold.

Well, what did Eren have to lose now?

He was at wit’s end wasn’t he?

The brunet fought the bubbling fear at the pit of his stomach and took in a trembling breath in order to speak, “C-Captain Levi?”

Was the older man going to swat him in the head and tell him that he looked utterly appalling right now?

Dirty? Disgusting?

Was Levi going to laugh it off and shove Eren back into his cell?

Was Eren going to finally get the slap in the face that he definitely deserved?

What was his Captain thinking?

What was Levi thinking?

Eren’s thoughts slowly seeped out onto the younger man’s face, painting his green orbs into a dull murky yellow of dread.

“Look, Captain… Nothing happened. I really do have a lover and we just sort of… Urm… Went all the way,” stammered the brunet somewhat sheepishly, “About having a child, don’t worry about it, sir. The thing is my lover’s a guy. We couldn’t have a kid even if we wanted to.”

_Come on, Eren! Cover up all your bases!_

It didn’t freak’n matter that the ex-shifter wasn’t even sure about his sexual orientation right now. Screw social norms! He had to make it through this! To the world, it didn’t matter whether he was here or not anymore anyway right? He was just the abandoned shell of the monster that Humanity used in order to save itself.

_Sacrifice your pride._

_Sacrifice your good relations._

_Sacrifice yourself._

“I- I’ve just never slept with a guy before so we had to try something different. And it scared me to death but we made it through,” continued the German male sounding somewhat more confident now, “So I’m a bit scared of people touching me now because I---“

“Shut it.”

Eren’s eyes widened slightly at having unexpectedly heard Levi’s voice. If it hadn’t been for the fact that the French soldier was so close in proximity to the ex-shifter’s face, he would have almost passed it off as the hissing of the water pipes from above them.

The older man whispered low and husky, “This whole time, you’ve just been playing along with me, haven’t you?”

The German male mustered up the courage to finally look up at his Captain. But to his wonder, Levi wasn’t looking at Eren. Instead, the older man’s head was hanging quite low, still inspecting the wounds on the subordinate’s abdomen.

 “Anything I say, you agree. Anything I pull up, you build off of.” spat out Levi in a lethal and rumbling baritone.

Eren’s lips formed a thin line as his green eyes bore into the crisp raven locks of the older man’s head in front of him.

Levi spoke firmly although quite low. But the words carried enough venom to make the brunet’s heart almost stop.

“Who did this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13 Preview:
> 
> “What in the hell did you do, Eren?” Jean spat out under his breath.


	13. The Second Mistake: First Move

There wasn't really much to say as Jean followed behind Connie hugging the rather large bucket of bleach and soap close to his chest. They trudged down the hallway at a rather slow pace, seeing as the two were burdened with such a heavy amount of luggage.

"I seriously thought that Squad Leader Hange had something serious for us to do, but instead we're stuck cleaning toilets," grumbled Jean.

Connie gave a weak smile at the statement, "Well, I guess it is 'serious business' seeing as she did say that Captain Levi would have wanted it done before we left for the expedition tomorrow morning."

"Well, we're here," sighed Jean grimacing.

The two came to stop in front of the main floor bathroom. Placing his bucket down, Connie reached for the door handle and attempted to turn the metal ball. But to his surprise, the door handle didn't budge.

"Oh crap… You've got to be kidding me…" spoke the bald soldier biting his upper lip with a pout.

"Don't tell me it's locked…" groaned Jean from behind him as the tawny head placed his own bucket of goods onto the stone floor clearly frustrated.

Connie turned to face the taller of the two as he continued to jerk at the metal ball, "It shouldn't be though, dude. When I went to get the mop, the janitor said that he left it wide open after checking up on the broken pipe in the last stall."

"Then shit. Move it, Connie," gritted out Jean angrily as he approached the wooden frame.

The bald soldier took a few steps back as the tawny head raised his fist into the air suddenly.

"Jean, what are you—" started Connie nervously, but he was cut off by the sound of Jean's fist coming in contact with the wooden door.

"HEY! ANYBODY IN THERE?!" shouted out the soldier as his knuckles continued to bang against the thick timber frame, "Damn sissy! You've been in the military for how long! Get used to others seeing you naked god damn it! You're a man!"

"Wait—Stop it, Jean!" spoke Connie with a panicky wave of both hands at the taller soldier, "If someone was in there, we'd have heard the water running, right?!"

Jean paused momentarily with his fist still in mid motion. With a grunt, the tawny head dropped his hand and turned towards Connie.

"Damn it all… Maybe you're right," huffed the taller of the two, "Want me to go get the key then?"

Connie gave Jean a frown, "Pf! You'd take forever, dude! Even with your long legs- I'll go. Watch the stuff for me."

"Right, baldie…," reassured the Jean with an irritated huff.

Just as Connie turned around and began to step away from the tawny head the two heard a steady sound echoing from inside the bathroom. The bald soldier turned around to glance at Jean with a quirk of brows as the sound grew closer and closer to them. The duo barely had time to register that the noise resonating from the closed off chamber was actually the click of heels when the door was suddenly kicked open with a loud cracking whip.

Jean stumbled backwards away from the swinging door as Connie stepped forward in a rush in order to help steady the tawny head's teetering. The two immediately glanced up towards the entrance of the bathroom to see Humanity's Strongest just as they evened each other's weight out. The French soldier had both of his hands in his pockets as his legs made a perfect ninety degree angle from one foot being planted on the ground and the other glued to the door now wide open. The raven head glared up at the disoriented duo with a hiss and dropped the leg that had been pressed against the door with a quick snap.

"Perfect," griped Levi, snarling with a scrunch of brows, "Jaeger's in deep shit right now. Really deep shit. I want you two to escort him to his chamber and have the guards lock him in. The brat's not to leave his room until I personally fetch him."

The duo gave an immediate salute at the specified instructions although they both were utterly lost to what in the world was going on.

"Eren, get out," spat Levi not even turning around to glance back into the chamber.

As the French man shifted to the side away from the entry of the bathroom, Jean caught sight of Eren's slumped over form slowly making its way towards the wooden frame out into the narrow hallway. The brunet had his uniform jacket hanging on the slope of his shoulders as he trudged forward with head hanging low, hands clinging to each other in front of his chest.

Jean had never seen Eren look so pathetic.

"Tell the guards that he's under solitary confinement until I give further instructions," gritted out the French soldier with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"Y-Yes, sir!" the duo stammered out somewhat taken aback from the intensity of the raven head's gaze.

"Good," uttered Levi with a click of the tongue.

"Um—S-sir! Hange has been looking for you… She wanted to talk about the expedition that Commander Erwin had been planning," stammered out Connie, despite the somewhat offish circumstances they were handling at the moment.

"I know," the French soldier confirmed with a grunt.

Levi remembered the perfect schedule Erwin had written out for them to follow pertaining to their meetings. However, with the Commander not there to actually make sure things were being carried out, Levi and Hange had a tendency to loosen the time periods of their half assed conferences. Unfortunately, the Captain wasn't up to date with what the hell Erwin had been planning for this 'new' expedition they were going to attend to, so skipping out on Hange wasn't going to be possible.

As he began to walk away swiftly from the three Levi threw out a few more warnings at the two, "If Eren tries to make a run for it, knock him out."

Jean's eyes slightly widened at the last part of Levi's statement. What in the hell had Eren done that could have made the Captain this far off edge? The shorter of the two was following Jean's train of thought as well from the way the bald soldier's profile had stiffened slightly. The tawny head gave Connie a nervous glance as the duo turned towards Eren's sheepish form.

"What in the hell did you do, Eren?" Jean spat out under his breath.

* * *

Pulling out a map, the blond adjusted the bright lamp on the rather large marble desk in front of him in order to get better lighting. Erwin had just returned from his little party with Pixis and was beginning to get cozy when a firm knock resonated from behind him. The military veteran hadn't been seated so he simply turned around in order to approach the door to his room.

"Yes?" answered the blond with a practiced smile as he pulled the door open.

The Commander had expected perhaps a worker of the place, but instead standing in front of him was one of the nobles that he had seen at the meeting earlier that morning.

"Greetings, Commander Erwin Smith," spoke the elderly man deep and gruff.

"Ah… Sir Won. A pleasure," responded Erwin with a light nod, "Is there something I can do for—"

Before the Commander could finish his sentence though, the man stepped forward and shoved Erwin aside entering his room. Not sure what to make of this exactly, the blond turned around towards his desk facing the noble who was now glancing over the furniture in his assigned chamber.

"Close the door, Commander. I have a word or two to share," began the stubby male.

The blond wasn't sure what the man before him wanted. Erwin was certain that the two had barely spoken to each other during the meeting save a few words here and there during their debate over the Legion Scout's progression. If Sir Won had wanted to converse with Erwin personally, he could have just given the Commander an invitation and set up an appointment. It would have saved the noble the trouble of seeking Erwin out—not to mention in the middle of broad daylight. However, it seemed that the man before him was rather impatient with the way his foot was already tapping the ground with a steady rhythm.

If Sir Won held greater importance than Erwin was aware of, giving him a bad impression would not be a good move. And even if Sir Won was purely another numbskull man rich off his effortless chair then it also wouldn't hurt to appease him- For now.

Either way, it was better to be safe than sorry.

Erwin closed the door behind him thoughtfully as he turned towards his 'guest.'

"Would you like a chair, Sir?" asked Erwin with a gesture of his hand as he stepped to the side of the room.

"No, this is fine," answered Sir Won with a cross of arms, "I shouldn't be here too long."

The Commander gave a nod at the statement as he too continued to stand.

"Your argument at the table was very passionate," began the noble with a hand coming up to brush at his beard bushy and thick, "I commend you for that. However, it must be disagreed upon regarding the data you have provided to the court pertaining to your… Experiments."

"Sir?" questioned Erwin courteously in caution.

Sir Won turned his head towards the Commander letting his eyes drift away from the open map on the marble desk that he had been skimming through.

"Eren Jaeger is a danger to us all," spoke the noble firmly with a tilt of the head, "And so are the other titan shifters."

"Sir, the titan shifters can no longer transform. Although they are a possible threat in conspiring per say, they have no more power than a regular citizen save military training," answered Erwin, stating the obvious with an expressionless face save the hardness in his eyes.

Sir Won's teeth grinded against each other as he crossed his arms taking a step towards the Commander with scrunched brows, "But we can't be completely certain, can we? How are we sure that the fools aren't just lying? They can control their powers can't they? Those monsters could merely be pretending to no longer have the ability when in truth they still do!"

Commander Erwin glanced up at the man before him with shoulders stiffening, "Eren Jaeger has served under me for the past ten years, sir. He has aided in saving Humanity from the very beginning. Never has he faltered. Although it is true that the other titan shifters face charges for treason, they have altered their ways and helped us in this war as well. It has already been made in official records that they are merely being spared in order to serve their sentence of aiding Humanity under the supervision of the Legion Scout so as to pay for their crimes. Are you questioning the Legion Scout's reliance, Sir Won?"

The noble let out a sigh as he turned back to glance at the map on Erwin's desk. Sir Won was a short man, perhaps a mere four feet or so. However, his massive belly made up for his lack in height, making him look like a sack of potatoes. The addition of the man's thin black hair pulled back into a ponytail wasn't really helping his title of a noble. However, the gaudy rings that littered his fingers were enough to tell another person that he was indeed rich. Even the clothes he wore spoke of his inheritance, thick in embroidery and ruffled lace with hints of emerald and ruby on the shoulders.

"No. Although I am questioning your priority, Commander," answered the noble as his brown eyes became hooded with an unexplainable silhouette of thought.

"The titan shifters shall be exterminated."

Erwin could feel a silent coldness creeping up his spine.

"The goal of the council is to ensure that Humanity is safe—and that it stays that way. We can't have a wild card such as the ex-shifters in existence. There are too many factors pertaining to them that are unknown to us, Commander."

Erwin was about to cut in, but the noble silenced him with a wave of his hand, "Eren Jaeger has indeed shown no sign of betrayal. He has served Humanity well. However, the soldier has been seen to be solely ruled by emotions. He is a very irrational man. You- No. All of us have witnessed his burst of anger when one of the other titan shifters were about to be killed during the last battle to the South of the capital. It is unfortunate that even with people who have betrayed Humanity, he still shows such a strong attachment."

The blond Commander stood still with blue eyes boring into the shorter man before him.

"Eren Jaeger is too easily pleased in training and battle. I am going to assume that once we rid ourselves of the traitors of Humanity, he will bear a grudge against our better judgment. Because of this, he too will have to go. We cannot have anyone defying the court law—especially someone as irrepressible as Eren Jaeger."

"Sir, I am assuming this is your personal opinion?" questioned the blond as he tried to hold back the coldness rising in his voice.

Sir Won slowly trudged away from Erwin's desk towards the door with a low chuckle, "No, Commander. It would be meaningless to tell you if this was just what I felt at heart. This is the court's opinion—or at least a good majority of it. Remember, Smith. Your priority is Humanity's wellbeing. You seem to have latched yourself with your subordinates quite well. Although it was a good tool when the world lived in fear inside these walls, it will no longer be useful in the future. I advise you to cast aside your bonds of friendship in order to better the world for the sake of Humanity."

As Sir Won began to make his exit by latching a hand onto the door handle, Erwin turned to the noble with his final thoughts in suspicion, "Why would you inform me of this?"

The pudgy man stood there facing the wooden frame as he spoke slowly in thought, "You are a well-controlled man, Commander. Although you have a good heart, you know when to cut off your emotions. I greatly respect you for that. I am already confident you wouldn't break the law for the sake of a few soldiers. Public appearance matters, doesn't it?"

Erwin gave a slight nod in agreement although he was sure that the noble wouldn't be able to see it seeing as Sir Won's back was facing the blond.

"Did you seriously think that the court would hold a public execution of the greatly respected Eren Jaeger, entitled 'Humanity's Last Hope?' Perhaps the death of the others would not matter as much to the public eye, but that man's death would have the law shamed for a century."

Although the Commander had been hanging onto every single one of the Sir Won's words, the response he had been given still didn't answer his question. As the noble twisted the door knob of the door with a click he turned his head slightly in order to glance back at Erwin with a subtle grin.

"You can't have people who are supposed to work with you in the dark, now can you?"

* * *

"Ah! Levi!" squealed the female eccentric with a lopsided grin as she spun around from her desk with a whirl, "Where in the world were you?! I seriously thought you were going to skip out on me for this meeting!"

"You make me feel like I should have, four eyes," Levi breathed out with a roll of his eyes, "I had things that made me… Late."

When the Captain had sought out Hange in order to talk with her about Erwin's plans, he almost walked past the female scientist's room in truth. The eccentric's office almost looked unrecognizable now with all of the excessive stacks of paper and messily arranged shelves tidied and cleaned. Hange noticed the French soldier's eyes plumbing through her room with a raise of brows. The female scientist snickered as she got up from her chair and ushered the Captain in closing the door behind him.

"Armin helped me out a bit after you left this morning," spoke Hange as she pulled out a chair for the shorter and went about to pour some tea for the man, "I told him it was impossible, but within an hour we had the room pretty neat. Surprised me—it really did. I guess that boy's just really got a knack for organizing, eh?"

Levi pulled his hands out from his pockets and took the cup from Hange's hands with a nod as the female scientist plotted herself back onto the chair at her desk with a little jump.

"So! We were supposed to talk to you about Erwin's plans, but it seems that it can wait," sighed Hange beaming as she began to straighten out the messy papers on her desk without much care.

Levi stared at the cup in his hand as he took a careful sip as to not burn his tongue as he waited for the eccentric to expand out on her little ordeal. Once Hange's notes and sketches had been neatly tucked away in her desk, the female scientist poured a cup of tea for herself and turned to the French soldier.

"So Levi… What's wrong?"

The French soldier glanced up at Hange with a scowl, "What?"

"I said what's wrong," laughed the female eccentric aloud, "Did you really think I wouldn't notice the way you entered my room with your hands in your pockets? You were dying to strangle someone before I handed you a cup of tea— So enlighten me!"

Levi stared at Hange with a deadpan expression, but the scientist could tell that the French man sitting across from her was calculating and considering his options. Hange was patient and she didn't mind waiting for him to think through the possible routes he could take in response to her demand. It wasn't often that the eccentric put her nose into Humanity's Strongest's business. However, that had only been because there wasn't really much of an occasion where Levi had been really that upset. True. The French man grew bitter from the death of his comrades, but he never lashed out save a few occasions pertaining to a certain brunet. But even those had been quite rare and so having witnessed Levi like that at her door— It had definitely sparked her curiosity.

After ten or so minutes had passed with the two just enjoying their tea, Levi spoke not looking up from his now empty cup, "If I had been drunk off my ass, disappeared for the night, and then returned with a fair amount of hickies, what would you think?

"Huh?" responded Hange with a rather undignified expression having been completely taken off guard.

The female scientist tilted her head as she stared up at the ceiling of her room, "You… Probably met a bunch of hormonal teenagers that attempted to worship your heavenly body because you're still so good looking for having hit your forties— Not to mention your title!"

Levi glowered at the scientist's attempt at a joke.

Hange laughed at the French man's expression as she continued, "Well… You DID say if it was YOU! Of course that would have happened! I can see it on the headlines now! Humanity's Strongest chased by hoards of hormonal fan boys and girls unable to control their inner desires! Haha! However…"

Hange cleared her throat abruptly before continuing.

"If it had been just a regular person, then I'd say they probably just made out or something."

The Captain gave a light nod in agreement with the eccentric as he continued, "What would you think if I came back to you under those circumstances, but suddenly became afraid of coming in physical contact with people—friends and family included."

Hange leaned on her desk in thought.

"Well, heck! If it was you, I'd say you never really liked being all touchy touchy anyway! But if this was a 'typical' specimen we were talking about," the scientist emphasized with a frown on her face, "Then no doubt they probably became traumatized by some sort of unwanted physical contact- which has most typically been found in an abundant number of cases pertaining to torture and unconsented se…"

Hange's sentence trailed off as she scratched her head glancing down at her desk with a gasp, "Levi…"

The French man looked up at the female scientist silently preparing himself for whatever epiphany Hange had hit.

There was a pause.

And then the eccentric's head snapped to the side with eyes large as golf balls as she jumped from her chair and lunged at the French soldier.

With two hands firmly cupping both sides of Levi's smooth cheeks Hange cried out, "OH MY GOD! Were you SERIOUSLY TORTURED?! NO! But you said HICKIES! Oh my GOD! You were RAPED?! ASSAULTED?! And against your will! Oh my god! No! Who did this?! Tell me! I'll report it to Erwin! We'll find them! I swear—I won't let you down! We can't—"

"Hange—" Levi attempted while gripping at the female's unrelenting hands now mushing his cheeks together like a ball of dough.

"Oh! That's right! But you're afraid of physical contact! Oh no! What have I done?! Levi! We need to get help! Oh Wall Maria! We have to get this phobia—"

"HANGE!" Levi yelled out this time as the female scientist was just about to let go of the French soldier's face and run out the room.

The eccentric froze.

Glasses crooked and hair a mess.

Somewhat too calmly, Levi guided Hange back into her seat by lightly pushing at her shoulders in a placid manner. The French man slowly wrapped his hands around the eccentric's own as he pulled them away from his face and planted them back on the female scientist's lap gently.

"A moment ago…" Levi began soft and low, "That's how I felt."

Hange sat in her seat staring at Humanity's Strongest as she clung to every word that Levi spoke in silence.

"I swear, I could have killed someone," finished the French soldier with anger etching the borders of his voice.

Levi got up from his seat in order to pick up the tea cup and platter that had slipped from his hands when Hange had lunged at him without warning. The cup had rolled a few feet away from them and the platter had collapsed at his foot. Picking up the small white saucer and teacup, the head soldier inspected the set making sure that they hadn't been broken. Silence gradually swallowed the room as Hange turned away from Levi and stared out the window letting everything that she had just heard soak in.

Out of all of the past confessions Levi had given her, this one was indeed the most shocking- So very shocking that the eccentric wasn't really sure how to respond. Should she comfort the man before her with words of wisdom or simply stay silent in respect to what he could possibly be feeling right now?

But beyond all of that…

Who had made Levi feel that way?

From what the French soldier just said, it meant that it hadn't been Levi that had been treated in such a way.

Someone else had. Someone that Levi cared for deeply if he seriously had the urge to murder.

Who was it?

Many people came to mind, although the first was most definitely Erwin.

Levi and the older man shared a past that even Hange wasn't quite knowledgeable of.

She knew that the French man had been recruited with the help of the Commander, but she never bothered to ask.

It wasn't her right.

However, it was hard to imagine Erwin getting treated in such a manner—not to mention the Commander wasn't even here at the moment so Levi couldn't have found out about such horrid news just moments before entering her office from him. Could it be that the blond had told Humanity's Strongest of his situation before he left for court? However, that would mean that Levi had been bottling up these conflicting feelings for at least a day now.

So then something had to have made Levi snap-

"Am I…"

Hange's thoughts came to a halt at the abrupt voice cutting the silence having filled the room.

"Am I not Humanity's Strongest…?" spoke Levi in a deep and soft baritone.

The female eccentric turned around gradually as she came to lay eyes on the French man's back. Levi was turned away from the scientist facing a small shelf while still holding the tea cup that he had picked up off the ground in one hand. Hange couldn't see the saucer so she assumed Levi must have placed it on the wooden cavern.

Was the scientist supposed to answer that?

It was a rhetorical question.

Was she even supposed to have heard it?

Levi's voice had sounded too distant.

"Am I not his Captain…?" Levi asked this time a bit louder with a slight growl at the back of his throat.

The eccentric stared at the stiffened shoulders of the man before her all the while listening with caution.

"Am I not HIS keeper?!" Levi shouted out bitterly as his body began to shake.

There was a crack.

"Am I not—"

Hange got up at the moment immediately dashing forward.

Taking a grip of Levi from behind, the eccentric jerked at the French man's shoulder in order to spin him around to face her. Reaching forward the female scientist took ahold of the hand that should have been still holding the teacup.

But the cup wasn't there.

Instead all that the female scientist saw was Levi's trembling fist balled up in front of him as he stared at the ground with jaws compressed. Hange's face immediately snapped down noticing the spare broken pieces of china having met with the floor.

"Levi, stop. You're bleeding," spoke the eccentric firmly in an even and threatening tone as she realized what had just happened.

Having registered the scientist's words, the head soldier's tightly balled fist between them slowly stopped shaking as the seconds passed with Hange holding out Levi's hand away from the man's white uniform shirt. Levi's shoulders were still trembling as Hange slowly pried opened the man's hand. Staring down at the unrecognizable shattered remnants of what was once a cup now cutting into the head soldier's flesh, Hange let out a sigh. The eccentric pulled out a handkerchief from her back pocket. Placing the dull cream cloth under the man's injured hand in order to keep the blood now trickling down Levi's palm from meeting with the floor, Hange glanced up at the French soldier before her.

"Levi…?" prodded the eccentric warily looking into the man's face.

The French soldier's brows were scrunched together with lips pressing together firmly forming a thin line. Hange could see the muscles on Levi's face flex as the tension slowly faded away from his face. The French man's beady eyes having been clouded gradually trailed from his injured hand up until it sluggishly made its way to meet Hange's own worried eyes. The eccentric paused staring into those grey trembling orbs. After a moment or two, Hange turned to the side and pulled Levi aside towards the small sink she had in her room typically used in her experiments and pulled out her medical kit. Moving away from her desk, the two stood at the sink as Hange cleaned out the man's wounds trying her best not to cause Levi too much pain.

"You're lucky that the cup was small and not made of that 'fine' stuff Erwin always talks about or you would have needed stitches. An extra-large band aid should do for this though," spoke the scientist with a subtle smile etching her face.

Levi said nothing as he let the eccentric do as she pleased not even complaining like he usually did when she treated his wounds.

Once the Captain's hand was bandaged, Hange guided them both back to her desk as she let Levi sit with a freshly new cup of tea. The eccentric pulled out a dust pan and a broom as she went about cleaning the rather small mess that the French soldier had made. Levi stared at the golden liquid steaming in his cup as the scientist completed her brief cleaning ritual away from him. Placing the trashcan back where it belonged, the eccentric put away her cleaning utensils as she made her way back towards her desk.

Planting herself into her seat, Hange turned towards Levi once more with a sad smile, "So... About the expedition?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14 Preview:
> 
> It all made sense.
> 
> It all fucking made sense.


	14. The Second Mistake: Your Answer

The brunet stared solemnly down at his feet kicking at imaginary stones as he sat on the edge of his plain cream mattress. The German male glanced up from time to time to catch sight of the entrance to his cell in hopes that perhaps someone would come down to fetch him. But the hours had passed and not a single person had stepped down into the isolated dungeon that Eren had come to call his room.

The brunet closed his eyes and let out a sigh as the soldier leaned to the side making his body slumped onto his hard bed with a soft thwump.

"I'll protect them…," Eren murmured to himself.

With lids pressing harder against each other at the thought, the brunet laid sprawled on his messy bed.

Sure— Levi now knew that Eren had been assaulted on the night of the Legion celebrations. Yeah, the French soldier was now aware that everything his subordinate had fed him were all lies meant to conceal the whole situation. But all of this hadn't changed the fact that no one knew who had marked the brunet's body. And Eren was determined to keep it that way. As long as no one discovered the truth, then the ex-shifter could keep his vow of protecting the two older men so very important to the Legion Scouts.

The ex-shifter was going to do what he had planned from the very beginning; nothing had changed.

Eren opened his eyes lazily as he continued to lounge on his bed.

The ex-shifter had anticipated that Erwin's faith in him would decline with the subordinate's stubbornness in not revealing any detail pertaining to the event that had transpired between them. Of course, the soldier had believed that with time the older blond's worries would heal and fade away. That was what Eren had planned—it was what the brunet had hoped for. However, if the Commander's relations with the brunet became so strained and broke to pieces Eren was fine with that too. The German male had foreseen sacrifices which he would whole heartedly give in order to shield the two older men.

If the brunet's bond with the other's broke from his obstinacy as well, so be it.

The world still needed Erwin.

The world still needed Levi.

They were smart.

They were strong.

Eren wasn't.

He was just a thick-headed brunet that had been experimented on by his own father in hopes of preserving the beneficial tributes of being a titan.

"Eren?"

The brunet shuffled slightly in his bed as he pulled himself off the wrinkled mattress having been caught off guard, "Y-yes?"

One of the guards on duty stood at the entrance to his cell—locked and chained.

"Captain Levi said that you're to eat lunch down here," spoke the man on the other side of the bars, "So I brought you some soup and you know… The usual stuff."

Eren smiled weakly as he got off his bed and began walking towards the cell entrance, "Thank you."

The guard gave a soft chuckle, "Pf… This is nothing."

The brunet stood to the side as the guard opened the small cell window that they had often used in the past. Eren reached forward taking the tray from the man and stared down at the contents of his lunch.

"The usual stuff?" gawked the German male, "This is freak'n steak! Did they kill a cow or something?!"

The guard laughed aloud at the outburst, "I think Squad Leader Hange said something about hunting with the gear in the forest during this week. The ice room was packed with dead animals—so whatever. Just be grateful!"

'Oh yeah… The dead bear and boar,' Eren recalled internally.

He had completely forgotten about their kills from the experiment to the South of the forest.

The ex-shifter glanced up from his tray and noticed that the soldier on the other side of the cell wasn't leaving.

"Is there something wrong?" Eren asked somewhat unsure of himself.

The guard glanced up at the brunet and smiled, "The other idiot went to see his girlfriend for lunch… so mind if I eat with you?"

'The other idiot' most likely referred to the second guard that watched Eren's dungeon entrance.

Th brunet paused for a moment completely baffled at the proposal but was unable to decline the man. Heck, the ex-shifter hadn't spoken to anyone since Jean and Connie sent him away from the main bathroom and into the basement. Although it was true that the guards to Eren's basement altered based on duty assignment, this certain guard had always made an effort to talk to the brunet. It had been strange at first because the majority of the people who stood at his door were always edgy about speaking with "Humanity's Hope." The German male had never had the courage to ask for the unknown soldier's name, but had gotten used to the man's presence with time.

The brunet sat down on the floor with tray in lap as he rearranged his food with spoon and fork. The guard on the other side of the iron bars seated himself down onto the cool flooring as well with a small sandwich in hand in addition to a portable canteen of water. The two men ate generally in silence save the few silly jokes and comments about each other's faces here and there. Once Eren had finished the main meal and resorted to just sipping at the rest of his soup, the unnamed soldier on the other side of the bars dabbed at his mouth with a napkin and began speaking.

"Are you ever going to leave this place?"

The brunet looked up as he lapped at the last of his soup, "Huh? I guess? It's up to Captain Levi whenever he lets me out."

"No," uttered the man with a hand to his face, "I meant the Legion Scouts!"

Eren wiped his lips with the back of his sleeve as he let the question sink in, "Oh… I don't know. I can't go anywhere really."

Funny…

Eren had promised Armin that the three of them would venture the outside world and discover the land of ice and fire. But it seemed the dream was slowly drifting farther and farther away with each passing day. The brunet seriously wanted to go though. He wanted to take Mikasa and the bobbed blond out into that world and explore every crevice of the forgotten earth. But with the way things were right now, the German male knew it wouldn't be happening anytime soon.

Eren had been instructed by the court that he couldn't leave to go anywhere beyond the camp ground without a veteran worker of the Legion scouts having served for fifteen years plus.

And those were of course the majority of the time—Hange, Erwin, and Levi.

The German male knew why the court had specified such a requirement. This was mainly because of the fact that Erwin had been able to save Annie and the others from being executed,

They were afraid.

Afraid that Eren and the other shifters would plan something without the government's knowledge. Going out meant that the brunet could gather information—and that was what the court was fearful of.

Humanity had many faces.

There was the common people, the nobles, and then the government. The common people supported Eren's existence. The government did not—and the nobles? Eren wasn't completely sure, although the brunet had caught sight of some of their representatives in court. They tended not to say anything much, although Hange had warned him that the rich tended to associate with the court Marshalls from time to time. Armin had also spoken to the German male about them to some degree. However, the majority of their conversation tended to fall in on 'the public.'

The public…

It was a term that everyone in the Legion Scouts used often, but no one really cared to define. However, Mikasa had. Although the expression 'the public' was used very loosely, it was actually a name assigned to the major group that judged and determined the circumstances and resources available relating to Legion Scouts. The title wasn't only recycled by them of course. It was a label that was utilized by the court as well. However in contrast to the Legion scouts, 'the public' for the court inclined to be the face of the common people. And of course, whenever Armin referred to 'the public' in Legion Scout discussions, everyone knew that the bobbed blond was referring to the court officials and their little ring of tyrants.

‘The public' was a judge—an entity that held back progression.

Eren let out a sigh as he stacked his plate and bowls neatly on his tray.

If Ymir and the others hadn't been spared, then the brunet was sure that the court would have been more lenient on him since he would have been the only ex-shifter left alive.

But of course, the brunet wouldn't have that.

_Why is that though?_

Hadn't Bertholdt and Reiner been the main cause of his mother's death? Wasn't Annie the reason why Levi's perfect squad had perished? And Ymir? Only the heavens know what sins she's committed seeing as the freckled female has lived for perhaps a century now. The brunet couldn't say that he had forgiven them, because Eren felt he would never be able to do such a thing. Forgiveness was something that Eren couldn't give to those that hurt the people that he loved. If the action had injured only the brunet alone, then that would have been a totally different situation. But it hadn't. Annie and the others had stolen innocent lives—lives that could never be given back.

But the thing was—just because Eren couldn't forgive someone, it didn't mean that he would hinder their efforts in redeeming themselves. Everyone lived differently and by altered standards. Annie and the others half way through the war with their efforts had switched gears. And it hadn't been to protect Humanity. No. It had been to preserve the circle of friends that the shifters had come to love in their childhood.

Perhaps that had been the reason that the brunet had defended them in the final battle and in court?

Eren wasn't completely sure.

Perhaps he would never be.

"Hey," began the man as he took hold of Eren's finished meal, "If you ever get out, you should come visit me and my wife. The land that the government has been discovering has been ceaseless so far. My parents have already invested in a plot of land for me and the rest of the family. You see, my mother is from a rather educated household so they've got dibs on the whole land distribution and stuff. If you make it out of here someday, I'd give you a few acres in a heartbeat."

Eren's eyes settled on the guard before him with a confused expression, "What? Why would you do that?! I haven't even done anything for you except make you get things for me when I'm stuck down here."

The guard let out a wheezing laugh as he turned away and began to walk up the stairs out of the basement.

* * *

"Where is he?"

Everyone froze slightly at the question.

"I'm sure he's probably just out with the Captain or something," reassured Armin with a nervous gaze.

Jean and Connie sat at the wooden table staring down at their empty plates and cups. They had done what Captain Levi had instructed— Take Eren to his cell. Jean leaned slightly away from group as he glanced down at his feet in order to avoid the conversation. However, Connie nudged him in the arm quietly.

"Shouldn't we tell them Eren's in 'deep shit'?" whispered the bald soldier.

Jean bit his upper lip at the suggestion answering, "No. Just leave it."

Connie glanced at the tawny head sadly but eventually turned back towards the rest of the group in order to help ease the sudden tension with a joke. Jean ignored the cluster and instead concentrated on the spinning fan on the ceiling. For the first time in a long time, Jean didn't know how to help Eren. Why? It was because he didn't understand what was going on. When the tawny head had asked Eren what in the world he had done to make Levi snap like that, the German male had simply looked at him and said.

> _"Nothing."_

What in the world did that mean?! Nothing? Nothing as in, Eren had done nothing? So that meant that Captain Levi had his pants twisted in a knot just cause he wanted to? But hell no— That couldn't be because Captain Levi was a reasonable man. So if Eren had been telling the truth, could it be that the stupid brunet had literally done 'nothing?' Jean gripped at the table's edge as he imagined Humanity's Strongest ordering Eren to clean the bathroom. And what did Eren do? Nothing. The tawny head then imagined Captain Levi telling Eren to stop doing nothing. Again, Eren does—NOTHING.

"Well, shit. No wonder Eren is in 'deep shit'," Jean muttered to himself bitterly as he glared down at his hands.

"I can't take this," Mikasa gritted out as she stood up from her seat without warning, "Eren is supposed to be here and he isn't. I haven't seen him all day— nor that midget. And Squad Leader Hange doesn't have any experiments planned for us either. If Captain Levi is with him, then they've most likely not even had lunch."

The raven head pulled her legs out from under the wooden bench and gathered her plates together onto her tray with a quick flick of the wrist. Without a second glance at the others, the female warrior pushed herself up from the table and began to make her exit.

"W-wait! Mikasa!" yelled out Armin as he tried to get his plates together with panicking hands.

Connie reached over to the bobbed blond and sighed, "Don't worry about it—we'll put it away for you. Just find out what in the world is going on for us, okay?"

Armin glanced down at the bald soldier with an anxious nod before chasing after the raven head who had somehow managed to already have her dishes turned in and was now heading out the cafeteria.

* * *

 And this was why he never got involved with people.

They took away valuable time and made him waste away in useless stress that didn't aid in solving anything. The Captain raised up a hand to brush away the few raven strands that had strayed from his scalp and into his line of vision. Slowly running his fingers through his hair, the French soldier tried to soothe his throbbing head.

It had been plain and vivid.

The bruises had started from the base of Eren's ear, light and subtle with just a hint of green and faded purple. However, the trail of discolored blotches had straggled down the subordinate's neck guided by the string of flesh that flexed out at Eren's nape. Eventually, the snaking track made it to Eren's collar bone down towards his chest in a messy U until finally the trail was cut off by a harsh marking of teeth having met the slope of the brunet's shoulder. From what the Captain had caught glimpse of from Eren's backside when the two had been struggling against each other, there had been more markings which began on the back of Eren's slim neck drooping down the German male's shoulder blade.

That had been enough for Levi to realize what had happened to the brunet—

But it hadn't been enough to quell the slowly sparking embers at the pit of the Captain's stomach.

It hadn't.

The French man knew he should have stepped back from the situation at that moment. He had gathered enough information to make a solid deduction that one of his soldiers had been assaulted and injured. But Levi had wanted to make sure. He had wanted to be absolutely certain that all of this was real and no one was trying to pull at his leg. So Humanity's Strongest had slid off the German male and pulled Eren up off the ground in order to inspect further.

From what the French male had seen, the markings were at best random from the front. There had been a few blotches on the brunet's chest and then some at the smooth concavities of his stomach curving out the shape of Eren's supple muscles that formed the subordinate's abs. The French man's beady eyes had followed each and every marking having been made on the brunet's tanned flesh trailing lower and lower until finally…

Levi's line of vision had descended to Eren's slim hipbones meeting with the border of the ex-shifter's uniform pants.

The bruises went passed Eren's waist.

Passed where Levi couldn't see anymore.

Passed where a certain area lay.

The Captain had barely heard the brunet speaking as he had been plummeting through the German male's body with his eyes. All Levi had really caught was that the Captain didn't need to worry or something among those lines, but the French man hadn't really gave two shits at that point. Something in Humanity's Strongest had already snapped. Something that even Levi wasn't really aware of at that moment because all the Captain could think of was killing someone.

Murdering them. Making them suffer.

Strangling their loosened neck until it cracked and blood spilled from their hopeless blue face, bruised and battered.

> _"Who did this?"_

Who? Levi wanted to know—

He had to know.

But with the way things were, the Captain was aware that it wasn't going to be simply that easy to get the response he wanted.

Fearful and saddening silence—

That had been Eren's answer.

And just as the French soldier began to think of another way to approach the brunet, a certain duo had made the decision to bang their fists on the entrance to the bathroom forcing Levi back to reality.

The French man let out a frustrated huff at the thought.

Eren didn't trust Humanity's Strongest.

The statement rang within Levi.

Eren hadn't trusted his Captain.

Levi tried to tune out the echoes in the crevices of his mind although he knew it was useless.

'He doesn't trust you… That's why he won't tell you,' whispered the French man's conscience.

Eren hadn't let Levi in on the situation.

However, the brunet had apparently allowed the blond Commander in.

_Why?_

_Why is that?_

Why was it Erwin and not him?

They both were intelligent and capable men, weren't they? They both had handled gruesome and horrific reports, saddening discoveries, plunging despairs… They both had held well onto their placid masks of cold indifference when needed and could withstand the brutal criticism of others, hadn't they? But of course, the Captain was aware that he lacked something that Erwin had.

It was charm.

A silhouette of peace and calm that hovered over the blond male when he spoke to people.

A mask of gentle and righteous assurance that made others wanted to serve him.

Levi glared down at the papers in his hands as he placed his pen down with a click.

_No… That isn’t it._

It wasn't that Eren had more faith in Erwin.

It wasn't that the brunet had chosen to let the blond Commander in because Erwin had just been that much greater than Humanity's Strongest. The Captain recalled of his little stroll up the stairs to fetch the German male the night before and the brunet had rejected the Commander's inquiry just as Eren had rejected Levi's inspection. Levi and Erwin were both equal—both of them knew what had happened to Eren. And neither of them could break down the brunet's stern wall of secrecy.

Thinking back Levi had thought the Commander had suffered from a hangover and thus Erwin had avoided leaving his office the morning after the celebrations- but it seemed that perhaps the Captain was wrong.

It all made sense.

It all fucking made sense.

Why in the world had Erwin been involved in this whole fucked up situation to begin with if Eren had been so keen on shutting everyone out?

The fact that the brunet had rejected the discovery of others meant that it hadn't been that Eren had confided into the Commander. No. It had to have been that Eren hadn't been able to stop the blond veteran from knowing.

Erwin had to have been the first to know about the ex-shifter's situation because obviously- the Commander had been the first and only single person that had come to find Eren in whatever state the subordinate had been in after the night of the cursed Legion Celebrations. Levi gritted his teeth against each other seething at the thought of discovering the German male stripped naked on the ground unconscious in the middle of nowhere. And of course… Erwin had probably been so shocked he undoubtedly hadn't been able to really grasp the situation to its fullest.

But of course, Eren must have eventually woken up at some point.

Yes… Embarrassed and no doubt ashamed.

The Commander must have dragged the brunet up to his office in order to resolve the conflict in closed walls.

Levi threw his unfinished papers onto his desk as he shoved himself off out of his chair and strutted towards the closest window to him in his office. Opening one side of the wooden frame, the French soldier leaned in on the wall with an elbow sticking out as he let the cool air brush against his face. The man's thoughts continued to march onward as Levi lingered in that spot unmoving.

Erwin would have done his best to calm the brunet down first once the two had begun talking. Levi could almost hear Erwin's soft baritone gently trying to ease the broken brunet before him. If Eren hadn't wanted the situation out, then most likely the German male had tried to deny the deduction Erwin had made pertaining to the subordinate's bodily state. Even so, blond veteran must have pushed for an answer to his questions.

The Commander had been too eager to know the sinner in order to dish out punishment.

And that is where everything began.

That was where Levi came into the scene ignorant and oblivious to the argument that had just come to pass in the Commander's office. That was where Humanity's Strongest was pushed aside without so much as a glance as Eren dashed out of the older blond's room. That was where Erwin had stood completely baffled and unsure of what to say.

> _"It seems I have disappointed Eren greatly."_

A hurtful gaze slowly crept onto the French soldier's face as he stared out the window too concentrated to really pay attention to any of the details of the outside scenery in particular. The French soldier buried his eyes into his loose hand.

Erwin had been calm on the surface.

But was that really what the blond had been feeling as Levi had stood at his office door merely glancing over data graphs that afternoon after Eren had ran out of the room?

No way.

Erwin would have felt more.

Much more.

> _"What would you do if I committed a crime?"_

Levi hadn't known what to make of the question at the time, but now all the pieces were clicking. Erwin had already made up his mind. He wasn't going to forgive the person that humiliated Eren. The blond had most likely been resorting to something that was not going to be very accepted by the law.

_Death?_

No— Erwin wasn't like that.

Death wasn't enough.

_Torture?_

Most likely.

The longest and most excruciating torture that brings you near the edge of death, but not quite.

Like putting yourself on fire.

Those who've had the wondrous opportunity to pass through such a stunt have said that at first it hurts like hell, but after a few seconds it goes away. Of course— Because all of your damn cells for feeling have been fucked over. And that was exactly it. Erwin was going to make the person that forced the German male into such a position burn. But the burning was going to never stop because the blond Commander was never going to let those damn cells for feeling ever be fucked over.

> _"I'm afraid that Eren and I have gotten ourselves tangled in—a little something…"_

Levi was sure that Eren would have most likely tried to avoid meeting with the Commander after having been interrogated in the blond's office like that. The brunet probably felt that he needed space— time. Avoidance.

Just like how Eren had treated Levi.

> _"I'm currently trying to get it under control, but I'm not completely sure how Eren is taking it in. For personal reasons, I won't say too much about the current situation."_

For personal reasons…

That's why Erwin hadn't been able to tell Levi anything, because— yes. The situation had been fucking personal, alright.

Since the very beginning of their meeting, Erwin had always had a soft spot for his subordinates. And after a span of ten years, Levi was sure that the blond 'soft spot' would have turned to an unrelenting bond that Erwin would have wanted to protect and prolong. The Commander was ruthless once he claimed territory and Levi was sure that anyone that had lived through the horrors of the Titan era would have fallen into the older blond's circle of protection.

> _"I can't."_

Erwin was a god sent angel and Levi was Satan's fucked up niece.

If Eren couldn't spill his beans to Erwin, of course the brunet wouldn't have expressed an inkling to Levi. But as the French soldier had established, the Commander was a gentleman. Levi wasn't. The Captain had forced his way into the subordinate's situation. Of course, it hadn't been just because he was merely curious. It had been because Eren's performance had begun to dwindle.

That was Levi's argument.

Yes. Levi had been concerned. He had been concerned because the shitty brat was one of his soldiers.

Concerned because he was Eren's keeper.

Eren's Captain.

Rubbing his face with the palm of his hands, Levi pulled himself away from the open window and shut it closed as he slowly made his way to the front of his desk and stared at the thin wooden surface of the furniture.

Levi didn't understand.

He couldn't.

It was true that victims of sexual encounters came to be deeply ashamed of the event—

But this wasn't just any victim the French soldier was thinking about.

This was Eren Jaeger.

Humanity's Hope.

Levi wasn't completely sure, but he had confidence that Eren wouldn't have dug himself into a hole in order to mope at the contents of his horrid memories of the night. Levi had taught Eren better than that. He had chiseled and burned into the brunet's brain that crying over spilt milk wasn't going to do anybody any good. It was looking towards the future, trying to preserve what was alive and progressing now that would make a difference. And yet the brunet's performance had declined without thought.

Of course, from the German male's reaction to his Captain telling him the subordinate was afraid of physical contact, Eren had been surprised and slightly confused. So it hadn't really been the German male's fault entirely pertaining to his failed performances because Eren hadn't been aware.

Even so, the German male had tried to conceal his situation of having been assaulted.

Most likely Eren hadn't wanted his comrades to worry.

That is exactly what the damn shitty brat would have done—

The German male had been attempting to preserve the joy and peace that had come from the Legion Scouts celebration by not letting news of his injuries becoming discovered. Yes, that would answer to the reasons why Eren hadn't let anyone see the damage that had been done. However, some way or another Armin had found out about the brunet's hickies.

Suddenly the memory of a certain shattered mirror came to mind.

No, that hadn't been it. Armin hadn't just happened to have found out.

Eren must have not realized that he had bruises trailing his neck. It was most definitely hard to see one's nape since human beings obviously weren't like birds with long ass craning collars. If the brunet had been trying to conceal his wounds at all, the soldier would have most likely thought that he had it covered with regular clothes in all.

But of course—

_The mirror._

Armin must have seen Eren before the incident with the mirror. The fact that the mirror had been broken upon the Captain's discovery was because the brunet had found out. Eren had realized that his unconcealed neck had been littered with evidence of his nightly event. Levi had seen Eren's scarred and bandaged hand when he had pinned the younger man down in the bathroom. It hadn't gone without notice seeing as the wounds had barely just closed. The shitty brat most likely would have hit the damn slate of glass on reflex.

That's how uncontrollable Eren was.

But if that were so, why hadn't Armin realized what had happened to the German male? Ah, that's right. The bobbed blond hadn't witnessed the rest of the brunet's battered body. The most Eren's childhood friend could have come to deduct was the German male had perhaps finally made out with his lover— Not to mention that was what Levi had thought too at first. The brunet probably lied to his friend in order to conceal the truth. However, with Eren's further out of character reactions to his comrades, Armin most definitely had caught on to the brunet's weird act—whether it had to do with the hickies on Eren's neck or not.

Even so that didn't answer a certain question.

Eren had been first in hand to hand combat in his graduating class, hadn't he?

Wouldn't have the brunet been able to defend himself against the person that attacked him? Eren didn't only just have wits and guts, he had experience as well. Ten years plus of it.

Unless the brunet had been ambushed by a group and…

The Captain's fist immediately collided with the surface of his desk with a loud thud as he seethed internally.

_That couldn’t be!_

The wounds on Eren weren't enough to have been a group attack. Besides, Levi was sure that Eren could have taken on two or three men with his capabilities. He had seen the German male fling Reiner and Bertholdt to the ground hadn't he?

However, the night that Eren was assaulted there had been a party.

Levi's face darkened.

What if Eren had been drunk off his ass?.

_Wait— No._

Armin had told Levi during their conversation this morning that during the Legion Scout celebrations, the brunet had gone head on in a drinking contest with Jean but had ended up stopping midway through because the tawny head had about passed out. Levi had seen the brunet drink a few times in friendly competition and Eren had proven that he could hold his alcohol pretty well—although it was hard for Levi to admit. However, Armin had insured the French soldier that Eren had been still sharp and aware although a little happier than usual thanks to the booze's buzzing. That meant that Eren had been generally capable of handling himself.

In truth, being drunk meant that Eren wouldn't have had the conscience to hold back. So if a violent stranger had yanked at the ex-shifter's chain, Levi was sure that the German male would have flew straight in and landed himself in a heavy scuffle of fists and broken bones.

Levi stared down at the hand that he had accidentally injured. There was a big fat band aid on his palm with a strangely disproportioned bunny as a design.

"Hange needs to stop with the creepy art on her medical kit," Levi muttered to himself absentmindedly.

If the Captain had accounted all of these factors in, and still had the ability to come to the conclusion that Eren should have been able to defend himself against a single assaulter then something wasn't right.

Something was amiss.

Why hadn't Eren been able to protect himself?

What would have made him lose in a battle he should have won?

Levi glanced up from his desk slowly with a scowl on his face as he heard a sound from the entrance of the room. He could just ignore i-

"Hey MIDGET?! Are you in there? Why wasn't Eren at lunch today?!" demanded a familiar female voice.

"Wait, Mikasa… We're sorry Captain, but we need to talk to you if you're not too busy," came out another from the other side of the door which the French soldier recognized as Armin.

Levi's beady eyes flew to the entrance of his room as his train of thought hit into something.

Why wouldn't Eren tell Erwin or Levi who hurt him when the two older men had obviously discovered the brunet's situation?

Eren wasn't a man that would become bent and broken over a stranger manhandling him.

The brunet was stronger than that.

Levi was sure.

The French soldier turned away from his desk as walked around the wooden furniture in order to quickly grab his uniform jacket and fling it on.

_Of course…_

_Of course._

Levi paced towards the entrance of his room with a hand reaching out in order to unlock the door.

The person that hurt Eren…

The Captain's hand firmly latched onto the door handle.

The person that assaulted the brunet…

Levi turned the handle with a click.

Had to have been someone that Eren would have never thought would have had the audacity to do such a thing to him.

"Hey MIDGET?! Are you in there or not?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 15 Preview:
> 
> But something had changed in him and now he couldn't let his soldiers go.
> 
> He wouldn't.


	15. The Second Mistake: Unravel

Erwin stared down at the plain piece of parchment at his disposal. The court wanted the ex-shifters dead. However, they couldn't go about doing it right in the face of the common people so they had tried to curry favor with the Commander.

And the blond couldn't outright refuse them.

He couldn't.

This whole ordeal had been funded and moved forward by the party of nobles that had come to aid the law due to the government's budget having been drained from war. The blond Commander had seriously believed that he wouldn't have had to deal with something like this so soon since Erwin had assumed that the court would be much too busy with land distribution. However, Erwin now realized that the whole point of the new lands being discovered and documented was a mere distraction for the common people. With so many citizens busy with moving out and rebuilding their homes, no one would have the time to pay attention to just what the court Marshalls would be doing behind the scenes.

The frown on the Commander's face became more prominent as his eyes continued to bore into the marble desk before him. Erwin could see the government's goal in the long run—their hopes and dreams that the group anticipated and wanted to achieve. The court truly did have Humanity at the front of their minds now that the Titans were gone. And that made them ruthless.

However…

Erwin didn't want to betray his comrades.

He didn't want to throw the ex-shifters away—

Especially not Eren.

Especially not that kind and bright eyed subordinate that served under him.

The blond held the bottle of ink in one hand as he pinched the pen in the other.

If the Commander made the decision to decline the court's private ruling, the Legion Scouts would suffer heavily for it- resources and money spending wise. Not to mention, Eren and the others could even be yanked out of their grip and placed into the military's circle instead while the common people were distracted by the sudden abundant resources available to them at the moment. Either way, the ex-shifters were screwed. In addition, there was a lot that the blond could lose by simply refusing to do as the court said.

There had to be a way out…

A different route that the blond could take on pertaining to the situation in order to save Eren and the others…

'Come on! Think!' yelled the blond internally as he sat at his desk with eyes shut deeply still having not made a single mark on the dull parchment paper.

Erwin was the great and respected Commander of the Legion Scouts wasn't he? He was the one that held the brunt of all responsibilities. The one that had somehow always came up with a plan. He needed to try harder. He needed to think deeper.

Suddenly something hit into Erwin's train of thought as the blond male opened his eyes slowly. The Commander let out a weak chuckle as he brushed his now messy blond strands away from his face.

'Humanity is your goal. Humanity is your life,' echoed a voice.

Erwin had lived that way sacrificing his comrades tearing down those who stood in his way. Hadn't the blond convinced himself before that one life meant nothing? A few more wouldn't really matter either? Why not just sacrifice the whole batch—as long as you got to your goal. That's what Erwin had believed. That's what he had lived by day in and day out.

But something had changed in him and now he couldn't let his soldiers go.

He wouldn't.

> _"I'd love to see the ocean someday."_

"No…," Erwin slipped out softly as he slumped over onto his desk with head resting in crossed arms.

How had this contradiction started?

"No," Erwin repeated to himself.

Where had the Commander lost himself?

The man buried his face into his arms.

Humanity had been his heart, hadn't it?

Erwin shut his eyes tightly closed as he grimaced at the thought.

Humanity was still his heart, wasn't it?

* * *

 The female eccentric twirled a lock of her hair with her index finger as she stood bending over her desk and went about writing out the last of her notes into the small gritty notebook that she had come to grow so proud of.

"Aha! I knew it! I can't wait to inform the others of my wondrous discovery! Seriously—they need to appreciate my unfaltering efforts in research more," giggled the eccentric to herself with a grin.

Hange placed her pen into the ceramic cup of writing utensils on her wooden desk before closing her composition and tucking it away neatly into her back pocket. As the scientist turned away from her desk and strolled over to one of the smaller shelves that occupied her room, she reached out a hand to pull out the abundant folders littered with filed diagrams and drawings that many would have sworn were pure trash that needed to be abandoned. Of course, the eccentric had kept them for her own personal usage. Without much care, Hange flipped through the thick stack of yellow stained papers in her hand back and forth searching for a specific section that she had come to forget was placed. Unfortunately, the eccentric's wild effort was rewarded with the files in her hands slipping away from her unstable grasp.

"Oh! Crap!" muttered Hange as she watched the documents all descend to the ground into a muddled heap within a blink of an eye, "Well, that one wasn't it anyway… I wonder where it is. I could have sworn I threw the darn thing here somewhere!"

Staring down at the pile at her feet, the eccentric let out a sigh as she turned away from the mess and glanced back up at the shelf with a sharpening gaze. Hange moved to the side avoiding the mess she had just made in order to inquire of further papers that occupied the small wooden cavern. Eventually, her line of vision came to pass over a certain white porcelain saucer.

"Hm… He didn't even put it in the right place, that clean freak," noted Hange with a raise of a brow as she reached over to the dish and took ahold of it, "Wow. He looked at it for that long and didn't see this?"

The eccentric's thumb brushed over the zigzagged pattern of pottery having been fractured with a shake of her head. Of course, the eccentric's muse was purely a sarcastic remark. From what she had witnessed, Levi probably hadn't even been able to see clearly in front of him as he had gotten off his seat and strolled over to pick up his having fallen cup.

'So Eren has been assaulted, eh?' affirmed Hange silently to herself.

Who else would the Captain have made claim to so violently?

It was indeed quite a surprise.

Never in a million years would the eccentric had have ever thought such a thing would happen to the thick headed brunet. Hange raised a hand up to scratch at the side of her head thoughtfully as she let a sad smile graze her lips.

"You know, Levi…," whispered Hange quietly to herself, "You should flip those questions around sometimes and see the answers that you'd come up with."

* * *

Slowly, he closed the door behind him.

The bobbed blond exhaled briefly leaning against the mohogany door before completely moving away from the entrance of the room and strolling down the hallway. Mikasa and him had been ushered in by the Captain. It had seemed like a typical conversation with his raven head childhood friend quizzing the French soldier about Eren and just what in the world was happening. Well... Armin had thought that once Levi had answered all of Mikasa's questions in addition to the blond's own, things would be settled from there. However, just as Armin and Mikasa had made their way out, the female warrior had stopped in her tracks and told the blond that he should go ahead.

She still needed to talk with the Captain.

Armin didn't want to intrude any further on Levi and so had tried to convince the female raven head to simply ask him later, but the steely gaze that she had given him had made his defenses crumble into a pile of dust. And so Armin had stuck with simply giving her a hush hush warning before leaving the room and completely letting his presence be known that it was gone.

As the blond paced down the corridor, he wondered what in the world did Mikasa need to speak with the Captain about. The French soldier had answered their questions hadn't he? Eren was in his dungeon because the German male needed some time alone to pull himself together before their expedition. Levi had made sure that the brunet had been fed so Mikasa's worry about the brunet starving had been dismissed. Armin had of course went ahead and taken the opportunity to ask the older male about Eren's situation pertaining to his sudden fear. Levi had told them that he knew the reason behind the brunet's unprecedented phobia- or more like he had just found out. However, the French soldier felt that he couldn't tell the two because Eren should be the one to inform his childhood friends of such a personal development.

Armin had agreed.

Mikasa was a bit bitter at the gesture, but she knew that Levi wasn't pointing them in the wrong direction. Of course, the raven head had indeed asked why Eren let Levi in while his two best buddies had been ignorant. As expected, the Captain merely rolled his eyes saying that Eren didn't tell him.

He had figured it out himself.

The bobbed blond had decided to cut into the possible start of an argument at the Captain's response and inquired of Eren's state of usefullness to the Legion Scouts at that point. Armin and the others hadn't heard too much from the court Marshalls since Commander Erwin tended to most of the political figures that questioned them, so of course with the blond Commander gone they had no one else to turn to at the moment. And Hange wasn't much help. Levi had scowled at the statement although agreeing with a nod and informed the two that nothing suspicious had occurred from what he knew. The court heads were busy with distributing land and conquering further territory. That's what he had heard last time Erwin had spoken to him of the court Marshalls. Eren shouldn't be in any danger at the moment. However, the French man had warned them with the usual...

The calm before the storm.

It was hard on the duo to constantly fear for the brunet's life on the sideline. But of course, one could never be too confident when it came down to the lives of others. Armin turned the corner and caught sight of Hange's office.

The door was wide open.

Trudging towards the entrance to the eccentric's room, the blond called out, "Squad Leader Hange? Are you in there?"

"AH! Armin!" gasped the female scientist as she spun around on her chair and lunged for the younger man in a bear hug, "Goodness! I was so absolutely stuck on this and needed your help! Oh- Where's Mikasa? Didn't you say that you'd bring her with you after lunch?"

The bobbed blond gave the eccentric a firm pat on the back before pulling away with a weak smile, "Mikasa needed to speak with the Captain so she told me to go on ahead. She'll be joining us in a bit."

"Oh. Well, that's alright," laughed Hange as she adjusted her glasses turning away towards her desk to gather the papers that had been strewn everywhere, "We can just go down and meet up with them since I needed to speak with Levi anyway."

"So... You said you needed my help?" asked the blond shyly.

The eccentric pulled the last scraggly sheets on her desk together before turning towards the blond, "Well, I think I found out something that might be important for you to know. However, I wanted to have another person go over my little experiment before I could stamp it out and rule it out as completely correct."

From the messy papers in her arms, Hange quickly flipped through the pile and pulled out a stapled packet handing it over to the blond.

"You can read over this while I tidy this place up a bit, alrighty?"

Armin gave the female scientist a nod at the instructions before proceeding to flip through the papers in his hand.

As the blond read through the document, Hange dashed about the room in the most undignified manner as she pulled and pushed papers away left and right. Armin had grown used to the woman's strange behavior over the years and merely disregarded all of the ruckus that she made as the blond tried to concentrate.

"Take your time, Armin," quirked the eccentric with a neat bundle in her arms as she made a quick mark on one of the packets that she was holding with a red pen and placed it back into the ceramic holder on her desk.

Armin glanced down at the papers in his hand quickly before moving it away from his line of sight to address Hange. However as he looked up he noticed the plain saucer in the eccentric's hand slowly making its way to one of the bins next to her desk.

"Are you going to just throw that away?" questioned Armin with a pitiful gaze slightly exasperated.

Hange looked up towards the blond having bent over, "Huh? Oh! Well, it's chipped and all. But no, I don't throw things away. I recycle them for future usage."

Armin squinted at the eccentric as he walked forward inspecting the three different trashcans next to Hange's desk, "So that's what these were for. When we were cleaning you just suddenly asked for extra trashcans. I just assumed that you wanted extras for the sake of keeping the room clean."

Hange gave out a laugh at the statement as she carefully placed the chipped saucer into the bin, "Ha! That actually sounds like something I'd do."

Armin smiled as he glanced down into the trashcans noticing the remnants of a tea cup in addition to the chipped saucer, "Oh… Did you drop one of the sets or something?"

Hange turned away to look for something as she responded to Armin, "Oh no! Levi went and crushed it with his iron fist, that clean freak."

The blond glimpsed up back towards the eccentric with a questioning gaze, "The Captain? But he'd never do that to a tea set."

"You're right. He would never," the female scientist turned around with a folded up map in hand as she let out a heaving sigh, "But of course, you know Levi. When he's mad, he just snaps without even realizing."

"Oh…," responded the bobbed blond glancing to the side as Hange trudged passed him to her desk, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up a bad memory."

The eccentric's head snapped up at the statement, "Oh goodness, Armin—Haha! You think Levi was mad at me?"

Armin blinked at the statement his cheeks reddening slightly, "Um… I—Uh… I thought you two had an argument of some sort…?"

"Nonono! Of course not," laughed Hange, "He was mad at… Uh… Hm, how should I say this?"

Hange paused for a second or two in thought.

"If it's something I shouldn't know, then it's alright," added in Armin unsure of what to expect.

The eccentric bit her lower lip at the blond, "No, Armin. In truth, I'd think I should have been the last to know this. But… I seriously don't think I should be the one to tell you either. So… Just to not leave you hanging, I'll just say that Levi was mad at himself."

The blond let the statement sink in as his thoughts wandered the borderline of whether he should be prying into the great Lance Captain's business or not. Eventually the blond stepped out of the room and into the hallway once Hange had finished cleaning up the room. Offering to take a few of the items that the scientist had gathered in her arms, the female scientist thanked the subordinate before making sure to lock her office securely as the two began trudging down the corridor at a leisurely pace.

"I'm guessing Mikasa and Levi are speaking about Eren?"

The blond's head snapped towards the eccentric as they strolled down the corridor, "Ah... Uh... Yes. Yeah."

Hange made a silly pout at Armin's sudden nervousness, "I may have bad eyesight, but even I'm not blind, Armin. The only topic that those two could hold for longer than a second is about our cute little cookie."

Armin chuckled at the statement as they turned a corner, "Right. It's like the only thing that they're willing to admit they have in common."

"Ha! What a thought," laughed Hange to herself as the two came to a stop in front of Levi's office, "Well, hopefully their talk is about done."

Armin glanced at the door that he had just left for a mere ten minutes or so ago. Mikasa had insured him that she only needed to converse with the Captain for a short period of time and that Armin needn't worry. The blond shifted the contents in his arms to the side as he reached a hand out to knock on the door-

"DON'T YOU DARE TURN YOUR BACK ON ME!"

The sudden scream was accompanied by the sound of something flying towards the entrance of the room with a loud and audible THUNK which made Armin immediately flinch from the door on reflex bumping right into Hange.

That had definitely been Mikasa's voice.

Armin quickly cranked his head towards the eccentric who stood behind him having made sure he hadn't slipped. Hange glanced down at the blond with a quirking brow in question.

What in the world was going on?

Another loud THUD was heard from within the room although more distant making the blond's line of vision snap back to the door. With a final nervous glance towards Hange, Armin pulled himself together and reached for the handle without hesitation as he turned the metal ball with a click thrusting the door open.

Thank goodness the blond had forgotten to lock the handle when he had left moments before.

The wooden frame quickly swung open as Hange and Armin stepped in speedily looking over the chamber for the two occupants who should have been there. To his horror, Armin saw that Levi's desk had been pushed against the wall colliding with one of his shelves. Glancing down, the blond realized that it had been a book that had been thrown against the door earlier as his eyes eventually came to fall on the far off right corner of the room where Mikasa was standing with her back facing them.

Before Armin could find his voice Hange stepped forward placing her items onto the crooked desk, "Goodness, what a mess!"

"M-Mikasa?" the blond called out nervously to the female soldier before him.

Armin slowly stepped towards his childhood friend when he realized that it wasn't just Mikasa standing in the corner- Levi was there too. However, the man's shorter stature had been concealed by Mikasa's own towering. From where Armin stood he could see that the female soldier had shoved the Captain into the corner of the room with a balled fist crinkling the French man's uniform shirt. Neither of the two turned towards Armin as he eventually came to a stop a meter or two from the entangled duo.

"What are you doing Mikasa?!" the blond finally managed as he took in the scene before him immediately dropping the papers in his hands onto the floor and dashing forward to take a hold of Mikasa's tense figure, "Captain Levi- I don't know what's going on but-"

"It's alright."

Armin froze momentarily before tilting his head up at Levi completely baffled, "W- What?"

The Captain blinked glancing to the side as his form slumped forward slightly into Mikasa's unrelenting hold with back against the uncomfortable slant of the room.

The French soldier repeated his words again although this time it seemed more like a sigh of defeat, "It's alright."

The blond stared at the older man before him.

Levi wasn't speaking to him.

The Captain was addressing Mikasa.

"It's my fault. I get it."

The female raven head still tense in Armin's hold eventually relaxed to the blond's relief. A brief moment of silence settled over the three huddled in the corner as Armin tried to understand just what could have made the female raven head snap like that.

"So..." cut in Hange with a pout gesturing her hands about in a wild manner, "If you both are done fighting over a brownie, then please proceed to help me with this!"

Mikasa turned around in Armin's hold giving the blond a light squeeze before completely slipping away from his arms. Levi pushed himself up from the small corner and straightened his jacket with a pull and pat. Armin was still bedazzled. The blond was lost to why the two raven heads had been arguing- No. Fighting really... But it seemed like the female eccentric at the front of the room wasn't going to pry in on the situation and that made Armin feel obligated to not either. However, his curiosity and concern was killing him at the moment. How could all of them just brush off the scene he had come to witness a few seconds ago like it had been nothing? The blond stole a glance towards Mikasa who had turned her attention towards helping Hange push Levi's desk back where it had previously been placed.

Armin would be sure to ask Mikasa later.

Once the desk had been pushed back to its previous position, Hange pulled out her papers and began yapping away happily, "Tomorrow we'll be heading out, remember?"

* * *

The circle of elderly men and women's gaze were concentrated on the blond as he stood up slowly from his seat placing both of his hands onto the stone marble table in front of him. Erwin looked up letting his eyes trail down the elongated slab of stone meeting silently with every single member of the court that was present.

"I am assuming you'll be canceling this expedition of your's then?" inquired the elderly lady who had seated herself a few seats to the left of the blond Commander.

Erwin turned to the settled noble with a thoughtful pause before answering, "No. I have already sent message of my absence. I will merely excuse myself from the project and cut down on the individuals that will be going."

"Oh?" spoke the elderly lady snidely, "And what use would that be to us? Why not just withdraw it all together? We need the titan-shifters locked down before ending them, don't we?"

The blond Commander gave the woman a cautious glance as he let out a sigh in order to state the obvious.

"Don't be so reckless. Didn't the court agree that it was undesired for 'the public' to know of their involvement? It may be true that for now the majority of the common people are distracted but once the rush is over many will begin to question. Eren Jaeger's death in addition to the other's must be accomplished under believable circumstances that have nothing to do with the government officials' influence."

The room began to grow rowdy as the men and women settled at the table contemplated the possible options that were available to them. Erwin took this moment of distraction in order to seat himself back into his chair before interrupting the sudden abundance of noise.

"I have a proposition."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16 Preview:
> 
> Eren let out a squeak at the final statement, "What?!"
> 
> The bobbed blond turned to his childhood friend.
> 
> "I know that it's going to be cramp, but please just bear with it, alright?"


	16. The Second Mistake: Baby Steps

Eren huddled close to his horse as another shower passed through. He couldn't believe how much rain was soaking them as the group traveled under the thick canopy forest. Luckily everyone was wearing thick rain coats over their fur jackets. The brunet had assumed that the crowns would help a bit, but nope. The tall spruces had only aided in making the droplets of ice cold water bigger and icier as they came down having collected in amount.

The brunet gave a quick glance behind him to see just how well the others were managing with their saddle. Everyone save Eren himself had been forced to share a horse. Connie with Jean, Armin with Levi, and Christa with Hange. However, Eren had been given the opportunity to handle his beast alone since they had an odd number of people in the group. It was strange to see his childhood friend cling to the back of the great Lance Captain in front of him since the brunet had never seen Levi share his beast with anyone before not that it mattered to him.

Eren was merely grateful that he didn't have to deal with anyone clinging to him as he rode for god knows how long.

"Alright you guys!" shouted Hange from the front ecstatically, "We'll make camp here! The ground is pretty even and it's not as muddy. Passed this, it'll probably just get worst so let's call it a night, shall we?"

Everyone pulled themselves off their horses and began leading their beast away towards thicker tree shelter silently. The air wasn't necessarily cold, but since the crew was wet it wasn't really helping them either. The weather had been haywire the whole month- perhaps due to the sudden abundant activity of Humanity and the end of the titans. A few days ago, it had been quite nice save the chilly breeze.

But even then the temperature had been quite comfortable.

However, today's skies had changed all of that with its sudden abundant amount of icy rain and thick humid air. It was perhaps due to the fact that it was already nearing winter seeing as the majority of the leaves of the deciduous had already fallen save the evergreens.

After tying his horse down next to Jean's own, the brunet paced forward towards Connie in order to help him out with building the tents. But as Eren began to make way to the bald soldier, someone called out to him.

"Jaeger. Over here," yelled out Levi.

Eren turned to the side catching sight of the older man slumped over on a damp stump with elbows on knees. Jean walked past the distracted brunet giving him a nod confirming that he'd help the bald soldier out instead. The ex-shifter tried to give the tawny head a smile but his lips faltered as he turned away and began pacing towards the Captain.

"Yes, sir?" enquired the brunet quietly as he made it to where the French soldier was seated.

Levi glanced up at the German male with a deadpan expression, "Get Hange's first aid kit."

The brunet's head immediately snapped down in order to see that the Captain was peeling a bandage off his right palm.

"Sir, did you get injured?" questioned Eren with a somewhat muddled expression.

The subordinate couldn't remember the older man having been hurt yesterday when Levi had forced him into submission on the bathroom floor. (Don't read too much into that sentence…) However, the brunet had been quite slow this morning and hadn't really been paying attention. Perhaps the French soldier had injured his hand last night when Eren had been locked up in his dungeon.

Levi let out a brief exhale before responding with a sarcastic remark, "No, Jaeger. Apparently I just like decorating myself with Hange's creepy ass band aids as pass time."

Eren turned slightly sour at the older man's answer before spinning around and dashing towards the eccentric across the night's camping ground. The sky was dim and heavy with little hint of sun. Even without glancing at his pocket watch though, Levi knew that it was quite late. Soon the night sky would follow them and they would be left with no light at all. Staring at the fat deranged bunny band aid that he had peeled off himself before Levi had time to contemplate further, the brunet returned with a small case in hand a bit out of breath.

"Here sir! Squad Leader Hange said that her main hadn't been unpacked yet but this is just her personal and immediate case. However, it should do."

Levi gave a nod staring at the brunet's profile unchanging as Eren stood there like that with one hand on his bent knee catching his breath. The subordinate's other arm continued to reach out towards the older man awkwardly as he waited for Levi to take the kit from his hand.

The Captain stared at him.

"S- Sir?" questioned Eren unsure of why the older man was not responding like he usually did.

The French soldier reached out his injured hand towards Eren with a deadpan expression, "Help me out."

The brunet blinked at the command somewhat taken by surprise and glanced down at the French soldiers offered palm.

"A-are you sure, sir?" questioned the brunet with unease slowly creeping up the side of his face.

Levi clicked his tongue at the question, "If you didn't know, brat, I do write with my right hand."

Eren gave a weak smile at the statement that didn't reach his eyes.

Quickly, the brunet kneeled down in front of the older man still seated on the dead stump and opened Hange's first aid kit. He gave a quick glance at Levi's exposed palm in order to determine the ointment and size of bandage he would need before pulling out the required materials. Levi leaned a bit closer to the German male in order to make sure that the brunet wasn't making any mistakes. Hell—he had already had enough trouble with the eccentric giving him the wrong drugs in the past and he wasn't going to allow Eren to repeat the damn same slipups. Of course, Levi's sudden movement made the brunet stumble back a little although the German male tried his best to conceal it. The Captain noticed however and silently took it upon himself to scoot further back towards the stump he was seated on without question.

Eren glared down at the ground at the gesture with an obvious pout painting his features.

"You didn't need to do that," Eren gritted out quietly as he uncorked the tube of medicine paste in his hand.

Levi glanced away from the subordinate momentarily in order to see the other soldiers' progression on setting up tent, "I wonder about that."

The brunet glowered at the head soldier before him.

Levi's head had turned to the side slightly with attention focused on most likely Connie and the others. Eren's green orbs trailed down the older man's stern face following Levi's veined throat until finally the subordinate's line of vision came to linger on the older man's raised injured palm again. The brunet stretched out with slightly shaking fingers towards the French man's open hand hoping the Captain wouldn't notice his nervousness. Of course, Levi had already turned his attention back towards the German male with scrunched brows. With the medicinal paste in hand, Eren's eyes bore into Levi's offered palm as the brunet's fingers hovered over the scarred flesh.

But untouching.

The Captain stared down at the ex-shifter witnessing the scene before him silently. Eren was kneeling in front of the older man with a deeply strained and concentrated gaze. The French soldier could hear the younger man's somewhat erratic inhales as the brunet continued to stare at the offered hand before him with lips firmly pressed together.

Yesterday morning Levi had been the first to act, forcing contact onto Eren.

It seemed that the German male had indeed been afraid of the older male's body pressed against his own and had even attempted to get away from the unwanted stimulus. Although Levi knew what to expect from other people touching Eren, the Captain hadn't known how the ex-shifter would handle things if the situation had been swapped around. Levi had expected hesitancy from the subordinate to some degree, but he didn't think the brunet would be this fearful to initiate contact.

_Wonderful—_

_Just wonderful._

"Get Springer," exhaled the Captain softly with a huff breaking Eren from his concentration.

The brunet's head immediately pitched up at the command with eyes widening.

"W-Wait!" Eren whispered in panic at the realization of what Levi was implying with his sudden change of mind, "I can do this, Captain. I can do this. Just let me—,"

"Shut it, Jaeger," snapped Levi sharply glancing away from the brunet as he withdrew his hand back towards himself, "You can't do shit right now. Get Springer. Now."

The kneeling subordinate paused for a moment as he felt a sudden heaviness hover over him.

Eren was useless.

So utterly useless.

Letting defeat sink into the pit of his stomach, Eren sluggishly pulled away from the older man placing the drug and bandage back into Hange's medical kit before pushing himself up off the ground. Turning away weakly from Levi, the German male walked in the direction of Jean and Connie who had both completed their assigned task of setting up the tents. After catching the bald soldier's attention and pointing him towards the direction of the Captain, Eren tried to make himself useful elsewhere. Luckily Hange immediately jumped from out of nowhere and demanded that Eren start a fire with the spare wood they had carried along with them in their pack seeing as the skies were already quite dark. The group hadn't expected it to rain so much that the timber around them would become so utterly soaked and useless, but of course Armin had decided to bring some extra logs with him anyway just in case of emergencies.

Thank the cautious blond!

With some help from Christa, Eren was able to get a flame started up as Hange and Armin finished up marking off the location that they had reached. Eventually the eccentric and Captain pulled themselves into a tent in order to converse over plans pertaining to the expedition in privacy. With the two higher ups busy, Armin and the others gathered around the fresh roaring fire. It seemed that the rain had stopped completely with no more showers passing through fortunately. Things generally settled down once everyone pulled out their packs and began munching on fruit and bread while making small talk as they awaited further orders.

"Goodness... If they needed to experiment on your ass, why couldn't they have just done it at headquarters?" muttered Jean with a scowl as he bit into his loaf of bread shivering slightly.

Eren rolled his eyes at the tawny head seated across from him on the other side of the fire as he pulled out his pack, "It was for precautions- Commander Erwin's orders apparently. That's what Hange said."

"I don't get it though," spoke Connie as he chewed on an apple, "Bertholdt told me that the others and him had been experimented on like a week or two ago already. I wonder why Hange took so long to get to you."

Eren gave a shrug as he munched on an apple as well.

Armin swallowed as he contemplated the statement before adding his own two cents into the conversation, "I've been spending some time with the Squad Leader, but she's never told me about the experiments pertaining to the ex-shifters at all. Hange said that until a good conclusion was reached, there was no point in informing us about anything."

The group continued eating letting the crackle of the fire swallow their rustling and chewing.

"I think...," Christa began softly as she stared into the distance with a half-eaten sandwich in hand, "Ymir told me not to tell anyone, but... I think it's because Commander Erwin was a bit scared of the experiment."

Eren quirked a brow, "Scared?"

The short blond lady gave a slow nod as her voice grew even quieter, "Annie had been the first to volunteer to do it although the Commander was sort of... Against the whole thing. But it turned out okay, so Ymir decided that she might as well go through with it too. But… Ymir said it was really really pa-"

"WAIT! LEEEEEE-VI!"

Everyone's head turned towards the sudden source of noise.

Without warning, the entrance of one of the tents was flung open as their Captain crawled out rather hastily with a lamp in one hand and a jacket in the other.

"Shit no, four eyes. I'm higher than you on the military scale, so don't even think about disobeying me," hissed the Captain angrily glowering as he made it out of the small structure and began strutting away hurriedly towards another tent.

"But Levi! Just LISTEN to me!" pleaded the eccentric as her head poked out of the small structure exasperated, "Goodness! You're so freaking stubborn!"

"Did something happen, Squad Leader Hange?" called out Armin curiously as he stayed seated near the fire.

Hange gave a nervous laugh at the group by the fire seeming to have not noticed them before, "Nope! Not at all! You guys finish up eating and then go to sleep, alrighty? We have a big day tomorrow!"

Everyone gave each other a cautious glance at the eccentric as she popped her head back into her tent before finishing up their dinner. As Armin turned out the fire, Eren stood behind him glancing around a bit confused.

"Is there something wrong, Eren?" asked the bobbed blond with a smile as he poured the last lapse of water onto the hissing ashes and turned around, "You know you didn't have to wait for me."

Eren scratched the side of his head in the dark as he looked over towards where he assumed his friend should have been standing since it was now pitch black without the glowing embers of the fire, "Dude, we only have three tents. One medium and two small. How in the world are we going to fit in them?"

Armin trudged past the brunet without any problem even with the lack of light before placing the bucket down and patting his hands dry with a small towel, "What are you talking about? Didn't you hear Hange this morning?"

The German male gave him an apologetic glance as the clouds moved and the moonlight showed through the trees allowing for him to see better, "Hey! I was sleepy, 'kay?"

The bobbed blond shook his head with a sigh before grabbing his pack from the ground, "The medium tent- which doesn't deserve to be called medium- is for Jean, Connie, and me. Christa is sleeping with Hange in one of the smaller ones. And you're with the Captain in the remaining small."

Eren let out a squeak at the final statement, "What?!"

The bobbed blond turned to his childhood friend.

"I know that it's going to be cramp, but please just bear with it, alright?" pleaded Armin with a sympathizing gaze as he threw his pack over his shoulder and began walking ahead.

The brunet did the same and followed.

"The original plan had been for you, me, Jean, and Connie, and Christa to share a large and Hange and Levi to share a small. But the Captain wouldn't have that."

The brunet bit his upper lip as he trudged silently behind Armin in the dark towards the array of tents carefully, "Captain Levi didn't want to have to deal with Squad Leader Hange, huh?"

Armin let out a chuckle at the statement, "Squad Leader Hange IS a bit on the loud side in the morning..."

The two eventually separated ways with the help of the moonlight as they walked towards their assigned tents. Armin to the medium and Eren to the-

'Why is the Captain's tent set up so freak'n far away from the others…' complained the brunet internally as he sighted the small structure a few good four to five meters to the left from where the medium and small tents were.

As the brunet approached the mini-sized shelter, Eren pulled off the hood of his jacket and kneeled down onto the ground as quietly as possible before opening the entrance of the tent. Well, the German male ought to have been grateful since Eren was sure that he would have died with four other people basically cramped in with him in the middle of the night.

As the ex-shifter crawled in he took off his boots and placed them outside making sure to cover them with a leather sheet as Armin had advised in case it rained again during the night. Luckily, Eren's eyes had adjusted to the dark by now even without the help of the moon and he could see that the tent was indeed cramped. The brunet spotted Levi's sleeping figure curled up in a ball to the far, far off left side of the tent with back towards Eren. This left the German male with at least two thirds of the space- just enough to for him to lie down and still have some additional room.

Eren let out a relieved sigh.

Quickly folding the entrance of the tent closed, Eren pulled off his jacket and placed it at his feet as he opened his bag and drew out a blanket and hard pillow. Situating his luggage next to where he had placed his jacket, the German male laid down realizing how soft the ground was beneath the thick leather material under him.

'So this is why the Captain had moved the tent...' Eren uttered to himself silently.

As the brunet shuffled about attempting to cover his lanky figure thoroughly with his blanket, the German male thought about what the Captain had told him when he had been pinned down to the bathroom flooring.

> _"You've grown fucking terrified of people touching you."_

Eren gazed sadly at his still healing knuckles thinking.

It was true.

So true that now that it had been literally stated and thrown into his face, Eren had become even more aware of his surroundings. Even just the slightest hint of contact made the brunet freeze. A while ago when he had been having trouble making the fire, Christa had come to his aid. However, even as the kind little lady had showed him how to get a good spark, the brunet had been much more occupied trying to avoid touching the gentle female soldier rather than paying attention. Eren chewed on his bottom lip as he turned to the side so he could see the back of his Captain lying next to him.

Levi had asked Eren to bandage his hand even with the knowledge that the brunet had been afraid of physical contact. The German male's face turned to a scowl boring into the French soldier's unaware shoulder blades.

It had been a test.

An assessment..

An evaluation of just how scared Eren was of touching people.

The brunet's eyes narrowed on Levi's faint silhouette just as the French soldier suddenly turned around. Eren immediately froze at the unexpected movement. To Eren's relief though, the Captain was merely shifting in his blankets in order to lie on his back which gave Eren a good view of the man's prestene face completely relaxed. Eren stared at the older man's facial features smooth and unwrinkled.

Luckily, Humanity's Strongest slept soundly and didn't snore to Eren's approval.

The brunet remembered sharing a room with his friends in the barracks and it had been night after night of chaos. Armin slept soundly- but Jean and Connie. Dear Wall Maria... What were the heavens thinking? Every freak'n five minutes the tawny head would change positions making the bed creak and Connie would never stop talking in his sleep. Sharing a room with Marco, Bertholdt and Reiner had been just as bad since the damn muscled blond would release a nuclear bomb every freak'n hour. And Bertholdt- lord knows what he's dreaming when the bed starts shaking beneath Eren.

Fortunately, Marco had been another Armin in that room.

"Stop staring and go to sleep."

Eren flinched almost jumping up from his sleeping position as he immediately pulled his blanket over his head with a severe squeak escaping his lips.

"Seriously Jaeger?" chuckled the voice deep and husky as Eren slowly pulled his blanket down so that only his eyes were exposed in order to see just who had nearly made him suffer from a heart attack.

Levi had woken up.

"Captain Levi...," breathed Eren in relief as his eyes came to fall upon the French soldier next to him.

Levi was still lying on his back although his face was cranked slightly towards Eren. The older man's eyes were mere slits as he squinted over at the subordinate trying to make out more detail.

"What?"

Eren blinked at the question, "Huh?"

"Captain Levi...," the French man imitated in the most pathetic and high pitched voice he could manage before rolling his eyes.

Eren would have been mad for the denouncing presentation if it weren't for the laugh now escaping his lips. The brunet covered his mouth with both his hands but his shaking shoulders gave him away.

"Now go to sleep, brat," uttered Levi with a click of tongue as he rolled his shoulders back and closed his eyes again.

Eren's snickering eventually died off as he stared at the Captain next to him and studied the soldier's structured body in just a plain white long sleeve. Levi had both arms out at his side laid atop of his blanket as his breathing began to even out again. The brunet's eyes traveled down Levi's neck to the older man's shoulder and then elbow until eventually Eren's green orbs came to linger on the Captain's empty left hand unmoving next to his waist.

The original plan of the expedition had been for the whole special unit under Levi and Hange to accompany them on the voyage. However when the morning had arrived and everyone had awoken, the female scientist had come dashing through the halls yelling out how plans had been changed. Apparently, Commander Erwin had been held back in the capital due to a few personal issues coming up. Because of that, the eccentric had been instructed by a messenger this morning to cut down the number of members that would be traveling with Eren and the Captain.

By the time the brunet had arrived at the scene, things had already been settled by Hange with the original plan dislodged. Due to the blond Commander's absence, it had been decided that none of the ex-shifters would accompany them anymore. However, Eren would be the only exception with the addition of the Captain obviously since the whole point of the expedition had been to experiment on the German male to begin with. The conditions became rather complicated at the implications that Hange and Levi would both be gone from headquarters though- seeing as no one would be there to make sure the base ran smoothly. That was when Mikasa had stepped forward and volunteered to stay behind. The female raven head was about at the same ranking as Hange now so it should have been fine. Armin had been iffy about the proposition though since he wasn't completely confident that she was up for the task. But then Sasha jumped in on the wagon and opted to stay behind with Mikasa for insurance as well—not that she would be much help although her presence would indeed be comforting. The whole alteration of plans had led to the group to merely consist of Christa, Connie, Jean, and Armin in addition to the other three individuals that held the whole significance of the expedition.

"Sir…?" murmured Eren quietly not sure if the French man was still awake anymore.

However to the brunet's luck, Levi responded with a grumble in annoyance, "What now, Jaeger? If you need to take a piss, do it yourself. I'm not your father, brat."

The German male smiled at the retort just relieved to know that he wasn't the only one up still before continuing on, "I know that we're still traveling and all, but when are we going to start the experiments? Hange hasn't told me anything about them, so I don't even know what to expect, sir."

It wasn't that Eren had been informed very well in the past either when plans had been made for him individually. Although the brunet had grown somewhat accustomed to being shunned in the dark, he simply couldn't help with curiosity peeking. It was all thanks to the conversation the subordinates had been tossing back and forth over the fire earlier.

"Whenever you're ready," Levi simply mumbled out before shuffling some more on his side of the tent and most likely dozing off again.

Eren paused at the statement.

What?

What did Levi mean whenever he was ready?

> _"You can't do shit right now."_

The brunet blinked at the memory as his eyes began to focus in on his Captain again. Pressing his lips together firmly, the scene from earlier with Hange snapping at Levi from her tent began knitting itself into Eren's train of thought.

> _"Shit no, four eyes. I'm higher than you on the military scale, so don't even think about disobeying me."_

Levi was babying him.

Levi was babying Eren.

The Captain was making Hange hold back on plans because Eren couldn't keep himself together.

Because Eren was afraid of physical contact.

> _"You didn't need to do that."_
> 
> _"I wonder about that."_

A sudden surge of anger shot through the brunet as he lay next to the older man. Without another thought, Eren's hand flew out from under his blanket and lunged at Levi's own having been completely exposed and vulnerable. The Captain's eyes immediately shot open at the sudden force falling upon his left hand.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" shouted out Levi as he instinctively tried to yank his arm closest to Eren away from the sudden adhering material with torso snapping up to a sitting position.

However, upon realizing that whatever was clinging to him wasn't letting go, the older man squinted into the darkness realizing that it was a 'human being' clinging to him.

No- That wasn't right.

It was a 'shitty brat' clinging to him.

"Holy shit, Jaeger," hissed Levi seething groggily as his eyes peered at the brunet lying next to him huddled in a bundle under a blanket, "If you thought that by interrupting my beauty sleep, I'd take you out to shit in the dark you're largely mistaken because I will fuck you up— I will fuck you up real good."

Levi furiously awaited a response from the brunet with a vein throbbing at his temple. But to Levi's further annoyance, Eren didn't say anything in return.

"Jaeger," Levi spat out, now even more irritated at the lack of response as he attempted to pull his hand away out of the coverage of Eren's crinkled blanket, "Shitty brat, if you think that pretending to be asleep is going to save your ass now then you need shitty glasses to give you a pair because I am going to literally kick you out of this tent."

Still, Eren didn't answer.

And now Levi was more than a little passed awake.

"Eren!" shouted the Captain as he turned to the side and yanked at the subordinate's blanket with his free hand, "What the fuck are you-"

However, the older man's words disappeared from the tip of his tongue as his beady eyes came to fall on the younger male kneeling on both knees with head hanging low. The brunet adhered to Levi with both hands wrapped around the older man's own as the subordinate hunched over himself, curled up into a ball.

The French soldier's hand was wrapped in the brunet's fingers firmly pressed against the subordinate's chest.

"I...," the brunet barely managed to whisper out not even looking up as his lanky frame in the dark began to shake, "I told you, I could do this. I can!"

The German male tilted his head up nervously as his green eyes, half lidded, glowed in the dark meeting with the French soldier's own icy beads, "I just needed time… So… Give me something small! Once a day—Twice even. More- I can handle it. Bit by bit. I'm sure. I'll work this out. I'll make it go away! So please don't tell Hange that things can't be done, because it can!"

Levi didn't respond but instead continued to look down at the trembling subordinate still curled up over his left hand. The older man could feel the erratic pumping of the brunet's heart beating fast against his detained arm.

"Captain Levi…," murmured Eren again, this time a bit more uncertainly as the brunet's gaze faltered from Levi's own.

The Captain's brow began to crease slowly at the realization of just why Eren had lunged at him in his sleep—

Or more specifically his hand.

Eren was trying to prove himself- even though the brunet was basically quaking in his bed at the action he had just committed.

"Please just…," spoke out Eren almost inaudibly as his voice died at the end, "Just don't ever let me fail you and the Commander."

Eren hated being so pathetic.

He hated being so useless.

The brunet had to fight. He had to make a stand. Being unserviceable to the Legion Scouts meant that he was inadequate to the Captain and Commander. Being inadequate to them meant that he couldn't pay his debt.

He couldn't fulfill his obligation.

"You're just human, Eren," Levi suddenly stated unable to hide the sleepiness from his voice with a subtle yawn catching the back of his throat.

Ignoring the yawn, the brunet didn't know what to make of the sentence.

Was that a rejection to his suggestion?

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," snapped the Captain rather harshly even in his state of weariness.

Eren immediately straightened his back tilting his head up so that he was about leveled with the older man although the brunet's hold on Levi's hand didn't falter.

"You took the initiative— That's a start," considered Levi with a slight tilt of his head although his eyes were still drooping slightly as he stared down at his captive arm.

Without warning, the Captain's left hand returned Eren's forceful hold with a harsh squeeze making the brunet recoil instinctively from the sudden intensity. One of the Eren's hands weakened in grip flinging away from the older man's grasp. However, Levi's hold didn't wane and caught the subordinate's slower hand in his fingers.

"Oh hell no, Jaeger," growled out Levi softly as he closed his eyes with jaw muscles flexing, "You're not going to back down now that you've taken the first step, are you?"

Eren stared down at the ground, one hand caught in the grip of the older man before him. His skin was beginning to prickle slightly seeing as all of the hair on his neck were already standing up.

"I couldn't help it!" defended Eren as his head snapped up immediately at the challenge slightly angered.

Levi's gaze bore into the brunet as the two stayed seated awkwardly facing each other.

"Take your time," spoke the Captain as he slowly shifted himself back onto the ground, "We're not in a rush."

Eren followed the older man's example and laid back down as well making sure to turn towards his Captain so that the two wouldn't have to strain their arms to stay interlinked. The brunet could see that Levi was indeed tired from the way his lids had already begun drooping again.

"I won't get in the way of progress for the Legion Scouts, sir," Eren reassured as he looked into the eyes of the older man facing him.

Levi was still holding Eren's hand although the grip had softened.

"Of course," sighed Levi as he rolled his eyes, "You never have and you never will."

Eren paused at the statement giving the older man a muddled blink. However, the contemplation in the brunet disappeared as fast as it had come. Another thought was beginning to fill up his brain.

"Once I get this under control, the experiment will progress forward then?"

The older man's closing lids opened up again slightly showing to the brunet that he was indeed still listening.

"I'll be the one to determine that, brat," grumbled the French soldier with a subtle frown painting his features.

The subordinate took in a deep breath as he continued to stare at the Captain's profile, "Thank you, Captain."

Levi closed his eyes again as he mumbled sleepily, "Now shut up and go to sleep."

"I… I'll try," whispered Eren with a soft ripple as his green orbs traveled back to his sensitive hand that was still being held by Levi.

The Captain scooted away from the subordinate as far as possible although it was but a mere few inches due to the fact that the tent was so small, "Nothing but my hand will touch you, Jaeger. I'm not going to try anything funny—not like how you did at least."

Eren face turned to a pout as he looked away from Levi with cheeks flushing a little, "I didn't mean anything bad, sir! It was just—"

"Alright," cut in Levi with a snap not letting the younger man finish, "Now just shut up and go to sleep."

Eren let out a soft whimper at the demand although he followed the Captain's instructions and shut his eyes close in an attempt to calm himself. But the slowly pooling butterflies at the pit of his stomach didn't disappear. Instead with the world so very quiet, all of the brunet's senses began to intensify- concentrating on a single sensation.

The feel of Levi's hands wrapped around his own.

'I just need to concentrate,' Eren recited to himself in the dark as he tried to relieve the anxiety hovering over his rigid frame.

He just needed to pretend.

He just needed to ignore.

It would go away.

_It will go away._

_It will._

_Just go away._

_Go away._

_GO AWA-_

"Fucking calm down, Eren!"

The brunet's eyes fluttered open at the sound of Levi's almost barely unrecognizable baritone as he realized that he was breathing—

_No— Wait a minute…_

Panting?

That wasn't right.

Almost hyperventilating.

The Captain's eyes were wide open gaping at the brunet with a concerned glint in his beady orbs.

"Breathe, Eren. Slowly," instructed the Captain to the brunet as if Eren didn't understand him.

The brunet bit his upper lips as he took in slow deep shuddering breaths over and over again with the Captain watching him intently guiding him. The German male tried to pull himself together as quickly as possible although his efforts seemed to have failed his face because Levi suddenly pushed Eren's confined hand away towards the brunet creating even more space between him and Eren. After a few minutes, the shaking in Eren's shoulders began to ease.

"S-sorry, sir," croaked the ex-shifter with a slight wheeze.

Levi continued to gaze at the younger man silently with suddenly soft orbs—melting chips of ice.

"I'm not going to smother you, Eren. I'll let go when you fall asleep," reassured the older man firmly.

The brunet shakingly pulled up his blanket higher with his free hand so that only the bridge of his nose was visible as he took in another deep breath and released it. Eren had a feeling that Levi would fall asleep before then, although the brunet wasn't going to try and reprimand his Captain for at least attempting to put in the effort to comfort him.

"Uh… Yeah. Okay," nodded the brunet with eyes watering slightly though calmer now.

The tent became rather quiet with just the slight hint of breeze rustling the tent hinges.

It was rather peaceful—almost even calming.

"Seriously, who would want to hold onto a brat's sweaty hand all night anyway," huffed Levi abruptly.

'That had to have been an afterthought,' Eren muttered to himself as a hint of laughter stroked the corners of the younger man's lips.

The tension in the German male's shoulder slightly relieved more through the older man's remark.

"Sorry, sir," murmured Eren again from under the covers rather delicately, "For troubling you. I won't do this ever again."

Levi's lids slowly sunk again— though his beady eyes never left the younger man's face, "I'm not troubled by it. If you need my hand as a starter, then use it. I'm your keeper after all. I can give you the toilet paper, but you have to wipe your own ass, got that?"

Eren tried to withhold the laughter quickly making its way up his windpipe, but before Eren could cover up his mouth with his free hand the brunet's voice had already escaped from in between his lips.

Levi clicked his tongue annoyed before shutting his lids for the final time, "Go to sleep, shitty brat."

"Yes, sir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 17 Preview:
> 
> Mikasa slowly closed the door behind her as she looked up at the older man with a dangerous glint in her eyes.
> 
> "Commander Erwin."


	17. The Second Mistake: Deep Waters

The group had made it to their destination apparently.

Having already set camp and merely settling down, the sun was near the point of setting—but of course there was still good light in the sky. It seemed that they had been traveling up in elevation—no wonder their horses had been so slow and tired these past few days. Jean had informed him that although it had taken three days to get to where they were, going back would only take a day and a half if they didn't make any stops since they would be traveling with the major help of gravity.

Two days would be the longest if they did.

"Squad Leader Hange," addressed the brunet as he made way to where she was standing contemplating over a small notebook at hand, "Why did you aim for this location in specific for the expedition?"

The eccentric glimpsed up from her notes, "Ah! Eren! Glad to see you've been doing well these past few nights. Levi looks like a dead bird right now- Ha! You two must have been going at it hard the first night. Levi was yelling out and you were whimpering like a little puppy. It must have been great, eh?"

The brunet almost tripped over his own foot, as he took in all that Hange was saying.

The eccentric leaned towards the younger man with a senile grin on her face. Eren bit his upper lip trying to cover up his reaction to the possible implications the scientist could be pointing towards. However, the brunet failed miserably as his form shrunk slightly with face tinting a blush of red.

Hange gave out a cackling laugh as she put away her little notebook, "Oh Eren! You're so fun to tease! Ha! But to answer your que—"

"Shitty glasses wanted to check out shitty mushrooms," replied a deadpan voice abruptly.

Eren tilted his head slightly to see beyond the eccentric standing in front of him to catch sight of Levi making his way towards them at a good pace.

"Levi…," whined Hange with a pout as she turned around, "You're such a spoil sport! And it's not just any mushroom! It's 'glowing mushrooms!'"

The older man clicked his tongue at the statement, "Fungus is fungus, shitty glasses. We could have gone anywhere really- as long as we were a good distance away from human population. Of course, four eyes had already made plans with Erwin without my advising, so that's why we're here in this specific area."

"So then, how long will be staying here?" Eren enquired scratching the side of his head.

"Not long," Hange answered while adjusting her glasses, "Maybe five days or so. I want to check out the plants around here, but I also still need to run my experiments on you—remember?"

Eren gave a rigid nod.

He had been expecting this.

"Will we be starting today?"

"No," Levi immediately cut in rather sharply to Hange and Eren's surprise, "We'll start when I give the cue."

Eren gave an unconvincing smile as he looked away momentarily, "Of course, sir."

Levi eventually walked away, back to the arrangement of tents, as Hange and Eren continued to linger on conversing about secret experiments that the eccentric had managed to work on. The brunet wasn't really listening as the female scientist continued to rant on and on about her discoveries and the possible formulations and conclusions she had come to. Even so, the ex-shifter sustained to nod and act as if he was interested.

A horrible thought had settled itself at the back of Eren's brain.

What if he couldn't get over his fear fast enough for Hange's experiment?

He had what— Maybe a day or two?

Maybe even less!

If Eren failed to obtain the results they wanted, that would mean that this whole expedition was a waste of time and resources.

It would be Eren's fault.

"…so by collecting those samples I came to a final conclusion," spoke Hange in a rather hushed tone abruptly, "The healing properties in your saliva are beyond extraordinary."

The brunet blinked at the eccentric finally having tuned back in, "What?"

"It's wonderful isn't it? And here I thought that the titan shifters had lost all their tributes. Of course that isn't true! It couldn't," laughed the female scientist as she shook her head numerous times, "It's just hidden and sleeping deep within your body although I'm confident you will never be able to shift ever again."

Eren's face contorted into confusion as he tried to take in what Hange was saying to him, "Wait… What?"

"Squad Leader Hange!" shouted out a soft female voice from behind Eren, "We've got the horses ready. The sun is setting so I think we can get going now."

The ex-shifter spun around to see Christa and Armin both saddled up on a single horse with another's reign in hand.

"Of course! Coming coming!" replied Hange erratically waving at them, "Well then, I better get going before the night completely swallows us."

Eren gave a nod, although the confusion on his face was still quite prominent as Hange basically skipped with glee towards the two blond awaiting her attendance.

"Hey, Jaeger," shouted out Levi from the other side of the camp site.

Eren spun around to answer the older man, "Yes, sir?"

"Get Kirchstein—we need to gather wood before night fall unless we want our asses to freeze off tonight."

* * *

 

The blond Commander loosened the top button on his uniform shirt as he sat down with a heaving sigh seated in front of his desk. He had made it back to headquarters yesterday night, but that hadn't mean that work had ended for him. The older man leaned his head on one hand as he flipped through the filed papers with the other before closing his eyes.

God, he was tired.

The blond veteran had barely been able to get a wink of sleep last night because he had been so busy trying to gather the ex-shifters (excluding Eren) together in order to make sure things were going smoothly. He seriously needed everyone to be calm before he made his move and began his plan.

His proposal.

Erwin opened his eyes warily as he put away the papers on his desk into one of the file cabinets at his feet. He couldn't believe he was really going through with this.

A soft knock suddenly reverberated from the entrance of the room.

"Come in," Erwin spoke without masking the tiredness from his voice.

The wooden frame opened as a female figure came into view. Mikasa slowly closed the door behind her as she looked up at the older man with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"Commander Erwin."

The blond veteran looked up acknowledging her presence.

"Is there something you needed?"

The female warrior slowly moved away from the door and seated herself down in one of the couches that littered the room without invitation.

She knew she didn't really need to ask for one.

"I need to speak to you of a very important matter."

"Of course," Erwin nodded as he clasped his fingers together and tucked it under his chin, "Go ahead."

Mikasa took in a deep breath silently as her eyes grew distant.

"It's about Eren."

Erwin internally paused momentarily, although his face showed no sign of his suddenly sharpening senses. Mikasa tucked a strand of straying hair behind her ear as her eyes slowly traveled up from the coffee table in front of her to the Commander seated behind the wooden desk.

"I probably shouldn't consult you," began the woman again as her dark blue eyes bore into the Commander before her, "But I felt it was necessary at this point."

Erwin listened in as his eyes were locked captive by the raven headed subordinate seated in front of him.

"Eren has developed a fear of touching people."

The blond became rigid at the statement.

"What do you mean?" the Commander asked, tense.

Mikasa let out a short exhale as her gaze fell back down to her lap, breaking away from Erwin.

"Sir, it's… rather complicated. I don't know how Eren developed such a fear, but Armin and I came to notice his strange behavior a day after the Legion Celebrations. We have a feeling that it has something to do with whatever happened the night of the party—or the morning afterwards."

The Commander gave a firm nod as the information slowly sunk in.

"That will most definitely hinder our progress, Ackerman."

Mikasa looked up as worry lined the edges of her face, "I don't think—"

"I can't relieve any of the pressure on Eren," spoke Erwin abruptly as he caught the subordinate's eyes again, "It's not possible at this point. I'm sorry."

Mikasa's face contorted in anger as she stood up from the couch she had been seated in. The female warrior gazed at the older man desperately.

"Why?" demanded the subordinate as she glowered at the man before her, "Why can't you give him a break?"

Erwin tilted his face downwards with eyes closed not meeting the soldier's pleading face.

"Commander Erwin!" shouted out Mikasa as she trudged forward towards his desk and let her fist meet with the smooth mahogany surface, "Please give me an answer!"

The Commander didn't look up.

"Eren has done well, hasn't he? The court hasn't even been on his tail lately— So what exactly are you planning? What's so important that Eren can't even rest for a bit? At least to recover!"

One of Erwin's hands slowly rose up to cover up his throbbing lids.

The fact that he couldn't remember what happened—yet Eren did.

The fact that Eren wouldn't tell him anything…

The fact that Eren had developed a fear…

It was so obvious what Erwin had done now.

So blatantly obvious.

But this wasn't the time to be feeling this way.

_No— that’s not right._

This wasn't the time to be feeling at all.

This wasn't part of his duty. To care and worry. To feel shamed or distraught. His heart was supposed to be Humanity. His soul was supposed to breathe Humanity.

Well… That's what the Commander would have told himself a few days ago.

The blond veteran's brows scrunched together.

But things had changed.

Erwin had changed.

He can’t put Humanity first.

He can’t.

All of those thoughts however were pushed away as he had to tend to the confirmation that was now being shoved in his face.

Erwin had mistaken.

He had corrupted.

He had sinned.

He had hurt…

He had scarred…

The Commander's fingers clenched harder around his cheekbones as guilt continued to plunge him deeper and deeper in self loathe.

He had soiled Eren.

The Commander gritted his teeth together as he heard Mikasa continue to angrily argue her plea.

"I would love to, but right now there's an experiment that is very important and it must be completed with the use of Eren. It can't be hindered."

"Why is this experiment so important?!" shouted out Mikasa no longer able to hold in how incredulous this all sounded to her at this point, "Have you seen Eren? He's been under so much stress and pressure he can't even be around Armin and me anymore! Is this so much to ask for? You can't possibly expect Eren to go on like this! It's downright ridiculous!"

Erwin opened his eyes, pulling his hand away from his face.

"Don't you…"

The Commander didn't look up as he continued to listen.

"…care for Eren at all?"

Mikasa's line of sight fell on the older man before her sadly as she pulled her fist away from Erwin's desk.

Erwin knew that the woman rarely begged.

She rarely lowered her pride—but this time she had.

It had been for Eren.

But even her determination had been useless in the end. Mikasa's hands clenched at her side trembling as she suddenly felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over her. The female warrior let out a shaking exhale as she felt her eyes grow hot with moisture.

"I do."

Mikasa blinked at the deep baritone.

"I do," repeated the Commander austerely as his face progressively tilted up so the younger soldier could see his profile in full.

The raven head took a slight step back gazing at the older man cautiously as Erwin brushed his bangs aside, blue eyes hardening slowly as they settled on the woman before him.

"You can ridicule me for what I have done and will continue to do, but never doubt my concern for Eren," continued the Commander as he leaned away from his desk with a stern gaze.

Mikasa's dim eyes widened slightly at the statement. Letting a bitter expression paint her face, Mikasa looked away.

"Do you know how much Eren treasures you and the Captain?" spoke the raven head as she rubbed her moist eyes with a finger, "The way Eren looks at you two…"

"It's like how you look at him, isn't it?" Erwin answered quietly as his eyes traveled to the lone window in the room in order to allow for the subordinate to calm herself down.

Mikasa gave the older man a soft nod tugging at the scarf that encircled her neck, "I couldn't possibly stand in the way of such a rigid dedication. I'm not stupid or ignorant. I know how he feels."

Erwin looked down at the empty desk before him as a subtle scowl began grazing his face, "But that's all there is to it. Nothing more—nothing less."

The subordinate took a step back abruptly suddenly snapping into a salute to Erwin's surprise.

"Ackerma—" blinked the Commander in question before being cut off short.

"Sir."

The blond veteran gazed at the female soldier before him.

"Your heart is bare."

Erwin froze momentarily as his eyes traveled to the top of his desk.

The older man gave out a strained cough, "Ah— I... I apologize, Ackerman."

Mikasa gave a rigid nod as she turned away from her Commander. She didn't need to hear anymore from the blond veteran. Not when she knew there was no way she could change the older man's decision. Trudging towards the door to make her exit, Mikasa opened the wooden frame but came to pause briefly.

Without turning around, the raven head spoke out quietly, "Sometimes that midget looks at you the same way I look at Eren."

Erwin's head snapped towards the direction of the subordinate's voice.

"Humans aren't perfect, Commander," exhaled Mikasa as she stepped outside the room and turned around to face the older man a distance from her now.

"Of course," the Commander agreed from his desk letting his eyes trail the floor until it met with the subordinate's profile again.

Mikasa pulled at the metal ball of the door towards the fitted frame but didn't close it completely before uttering out with a sad smile.

"I should let you know, I've never seen you look at Eren the same way I do."

* * *

 

Levi stood up from having bent over and turned around to survey a certain tawny head and brunet's progress in gathering wood. The sky was dimming considerably now although the trio could still see quite decently enough to pick out dry twigs and walk without tripping.

"Alright, you two," spoke Levi briskly, "That's enough. Kirchstein, take the pile and head back."

Jean gave a nod as he moved forward in order to pick up the bundle of dried timber they had made with both arms.

"You can handle that now can't you, horse face?" snickered Eren from the side as he piled one last stick into Jean's hold.

The tawny head rolled his eyes before gritting out a retort, "Dunk yourself in a well, suicidal bastard."

Levi ignored his subordinate's subtle bickering and pulled Eren aside by the hood, "This brat's coming with me. Kirchstein, return to camp and start dinner. Hange and the others should be back relatively soon. Jaeger and I need to check a few things before we return."

"Yes, sir," nodded Jean without questioning as he turned away with the bundle of timber in hand, following the zigzagged path they had created through the trees.

Eren cranked his face to the side looking at the Captain with a questioning gaze, "Sir?"

Levi didn't respond to the younger man, but instead turned away while gesturing the brunet to follow him with a wave of his hand. The brunet said nothing as he trailed the French soldier through the woods. Eventually within a good minute or two of pacing over dead leaves and fallen trees, the two made it to a drumming river.

The German male stared at the thundering current in awe as the two walked forward to stand on the rocks bordering the shore.

"You look ridiculous, Jaeger," spoke Levi from his side, "Didn't you hear the water from where we were gathering wood?"

The brunet gave a sheepish grin at the question, "No, sir."

Eren had been too busy exchanging worthless conversation with Jean as they had gathered wood, in truth. Levi gave his signature click of tongue and turned away, busying himself with inspecting the shoreline. The brunet let his attention drift from his Captain, taking a step farther onto the large damp rocks that held the bank together. Taking in a deep breath, a large grin fell on Eren's face as he was sprayed with cold beads of water from the waves hitting into rigid rocks on the shoreline.

The brunet had seen a few rivers before, but those had been small in comparison to this one. Being able to witness such a sight made the German male want to jump out of his skin. Eren wondered if Armin had already spotted this place. However, that seemed unlikely since the saddled group had traveled in the opposite direction.

"Alright, that's enough for tonight! Let's head back, brat," shouted the Captain from out of nowhere.

Eren spun around having completely forgotten that he was there with the shorter male. Recklessly trying to spot the French soldier with a snap of his body, the subordinate's footing slid on the damp surface of the grey stone he had been standing on abruptly. The ex-shifter tried to steady himself, but the rock he was occupying didn't give him enough space for his already flailing limbs making it impossible.

Bracing himself as Eren was already falling backwards and descending towards the drumming current behind him, the brunet took in a quick exhale shutting his eyes before he would hit the expected cold surface of the merciless water.

* * *

 

The freckled face ex-shifter leaned to the side with narrow eyes meeting dark glistening blue ones.

"I don't know."

Mikasa's brows scrunched together in retaliation, "You do. You just won't tell me."

Ymir gave a small sigh, "I'm not supposed to tell you. Anyone really."

"But you told Christa, didn't you?" the Asian soldier retorted in a hushed tone.

The freckled face ex-shifter rolled her eyes, "Oh, come on, Mikasa. She's the only exception—just like how Armin and Eren is to you."

"If you understand that, then tell me what in the hell is this experiment that the Commander is going on about saying it's so imperative," responded Mikasa rather impatiently.

The Asian soldier was losing her patience.

No. She wasn't losing it.

It was already gone.

Everyone seemed to know something.

Everyone seemed to be aware of something.

Something that she seemed to be unaware of.

And even with her plea and arguments—no one was willing to answer her.

The female warrior had just had enough of it.

"Fine. I'll go ask the others then," spat out Mikasa as she turned around swiftly.

"Wait."

The raven head paused momentarily at the voice.

"I might be able to answer some of your questions."

Mikasa slowly turned around to see a certain short blond women at the other end of the hall, staring speculatively at Ymir and her.

"Really now?" challenged Mikasa with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

Annie met the sharp gaze with her own readied stance, "You want to know what's been going on don't you?"

* * *

 

The Captain barely made it to the piece of thick drift wood as the current dragged at his body, attempting to pull him back down into the unrelenting waters.

What in the hell had he been thinking?

Running after the brat like that?

Well, he had certainly made it in time with the supersonic speed he had somehow managed to achieve within a few mere seconds. However, the cost of dragging the brat's ass away from falling was him not being able to stop his own body as he had swerved right into the drumming current of the river.

Levi clung to the damp piece of rotting timber- his only life support at the moment- as the icy liquid continued to pass over him, tossing his body about. The French soldier had already discarded the majority of his clothes in order to keep himself from sinking any more than he already had. The only thing left that was still clinging to his lean frame was his white button up shirt in addition to his cargo pants that led to his knee high boots.

The head soldier knew that even if he somehow managed to not drown to death, he would soon be suffering from hypothermia without doubt, due to the icy temperature of the water running passed him. The French soldier was already no longer feeling the majority of his body save the sensation of pressure here and there. Even with the lack of sense though, the man was aware that he no doubt was littered with injuries from having impacted with the shore and basin rocks, sharp and jagged due to the river's erratic pounding

Levi tried to keep his body from stiffening up by periodically kicking at the thick liquid swallowing the majority of his profile as he was dragged down stream. Quickly re-adjusting his position, the French soldier swiftly surveyed his surroundings. He could see the shore line passing by faster than ever.

Levi didn't know how to swim.

But he knew how to fight for his life.

And so that was what he would do without doubt.

Just as the river hit an angled bend, Levi caught sight of two rather large rocks smoother than the others. The stones were still a ways from the shore. But if he could somehow aim the piece of drift wood between the two large dull marbles, then without a doubt, he could stop himself from being dragged further with the current.

Just as the Captain kicked hard at the waters beneath him in order to change his position, a faint shout echoed from somewhere. Unfortunately, Levi was much to concentrated at the moment to care as he finally made it to his planned location. Shoving the piece of drift wood in between the rocks, the French soldier turned towards the shore warily as he dragged himself across the damp log carefully in order to make sure the dead timber wouldn't break from under his hold. Traveling at a decent pace, seeing as he could barely feel his body now, the distant shout that had passed over him resounded louder this time catching the older man's attention.

"Captain Levi!"

As the head soldier made it to the jagged rocks that littered the shore, the Captain sluggishly tilted his head up not having expected to see a certain brunet running towards him completely out of breath. However, Levi's grip on the rubble lining the borderline of land and water was much too unstable at the moment to address the brunet. Ignoring the younger man dashing towards him, the Captain's grip on the wet rubble became rather unstable. Levi could feel his form begin to shake with effort as he attempted to heave his numb body up.

"Sir! Take my hand!" shouted Eren anxiously as the younger man made it to rock that the older man was dangling off of.

The French soldier's head snapped up knowing full well that he was failing to pull himself up from the drumming current. Having heard the offered aid, the raven head instinctively stretched out his free hand to the younger man above him.

However, when Levi looked up he saw green eyes trembling with worry.

Without a second thought, the Captain's numbed hands that had been reaching out snapped back to his aching side.

"S-sir?!" questioned Eren, taken aback by the sudden gesture.

_What’s Captain Levi’s problem now?_

Levi's brows scrunched together as he gave out a harsh grunt. Feeling the skin on his fingers rip from holding onto the cold stone so hard, the Captain heaved his shaking body up without the help of Eren. The German male stepped back hesitantly as the Captain came to a kneeling position, having rejected younger man's help.

"Captain Levi?" spoke Eren worriedly at the man's side as Levi began wringing out his clothes, "Are you alright?"

The French soldier quickly combed his raven locks to the side, so as to brush them out of his eyes. The older man stood up from his kneeling position, swaying slightly. Eren would have reached out to the man again if he hadn't been reminded about the French soldier's rejection a moment ago.

"Sir, I'm sorry for--," began the brunet, unable to conceal the anxiety and apology written on his face.

However, Levi cut him off, brushing the man's words aside, "We have to get back."

Eren watched as the older man walked forward, ignoring his presence, "Wait! Sir! You're soaking wet. At least take my jack-"

"It's fine. Keep it on," Levi interrupted again without even turning around to acknowledge Eren, "It'd be worst if both of us got sick."

The brunet bit his upper lip as his brows scrunched together.

The German male followed the older man's quick pacing silently, although he could hear the slushing sound Levi's boots were making with every step. The older man's shivers didn't go unnoticed either, and it made Eren all the more frustrated. As the ex-shifter tailed the French man, his eyes analyzed the man's profile, noting where Levi's shirt had torn here and there. Not to mention, the slight blood staining the white cotton in multiple places…

Eren grinded his teeth together doing his best not to let his anger slip through as the minutes passed on with the two traveling in silence.

The German male had offered to pull Levi up from the river.

The older man had refused.

The brunet had offered to apologize.

The Captain had refused.

Eren had offered his jacket.

Levi had refused.

Eren couldn't do anything.

He was useless. Utterly usele-

"Shit."

The brunet blinked, coming to an abrupt stop just as he realized that his Captain too had stopped in his tracks.

With head snapping up, Eren was about to address the French soldier--

Well… That was, if only Eren had been able to make out his figure.

"Sir?" called out Eren rather uncertainly.

"It's too dark to travel—and we don't have any matches either," rebounded Levi's voice from somewhere in front of Eren.

"We…," began Eren as his eyes slowly adjusted to the dark somewhat, "I ran after you quite a long ways. The current was so fast I thought… Well, I guess we'll have to stay here for the night, sir?"

There were some shuffling noises to his side as Levi answered him, "Seems like it—shit."

"Is there something wrong Captain Levi?" Eren called out as he turned to the side where he had heard noise from earlier.

"Nothing, brat," answered the older man somewhat edgily, "From the looks of it, you have bad eyesight since you're speaking to a big ass tree right now."

Eren's face went up a notch as he swerved around, trying to identify his Captain in the dark, "Sorry, sir!"

A quiet chuckle reverberated from behind the brunet suddenly, "I was just joking, Jaeger. Now you're really talking to a big ass tree."

The German male bit his upper lip as his face heated up even more in the dark.

The brunet's brows scrunched together in plain frustration and embarrassment, "Ah… Urgh! Captain! Stop playing around with me! This is serious!"

"Yep. Definitely— Have your eyes adjusted to the dark yet, brat?"

Eren blinked a few times trying his best to identify anything he could. The German soldier could faintly make out the silhouette of the trees to some degree although the forms were definitely hard to separate if there were a good number of trunks clustered together. The ex-shifter was aware that although they had distanced themselves from the river—he could still hear the drumming water.

"Somewhat sir," Eren finally answered after a minute or two of contemplating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 18 Preview:
> 
> Sir Won gave a knowing smirk at the raven head.
> 
> "Did you seriously think that you really meant that much to him?"


	18. The Second Mistake: Tangled Threads

The fire was going pretty good with things progressing quite well luckily.

Hange and the others had just returned and had already begun unsaddling their horses. As Jean stirred the thick stew he had made from dried meat in his pack with the help of Connie, this was perhaps the first expedition where the gang would actually get a series of good night sleeps in addition to a full meal without having to worry about titans chasing their butts back and forth as they fended for their lives.

Jean stirred the contents of the pot as Christa came by and added in some herbs that she had found in the woods while having been out with Hange and Armin. The tawny head gave the woman his thanks as he continued to watch over dinner silently.

It was strange to think that all he had to worry about at the moment was cooking and weather. It was almost too foreign—to no longer have to stress over the fact that titans were the top of the food chain in this cruel world. Even so, Jean continued like always making sure to check up on the others and pulling out his needed utensils in order to make the stew to completion.

"Hey, Jean," called out Armin as he approached the taller soldier, "Where's Eren and Captain Levi?"

Jean gave a shrug as he turned around to acknowledge the bobbed blond, "Just a ways in the wood. The Captain said he needed to check up on something with Eren."

"Oh...," was Armin's answer as he let the response hang in the air.

The tawny head pulled away from the fire and sat down on a stomp, "Captain Levi said that they'd be back by the time you guys returned, but I guess it's taking longer than they anticipated."

Armin gave a nod at the statement, "Well, it's almost completely dark. Hange actually had wanted to stay longer out there, but I insisted we get back before the light completely died out on us since we didn't bring a lamp or anything."

"Well, let's hope they get back soon. The temperature seems to have dropped some degrees without a doubt. Been awfully quiet too."

"Yeah... Wonder why...," contemplated the blond male soldier thoughtfully as he too seated himself on another stomp around the fire.

* * *

Levi slumped against the thick oak tree with a heave of his body. He was most certainly aware that he could no longer sense the rubble beneath him— or the roughened bark lining his back as he eased against the thick wooden body morphed into life by Mother Nature.

All he could feel was pressure.

Pressure on his back.

Pressure on his legs, on his thighs…

And when his fingertips brushed against the ground; pressure on his stiffening flesh.

Would he make it till morning?

Of course he would.

Of course.

Eren was lying on the ground a meter or two across from him, poised at a rather uncomfortable angle of his own as the brunet attempted to catch some shut eye. That was perhaps the best Levi could make out as he squinted into the darkness. The sky offered little light, seeing as a deep layer of clouds was now occupying the night. The crowns of the tall trees weren't helping the Captain's vision either. With a sigh, Levi cranked his neck sideways uncomfortably as he closed his lids, letting out a small grunt crossing over the silence. The French soldier let his thoughts swim about as he shuffled in his sleep.

Levi's faith in his subordinates was strong.

Stronger than anything.

He swore it.

And yet…

And yet for some reason it hadn't been strong enough… Strong enough to shield himself from his own doubts that had surfaced like turbulent waves without warning a certain evening.

The man's brows scrunched together as his eyes continued to remain closed.

How in the world had he become so muddled in Eren's situation that he had mentally accused his very own soldiers? The very soldiers that had served under him for over a decade? The very men and women that had sworn their life away in the blink of an eye and had never hesitated to sacrifice their limbs for what Humanity had hoped to achieve even once?

Levi gritted his teeth silently.

It hadn't mattered that the Captain hadn't said anything pertaining to his suspicions that evening to Armin or Mikasa. It hadn't. Because when Armin had made his exit, leaving just Mikasa behind to speak with the French soldier, he had heard it loud and clear from the female warrior.

"You don't trust me."

There hadn't even been an ounce of hesitation in her words. The statement had been said loud and clear. Intentional. Having had been caught off guard, the Captain had looked up at the woman shocked to some degree, although he had been quick to empty his face of any reaction.

Even though Armin had stated that Mikasa had left the cafeteria early to attend to a scuffle, there was no guarantee that she never came back to search for Eren and her friends that night of the incident. No one seemed to have been keeping track of the female warrior, so Levi couldn't downright rule her out as the main suspect. Although, that also meant he couldn't say she was innocent either.

The Captain continued to knit together his trail of thoughts since he knew that the person that had hurt Eren couldn't have been Jean or Connie. The bobbed blond had been sure to inform him earlier that day that the two had left before Eren and himself had even finished cleaning their mess of a party. Jean had been barely able to stand and Connie had been much too tired to wait for the whole group to disband. Sasha had stayed behind with Armin to clean as the blond had recalled and told the Captain. Luckily, that meant that the only people left that could have possibly been able to do anything to Eren were Mikasa and the ex-shifters.

The thing was…

Levi would have dismissed Mikasa as a suspect outright if she hadn't displayed such a strong attachment to Eren for such a long time. If the Captain hadn't known better, he would have assumed that the brunet and she had gotten together long ago. However, Eren had laughed at the prospect of such a thing a few years back, leaving Levi to wonder if the raven head had been sporting an unrequited romance. Fortunately for the French man, such a topic bound to reach gossiping lips hadn't been really his cup of tea at the time and so he had abandoned the thought. But with the downright depressing situation that Levi had found Eren in—such a conclusion might truly be significant now.

Affection was a two sided coin after all. If not controlled and looked after, muddled feelings could most definitely transform into an unrelenting attachment and craze… The Captain grimaced as he leaned even more heavily on the oak wood.

Moving along to the ex-shifters, Bertholdt and Annie had been with Hange, save when the eccentric had told Annie to meet up with Eren. However, Hange had most definitely told him that Annie had left for no more than five minutes. Not enough time for a person to assault Eren with the amount of force witness from his wounds. Bertholdt in contrast never left the eccentric's side and had even helped the foolish scientist back to her quarters due to her own stupidity of having drank too much. So that left him with only one other ex-shifter.

The only thing was, would Eren have really hesitated to hurt the tall buff blond? Compared to how close Mikasa was to Eren, Levi wanted to say that Eren would have downright killed the man if he had needed to. However… Although the two ex-shifters had been enemies at some point, Levi's witness of the final court calling had allowed for the older man to see that Eren had been hesitant to allow for the court Marshalls to kill Ymir and the others. Even though they had most definitely betrayed humanity at one point…

Levi exhaled weakly as he bit his lower lip in order to ignore the suddenly prickling sensation his arms and legs were feeling, not even noticing how his train of thought was becoming more and more disarrayed by the second.

After Mikasa's statement of the older man not trusting her, the French soldier had of course stayed silent… Not dismissing the accusation as false nor apologizing. Even so, Mikasa had charged straight onwards into the whole point of her lingering to speak with him even with a lack of answer.

"As I have said before, someone hurt Eren, sir," the woman had stated firmly, "And I am confident that it was Com—"

Levi had immediately cut in without warning, "Enough."

However, Mikasa had stood up from her chair and continued where she had been cut off, glowering, "It's Commander Erwin."

There was a silence that had engulfed the room as the two tense figures had stayed where they were; Mikasa standing and Levi behind his desk.

"Sir?" the girl had gritted out, cutting the tense atmosphere with her words.

"Elaborate," Levi had snapped rather gruffly as he somewhat too hastily stood up from his seat.

"It's obvious isn't it? The only person that Eren has been avoiding has been the Commander," Mikasa had responded with a hint of annoyance at the back of her throat, "The only person that Eren has been afraid of is Commander Erwin Smith, sir. I know Eren. I know when there's something wrong. I'm not stupid. You're not stupid. Eren is an open book."

Levi had gave a nod, signaling that he had heard the woman.

Having slowly been trudging around his desk, he had begun heading towards the exit of his office. Latching a hand onto the doorknob, the man had turned his head slightly to the side to glimpse at the soldier behind him.

_Mikasa doesn’t understand._

She didn't understand that the only reason why Eren was afraid of Erwin was because the blond Commander had the power to hurt Eren's friend. Erwin knew about the German male's situation and could at any moment spill the beans to the brunet's friend without warning. Eren was relaying edgy activities because of that. That was all. Levi had glanced down at his hand that was still holding onto the door knob.

Mikasa's intuition was usually right, but one thing hadn't changed about her over the ten years that she had spent under the French soldier's wing. She was emotionally too attached, and that gave way to her rationality at certain points. Although it had been troublesome, the raven head's skill and fast reaction had made up for it. Levi would pardon the girl's ignorance again this time. Like he always had.

"I understand."

And with that statement the Captain had attempted to turn the door knob…

That was where everything had spiraled downhill.

There had been a scream.

A yell.

Some scuffle.

A bit of struggle.

But mostly…

Just Levi being thrown around by Mikasa, and him doing so to the woman in return.

Levi hadn't been stupid when Armin and Hange had burst into the room a few seconds after Mikasa's upsurge. He hadn't even flinched as he had stared into the raven head's dark blue eyes, trembling with anger. The only thing that the older man had been able to hear over Armin's frantic questioning and apology was the anger that he had read from Mikasa's eyes.

How dare he dismiss her.

Levi knew that he was partially at fault for being so haste about excusing himself, but about ninety percent of Levi's instincts had already set up Erwin for the course of innocence. The French man just couldn't imagine the older man taking advantage of Eren in such a violent way. Levi rolled his eyes at the thought of the blond Commander and Eren in a relationship.

Yes. That could be possible. But the thing was, the two weren't in a relationship and most likely it wasn't going to be happening any time soon with Eren so hung on avoiding physical contact. Levi chewed on his upper lip.

The French man did his best to avoid becoming irrational, reckless, and impulsive. The qualities that made a leader weak. He had trained himself over the years to be calm, patient, and witty; ready to fight at any given moment, but prepared to steel his mind when circumstances became dire. It was a talent of his that he had polished and honed with ease. Even with such long standing experience and control over himself though, he hadn't been able to govern his thoughts that evening well enough apparently. The Captain tilted his head to the side slightly trying to gain some leverage in order to keep himself sitting straight up against the trunk of the tree behind him.

"What a stupid accusation," the French man muttered to himself under his breath.

What a ridiculous declaration the girl had made.

The almighty blond Commander assaulting a subordinate?

And not just any subordinate, but Humanity's last hope?

Not to mention Eren was a full grown man.

Last time Levi checked Erwin had been pretty straight. The blond man had been in love with Virgin Mary or something…

_Something among those lines…_

The French soldier couldn't remember clearly anymore. His mind was growing hazy.

Even so, Levi chuckled bitterly to himself.

> _"The only person that Eren has been afraid of is Commander Erwin Smith, sir."_

_Erwin doing such a thing to Eren is just impossible._

It was just that Mikasa didn't understand the situation fully. If she did, the female warrior would agree with him that Erwin was innocent as well. The blond Commander was just trying to help Eren. Yes. That was most definitely it. Even Hange would agree with him. Hell, the whole militant pigs would agree with him. Mikasa was being rash. Her tuition was usually right, but this time she had most definitely crossed the line.

_What a joke._

_What an absolutely ridiculous joke._

* * *

Pixis stepped slowly around the room surveying the Commander's office, "It's too bad things have to end like this, eh?"

The noble leaned to the side staring at his gawdy rings, "We do what we can, and salvage what we must."

Suddenly the sound of heavy footsteps echoed from outside the Commander's office, approaching the small quarter with little ease. Within a second, the door to Erwin's office was kicked open. All of the three older men turned to the side in order to see just who it was that had been so keen so as to not have the brains for manners.

"Com…," breathed the female raven head harshly, "…mander."

The seated noble turned around, gradually tilting his head slightly to the left in order to glance back at Erwin with a quirk of brow, "So this is the girl?"

Erwin gave a light nod.

"Commander!" yelled out Mikasa rather harshly, "You and Eren are…"

"Yes, Ackerman?" the blond questioned with a practiced smile as the girl continued to try and catch her breath.

The female soldier fist curled up at her side glaring at the three older men, "Annie said that you and Eren are-"

Sir Won stood up from his seat scratching the light stubbles at the side of his face as he cut into what the girl was trying to articulate, "Rushing in with such a blemished profile—not to mention the rudeness. How lovely."

Mikasa tilted her head down to glower at the stubby man before her, "And who might you be?"

"Now now," coaxed Pixis from the side with short cough, "We shouldn't be getting too ahead of ourselves."

The raven head straightened her back and saluted the bald military veteran at the corner of the room, "Sir Pixis. It's good to see you."

The bald man gave the girl a reassuring smile before stepping forward with a gesture of his hands, "This is one of the supporting nobles of the court. Sir Won. He's here on light business with the Commander."

Mikasa's eyes slowly traveled from Pixis back to the rich noble before her, "I see. I apologize for my rudeness, sir."

"No need," responded the man with a dismissive sigh, "So you had business with the Commander, am I right?"

The female warrior took a step back, "It's fine. If you all are busy, then I would rather not intru-"

"No, go right on ahead," cut in Sir Won with a roll of eyes, "If whatever you had on your mind was so important so as to come rushing in like you did, I am sure that the conversation we were having before would most definitely be dull in comparison."

"I…," began Mikasa rather begrudgingly at the man's statement.

Stealing a glance at the blond Commander for reassurance, the female warrior took in a breath as she spoke again, "I heard that the Commander and Eren were… an item."

Pixis quirked a brow at the statement slightly confused, "An item?"

Erwin blinked at the proposal flabbergast, "Me? As Eren's lover?"

"It's the truth, isn't it?" spat out Mikasa bitterly without warning, "E- Eren… he… He chose you, isn't that right?"

The blond Commander turned to the other two men in the room with him, at lost for words.

Pixis rubbed the back of his head with a troubled expression, "I don't know what to say…"

"Oh," Sir Won suddenly cut in, "but I do."

The female warrior still occupying the doorway's head snapped up back to the bearded noble with an expression of unease.

"The Commander has told me all about it," Sir Won continued shaking his head in a wary manner, "About how Eren Jaeger has been completely head over heels in love with him. It's nothing too surprising. Sexuality has no importance when it comes to intercourse last time I checked, save preference."

"Don't. Say. That," gritted out Mikasa as her eyes jabbed at the fat man standing in between her and the other two men.

"All I'm saying is that it was an obvious choice, was it not?" Sir Won continued on, waving his hand about in the air like a conductor, "You couldn't have possibly done anything that could compare to what Commander Erwin Smith has provided for Humanity's Hope now, could you?"

Mikasa blinked at the conclusion with face contorting into a mix of surprise and defense, "I—I have done as much as I can to help Eren. What would a noble like you know of the life of a soldier?"

"Oh… Very little," laughed the pudgy man, "But I would like to ask just how much you truly know of Eren Jaeger? People change now don't they? He's served under the Commander for what? About a decade? How would you know if he suddenly had a change of heart?"

Mikasa turned her head to the side with a snarl, "I know Eren. No matter what, he would have chosen me. I was at his side when the walls fell on Shiganshina. I was at his side when he failed to accomplish what the damn court wanted of him. I was at his side when he was on his knees coughing up blood. You could never understand what he means to me!"

"Ackerman," spoke the Commander from behind his desk in an attempt to seize the situation, "Calm down. "

Sir Won gave a knowing smirk at the raven head.

"Did you seriously think that you really meant that much to him?"

* * *

A deafening sound whipped against his eardrums as he stirred sluggishly awake. Constant droplets of cold hit into his face, and it made the frown painting his features become even more prominent. He woke up slowly a sudden chill racking his body into uncontrollable shivers. Letting a hiss escape from between his lips, the brunet's eyes groggily opened.

Strangely enough, the sky was scattered with clouds of different lengths of shape. However, with the moving wind cutting through the atmosphere, a sliver of white moon was able to peek through the thick haze that occupied the sky. With the moonlight showing down through the crown of the tall trees, Eren could see white fluff and flurry glowing in the night. The German male pushed himself from off the ground as he squinted into the darkness. Snowflakes fluttered about as he pulled his jacket tighter around himself.

"What the…?" Eren shivered as he blinked a few times, rubbing at his eyes.

It was snowing.

"Captain Levi…?"

It wasn't just snowing.

It was a blizzard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 19 Preview:
> 
> He sucked gently, making sure to leave a thick trail of wetness behind for insurance, as he pushed the older man's thighs apart even further.


	19. The Second Mistake: Until I Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hohoho~~.
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

Eren crawled out from where he had been sleeping, all the while covering his face with both hands in order to see in front of him.

"Captain Levi?!"

It was so very strange that a moment ago he could have sworn the night had been as calm as a summer evening, but now the Earth begged to differ. The wind was so strong that Eren couldn't even see beyond three feet in front of him. Even so, the German male did his best to navigate about the howling wind and snow covered ground. Unfortunately, the brunet's efforts of being careful failed when he stumbled and fell over onto his knees with both palms digging flat into the icy snow. Eren bit his lower lip as he quickly pulled himself back up, attempting to reheat his now freezing hands. As the German male span around however, he came to realize just what it was that had littered his path a few moments ago.

It was a foot sticking out of the snow.

No— it wasn't just a foot.

Eren immediately got onto his knees and began casting away the thickening layer of frost atop of the lifeless limb. Within seconds, the German male realized just who it was that had been buried by the thundering blizzard's precipitate.

It was Levi.

"Sir— Crap. Oh god… Sir! Sir!" panicked Eren, attempting to get the older man out of the layer of crystallized white as fast as possible.

Brushing aside as much of the flakes from Levi's immobilized body as he could, Eren realized that Levi's back was at least still eased against a tree trunk which had kept him upright. The man's head was hanging down quite low now, tilting to the side at a much too awkward angle. The younger man's fingers were freezing as he quickly surveyed the area around him.

They needed shelter.

_No… That’s not right._

Levi needed shelter.

Levi needed warmth.

Eren gritted his teeth as he stared down at the French soldier before him. Levi was pale… So very pale. And of course, the German male hadn't failed to notice the purple and blue tint that was now painting Humanity's Strongest's fingertips and lips. The brunet glared down at his hands, with scrunched brows, then back at his surroundings again.

_There’s no place to hide._

Eren knew that.

They weren't near a waterfall, so there would be no way to find some sort of cave to sneak in for the night. Nor was there time to build a barricade of wood and rocks. The resilient wind would most likely knock the weak structure down anyway… Not to mention, it would take too much time. And with the way the French soldier at his feet was looking, Levi could most likely be dead by then if he wasn't already.

The Captain would be dead.

The German male blinked.

Levi could die.

_Why?_

Because the stupid ex-shifter had let himself slip off the edge of an eighty percent safe proof shore rock.

Eren glared down at his feet as anger began to etch his vision, and tears began to form from frustration. Humanity's Strongest? Dying on a freelance expedition instead of during the war with titans? Pathetic. That's what they would all say… That's what the court Marshalls would most definitely say. And Eren knew it.

The brunet reached forward to take a hold of the front of Levi's shirt—only to flinch from contact. As long as Eren avoided skin to skin exchange, he could get by marginally well now, thanks to Levi's short hand holding sessions. He was sure of it. So when the German male had recoiled from his Captain, it hadn't been because his fear of touch had risen exponentially. No. It hadn't. The reason had been because Levi's clothes were frozen. Frozen stiff. As stiff as the apple crates made out of wood from the farmer's market.

If the Captain's clothes were in such a state already, then most likely the cotton material would have adhered to the older man's skin as well. Levi had been drenched in freezing water right before night had fallen, hadn't he? Eren let out a harsh curse. If the ex-shifter pulled at Levi's clothes, the older man could possibly lose a large amount of skin, and the brunet didn't want that. Levi could bleed to death if that were to happen. And if not, the older man could catch a disease from open wounds to infection.

The brunet took a deep breath as a thought began to form in his mind. A plan. A vision. However, the German male's face contorted in confliction as he continued to watch his Captain, unconscious and bare to Mother Nature's wrath.

There were many choices Eren could make, and he knew that all choices had a given outcome. Levi had told him that. Humanity's Strongest had drilled it into his head. The loss of Levi's squad had not been forgotten. It was still etched into the very heart of his memory. There were many possibilities. But no matter how many, the ex-shifter already understood that he would never choose any other options, save the one that would relinquish any of his comrades from the hands of death. The brunet had lost too many and for far too many times. Never again would he let his friends die. Especially not in this era free of titans. Especially not Levi, the very man that had saved him so many times.

Eren exhaled. He had to do it. And he had to do it alone. He had to kill it.

The brunet knew... Yes, he knew that he could let it live. Eren could let his fear live. He could choose to not kill it. Instead, he could choose to let it grow and manifest itself in his all too mortal body. And though the state of his build could develop and become worse, it could, in the end, remain untouched as well. It could be possible for the German male's condition to simply just stay put. Of course, the ex-shifter didn't know. Only time would tell. The brunet scowled. It was TIME that would tell. Something that Eren didn’t have right now.

The German male was afraid.

What if Eren put too much on his shoulders and his condition simply worsened from the sudden abundance of stimuli? What if the challenge of saving his senior comrade only lead to him fleeing from the scene on instinct of survival even though Eren knew that he wouldn't necessarily die from fighting against his own fearful urges? Or could he? The worst scenario that the brunet could conjure up was him suffering from a panic attack. And although the German male could die from such a thing, he was sure that from his condition he would only pass out. But of course, passing out meant allowing for Levi to possibly die… Again.

_This is it._

Eren exhaled.

_This is the plan._

The brunet laid Levi down onto the ground, easing his arms and legs onto piles of higher snow and making the male look like a convulsing star fish. The brunet remembered seeing one of those in a page of one of the banned books Armin had been able to get his hands on in their distant childhood. Ah… That had been much too long ago.

Taking off his jacket, Eren covered Levi's unconscious body, tucking in the corners to help the man retain as much heat as possible. The brunet quickly scanned the area when his green orbs finally spotted a tree with rather excessively large roots. Without a second glance, Eren dashed over to the figure. The ex-shifter reached the wooden spindles at the base of the spruce which almost looked like giant sized spider webs. Eren was grateful, because the higher the roots stuck out from the ground the better to protect them in the night.

Quickly getting onto his knees between the junction of two of the titanic roots, the ex-shifter reached down into the ground and began digging—first removing all of the snow and then eventually meeting with dead leaves and other decaying matter that made up the soil for a good foot or two. Not even caring to dig with even depth, Eren began to create a concavity between the thick large roots that stuck out of the ground.

Eren couldn't keep track of the time. All he knew was that he had to hurry. The wind continued to pick up and it wasn't helping the German male much with his digging. Even so, Eren did his best to hunch over the ditch that he had created in order to keep the snow out as much as possible. When the ex-shifter found that his hands had finally finished, he realized that he could no longer feel his fingers which had been scraped raw from the hard earth.

_Does it matter?_

Eren's lips formed a thin line. Did he matter? No, Eren didn't. And the brunet knew that. But Eren needed to exist. He needed to survive for as long as he could so that Levi would make it. So that the French soldier could live on.

Eren blew hot breathes onto his fingers trying to heat them up so that they wouldn't stiffen. There was dirt all over them, so the German male wiped his icy fingers onto his white polo shirt. Eren would have wiped his hand on the snow, but they were much too stiff and numb already to come in contact with the soft white again. If Levi had been awake, he would have surely scolded him.

_There’s nothing to stop me from doing what I have to do._

The ex-shifter got up from where he had been kneeling and quickly spun around dashing towards Levi again. As the subordinate made it to his Captain's awkwardly laid out body, Eren leaned over the man and took hold of Levi's shoulders. The warmth that he should have felt from the body was most definitely absent at the moment. Eren's brows scrunched together anxiously.

He had to hurry up.

The brunet pulled Levi off from the ground and dangled one of his Captain's arms over his neck. The sensation was utterly repulsive to the German male, but the anxiety bubbling in Eren and the adrenaline that was making his pulse throb from Levi perishing was much too great, occupying the forefront of his mind. Even as the brunet felt his stomach flip, he clung to Levi's heaving body, clawing against his own internal instincts to let go and flee. Blinking away tears and trying his best to take in as much air as possible, Eren quickly wrapped his free arm around Levi's waist and began dragging the man across the snow covered forest ground.

When Eren had finally made it to the ditch that he had created, there was already a thin layer of snow littering the area. The brunet laid Levi against the left side of the ditch allowing for the unconscious man's shoulder to ease against one of the thick tangent roots as he kneeled again on the ball of his knees and dug a bit more to clear off the white flurry.

Without further pause, Eren took off the jacket that he had placed atop of his Captain earlier and laid it down into the ditch. It didn't cover much area, but it was the best that he could manage. Reaching over to Levi again, this time the brunet dragged his Captain over and into the ditch, doing his best to be gentle. Although, Eren was sure he failed. Once the Captain had finally made it atop of the jacket into the circumference of the hole, Eren paused for a second to catch his breath and calm his nerves down.

Eren wasn't even sure what was leaking on his face anymore—whether it was tears or sweat from his undying efforts.

The brunet took in another deep breath before he lunged forward to fix Levi's posture, making sure to place his Captain's limbs out of the ditch so that Levi looked like he was offering himself up to the skies. If Levi was already suffering from hypothermia then the best Eren could manage was to at least get the majority of the older man's blood circulating back to the core of Levi's body. The Captain's posture was absolutely ridiculous. If the French soldier's soul had already left his body and had been watching Eren, the older man would have most definitely killed his subordinate by now. Luckily, the ex-shifter didn't really care at the moment.

The brunet hovered over Levi's immobile frame for a second, hesitating. The German male gave one last look over Levi's body, sprawled uncomfortably in the half assed ditch that Eren had managed to somehow create with his human strength alone.

_This is it, isn’t it?_

Eren's mouth had gone dry. This was his plan, wasn't it? Blinking, the brunet felt tears trickle down his cheek as he frantically unbuttoned his shirt, although not taking it off fully. Once all of the plastic holders had come off, Eren grabbed the wrinkled flaps of his polo and shaped it over Levi's frost bitten sides as the German male pressed his body against Levi's own, molding their frames together in one swoop. The brunet stayed like that for a good while shifting slightly to get better coverage as he felt the chilling air clawing on his back.

_Sacrifice your pride._

_Sacrifice your good relations._

_Sacrifice yourself._

Isn't that what the brunet had told himself?

Eren shivered profusely with teeth clattering nonstop. His breaths came out short, though the subordinate was much too caught up in saving his superior to notice anymore. Just as Eren had hoped, Levi's clothes began to unstiffen from the warmth, expectantly dampening from the sudden source of heat. Another good while passed before Eren finally pulled away from the French soldier beneath him.

With ice-covered fingers, the brunet reached over to Levi's feet, taking off the man's boots. Eren was surprised to find that there was no water inside his Captain's footwear. The older man must have dried it before going to sleep because a good amount of liquid should have flowed into the concavity of the leather when they had been at the river. As the brunet plucked off Levi's knee high footwear, the German male thanked Levi's picky habits and placed the pair to the right side of the ditch against the tree's thick root.

Turning swiftly back to his Captain, Eren began unbuttoning the front of Levi's shirt as quickly as possible. Taking hold of the head soldier, Eren was able to yank off the older man's top, although not without a few casualties. Even though the German male had done his best to not injure the French man, Levi still lost a patch of skin here and there. Eren's face crinkled in worry as he saw the surfacing blood on Levi's pale flesh.

With good fortune, bleeding was only found on the older man's front and not back. It must have been because Levi had been leaning against the tree earlier when he passed out. And thus, the icy wind and snow hadn't had as much effect on the French man's shoulder blades.

Strange how nature worked its way around.

Once Levi's shirt came off, Eren quickly worked on getting the man's pants off as well. With a quick flick of hands and a few uncomfortably awkward tugs, the ex-shifter somehow made it through to where Levi simply laid limp on Eren's fluffy jacket with just plain white boxers. The brunet could see that Levi's shirt, having been taken off, was stained with blood most likely from the ripping of skin from earlier. Luckily, both the pants and shirt had atleast begun to turn flimsy no longer imitating the hard bark of foliage from having been frozen.

Quickly folding Levi's pants into a neat bundle, Eren tucked the brown khakis into one of Levi's dried boots, which was hiding away from the wind next to the protection of the tree's large angled roots. The ex-shifter turned his attention back to his Captain and realized that Levi's boxers also had patches of red on them. The brunet guessed that it was due to when he had been trying to yank off the French soldier's pants. Eren's body heat must have not reached far enough passed the thick cotton, thus the older man's underwear had still been stuck to Levi's skin when the subordinate had pulled at the older man's trousers.

The sudden stretch and tugging must have injured the Captain.

Eren's face turned to a scowl.

_Damn it all…_

The idea that Levi had become so very delicate made Eren's stomach lurch, adding to the sickening sensation already at the pit of the brunet's stomach. The subordinate pressed his lips together, doing his best to keep his breath even as he continued to work on the older man beneath him.

He couldn't give up.

No, Eren wouldn't give up!

The German male took off his own khaki pants.

They were a bit dirty, but they were dry and actually quite warm in comparison to Levi's own. The brunet placed them atop of Levi's torso doing his best to not get blood on it, but, at the same time, achieve in keeping the French male warm. It seemed Eren only accomplished the latter. With that completed, the brunet reached forward and pressed his chest against Levi's crotch.

_Well, this is awkward…_

Eren knew that ten years back he would have been a red as a tomato. But with a decade of surviving death, dirt, and blood, the brunet had come to care less and less in reacting like a blushing bride. Survival was priority and all of the ex-shifter's friends knew that by now. The German male had grown and become unrelenting in the goals as a soldier... and as Humanity's Hope.

Well... It seemed that Eren wasn't necessarily Humanity's Hope anymore.

The brunet wrapped his hands around Levi's thighs as he felt the material beneath him dissolve slowly. When the cotton shorts had become flexible enough, Eren quickly worked on getting them off of Levi as well. The brunet was sure that if the situation had been any different, Eren would most definitely have been thinking about whether or not he was committing a crime by undressing his superior in such a crude fashion. But fortunately, the stress along with the constant fear of not being fast enough to save Levi kept the ex-shifter from letting his mind drift from the single goal of reviving Humanity's Strongest.

Throwing Levi's boxers next to the French soldier's abandoned boots, Eren completely took off his own uniform and attempted to redress his higher up in his clothes--- save the underwear because Eren knew he would need that.

Thank goodness Eren had longer limbs than Levi! The brunet's cuffs reached just far enough to where it covered up the older man's toes and fingers, although still having an additional material of two inches or so. Eren smiled reassuringly at that and folded the material over Levi's feet and hands, tucking it under the ball of the French man's joints. The brunet was about to button up his shirt and zip up his pants onto Levi when he ripped the skin on his right index finger accidentally from pulling on the zipper too hard. Eren cursed at the additional pain being added to his boat and instinctively pulled the injured finger into his mouth to stop the blood.

_Damn it all..._

His limbs were dying on him already. Eren's body was not necessarily as strong as when he was a titan but it was strong enough to take note of. The extreme change of temperatures, constant loss of limbs, and daily bruising had most definitely been healed by his titan powers in the past. However, the pain never ceased to be eased by his abilities to heal. And so Eren had gotten used to feeling pain, being dragged down by unknown forces that clung to his muscles, and tossed about by higher powers unknown to himself.

With a quick momentary suck, the German male spat out the crimson liquid mixed with spit onto the swirling snow behind him and turned back around to get a move on with his progress in preserving Levi's heat. However when Eren pulled his hand out of his mouth to quickly see the damage that had been done, he realized that there was an intense burning sensation on his finger. Eren immediately panicked. Could it be that Eren had been poisoned? Frantically looking down at his hand, Eren inspected his injured limb. The brunet hadn't even touched anything that could have possibly inject some sort of venom in his body. The ex-shifter was sure of it, unless while he had been digging too hard he had been bitten by---

_This low churning…_

A silent zing that didn't necessarily hurt, although was still very prominent… The brunet bit back the suddenly cold silence that was swallowing his mind. As the German male gaped down at his hand, he realized what this familiar sensation was. It was exactly like from when he turned into a titan. Eren blinked. But he was just human now. Eren was just human.

He swore it!

_So then how…_

Eren's injured index fingers didn't mend immediately like how it would have in the past to the brunet's surprise. Instead, Eren's saliva had hardened into a thin layer of honey like goo, protecting the ripped flesh and numbing the pain once the burning sensation had quelled. As Eren inspected the substance, he realized that, although his spit had little viscosity, the now golden substance on his finger, neither mushy or sticky, had adhered perfectly to his skin. It was almost like dried liquid glue. The kind that Armin's grandpa used to use to repair old books that had spinal damage.

Eren began to panic wondering just how this was all even possible. Could his titan powers be returning back from the amount of stress that he was receiving at the moment? What if Eren accidentally turned into a titan at this very moment from the strain?

_No..._

_No!_

The apprehension in the subordinate rose erratically as he searched his surroundings. If Eren turned into a titan and had control of his body, then the subordinate would no doubt use it to his best capabilities in getting Levi back to camp. However, what if Eren turned to a titan with no control? With Levi in such a weakened state who would kill him? Mikasa wasn't here. She was second best. Eren was sure that Jean and Connie could tag team and try to beat him down, but the insurance of their skills couldn't possibly kill off the fear that the brunet could possibly end them in such a state of insanity.

_What should I do?_

The subordinate swallowed. If he continued as he was now would he turn into a--

 

> _“The healing properties in your saliva are beyond extraordinary.”_

Eren froze. A distant voice was echoing. It was rebounding and filling up the crevices of the German male’s jumbled thoughts.

 

> _“It's wonderful isn't it? And here I thought that the titan shifters had lost all their tributes.”_

Slowly, Eren could feel his memories clicking together like a puzzle.

 

> _“It's just hidden and sleeping deep within your body although I'm confident you will never be able to shift ever again.”_

The shadows of the clouds passed over momentarily as white flurries of snow continued to hit Eren's clattering body. Trying to conjure up to the best of his ability the recollection of the crazed scientist yapping away, Eren thought hard. He thought hard. So hard. Could he trust Hange? Hell, what in the world was he saying? Of course he could. But the question was, could he trust himself? Could he put faith in his memories? Could he truly believe that what he was recalling at this very moment truly real? And that he was not just hallucinating due to desperation and anxiety which made him recall false recollections?

Eren closed his eyes. If the German male as remembering correctly, this meant that he hadn't regained his powers necessarily. No. He was still human. Very human. He was still mortal. He could die.

But…

Eren gazed at Levi who was sprawled on the ground, unarmed and completely vulnerable beneath him. Eren continued to stare at Levi's profile eyeing the patches of red contrasting against the older man's pale skin tinted a faint blue and purple here and there from the cold and past damage of the river.

But Eren now had an advantage if his memory was serving him right.

An advantage that he would use no doubt. Although the ex-shifter was confident that if Levi ever found out about this, he would surely slaughter him like a pig farmed for bacon. Even with that thought in mind though, the German male pulled forward with his judgments. What if there were side effects to Eren's abilities? What if it only worked on his own body and not others?

 

> _...so by collecting those samples I came to a final conclusion_

If Hange had collected samples then most likely the crazy scientist had taken small vials of his saliva unknowingly. The thought made Eren grimace. Hange must have then proceeded to test it on... living things. If that were so, then that would mean that his advantage could work on Levi.

_It should. No. It will._

It was true that Hange's speculations most of the time were strange and unnerving. However, her accuracy in observations of the world were most definitely. No matter what, if the eccentric wanted something, she would always find a means of getting her hands on it. Having spent ten years plus with her had most definitely allowed for the brunet to give her a good amount of trust and credentials. The brunet stared down at himself as the moonlight lit behind him, and the wind continued to howl on with untainted flakes of pure white passing by.

 

> _The German male had offered to pull Levi up from the river._
> 
> _The older man had refused._

Levi was his Captain. Levi was Humanity's Strongest.

Eren blinked at the train of thought running through his head.

 

> _The brunet had offered to apologize._
> 
> _The Captain had refused._

Levi was important. The man had to live.

 

> _Eren had offered his jacket._
> 
> _Levi had refused._

Each and every time. It had been the same. It had been the same over and over and over... But not this time.

 

> _Eren couldn't do anything._
> 
> _He was useless._

NOT. THIS. TIME.

Without further hesitation, Eren leaned over the man working his way down from Levi's nape. The brunet opened his mouth as he spotted the first red patch of lost skin on Levi's neck. Pressing his open lips against the tender flesh, the ex-shifter sucked just momentarily before spitting the blood back out onto the pure fresh snow piling behind him. Eren quickly turned back around to lap at the area again cleaning it with his tongue as he pulled his jacket from under Levi around the man's arms, which were no longer outside the ditch but instead fitted neatly at Levi's sides.

The German male made sure to press his body against the French soldier so that the man would continue to receive heat as Eren worked on patching up his Captain's body as best as he could. The ex-shifter eventually finished with the wound at Levi's nape making sure his saliva had turned to that specific golden honey before moving onto the next spot.

> _"You're just human, Eren."_

Eren sucked and licked and cleaned. His hands were so dirty. And although he had done his best to clean it with Levi's blood stained shirt, he hadn't taken the time to thoroughly get the grime and dirt off his palms. Because of this, Eren decided to rely solely on his mouth. So it was Eren's tongue alone.

> _"You're not going to back down now that you've taken the first step, are you?"_

The lurching in Eren hadn't stopped nor the trembles, although the brunet could no longer tell if it was from the cold or the utter repulsion he was feeling at the moment. The ex-shifter didn't find it very pleasant in tasting blood and dirt mixed together. Nor did Eren find comfort in pressing his body against Levi's own so profusely.

> _"Breathe, Eren. Slowly"_

As the subordinate continued to work on the older man beneath him as effectively and fast as possible, Eren took note of the wind, which had begun to slowly die down. The younger man continued to work on the wound at his Captain's collar bone which trailed down to the older man's chest ending just at the peak of Levi's right nipple. Eren stuck his tongue out, flattening it across Levi's exposed torso to cover a larger amount of area and spread more saliva on the French man's firm chest. Eren couldn't believe that doing something so dirty could be so effective in such a situation.

> _"I'm not going to smother you, Eren."_

And yet he recalled of a time when his father was still alive and had been studying medicine at home. Although the brunet's memory was fuzzy, he was sure that he could recollect of his parents arguing over the topic of whether a dog's saliva actually had any beneficial healing properties. Eren grimaced at the thought of comparing himself to a dog. Well, it wasn't like he hadn't been compared to a canine before, right?

Eren gave Levi's nipple one last hard suck to finish it off as he watched his spit dry again on the French soldier's skin. Suddenly Levi stirred beneath him. Eren froze in place. Humanity's Strongest didn't awaken however, although Levi's lips parted slightly with inhalation becoming more erratic. Eren cursed at himself. The brunet hoped that he hadn't hurt the man further with his action—attempting to be gentler with the proceeding area above Levi's hip bone.

Before Eren leaned down again, the German male pulled the tails of his shirt, which Levi was wearing, together and buttoned it up. The point was to keep the older man warm. Hopefully, that would help Levi to some degree as Eren worked on the French man's lower region. The subordinate pulled down the pants that he had put on Levi just moments ago until it came just above the knee so that he could have better access to the man's thighs.

Eren knew that this was wrong on so many levels, but the brunet seriously didn't want Levi suffering any nasty infections… Not to mention, there had been a good amount of blood on the older man's underwear when he had taken it off. Without further ado, Eren stuck out his tongue and lapped at the older man's hip as gently as possible. Thank goodness his saliva worked as a numbing solution in addition to imitating a band-aid once it dried up. Levi just had to endure the first few seconds of pain. Although... Eren was sure that if Levi were awake, the man would have most definitely been cursing between his teeth over the German male's bold act.

The German male eventually made it past Levi's hip and into the older male's nether regions. Eren thanked the lords that Levi's dick was unharmed. The blood that had stained the older man's underwear had come from the area of creased flesh between Levi's thigh and balls. Eren cautiously spread the Captain's legs apart, though he had hesitated for a second. Eren wondered what others would say about him doing this. Even the ex-shifter's body was rebelling against him. His iron will of physical boundaries shook at his mind like a steel bar, telling him this was something he was not allowed to accomplish. Nor should he even attempt.

Would this make him the same as…

As when…

When Erwin had hurt him?

Without the other person's consent, was what he was doing the exact same thing as what the older blond had done to him? If Levi found out about Eren lapping at the older man's body like a dog, he would most likely be disgusted. He would be repulsed. Levi would hate the German male for life.

_Or…_

_Or will he really?_

Eren wasn't completely sure because this was a life and death situation. Compared to when Eren had stumbled into Erwin's office, he was confident that what the blond Commander had done could not be compared to what the brunet was doing at the moment.

_Or... Or can it? Well…_

Eren's brows scrunched together. The brunet had gotten this far hadn't he? If someone was going to do something, they might as well do it as good as they possibly can…

_Right?_

Eren's brows scrunched together. Was Eren right? Was he? But no one was there. No one was there to guide him. No one was there to help him choose… Everything about this was utterly… And suddenly so very appalling more so than it had been. But it had to be done. And with only Eren here, no one else could take his place and make this choice for him. If Levi found out about this and was truly and completely repulsed, then so be it. Eren had made his decision, hadn't he? The brunet was willing to be hated. To be ostracized and shoved away from the world. To be rejected by the very people he loved and cared for. As long as they continued to live on. As long as they could continue to move forward.

Eren's eyes blazed with a new found goal. He wouldn't stop now. He wouldn't.

With mouth opening, Eren bent Levi's knees into a weak M as he began working. He sucked gently, making sure to leave a thick trail of wetness behind for insurance as he pushed the older man's thighs apart even further. Eren needed better access, so he drew the pants Levi wore down a few inches lower as he continued to lap down on Levi's firm and smooth thighs. Suddenly the Captain began to shudder. Eren froze with mouth still on Levi's flesh. The French man began trembling. Weak at first and then strong and unnerving until finally the shudders evened out. Coming to the conclusion that Levi was not in pain nor awakening, Eren continued on, progressing forward.

The German male did his best to avoid Levi's genitals as much as possible as he worked around the older man's thighs. Of course, the ex-shifter definitely had a hard time since Levi's size was quite notable and took up quite a large amount of space. As the time passed, Eren could feel his Captain's flesh begin to warm up rather excessively. Finishing up lapping at the area just to the left of Levi's balls, suddenly Eren heard an audible moan being carried away by the wind.

_Oh god…_

Eren gave Levi one last quick suck before spitting dirt and blood onto the snow behind him again.

_Oh god…_

_Oh goodness._

The brunet could feel a heavy flush painting his face like a fresh canvas as he moved himself away from Levi's nether regions and back up again. Eren was freezing, and he was sure that the amount of frostbite he had gained through the hours from which he had invested in Levi would no doubt show up later when they got back.

_If we ever do._

Even with that thought in mind though, the German male couldn't erase the realization that he had made his superior moan. The sound was so very strange. So very unnerving.

_So very—_

With a quick move of hands, Eren pulled Levi's arms up so that they crossed over his body. Fixing his pants back on Levi, Eren noticed how the French Soldier's fists were balled up. Eren wondered why as he pressed his ear against the older man's chest, checking the French male's heart rate with his right ear. As Eren did his best to wrap the flaps of his fluffy jacket around himself and Levi, he pulled Levi's legs towards the older man's chest into a fetal position in order to cover up his superior's body more effectively. If anyone was passing by, they would have most definitely wondered if Eren had lost his mind being in such a position with Levi. Although Eren laid bare, save his underwear and the flaps of his jacket barely covering up his shoulders, the brunet hardly had the heart to care.

Even with the wind having died down, the ceaseless snow didn't stop falling. Nor did the air warm as Eren laid atop of the older man beneath him. It was true that, yes, Eren couldn't feel his legs and arms anymore. And it was most definitely true that, yes, perhaps Eren would be the one to die tonight in the blizzarding cold. The ex-shifter's cheeks were flushed and his head; light and airy now. His erratic breath, whether from panic or pain could no longer be distinguished.

_Somehow… Someway… Levi will survive._

Eren closed his eyes as he buried his face into the nape of his superior. Carefully, Eren dragged one of Levi's hands out. Inspecting the closed fist silently, he noticed there was dry blood at the corners of his Captain's crumpled hand.

_Ah…_

_Levi's fingers…_

They were bleeding too.

Eren was much too cold and tired to really do much anymore, really.

He knew that.

The younger man was at his limit.

Even so, slowly Eren blew hot air onto Levi's frozen fingers and massaged the vein and palm so that the Captain's hand would relax. With trembling effort, Eren was able to get the French soldier's hand open. As the ex-shifter exhaled a shuddering sigh, Eren opened his mouth to bring his Captain's finger in between his lips one by one. Eren sucked, lapping at the injured limbs with as much effort as he could muster all the while spitting the blood and dirt to the side away from them. Tears were surely trickling down Eren's face. Although, he could no longer feel such a sensation on his burning cheeks.

Even so, Eren smiled.

_At least Levi’s breathing is normally now._

_At least Levi’s warmer now._

Although Eren was aware that his superior was possibly running a fever at the moment, there wasn't much he could do anymore. The best Eren could muster was to keep the older man warm as possible and hydrated. Eren opened his eyes blinking a few times as he stared at their surroundings.

_Hydrated..._

The wind had suddenly died without warning.

_Damn it all..._

Eren pulled away from Levi momentarily, although he could feel his muscles protesting and whining at the amount of effort he had to use just to mobilize himself a few inches. Eren made sure to re-zip the fluffy thick coat back up so that Levi could retain the heat that he had gained. The ex-shifter barely managed to crawl over to the side as he dragged himself with trembling arms forward taking a big chomp of fresh snow. The brunet crawled back to his unconscious superior.

_God, Levi would kill me for this._

Eren grumbled to himself internally.

But hell, what did that matter at the moment?

The brunet brought both of his raw shaking hands onto his Captain's face as gently as possible, cupping the older man's rosy cheeks bitten by the cold though damp from sweat. Eren stared down at Levi's expressionless face, save the slight crinkle of brows which was most likely from the distress that his body was being put under. The ex-shifter's half lidded green orbs trailed down his Captain's face from his thin brows to the bridge of his nose and then to the chapped and cracked skin of the French soldier's lips.

Cautiously, Eren used his thumb to pry open Levi's mouth. Although hesitant, Eren pressed his lips against the older man's own letting the large amount of cold melted snow flow into the older man's own cautiously. When the younger man had only just a little bit left of cold liquid in his mouth, he stopped and spat the rest out onto the ground. Color seemed to be returning to his Captain's face luckily. Eren breathed harshly as he unzipped Levi's jacket again and pressed his body against the French man's own. The German male curled up against Levi's burning body.

If one of them wouldn't wake up tomorrow morning, the brunet prayed that it wasn't Humanity's Strongest.

> _"Go to sleep, shitty brat."_

Eren closed his eyes unconsciously nodding.

_Yes sir..._

 Eren answered the distant memory without thought.

_Yes... Sir..._

_Ah..._

_Finally..._

"Er...en...?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 20 Preview:
> 
> So warm and wet.
> 
> Ah… Levi wanted more.
> 
> He needed more.
> 
> This wasn't enough.
> 
> This couldn't be enough.


	20. The Second Mistake: The Monster

 

The world was nothing.

The scenery surrounding his body, silhouetting his immobile frame, was nothing as well.

Everything was nothing.

There was no form, no light, no darkness, no shape.

That was his answer.

The only thing that was something was the sensation prickling at his skin.

The tug and sucking on his flesh.

Something was lapping at his chest—strangely maiming his body into life.

Levi would have pulled away, but his paralyzed frame held no response to the thoughts running about in his brain. The only thing burning in him was the uncoiling desire churning up at the bottom of his stomach, turning his insides out. Suddenly, the nothingness that Levi had been unable to identify wasn't nothing anymore. Instead, it was a heavy figure hovering over him, tending to his immobile body fervently, sucking at his hip and down to his thighs reaching lower and lower until—

"Ah!" gasped the French man unexpectedly.

The storming sensation at the bottom of his stomach was swelling, making his breath tremble out in such a way that his resolve to escape weakened.

A creature.

No.

A monster…

A monster, molded from the very shadows of nothingness, hazily hovered before his naked body exposed and immobile.

Incoherent words were weakly mumbled out from between Levi's lips.

It was going to eat him.

A tired sigh escaped the French man.

It was going to devour him inch by inch.

And strangely enough, the Captain seemed to be quite alright with that.

It was going to envelop him in his failure to fight.

Perhaps his declination to defend himself was due to the fact that the man was simply too weary at the moment to care anymore.

Its wet tongue dragged across Levi's paralyzed body without word. The creature had no eyes-- nor limbs, and yet its very body was most definitely pressing against Levi's own, making the Captain's lungs quivered with every inhalation.

Another sound escaped the French man's lips.

Disgusting.

That's what Levi should have been saying.

Repulsed.

That's what Levi should have been feeling.

And though the French male knew that his brain wasn't functioning correctly, he couldn't stop himself from allowing his body to just play along. Suddenly the fluid creature pulled away. Thinking that perhaps the monster had finally heard his unconscious plea, the French male was about to breathe in relief when he felt his naked legs being pried apart. Even as the wet appendage dragged across his quivering thighs, Levi didn't put up a fight.

His body was too frail and his mind too hazy.

He was simply too tired.

Too weak.

The French man's exposed body was surely being displayed with legs in the air much too lewdly. The Captain knew he was open to the unknown monster's wrath from head to toe. And though the man hated to admit it, the sensations running down in between his legs felt too good to reject. Even the French man's arms, which were at his sides, simply shot out a plea, asking to be drunk from the creatures slithering tongue. The monster's wet appendage lapped at his balls, and its ununiform lips sucked fervently at the Captain's creased flesh with lost intentions. Levi tried to fight against the natural instinct to submit and melt into a puddle of a panting mess.

It was useless though.

The man could feel it.

Levi was failing himself as his eyes rolled back.

_No…_

The Captain was losing.

_Shit…_

The cursing man felt his body stiffening.

Humanity's Strongest was losing to himself and his inner desires.

_So dark._

"Ahn!" gasped Levi.

_So dirty._

"Nngh…!" whimpered the man.

Levi harshly gritted his teeth together as he felt his body tremble in ecstasy.

The sensation of the creature's tongue…

Suddenly, it almost didn't feel like a monster eating at him anymore.

It almost felt like a person down there devouring him…

Prodding at his trembling flesh…

"Fuck…," gasped Levi as he felt his toes curling.

He was on the edge.

_So close…_

_So very close._

The Captain let his eyes close shut. Even so, the hidden desire to reach forward to take grasp of the thing attached to him didn't cease. The French male wanted to feel just what it was that could make him feel so weak and hopeless. So lost and desperate. Levi sensed something press against him again though only for a moment before pulling away.

It was warm.

So warm and wet.

Levi wanted more.

He needed more.

This wasn't enough.

This couldn't be enough.

Again, the weight of a body pressed against him. The Captain felt something pry at his mouth gently before digging in between his lips in order to get his mouth to open. And just when the warmth that the French man had called upon was all but about to devour him into a scorching heat, cool lips pressed against his own and a pleasant rebound met his parched throat. He felt his body burning everywhere but the icy liquid flowing from whoever it was that was attempting to keep him at bay from turning to ashes seemed to have revived him.

_Strange..._

Without warning, the heaviness that had attempted to devour his limps suddenly dissipated, although quite slowly.

But just the fact that the strange force that had held him down before was beginning to fracture relieved the Captain.

Fighting against exhaustion, the French soldier found that if he tried hard enough he could reach out to whatever it was that had saved him. Wrapping his shaking arms around the thing with eyes closed, Levi let a satisfied sigh escape his lips. And suddenly, the sensation of the mans unwarned embrace became so very real. So very firm and sharp. And Levi swore, it wasn't a monster he was holding.

No.

It was a human being.

Levi tried to open his eyes but the world was much too bright so he let his lids rest. Humanity's Strongest let his fingertips trail down the person's back slowly letting all his senses concentrate on the feel of the stranger's damp and sweaty skin. The unknown person's shoulder blades; they were so smooth and firm. Levi found his hands moving down the stranger's back with fingers tracing the dip of the unknown person's form.

This felt nice.

So nice.

The person smelled like pine needles and freshly fallen snow.

Levi leaned in pressing his lips and nose into the crook of the stranger's neck. If the Captain tried hard enough he was sure he would be able to see the person above him- the one keeping him at bay from losing himself. The French man squinted against the bright light that seemed to block out his vision doing his best to clear his senses.

Who was it? Who was the person that had surely saved him from drowning in his own empty numbness? A blurry mop of dark brown contrasting against the light... Tan skin wrapping the lean muscles of a trained body...

"Er...en...?"

Without warning, a crushing sensation enveloped his body just as he flew up from the heaps of blankets that had been covering up his pale frame. Levi's eyes shot open as a harsh gasp escaped his lips.

"Yeeeee!" screamed Hange into the older man's ears as she continued to embrace him without stop.

Levi tried to shove the eccentric away from him, but his attempts were too weak much to his annoyance.

The French man croaked as he slumped feebly against the soldier's hold, "The fuck's…going on…?"

The scientist laughed as she pulled away from the shorter man.

"Goodness, Levi! Here, here!" directed Hange as she guided the head soldier's palms onto a mug of steaming liquid, "Clear your throat first! Come on! Chop! Chop!"

The older man's eyes hung drowsily as his body tensed with exhaustion and a little something else that he need not mention. The man took a sip of the warm drink in his hands as his eyes slowly surveyed the tent he had been placed in. This was the larger of the few tents they had carried with them that had been meant to squeeze in three people. Strangely enough, the whole place was empty, save Levi and Hange in addition to a number of ragged bags that held paper, notes, bandages, and medicine.

If the French man was in a tent then that most likely meant that somehow Eren and Levi had made it back to camp. The last thing that the raven head could remember was leaning on a shitty ass tree and staring at the brunet across from him who had been attempting to catch some shut eye. Save passed that, everything else was simply a blank canvas. Hange pulled at one of the bags at her feet and crossed legs rummaging through its contents.

"Alright…," grinned the eccentric, "Here's some medicine. For the headache. You're temperature has gone back to normal thank goodness! You were scorching when you got here on Eren's back though. We all thought that you might lose to the cold. Goodness! What were you thinking? Taking a swim in the river fully clothed! Not to mention the already dropping temperatures in this elevation."

Levi frowned at the female scientist as she handed over a few pills to him, "Really? Is that what Eren told you? That I willfully jumped into the damn river to go skinny dipping?"

"No," laughed Hange as she put away the rest of the junk that she had somehow pulled out from the backpack along with the medicine, "Of course not, clean freak! But you might as well have."

Levi rolled his eyes as he took the drugs with his mug of goodness, "So the brat brought me back to camp on his own. Wonderful. Fill me in."

No, Levi was most definitely not thinking about a certain dream having just passed.

Hange leaned forward tilting her head on one arm as she stared up at the ceiling of the small tent silently in thought before muttering, "I completed five experiments on Eren. We've just got two more—"

The Captain immediately stiffened at the suddenly introduced topic.

The eccentric didn't back down however and continued speaking with a smile plastered on her face, "Don't worry, Levi! Armin and I have worked around Eren's issues as you should already know I am aware of- thanks to you breaking a special teacup of mine."

Levi turned away from the woman with a grim expression.

"Eren took everything fine though if you didn't know!" responded Hange as did her best to defend herself, "And we only have two more experiments left. See? If Eren's gotten this far, then all should be good don't you think?"

The Captain knew that Hange was simply trying to convince him to give her the OK in finishing up the rest of whatever Erwin had been planning since way back. However, the older man was hesitant. If Eren had been the one to carry the French man back then that meant that Eren had indeed made progress in accepting physical contact with people. Although from what Hange had mentioned, it seemed that even with the amount of progress that Eren had made from holding hands to carrying someone on his back, Eren was still a bit iffy about touching others.

But Eren was good enough now.

Good enough to work through the experiments although with a few accommodations which was completely reasonable.

Levi gritted his teeth.

If Hange had already completed a good number of experiments, then why hadn't she just went gone right ahead and done the last two? What would be the difference since the eccentric had already ignored his orders? Finished five. Two more should be fine, right? It wasn't like Levi was in a state to stop her from doing what she wanted at the moment.

So why was the female scientist here telling him about this? Why hadn't she taken advantage of his weakness and done what she wanted? Even with the open opportunity to bypass Levi's objection, Hange had chosen to immediately speak with him about the topic when he had awoken. Was the eccentric looking for reassurance? Or was it really that the damn shitty glasses still held a single inkling of respect for the great almighty Captain? Or was this just their friendship coming into play?

But Levi was aware that although Hange cared for their companionship, when it came to science or Erwin's orders she always backed down.

"Levi," spoke Hange cutting into the man's thoughts, "So, how about it?"

The man blinked.

The eccentric sighed at the older man's obliviousness, "You know that it's important I complete these experiments."

The French man slumped all the while sitting as he rubbed his weary eyes.

He was sure that he had slept for a good day or two seeing as the female scientist had just told him that she had been able to complete quite an abundant number of experiments with Eren already.

This wasn't good.

That meant that they were running out of time.

And yet, Hange still had the insensibility to come and ask Levi to give a second opinion when it would have been so very much more convenient if she had ignored him all together and done what Erwin had instructed.

"You say that, but this is something you seriously want to do as well, isn't it?"

Hange paused momentarily thinking about the question before answering, "Yes."

"You know I'll reject. Need I remind you why I refused this whole shitty thing in the first place, shitty glasses?"

"Look Levi! I said we'd cut off an arm or two and probably gauge his eyes out if need be but it's the only way I'll be able to test if my theory is correct or not!"

Levi knew now.

Yes, perhaps Erwin had ordered it.

But Hange wanted to do it for her own personal satisfaction as well.

The reason why Hange hadn't done the following two experiments, which would lead to the completion of their task, was because it most likely wasn't needed. It wasn't needed to satisfy the court Marshalls. It wasn't needed to accomplish whatever Erwin and them wanted to achieve.

However…

The damn shitty four eyes still wanted it to be done because it was an open option.

Even though Eren was in the state that was he in.

No harm in gathering more information, right?

Might as well use the damn brat while you can, right?

However, with Levi's rejection the female scientist had grown weary on whether she should really complete it or not anymore it seemed.

"No. There's no point in doing any additional experiments if you're just going to mutilate the damn brat for life, shitty glasses," gritted out Levi pulling the thick layers of blankets to the side.

He was sweating like a pig.

"But Levi!" snapped the eccentric with pleading eyes, "It's only two left! We might as well complete them while we still can. There's only a day left or so. The whole point of our seclusion was so that I could get all of the experiment done in time without—"

"I know," spat the French male, "Yeah. I know that the whole point of this was to complete the experiments that were needed. But I can see that these two additional experiments aren't NEEDED, Hange. What you've done is enough already, isn't it?"

Hange stayed silent.

"And even though it's enough to shut up those fucked up nobles, you still want to do more for whatever reason you think is beneficial to Erwin's plan, am I right? Why? If the concluding two experiments could scar the damn brat for life, why would you insist on doing it anyway? Didn't you say you had 'other' experiments you still wanted to do on Eren?"

Didn't Hange have any common sense left in her tiny ass brains?

The female scientist let out a sigh, "It's a sacrifice we are willing to make."

Levi paused.

'We? Ha… What a joke,' Levi steamed in his brain.

"Look. There's something that I want to know pertaining to whether we can manipulate the little power that the ex-titan shifters have left. From the way you're wounds healed, I'd say that what Eren did was most definitely effective enough to save you albeit drain him of his strength a good amount. If somehow we could use that to our advantage we-"

"What are you talking about?" cut in Levi almost too quickly.

Hange was quiet as she stared at the older man's body.

The French man's face turned into a scowl as he followed her stare towards his hunched over frame. He had a loose white t-shirt on along with black shorts it seemed. Hange must have changed him for better wear from his uniform that most definitely should have been tattered and dirty from his adventure down the river. As Levi smoothed over his skin with his fingers he found that the bruises he had obtained through the episode being tossed about by Mother Nature's urine was most definitely still there but his cuts and tears weren't visible anywhere. Even his fingers which he clearly remembered injuring had no state of tenderness that he would have expected.

"What…," spoke Levi with eyes widening at the realization that he had absolutely no open wounds on his body.

The eccentric laughed at the man's reaction.

"What did that brat do to me?" Levi spoke barely audible.

Hange scratched the side of her head with a nervous smile, "I have a hunch, but I'm not completely sure since I wasn't there myself. You should probably poke at him about it when you get the chance. I would have asked him, but I think I've been requesting quite enough from Eren lately as it is. But anyway. About the experiment?"

Levi hissed, immediately turning his attention back to the eccentric at hand, "No. Don't. Screw Erwin. I'm tired as fuck which I'm sure Eren is to. Whatever it is that you're thinking, it isn't enough to push the brat passed his limits. If Erwin had insisted you do this though it was unnecessary—which I can see him doing that, four eyes—tell him I was too weak and we couldn't risk Eren possibly doing something rash without me one hundred percent on my feet."

Hange pouted steaming as she leaned on one of her hands. Levi bit his upper lip as his brows continued to knit together.

"It's fine though, Levi! Eren won't be able to transform. I told you already! From my long standing collection of data, it's all good. The only thing that could happen is Eren dying- and see? No one is going to get hurt at all by our browny! So don't sweat it. Besides, like I said we only have a day or so left so we have to hur-"

"Just shut up. SHUT. UP. The whole point for me being around isn't so as to only make sure others don't get hurt by Eren- but also so that he won't hurt HIMSELF! Or in other words, people won't hurt him. You need to clean out your ears because it seems you aren't prioritizing-"

"No. YOU listen, Levi!" snapped the female scientist surprisingly sitting still as a stone statue with fury suddenly burning in her eyes,

Levi's own grey orbs sharpened at the suddenly challenge though he said nothing.

"You are so freaking worried about me KILLING Eren that you're holding him back from progress. Stop being so freak'n selfish, clean freak! Erwin wants this, but he cared for Eren too much to ask of me. See? Erwin has some heart too! You should know that! I want this—hell. I NEED this, Levi! Eren NEEDS this too. No. We all NEED this! Just because of your own insecurities and anxiety, you want to fight against this. Why are you so hung ho on this? We're not wasting Eren's life if you're excuse is 'I don't want to waste my soldiers on this crap,' alright?! We're using it to further everything that we've gained so far. And like I said! If all goes well then Eren won't DIE!"

"Even if Eren doesn't die, he'll end up being a damn fucked up and decapitated mop of shit! It's as good as being dead, dumbass!" spat the French man angrily, "Eren is just human now! Don't you understand that?"

Hange gave an exasperated wave of hands into the air, "I know that. We all know that! Hell! Eren knows that! We're aware of it, don't you think? I mean, duh? But even so, Eren is willing to go through with it because it'll be better than him sitting around and doing absolutely NOTHING!"

"Squad Leader Hange."

Both Hange and Levi paused at the suddenly introduced third voice.

The two had been so caught up in their heated argument that they hadn't even realized that Eren was at the entrance of the tent with Armin by his side.

"Eren!" shouted Hange—her anger completely dissipating, "Weren't you still sleeping? I thought-"

"Hange," silenced Armin with a grim expression, "Christa found something that you might be interested in."

"Oh…," blinked the eccentric with a surprised expression.

The woman paused before responding with a sigh, "Alright."

The female scientist uncrossed her legs and crawled out of the tent.

"Eren," Armin spoke with a huff, "Stay here and take care of the Captain. Hange and I will be back in just a bit."

The brunet gave the blond a quiet nod as he took off his boots and crawled into the tent.

Levi sat there, his hair a mess. Once Hange and Armin had walked a good distance away from the tent, Eren let out an exhale that Levi hadn't realized the younger man had been holding.

Levi looked up at the subordinate sluggishly. He knew that his own profile probably looked like shit. The French man was silent as he stayed where he was.

"Are you better now?" Eren started out quietly.

Levi turned away before quietly responding, "Don't know— shitty glasses said that I'm alright though. The experiments— Hange said she tried to accommodate you."

"I know. She didn't need to," said Eren with a weakly childish huff.

Levi scowled at the statement, "That's what you always say."

The brunet chuckled at that, "I know. But they didn't have to. Really. Hange was just being so overly sensitive about the whole ordeal though so I let her do what she wanted. You told her everything didn''t you?"

Levi didn't answer.

He wondered if Eren was accusing him, but he wasn't sure.

"Armin said he knew my condition but from what I could tell, he wasn't aware of anything else—"

"Did it help? Whatever they did," cut in Levi with a grunt.

"It was comforting," smiled the brunet as his eyes met with the older man's own.

"Good," spoke Levi as he settled back into his bed patting at the layers of wrinkled blankets atop of him.

"Sir, I know I'm only human now," Eren suddenly stated in a solemn tone.

Levi stayed quiet.

He wasn't sure where this was going.

The brunet continued as he scooted closer to his Captain lowering his voice as if people would hear him, "I know I can't heal at the speed of lightening anymore."

The Captain wasn't looking at Eren but more so at his lap as he hung to every word that the younger man was saying.

"But please allow me to do the most that I can," smiled the ex-shifter sadly, "I've handled five of Hange's experiments while you were asleep. I'm sure I could handle the last two."

"Has Hange even told you about the experiment?"

Eren answered, "No. She hasn't. I don't know what I'm going into, but I just have a feeling Hange really needs to do it."

"I don't know either."

The brunet blinked.

"I'm not saying I'm not aware, but I don't know what will exactly happen. All Hange has told me is that you'll most likely be decapitated for a good hour or two. Perhaps even longer in order to get the results she 'wants.'"

"That's fine then."

The Captain's face hardened at the German male's declaration.

"Stop trying to be a hero."

The ex-shifter laughed weakly at that, "I'm not, sir. I just… I would rather die than be useless."

Levi froze as Eren tilted his head meeting eyes with him again.

Eren had heard them.

Eren had heard Hange and his argument although Levi didn't know how much.

"And I know that I've become useless."

The Captain felt a surge of defiance flow through him as he opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted.

"I have and you can't deny it. I don't have the skills of Mikasa nor the leadership of Armin and yet compared to them I am the one that is most indebted. I can't stand that. I can't stand not being able to do something in return for what you, the Commander, and everyone have done for me."

The Captain argued back at the subordinate with brows knitting, "Brat! So what? You're not special? What you're basically telling me is that every single citizen and soldier right now deserves to die as well because they're not excelling beyond the norm."

"No," retorted the brunet with a scowl, "No, that's not it, sir. I… Look. I've already done what I can, haven't I? The most I could do now is help Hange with research by doing additional experiments right? With how things are, I'm sure I won't be getting away from the court's verdict very soon. And since I can't leave without you, Hange, or the Commander—in the end it's the same as if I am… uh… Stuck? But Mikasa and Armin aren't stuck because of their abilities to do well or not. They don't even—"

"DON'T," snarled Levi.

"Sir, please," spoke Eren biting his upper lip with voice almost going into a whisper, "I have to help pay back for all that I've—"

"SHUT UP!," growled the French man, "Even if you died, Mikasa and Armin wouldn't be freed. Even if you died, I would still be under Erwin's high stacking brows doing his dirty work. Everything that has happened already, it's done. You have no debt. THERE IS NO DEBT."

The brunet gained the use of his tongue again, "That's not—"

"YES IT IS!" shouted the Captain with a fist hitting the floor.

He swore he had finished arguing when Hange had left.

But look at him again.

"You're trying to tell me that you think that it's fine to put your life on the line. You're trying to say that with all the damn titans gone, you no longer serve a greater purpose for us. And because of what you were during those days we fought together, you can't leave this place either. You're trying to say that you're chaining Ackerman and Arlert down because you know they wouldn't leave this god damn place without you. But perhaps… Oh… Just perhaps if you died while working under us they'd be able to leave. And you'd be able to give them freedom all the while paying your 'debt.' Dumbass! Did you think you had a 'debt?' Did you really think that Erwin and I were keeping tabs on you like THAT? Oh—Jaeger ate another piece of bread out of the damn table bowl better make sure he buys back more. Oh—Jaeger asked me to get him a cup of water. I better remember next time I'm thirsty to ask him to get me one too."

"Sir," gritted out the German male across from him with a frustrated expression, "Those analogies are nothing compared to—"

"It doesn't matter," spat Levi as his nostrils flared in frustration, "Even with 'their' deaths, you have no debt."

The brunet knew the Captain was referring to his original squad; the squad that Annie had taken out.

"In all honesty, Leonheart killed them and I don't see her wallowing in such a stupid concept as a 'debt.'"

Eren sighed, "She's just not as expressive is all."

"No," snapped the Captain as he crawled forward towards Eren, "You're just damn fucking stupid, is all."

Eren watched as the French man approached him slowly.

"Humanity has a fucking debt. They fucking are indebted to YOU. You could have ran. You could have hid, yet you chose to fight with them and for them. Now you think that every damn time you had failed it was all on you? Don't try to make this all a double standard."

"Sir—Look. Maybe you think it's freaking silly and all but even so!"

"It's not fucking silly!" snapped the raven head as he firmly grasped onto Eren's shoulders, "It's fucking fucked up is what it is!"

Eren froze in the spot that he was.

"It's my choice, sir—isn't it? Why are you so… So…"

Levi realized perhaps he had overstepped his bounds and froze where he was.

"Why are you objecting to it so much?" asked Eren with an anxious gaze, "I thought you would be relieved to know that the experiments could be carried on."

The Captain scooted away as he cautiously let his hands leave the younger man, "Jaeger, I don't like wasting my soldier's lives."

Eren looked down at his hands and pressed his lips together, "You're not wasting my life, sir. You're just putting it to good use. Even Hange agrees."

Levi turned to the side bitterly exhaling, "What good is it once you're dead?"

"I'll try not to die, but I'll also try my best to get as much information as I can, sir. I'm a gamble, ain't I? Is your heart not with the Legion Scouts?"

The Captain paused.

"Is your heart not with the soldiers that have died?"

What the hell was brunet going on about now? Did Eren seriously think that he had the right or power to-

"My heart will never change," declared Eren with a determined gaze cutting into the older man's thoughts.

Levi stared into the German male's bright glowing eyes burning with confidence.

"You are my keeper."

> _Am I not his keeper?_

"You are my Captain."

> _Am I not his Captain?_

"You are Humanity's Strongest."

> _Am I not Humanity's Strongest?_

"My sacrifice means nothing if it serves purpose."

> _He doesn't trust you—that's why he won't tell you._

"My sacrifice means nothing if it is put to good use."

Levi could feel something burning within him.

"You have a good heart, because you think for the whole. I used to not be able to, but now I can because of what we've been through. I will not back down from this hurdle, sir. I will not willingly give up nor turn away. If this is what Hange feels is progression then I will gladly put down my life."

The French soldier could feel something breaking.

"You have everything to lose, you know," responded Levi suddenly too silently.

The Captain's argue was feeble.

Too weak and foolish.

Everything Hange had said had been correct.

He needed to be willing to make the sacrifice.

Eren had believed that Levi had the quality of thinking for the whole, but for once that statement which would have probably rang true ten years ago had become ridiculous now.

A bitter laugh escaped Levi's lips to Eren's surpise.

_Of course…_

Levi was JUST Eren's keeper.

Levi was JUST Eren's Captain.

Levi was JUST Humanity's Strongest.

He was no more than that.

Nor less.

The man should have been proud.

He should have been burning with triumph and yet…

What was this heavy lump growing at the pit of his throat?

This dragging sensation clawing at his lungs?

This lunging ache that was making his vision fail him?

Hange's heart was with the Legion Scouts. Eren's heart as well. So where was his heart?

Where was the great Humanity's Strongest's heart?

It most definitely wasn't with Humanity nor the Legion Scouts anymore. No…

The French man took in a heaving breath.

"Sir? Uh… I didn't mean to assault you with… my words… Uh…," mumbled Eren nervously as he tried to give his Captain more space in the tent.

"Leave."

"Huh?" blinked Eren at the command.

"Get out," spoke Levi more loudly this time as he turned to face away from the subordinate.

The brunet stared at the older man for a second before he turned to the side making his exit.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you sir," whispered Eren before he put on his boots and closed the flap of the tent stepping away.

Levi slumped down into his bed and pulled the covers over his head.

The man closed his eyes though the knitting of his brows didn't cease.

The Captain tried to sleep but all he could think about was one thing.

> _"I will not back down from this hurdle, sir."_

Where was his heart?

> _"I will not willingly give up nor turn away."_

Just where had it gone off to?

> _"I would rather die than be useless."_

Levi faintly recalled of a name he had weakly uttered earlier in his dreams...

But he killed off the sprouting thought before it could even bloom.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 21 Preview:
> 
> Mikasa's face snapped back towards Eren with a prominent scowl on her face, "Eren... You and Erwin... I know."


	21. The Third Mistake: Confrontation At Hand

Eren tried to understand.

He really did.

But somewhere in the back of his brain it hadn't made any sense to him.

As the view of headquarters came into sight, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Finally they would be back in the base and actually have access to a warm cozy bed instead of freezing out in tents in the middle of the wilderness. Eren gave Armin a glance taking note of how the blond had fallen asleep all the while clinging to the Captain. The brunet was most certainly aware that his friend was tired since Armin and Hange had been reading and recording down lord knows what well into the night.

Levi hadn't acted any different than before after their little confrontation in the tent.

Eren assumed that perhaps the brunet had taken the argument to heart more so than necessary since the Captain seemed to be in an alright state.

The German male let out a huff as he saw headquarters draw nearer.

Eren knew that progression in the Legion Scouts was what was most sought after. Time was a valuable thing, was it not? A few years back, Levi wouldn't have batted an eye when it came to cutting off Eren's limbs in order to get him out of his titan form. So what was wrong with Hange doing it to him instead?

Sure it was most definitely true that he couldn't heal anymore, but did it really matter?

If the only way to gather further information was to tear Eren piece by piece, then he was fine by it. The brunet was more than aware that there had been pain killers and numbing drugs that could knock him out all the while Hange and the others did whatever probing of him as needed.

But Levi's argument had been that he hadn't wanted for Eren to possibly die.

Levi hated to waste the lives of his soldiers.

That had been Levi's defense.

And it had been a weak one.

_Yes._

So weak that even Eren was second guessing himself in whether Levi should get more rest before speaking of such a matter.

Yes, it was true that Levi hated to waste lives.

_Everyone does._

But when the time called for it, sacrifices had to be made. And Eren swore to himself that in the past although Levi hated that fact, he had still went on and followed through with things.

So what had been so different about this time?

_What?_

The group made it to the outer stables that occupied headquarters. Everyone unsaddled themselves and began to unload their goods. From the distance, Eren heard the sound of Moblit coming by and addressing Hange of any assistance she needed. Mikasa would have typically been here but Eren was aware that because Levi and Hange had been gone she had a huge responsibility on her shoulders that required her attention at the moment more so than simply coming out to greet her friends.

Eren was sure that either way he would see her later when dinner came around.

As the brunet guided his beast into one of the small stalls located in the barn, Eren continued his train of thought with a heavy heart.

The only thing that made Eren different…

The only that perhaps made Eren a bit more important to Levi than the others was that he had shared memories of the Captain's previous squad.

Perhaps in the French soldier's heart, the Captain was still unable to let go of Oluo's, Gunther's, Petra's, and Eldo's deaths.

Another soldier came by and told Eren he'd care for the beast all the while telling the brunet to go get himself changed and cleaned up. The German male gave the soldier a smile for the help—it was the guard that ate with him when Levi had put him in isolation in the dungeon awhile back. With a smile on his face, Eren turned to go exiting out of the stall with his pack.

Although Eren had joined the crew rather late, he had still been a part of it and had shared a good number of memories with Petra and the others. That must have been it. Eren was the last member of Levi's previous squad. And because the German male knew that—yes. Levi's pride was high. And that—yes. Levi cared for that crew very much so.

The French soldier wouldn't allow for the last remnants of his crew to go.

And that's where Eren came to be.

Stuck as the last member of Levi's previous squad still alive.

Eren crossed the snow covered grass fields with a laid back trot.

The brunet had previously been able to survive under horrendous conditions during the war thanks to his titan powers. But of course, with the end of the war against the titans, he was now just a normal human being albeit Eren did have a few quirks here and there which only Hange seemed to know about thankfully. But of course, because Eren didn't have a trump card to save him anymore, Levi's last member of his previous squad no longer could survive without the French soldiers hand in keeping circumstances safe.

The brunet made it down the hall towards the entrance to his dungeon with his pack in hand. Eren took note that the two guards standing at the entrance of the dungeon were unrecognizable. Eren had never seen them before. Perhaps the newer trainees were finally taking up the 'bigger' jobs as Hange puts it? Heck— the soldier that Eren still didn't know the name of had been at the barn with him to help him out. Perhaps the older guards had been completely switched out with Mikasa taking charge.

Eren let his mind drift again…

In the end, because the brunet was so prone to dying apparently, Levi had disallowed for the final two experiments to be carried out. The German male made it down to his cell and opened the door with a loud squeak trotting towards his bed.

Eren guessed it couldn't be helped.

_Everyone has their own insecurities, don’t they?_

If Levi was stuck on his older squad's survival—and the thought of Eren possibly dying would hurt his pride as Captain then…

Should Eren accept that?

It was true that Hange and him hadn't been able to complete the last two experiments, but at least they had completed five, right?

The German male knew that he had a soft spot for the Captain and Commander because they had been there through thick and thin. Eren wondered if perhaps due to his own blind faith in the two older men, he let them get away with things more so than they should. But then the reminder of everything that Eren had caused and the countless numbers of deaths that had taken toll because of the brunet's mistakes cut off the harping voice in the German male's head.

Should Eren have asked for Hange to complete the last two experiments on him without Levi's knowledge or consent?

Which should have Eren chosen if he had thought of this earlier?

His yearning for progression in order to ease his guilt for the past?

Or his subordination in order to comfort his higher up for the future?

If only Eren wasn't so conflicted over all of this… Not that the questions even really mattered anymore seeing as the German male and his friends had already made it back to base safely…

Levi had told Eren to disregard this concept of debt, but true to the brunet's heart—the ex-shifter couldn't. Eren wondered when he became like this… So hung on every little thing. So detail oriented and tracking of what he had done wrong.

The brunet didn't know.

And so with a heaving exhale, Eren busied himself with emptying his traveling pack instead.

As Eren pulled out his used clothes that he had brought with him, a smaller bundle fell out onto the floor at his feet. The brunet bent down to pick it up only to realize that it was the Captain's clothes.

Eren wondered what he should do with it as a frown crept onto his face.

"E-Eren? Are you there?"

The sudden voice made the brunet jump dropping the dirty rags in his hand onto the ground.

"Yes?" yelped German male as he spun around catching sight of Armin coming down the steps rather hastily.

"Is something the matter?" Eren asked immediately seeing the tense face of his friend.

The blond didn't enter the cell like he usually did in the past with how familiar they were and all. Instead, Armin stopped about two steps from the bottom of the case all the while clinging to the dirty walls of the cell with a panicked gaze.

"We've got to hurry," spoke the bob head in a rush, "You can finish unpacking later—come with me."

Eren quickly paced forward closing the distance between him and his life-long friend inquiring with squinting eyes, "What's going on, Armin? Are there court officials at our door?"

The blond paused though still completely frazzled. Watching the anxious expression on the brunet, the scowl on Armin's face grew deeper.

"Mikasa's snapped."

It nagged at him, but he pushed it away.

No.

He buried it.

He buried it deep in the crevices of his chest—in the folds of his lungs. Because at the moment, he just couldn't deal with all this shit. He knew it wasn't a good idea, but he had other things to do that were far more important.

The older man cursed as he turned the corner searching for the cursed brunet. Levi swore he just saw Eren walk pass him not too long ago in order to care for his stupid horse. And yet, now that the French male put effort into actually paying attention to the damned ex-shifter, Eren was nowhere. The raven head gritted his teeth as he strolled down the small isle of the dirty and danky barn housing a number of large mammals. Catching Eren's horse from the corner of his eyes in one of the stalls to the far left, Levi rolled his eyes.

"Jaeger, what in the hell is taking you so damn fucking—"

However, Levi paused when he finally made it to the stall and looked inside it. Instead of Eren brushing up on the brown beast, there was a young man perhaps a bit younger than Levi himself brushing the horse's mane gently.

"Did you need something, sir?" asked the man with a questioning gaze, having come to a pause when he realized just who it was that was standing to his side.

"Where's Jaeger?"

The man immediately answered the head soldier with quick reception, "Left to unpack, sir. Not sure where, but most likely his room in the basement?"

Levi clicked his tongue in annoyance.

Wonderful.

"And why are you here, soldier?" asked the Captain thinking that he ought to correct anything out of line while he was at it.

The younger man's hand which had been still brushing through the horse's mane came to a stop although he did not turn to look at the French man.

"Should I not be, sir?" questioned the soldier with a quirking brow.

Levi's senses sharpened wondering if the man was challenging his authority or simply curious, "I have no idea what Ackerman is thinking putting you on horse duty, but shouldn't you be guarding the entrance of Jaeger's cell like you usually do during the night shift?"

The younger man crooked his head then staring straight at the Captain with a questioning gaze, "Commander Erwin changed his mind. That's why I'm here, sir."

The French man blinked not following the younger man's train of thought very well, "Changed his mind?"

Straightening his posture with a roll of his shoulders, the soldier gave Eren's horse one last swipe before placing the thick brush away by setting it on the wooden margins of the stall wall, "Yes. I was informed that he would meet with you and Squad Leader Hange later tonight. I'm assuming he's going to need to fill you both in on what's going on due to Sir Won being here and all."

Levi blinked.

_Strange…_

To have a fellow soldier be so informed about the plans of Erwin— It just felt too off. And who the in the world was Sir Won?

"Captain Levi," addressed the younger man with sudden stress, "Though I may be prying, do you know if Eren is in a relationship with… Per say… Mikasa?"

The French man's face stayed expressionless as he felt disappointed that he was being pulled into foolish gossip roused by perhaps the new trainees.

"I don't know," responded the Captain with a sigh in irritation, "And if you care to find out so much, why don't you just ask Jaeger or possibly Ackerman that yourself?"

The younger man swallowed nervously, "Uh… I- I… I just want to help Eren as much as possible, sir!"

"What?" Levi found himself saying without thinking as one of his brows quirked up.

The soldier licked his lips as his eyes met straight on with the Captain's own, "A lot of people—and I mean A LOT, as you probably know already, have… issues with Eren. Not only because he is so bare with his emotions but also because of what he is."

The Captain wondered if he should just leave instead of listening to this man he didn't even know the name of ramble on. Right now the French soldier was still quite on edge… Levi and Hange still hadn't gotten back into synchronized footing which wasn't really helping with communication between the two of them. How unfortunate that the only thing awaiting for him outside of the barn was the eccentric who would probably just bombard him with rustic glares and constant sighs…

"But Eren is a wonderful person, isn't he?" laughed the young man though his eyes seemed much too sad, "He's hard headed— but perseveres. He's impatient, but determined. Of course he's still so…"

There was a pregnant pause between the two as they stared on at each other.

Levi didn't have to be told what the younger man was feeling- what he was trying to express and prove through his words because the French man could already tell what was next in line to be heard.

"He's still so stupid when it comes down to things, but always quick to adjust and adapt. Pulls shit moves from his ass and somehow manages to save people's limbs while entertaining us to some degree. Yeah. I know," whispered the French man.

The younger man's eyes widened in surprise as he watched the Captain grit his teeth in irritation as he spoke.

"He thinks he's right, even when he's wrong though," continued Levi as his eyes became distant though still holding the younger man's gaze.

> _"I have to help pay back for all that I've—"_

"And he's so stubborn—," growled the Captain, voice suddenly becoming rather too harsh.

> _"My heart will never change"_

"His priorities are always justified but it doesn't change the end result in which comes to be."

> _"My sacrifice means nothing if it is put to good use."_

And without even realizing, Levi's voice had already turned from a whisper to a loud declaration, "Why can't he fucking see that?"

> _"You have everything to lose, you know?"_

"Why can't he fucking see that?!" shouted the man as his fist clenched in a trembling fist.

Levi hadn't meant to snap, but the anger was still there at the pit of his chest. And with all of the issues that Levi has been finding that are out of his control, he's become too frustrated to care about image. The younger man's eyes stayed exposed like golf balls though he said nothing as he witnessed his superior before him continue to spit out curses and unrecognizable questions.

Why was he so hung up on the damn brunet?

Why couldn't he let their conversation go?

Even though Levi was the one who had chosen to end it so abruptly, he felt as if he was still the one who had been the most dissatisfied with its outcome.

Because it hadn't changed anything.

The French soldier brought a sore hand to his face rubbing at his temples radically.

No matter what the Captain had tried to say in order to influence Eren's mindset—instead of dissolving all that Eren was now standing for, Levi had strengthened it. The head soldier had caused for the brunet to create even stronger walls in order to pillar his beliefs.

"A few years back," spoke the unnamed soldier in front of him, cutting his thoughts off short.

Levi cleared his throat slightly taken aback by the fact that he had been so vulnerable a moment ago.

The younger man smiled as he continued to speak, "I had treated Eren the same as the others—ignoring, disregarding, but still pointing and relying heavily on at the end… But he saved me."

The younger man inhaled deeply as his eyes moved to the ground, "He saved me, time and time again—even when he didn't mean to. And I know. I know that his memories fail him when he exerts so much, but… It's all thanks to him that I'm married now. It's all thanks to his sacrifice and efforts that I can actually believe that if I had children, they wouldn't have to worry about titans trying to eat them in the middle of the day. So… If there was anything that I could ever do to repay him for giving me an opportunity to live free of fear—then I would never hesitate to do so."

Ah…

Levi could see it.

He could see so clearly now.

The reason why this man had felt the need to address Mikasa. Why he had felt the urge to explain himself to the Captain. Why he had wanted to know more about Eren at hand…

It was so obvious, yet the older man had been too caught up in his own musing to actually catch it.

Eren was this man's hero.

The brunet was this man's savior—this man's hope and dreams.

This man was completely swept under with Eren's efforts and suffering. He understood the hardships in which the brunet had suffered and was fully aware of the pain that the German male had gone through. By approaching Levi, the man had hoped to perhaps provide further and far more effective service to the ex-shifter.

The thought made Levi recall of a younger version of Eren.

A much more younger self of Eren.

With a soft exhale, Levi rubbed the back of his head feeling the stubble of his undercut as he turned to the side letting his frustrations go, "I personally do not—"

"LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVI! Did you find Eren?!" shouted a certain lunatic that the Captain knew all too well from the entrance of the barn.

Levi's face was immediately painted with a scowl, seeing as he finally had something to say and had been interrupted. The younger soldier before him, however, acknowledged his need to leave with a salute so Levi turned away and began heading for the exit with a grunt.

"Not here," muttered Levi as he came out of the small wooden building.

The eccentric groaned dramatically although Levi could sense a strain in her reaction, "Oh! Why did he leave when I needed him? This is your entire fault Levi! If you had kept a close eye on him instead of letting him wander off when we were unpacking, then he'd be here right now!"

The French soldier pinched the bridge of his nose as his face turned into an irritated scowl, "Oh please, thanks to you being such a shit head, I had to go take care of the damn fucking trainees that were clueless on where to put everything. I'm going to go meet their squad leaders later and make sure that their heads aren't three feet up their asses."

Hange laughed a bit too loud, though the tenseness in her shoulders gave away just how uncomfortable she felt at the moment, "Of course! But if this is the case, then I'll just inform Eren later before nightfall."

Levi rolled his eyes as he muttered under his breath, "Whatever."

It seemed that the eccentric was still a bit angry about their argument from the way she was acting at the moment, although she hadn't necessarily had time to show it while they had traveled back to base. Usually when the two fools disputed over something intensely as this, Hange was always the one to typically laugh it off first. But it seemed perhaps Levi had crossed the line this time for the eccentric. Just as the French man was about to distance himself from the female scientist, she turned to call out to him with a tired grimace.

"Hey," spoke the bespectacled soldier as her eyes paused though still directed towards the materials in her hand, "I already spoke with Erwin while you were busy finding Eren. So after you get yourself together, make sure to meet up with him! He REALLY NEEDS to talk to you."

Levi caught Hange's obvious emphasis on the word 'need' as he nodded at the statement. As the French man gave a grunt of acknowledgement while strolling away from the eccentric, he assumed that the female scientist had indeed turned him in to the blond Commander. If Erwin had felt the need to have those experiments done on Eren even if it had conflicted with his own fears and beliefs then Levi was sure that the Commander would no doubt now be even more frustrated.

The Captain released a huff in defeat.

Well, if Erwin was just going to give Levi a lecture then the blond man could wait because the Captain seriously needed to take a shower before anything else right now.

* * *

It was silent.

Much too silent to make up for the fact that the room he was standing in at the moment was full of soldiers old and new. No one was leaving nor entering through the doors. Instead, the majority of the survey corps citizens were huddled against the walls in small groups trying to distance themselves away from the center table where a single person was sitting hunched over with hand in face.

"Mikasa?" called out Eren tentatively as he entered.

His presence made the room less tense, but it didn't stop the apprehension that hovered over the place.

The sound of the brunet's voice made Mikasa's head snap up almost instantly.

"Eren," she gasped as she caught sight of the ex-shifter.

Although her consciousness had responded immediately, her body stayed where she had been seated—atop the wooden table with both feet occupying the wooden bench.

"Did something happen?" Eren probed as he strode over to the woman with concern.

Mikasa stepped down from the bench and made way to the brunet slowly with caution as if at any moment Eren might be the one to disappear and not the other way around.

As the brunet grew closer to the female warrior, he could see from the corner of his eyes a few scared soldiers attempt to leave. Of course, Eren didn't stop them. In all honesty, Mikasa was making a whole show of this and he wasn't sure how to take it exactly. When the German male finally stood in front of the raven head he cautiously reached out to her. Mikasa pulled away from the brunet's attempt to comfort her however. Her face slightly tilted to the left staring down at the floor with both hands at her side.

"I know."

"Huh?" blinked Eren as he stared at the woman having been completely caught off guard.

Mikasa's face snapped back towards Eren with a prominent scowl on her face, "Eren… You and Erwin… I know."

The German male froze where he stood after taking a step back with evident shock in his stature having gone rigid.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why… I thought we…," gritted out the female warrior with eyes shut tight as she bit her upper lip.

Eren had not forgotten that they were in the dining hall being viewed by hundreds of soldiers, who were all most definitely not preoccupied with eating at the moment. The brunet tried to avoid stammering though he knew his attempt was as pathetic as his response, "I-I didn't mean to—"

"But you did!" shouted Mikasa as her eyes opened and pierced his own, "You meant to do everything that you did, Eren! Stop lying! Stop trying to cover up everything!"

"Mikasa, I…," Eren didn't know what to say.

What could he say?

He hadn't thought this would happen.

He hadn't thought that while he was gone Mikasa would go about probing and investigating.

No.

He had thought that the female was ignorant of everything he had been up to.

Everything that he had tried to conceal.

Lost for words, Eren turned around to catch sight of Armin who looked completely baffled and confused by their conversation.

'So Armin didn't know…' thought the brunet seeing some hope within his grasp.

The blond didn't know what they were talking about.

Eren turned back to address Mikasa with a stern voice, "Look, we can go talk somewhere else rather than—"

"NO," cut in Mikasa as her eyes pierced his down, "You NEED to answer my questions. You've been avoiding saying the truth. You've been avoiding this whole confrontation and I'm sick of it."

The brunet couldn't feel the spark of anger he used to as a child from being reprimanded. He couldn't sense the hate that would usually build at the back of his throat and spill like sculptures materializing from acid.

Instead, Eren could only feel a deep sadness filling his lungs as he stared at the woman in front of him.

"No."

Eren had made up his mind, hadn't he?

"You know now, so what?" laughed the German male dryly.

Mikasa gasped and was about to take hold of him in anger, but Armin ran forward cutting in between them with an fretful gasp.

The blond pleaded, "P-please don't do this you two…"

"I'll kill him," hissed Mikasa shaking, "I'll make sure he-"

Eren knew this would happen.

He knew that once the raven head found out she would make sure that Erwin paid for his crime. But Eren had the power to curb this. He had the potential to alter this wicked ending that was soon to reach the blond Commander.

"I don't regret it," interrupted Eren a bit harsher than he had anticipated, "He did nothing wrong."

The raven head stepped back at the statement with a hiss. He had to make his point clear because he could see Mikasa recalculating the situation. He could feel her rationalizing his course of action and attempting to break down his walls of secrecy.

Eren shouted out louder as he felt his vision blur from frustration, "I fully accepted him for what happened."

Eren's words rang loud and clear—almost loud enough to bounce off the dining room hall and echo. Their audience was completely frozen with utter fear. Mikasa looked at him and seemed at lost for words as she stared with trembling eyes wide from shock…

And hurt.

The room began to erupt in hushed whispers as Eren continued to speak, "You and I… We... I'm sorry I couldn't keep our promise."

Their promise to be truthful to each other after the war.

"No, Eren…" retaliated the female warrior with sadness evident in her words, "Don't say—"

"I'm sorry that I broke it."

Their promise to always confide in each other as they recovered side by side barely having made it out of the deadly battle.

No more lies—they had said.

No more concealing—they had shouted.

But that was too long ago now.

"And that I will probably continue to break it."

Mikasa tried to push Armin aside though the blond wouldn't budge even as he began to sob at the brunet's declaration.

Armin turned his head to Eren completely baffled by everything, "You can keep that promise, Eren. You can still keep it! P-please don't say that!"

Eren knew that by stating this, he was practically telling his lifelong friends that he could no longer rely on them.

That he could no longer accept their emotional and physical support.

That he was forfeiting everything that they had hoped for.

"Eren?" rang a gruff baritone.

The whole attention of the room suddenly shifted passed Eren, back to the entrance of the dining hall.

"What are you doing here?" continued the buff blond as he leaned against the door frame with a quirking brow, "Hell—what are all of you guys doing here? It was so quiet I thought that this place was empty!"

As Reiner entered the room with Annie and Bertholdt trailing behind, he approached the trio still in the middle of an emotional battle. Armin tried to straighten his posture as he wiped away the evident tears on his face. Mikasa in turn did nothing though she did let go of the blond and patted his back as an apology.

The buff blond leaned forward inspecting Armin with a worried expression, "You okay, dude?"

When Armin could only respond with silence, Reiner quickly glanced around the room sending his most serious glare to the audience, "Hey! What are all you guys doing gawking like idiot! Get your plates and head on out before the Captain get's here and slices everyone's head off!"

With that, the room suddenly began to burst into action with soldiers running left and right to clear the area. The tension in the room dissipated, though the tangled threads of an argument between the trio of friends had yet to be resolved.

As the room burst into activity, Bertholdt leaned down towards Eren and whispered to the brunet, "Hange need to see you immediately."

The message made Eren stiffen realizing that something must be happening behind closed doors. Either that or the eccentric had finally discovered something actually noteworthy although Eren wasn't sure that Hange's take on noteworthy was equivalent to his own.

"Where is she?" spoke Eren as quietly as he could as Bertholdt tried to cheer up Armin and probe Mikasa's death glare.

"Her office room—We just talked with her."

The brunet gave the timid ex-shifter a nod as he turned to go. Mikasa saw him taking his leave and attempted to stop him, but Reiner held her back with a solid arm. The echoes of Mikasa calling out to him became more distant as he entered the hall and began a light sprint dodging people here and there. After turning a few corners, Eren made it to the entrance of Hange's room. The door was cracked slightly open, so neglecting to knock on the door (because Hange tended to do that as well) he entered the female scientist's quarters with one quick motion.

"Squad Leader Hange?" called out Eren as he stood there at the entrance of the room with eyes scanning for the eccentric's usual hunched over silhouette.

The brunet's green orbs met with a figure in the room, but of course he knew it wasn't the female scientist. Instead it was a certain blond man turning to him in surprise as he had been looking at a couple of maps sprawled out on Hange's specimen table.

Eren stared at Erwin feeling as if he had been doused in cold water.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 21 Preview:
> 
> "I'm not stupid," continued Eren as he leaned forward, "I... The moment I stepped into the room- I knew you remembered."
> 
> Erwin spoke quietly with an expressionless face, "What do you mean?"


	22. The Third Mistake: If I Could Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *crawls out from under rock*
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

It wasn't immediate.

It never was.

Just like how it had been with Mary, her quiet and expressionless face turned to the side as she watched the leaves of autumn slowly descend with the changing seasons. No matter what, he would- without even realizing- become enamored with her grace. He would begin to notice how the light would touch her slender cheek down to her nape and then her collar bone. He would see how her eyes lighted up just slightly at the mention of her name as he passed by with Mike and Nile at his side.

He had been at loss then.

And he had began to chase her as if it were only natural- until the moment he realized that the destination in which he was dashing towards was not her.

It was not her- because it was beyond her.

A goal in the distance so far away and impossible that he came to realize she was out of reach, left behind in the dust, as he ran forward with a shattered heart of stone. The gift that god had bestowed on him- a beautiful person smiling in sadness from his back- had been graced with an attempt of happiness only to be cast aside in haste.

And with time- Erwin forgot that beautiful silhouette. He forgot her voice calling his name sweetly in the morning sun as she set the table with the help of Nile. He forgot her tender gestures throwing aside the laundry to help the two men pull on their military gear.

He forgot her...

He forgot her completely.

Burying himself in work and progression, he fell prey to the devils of the night. He lost himself in the game of winning through the pain of loss. He drowned in the papers of tomorrow that painted an endless path which seemed to guide him towards a known destination- only to become lost on the roadside.

And then god sent him another gift.

The boy graced with the power of hope.

"Ah... Eren," breathed the Commander as he folded the map in his hand much too leisurely in neat fine squares.

Eren's train of thought was snapped in half as he stood there gaping at the older man before him. Erwin wasn't in his usual military attire. Instead, the blond wore a rather worn out gray short sleeved T with a pair of cargo pants surprisingly dirtied at the knee. The shirt hugged his broad figure complimenting his profile. Sadly, Eren found no comfort in coming to such a conclusion.

"Did you need something?"

Eren could feel his racing heart still pulsating from earlier start to die down as he tried to catch his breath.

"Hange- sir. Hange. I need to speak with her."

Or more like she needed to speak with him...

Erwin paused thinking as he continued to stand at the eccentric's desk before giving the brunet a nod, understanding the situation.

"She's tending to one of our guests right now. But I'm sure she'll be back in just a bit."

Erwin tucked the folded parchment into his back pocket casually with a smile as he gestured an arm towards a wooden stool in one of the corners of the room, "If you want to, go ahead and take a seat. I'm sure she won't be gone for long."

Eren stood in the middle of the doorway as he processed the older man's words, "Um... No. Ah- It's alright, sir. I'll just stand here if it's not going to be that long."

"Ah, of course," responded Erwin much too calmly with a smile plastered on his face.

The two lingered in silence as Erwin went about slowly putting the utensils on Hange's desk away- even sorting out which went where into the number of ceramic cups that littered the brown table's corners.

Off.

It felt off.

However, Eren did not move.

The brunet did not stray from the entrance of the room and continued staring onward without shame- watching Erwin like a hawk.

Too much time had passed between them with all that had occurred.

Eren realized- No.

He had always known.

They held duties much too different.

They stood at levels much too far apart.

And Eren spoke with Erwin only when spoken to, save for that night when Eren had gone to thank the blond...

The brunet chewed on his upper lip.

But even so...

Even so.

Even without words, the times which they had stood on the same battle ground had been enough. It had been enough. No- It had been more than enough. Enough to tell Eren of when the older man was in pain- When Eren felt a hesitance in Erwin's choices- A fear in his decisions.

For ten years, from the moment that Erwin spoke to him beyond the rotting bars of his prison when he had been fifteen to the first time they shook hands in relief that perhaps they could help Humanity move onward... And to the very last time Erwin had stood in battle with a fifteen meter class titan in front of him... Eren would say that they hadn't needed to share words in such a way as how many comrades felt necessary. To converse and pour out one's heart- their actions spoke through it all. And Humanity's victory had proven that.

But now...

Now as Eren let his eyes drift off momentarily from Erwin, who was working much too slowly through the material on Hange's desk, he knew that this time perhaps actions could not save them.

Perhaps words were necessary.

Perhaps words were needed.

Perhaps...

Perhaps Erwin and Eren could no longer move forward like this simply reading the body language of one another.

"Sir...," exhaled Eren as his green orbs moved back to the subject of interest at hand.

"Yes?" prodded the Commander with false attentiveness as he pulled away from the last utensil needing to be put away.

Erwin didn't turn around- so how could he possibly see the broken smile on the brunet's face. The weak chuckle that resounded in the room that couldn't possibly reach Eren's eyes.

"Sir," repeated Eren firmer this time.

Erwin dittoed stiffly in response, "Yes? Is there something I could do for you, Eren?"

The brunet stepped forward towards Erwin-

And Erwin's attention immediately snapped towards the younger man.

"Don't," snapped the blond so very immediate that neither of them had expected it.

"Don't?" repeated Eren absentmindedly as if he was ignorant.

Erwin sighed in defeat rubbing his eyes with shoulders slumped, "Eren... I'm just feeling a bit ill at the mo-"

"That's a lie," whispered Eren as the door behind him came almost to a close save a small crack.

Erwin looked away again as his hands came to rest at his side, body slightly leaning on the wooden desk behind him.

"I...," began the blond man with lips pinched together in thought, "I don't understand what you want from this anymore."

The brunet listened intently as he watched Erwin gesture to nothing in particular.

The German male was slightly surprised by the sudden confession as he began to respond, "I didn't want-"

"You didn't want me to remember," cut in the Commander slightly too harsh though his face stayed expressionless, "You didn't want me to remember, because it would make you uncomfortable. So whether I remembered or not- as long as it seemed as if I was ignorant of what transpired you would feel secure. So right now-"

Erwin straightened his back at that moment turning to stare directly at the younger man before him, "So right now, if it seemed as if I knew nothing of what happened- what could possibly be wrong? Tell me..."

Not a single feature changed on the blond's face but his blue eyes were gleaming with an unsaid saddening frustration and fear, "Tell me what you want me to do so I can help you... So I can..."

The remaining part of the older man's sentence drifted into silence although both of them knew all too well what the blond was attempting to address.

Eren sighed, "Sir, the point is- You remember now."

If Mikasa knew, why wouldn't Erwin? Why did Eren believe he could shield Erwin? Why did the stupid German male believe he could protect his own higher up when he couldn't even keep his own adopted sister from suffering from such a horrid discovery.

"Even if you hadn't just said that, I already knew you remembered."

Erwin was silent confirming that he had noticed his own slip up.

"I'm not stupid," continued Eren as he leaned forward, "I... The moment I stepped into the room- I knew you remembered."

Erwin spoke quietly with an expressionless face, "What do you mean?"

Erwin's not ready. He's not prepared. The older man hadn't anticipated this nor expected it.

Eren's heart sped up at that moment in anger as his patience ran out, "I mean that even though you need to leave this room because you've no business here anymore, you haven't left! I mean that even though all you have to do is ask me to move, you haven't! Because somehow you've figured out- whether it's through Squad Leader Hange or Captain Levi, that I am an incapable soldier unable to handle the mere thought of a lingering touch. And now, you feel that you have lost the privilege to ask anything of me."

Eren ran forward towards the taller man at that moment without warning. The Commander attempted to move to the side in order to avoid the brunet but failed as he felt a surprisingly strong grip take hold of his bicep. Erwin recoiled with eyes snapping towards Eren in complete shock.

Tears overflowed from the younger man's eyes as he shoved the older man towards Hange's desk, "You want to act as if you don't know- well obviously you failed! Because you do know!"

Erwin was speechless as he witnessed the brunet before him shatter into pieces.

"You do! And you know what?!" Eren continued to shout at the top of his lungs, "I wasn't doing this-"

Eren's free hand gripped onto the front of the older man's shirt in trembles almost ripping the material as his eyes broke free from Erwin's. Suddenly going still, the subordinate leaned his temple against the blond's broad chest.

"I wasn't doing all of this for me...," finished Eren with a quiet sob.

* * *

 

Levi raised himself from the bathtub as he grabbed onto a dry towel on the wooden stool by the sink with impatience. Quickly drying the remaining water droplets from his body, the raven head paced towards his closet and yanked out a new uniform shirt and pants with ease. Pulling on his clothes, the French man approached the mirror and picked up his black ebony comb making quick work with his still wet hair. After finding a decent amount of satisfaction, the raven head put on his boots again and unlatched his door. Making sure to lock the handle, Levi began making way to Erwin's office.

Just as Levi approached the blond's quarter, he wondered just what Hange had spewed to Erwin about their expedition. Surely with the way the crazy scientist went about retelling her stories, Levi was in for a long lecture from the Commander. Knocking on the wooden door, Levi awaited an answer- but to his frustration no sound reverberated from the other side of the room. The Captain decided to test his luck a few more times, but as the minutes ticked on no one came to open the door. With a frown now flushing his face with impatience, the French man began to make his way down the stairs and towards the dining hall. Perhaps Erwin had grown tired of waiting for the shorter man and gone off to get something to eat. It was about evening now- perhaps dinner had already started.

To his luck, just as Levi turned the corner he was met with the familiar scenery of the younger and more newer recruits hanging about in the hallway giggling and gossiping among themselves. Not necessarily paying attention to the youngsters, Levi made to pass by them- but his attentiveness in finding Erwin was cut short when he suddenly heard the familiar voice of a certain female warrior.

"You all better shut it, or else I'll slice off every single one of your tongues- you worthless pieces of shit!"

The French male turned to the side just in time to catch Mikasa being held back by Armin who was basically about to shit his pants. As the Captain approached the scene, he gestured to the group of youngsters that had angered the veteran female soldier to leave. The new recruits scattered as fast as flies leaving Levi to wonder what had they done to make Mikasa so angry.

"What's the situation, here?" inspected the Captain with his usual deadpan voice although he felt a slight sense of worry.

He had never seen Mikasa so angry since the last battle against the titans.

"Ah- It's nothing Captain Levi," responded the bobbed blond with a nervous smile, "It was just-"

Mikasa pulled away from Armin and began to stalk down the hall with new rigor.

"Mikasa! Wait!" shouted out Armin as he watched the female soldier trudge away furiously.

Mikasa didn't respond and kept progressing onward with hunched shoulders in anger.

Levi clicked his tongue in annoyance as he took note of the situation in his mind for later inquiry.

Levi turned to Armin who was close to tears and asked, "Have you seen Erwin by any chance?"

The blond shook his head as he tried to regain his composure, "We've been in the dining room this whole time, sir. If he was here, we would have seen him."

"I see," responded Levi as he thought of the next closest place that Erwin could possibly be.

Armin suddenly grabbed onto the Captain's arm with an anxious expression, "Sir, please go check up on Mikasa. I think she's headed towards Hange's office and Eren's in there."

_Of course._

What else could possibly make the damn female soldier so distraught? But then again, that raised the question of what the damn brunet had done wrong now? All the Captain saw was a bunch of giggling teenagers- no one that Eren could have possibly even known. Could it be that Eren told them something about Mikasa that he wasn't supposed to?

_Ugh... Stupid subordinates and their dramas..._

"You're coming with me then," gritted out Levi as he took hold of the blond's wrist yanking Armin down the hallway.

* * *

 

Erwin was unable to respond- too lost in the sudden turn of events.

The broken brunet continued to cry as his shoulders shook in fear for not being far away enough from this man- this man that had hurt him. This man that had scarred his body and mind.

That had become the very source of his fears.

The German male did not look up as he continued to lean against his higher up all the while fighting against the very mechanism in his body which had developed in order to protect him from Erwin.

"The moment you knew- the moment you found out, you were going to avoid me. You were going to try and make up for the damage," wept Eren quietly.

Eren knew Erwin would become ridden with guilt- and he had. The older man would take it upon himself to act accordingly to benefit Eren's well being- and Erwin had begun to do so. Erwin would avoid Eren as much as possible. He would give the younger man as much space as necessary and free Eren from having any obligations towards the blond Commander. He would set the brunet loose from the chains that locked him down to anything having to do with the one man that hurt him. He would leave- No. He would abandon Eren for all that it was worth- erase his existence from the brunet's mind. And even if that wasn't ever enough to pay for the crime that he had committed- surely someday, Erwin hoped that Eren would forgive him.

"You would waste your time trying to counteract what had happened," whispered Eren just loud enough for the two of them to hear, "You would trash valuable resources just to make up for what you had done- And I..."

Eren exhaled a trembling breath as his grip loosened, "I didn't want you to become like that."

Erwin stepped to the side gently as the younger man let go of him. Turning away the Commander gritted his teeth with brows scrunching.

"How?" questioned Erwin softly.

Eren rubbed at his eyes in an attempt to clear his vision, "It's getting better. The others. They helped me, but I think I'll always be more self aware than normal now."

The blond stared sadly at the ground, "I hope that someday you will be able to completely overcome that. I am sorry."

"If you want to be forgiven, then I will forgive you," responded Eren much too quickly.

Erwin spun around then, his saddened eyes turning almost glassy, "I don't think you understand."

The brunet glimpsed up at the older man having finished drying his tears, "I do."

Erwin felt the urge to step forward, but withheld himself, "Apparently you don't, because you do not seem to understand the audacity of what I have done."

"I do," gritted out Eren, "And it's fine."

"IT IS NOT FINE," boomed the blond's voice as he without thought stepped forward, "NEVER was that and will that be 'fine,' Eren. When someone does that to you- you fight. You claw- and you make sure that they will never be able to do it again. You ensure their punishment and you-"

"Isn't this punishment enough?" cut in Eren with a solemn expression, "Because I was there with you when it happened. I understand our circumstances--"

"Just because I was drunk, that doesn't excuse me. That doesn't excuse anyone. Whether someone is under influence or not- it does not change the fact that I was the one who made the decision to hurt you at that moment," responded the Commander angrily, "In the end- no matter the circumstances, I alone am responsible for what transpired that night."

"Yes, that's true," spoke the brunet as he slowly strolled up towards Erwin, "But sir... I am not forgiving you because you were intoxicated, because I believe you are not responsible for what happened. I believe that a single wrong deed does not define you who has done justice and will continue to do justice for the rest of your life. Because I am the victim and because I have the right to do so, I want forgive you... No. I will forgive you. I... Have to. Not everyone would say the same as I have. But it seems..."

Eren smiled sadly as his eyes came to settle on Erwin's profile, "It seems that perhaps even if I forgive you- you'll never be able to forgive yourself."

Erwin stared at the younger man before him completely broken and shattered to pieces.

"That's why," continued Eren as he closed his eyes straining to stop the anger and regret from boiling over into hot tears, "I didn't want you to ever find out. Because I know- I get you. I understand how you are. And I can't bear to see you like this."

Eren failed.

He failed.

Oh god- he failed so miserably.

He failed to protect Erwin from the blond's own self.

The only thing that could comfort Eren at that moment was the fact that no one knew that it was the older man who had assaulted him that night save Mikasa. Although that vain comfort would soon boil down to nothing should the female raven head's tongue slip to Armin and the others. If Levi found out... Oh god... What would the French male do to himself? The brunet remembered the venom in the Captain's voice as he prodded Eren of who had hurt him. What would Levi feel as he turned to the side only to hear that his own comrade had committed such a heinous crime? Eren buried his face into the cradle of his palms as his worrying thoughts weighed his mind down.

Erwin wanted to comfort his subordinate- but he couldn't. How could he? There were no words that could possibly fix this. And to hold the brunet in his arms, that would probably just bring the younger man into a frenzy even with his fear of touch having dwindled down now. Everything that the blond would have done before- he couldn't do it in these circumstances. The blond wondered if Hange would laugh at him for having come to such a stand still, a frozen brick wall that left him completely lost.

Erwin had never been so reckless before (even with Pixis's story in mind), so what had been different about that night?

What had made it so that the blond had hurt Eren, in specific, in such a way?

> _What had Erwin been thinking when the last titan had been slain?_
> 
> _When the Legion scouts had been clearing themselves of the bodies that littered the city pathway?_

"I...," Erwin found his mouth suddenly moving on its own.

> _Where had the Commander lost himself?_

A part of the older man's mind which had stopped functioning long ago began to turn. It's dusty cogwheels straining to spark into life as the Commander's mind began to unravel the very answer he had been seeking ever since he spoke to Pixis.

> _Humanity had been his heart, hadn't it?_

Slowly Erwin reached out with trembling fingertips towards the brunet who looked up to him unsure of what the blond was trying to achieve, "I have always..."

> _Humanity was still his heart, wasn't it?_

"Always...," repeated Erwin as he tried to grasp the words that his mind was attempting to produce.

> _It wasn't immediate. It never was._

Erwin found himself suddenly embracing the younger man even though he had just told himself he should not be allowed to.

> _And he had began to chase her as if it were only natural-_

The words slipped from his lips before he could stop himself.

"Always loved you."

Before Eren could even process the words that Erwin had just spoken, there was a sudden tug at his arm making him fling away from Erwin's grasp and onto the floor.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 23 Preview:
> 
> "So it's okay if it's Erwin, huh?" spoke Levi with a slight hint of bitterness absentmindedly.
> 
> He hadn't meant to say that aloud.


	23. The Third Mistake: It Echoes

Dashing at a fastening pace, the head soldier let go of the bobbed blond behind him knowing that even without his grip like vice the subordinate would follow as Levi caught up to the female warrior ahead of them. Catching the woman's wrist, his fingertips almost slipped from her clenched fist which had been in repetition of pulling forward so as to lead into taking another step. Mikasa flung around trying to yank her arm from the older man's grasp with fury evident in her piercing gaze.

"Who do you think you are?" hissed the female warrior as her muscles clenched and posture stiffened in predisposed impatience.

Levi glared at Mikasa, "Your higher up, of course."

"And that's all you'll ever be," spat Mikasa as she again tried to escape the older man's hold on her.

The Captain knew that his statement had been a rotting anchor, but he hadn't expected Mikasa to say what she had. Because even though it was such a childish and empty attack meant to only make him let her go…

_Somehow, someway…_

It had struck something in him.

Why was everyone doing this to him?

"You do realize that the way you were acting earlier was inappropriate and as a matter of fact—quite shameful don't you?" spoke Levi calmly, though his hold on Mikasa did not loosen.

Why was everyone shutting him out?

Leaving him in the dark?

Cutting him off and rejecting his every offer to help?

"You know more. You've seen more. You've experienced enough," continued Levi firmly.

The Captain exhaled as he let go of the woman before him reluctantly, "You should understand that no matter what those youngsters say, should it be from rumor or truth; they hold nothing to what you have withstood."

Mikasa's scowl seemed to ease, but the stiffness in her profile did not loosen, "I don't care what I have withstood."

Levi blinked as Armin crept up from behind him cautiously unsure of what to make of the scene.

"I don't care what I've suffered—what I've lost or what I will lose," spoke Mikasa quietly as her gaze drifted from Levi to the ground, "Because in the end, so what if I win the world? Because 'the world' isn't my world. It's not."

Levi swallowed nervously as he felt his heart racing at the anticipated declaration.

"Eren is my world."

And suddenly Humanity's Strongest was back to square one—faltering.

"Even if Eren doesn't want to, I'll find some method to make sure he understands what I've just told you." Mikasa spoke bitterly, "I know Eren."

The dangerous glint that showed in the female warrior's eyes was one that Levi recognized all too well.

"I know what Eren wants—and it's definitely not this. If Eren won't make the choice for himself, then I will. I know him better than anyone else here," finished Mikasa as if trying to convince herself more so than anyone.

Mentally, Levi was kicking the sand between his feet and wondering where he went wrong.

Where had he lost track of the threads that held his squad together?

From what Mikasa had just stated, the newbies must have said something about Eren and the woman's relationship which had in turn angered the female warrior- something that taunted the truth in Mikasa's mind… Something that perhaps reflected the sad reality that the German male did not exactly reciprocate what the female raven head felt towards Eren.

And it only made Levi all the more aware of what Mikasa was capable of…

And what had happened to Eren.

"Mikasa…," cut in Armin's soft timid voice, "If you…"

The blond bob paused inhaling as his eyes bore into the two legendary warriors before him.

"We know Eren. We do," reassured Armin as he bit his upper lip in thought, "But even so, shouldn't we ask for his feelings anyway? Maybe it'll be the same as what you're thinking—but there's also a possibility that we're not seeing the whole picture to how Eren feels about… all of this."

Although Levi stood within the path of the conversation, he could not truly understand all the aspects of what the two were implying from this discussion. But even so, the Captain attempted to place the pieces of this broken puzzle together as best as he could. Listening to the distant echoes of other soldiers occupying the building, the bobbed blond's words slowly soaked in. If Levi was placing all the fragments of this muddled drama together correctly, then Mikasa was truly and completely enthralled by Eren's very existence. By witnessing the woman state her sentiments towards Eren herself, Levi could no longer doubt that the female warrior held emotions much too strong for Eren to return.

And it worried the older man.

It really did…

Because his muddled brain from before the last expedition had already proposed a guilty verdict. A verdict that had caused his internal faith in his subordinates to become strained. The only reason why Levi had rejected the proposal that Mikasa could have possibly hurt Eren was his faith in the female warrior. Faith that surely Mikasa was strong enough to put others first before her own needs and wants. And he had witnessed such flaring courage and self-discipline from her in past— He really had. So to have even allowed for his own internal thoughts to propose such an idea was preposterous.

But now…

The idea was becoming so very plausible.

Clearer and clearer in his mind.

Levi stood frozen in front of Mikasa, whose gaze had fallen on one of the stale stone walls, most likely still considering Armin's words. The Captain could feel a chill creeping up his shoulders as his brain became an empty void- his rational chain of thought having been cut short, stuck in a moment of utter silence as he stood there staring straight at Mikasa's form.

Could it be…?

Could it be that because Mikasa was reckless, she failed to hide her romantic sentiments for Eren from the world?

_"As I have said before, someone hurt Eren, sir."_

Could it be that because there was no way to conceal her emotional attachment to the German male that she proposed a scapegoat should she be suspected of?

_"It's Commander Erwin."_

And though the question rang strongly in Levi's mind and made his will and faith in Mikasa wilt even more, the Captain could not say it. Even though the Captain knew that prolonging his confrontation with the woman would only extend his worrisome state, he could not confess his suspicions.

He had no proof.

But more than that—

Levi felt that, by allowing himself to state aloud his doubts pertaining to Mikasa, he would tarnish the single thread that held him and her together as Captain and subordinate. Because even with how distant he was, Levi could not trash the trust and conviction that he had built with his own soldiers. Even as the French male recognized this flaw within himself, he could not withdraw from his strengthening stubbornness.

"Fine," Mikasa finally answered after a weak sigh left her lips.

Armin smiled weakly at the fact that his female friend had let the majority of her steam cool off. The blond stepped forward passing the Captain as Armin followed the female warrior. Levi said nothing to his subordinates dismissing his presence as he trailed behind the two in automation. As the three turned the final corner that led to Hange's room, they noticed the sudden sound of hushed whispers filling the corridor. Mikasa quirked an eyebrow in surprise while Armin's face became strangely lost to the scene before him.

"What are you three doing?" spat Mikasa as she squinted at the entrance to Hange's office.

There were two girls and a boy—perhaps in their mid-teens with face being so young and youthful—which were hunched over seemingly peeping into the crack of the entrance to the room. Mikasa's low and icy voice brought them out of their short reverie.

"Uh…," stammered the boy in a hushed voice with fear quite evident on his face, "W-we were j-just…"

Before the teenager could answer though, the two girls with him took hold of his arm hushing him.

One of the girls, tallest of the three, answered quietly with a practiced salute, "We were passing by and suddenly heard a sound. We thought someone had gotten injured or needed assistance so we rushed to help but the situation was already under control—urm… We were just about to leave."

"Then leave," hissed Mikasa as her dark blue eyes bore into the three trainees swaying them.

The trio too frightened to talk back gave a quick salute before scampering down the corridor and out of sight. With the eavesdropping trainees out of the way, Mikasa was just about to pull the door open when she heard the sound of someone's voice…

Too hushed and tender…

"That's why…"

There was an elongated pause between all three of them in recognition of the owner of the voice.

It was Eren speaking.

"I didn't want you to ever find out. Because I know—I get you."

Within the room there was a slight shuffle but no voice reverberated as the trio stood still staring at the door uncertain of how to move on forward.

It was like dejavu took hold of Levi.

"I understand how you are. And I can't bear to see you like this."

Suddenly the sound of a certain blond Commander began to echo out from Hange's office.

"I…"

Levi could see that Mikasa was not going to enter.

She was not going to interrupt them.

Levi could not withhold the growing impatience within himself because there was one thing that the Captain did not do purposefully- though it happened accidentally from time to time.

Levi did not eavesdrop.

Erwin could be heard softly speaking, "Always…"

Even Armin gave the Captain a worried sidelong glance with unsaid straining emotions. There was the distant sound of footsteps echoing from the end of the hallway as Levi's patience ran out. The man stepped forward pushing Mikasa aside with a grunt. As the door swung open, Levi looked into the room ready to address Erwin, Eren, and any other dumbbell that occupied the small quarter. But instead of moving forward with his usual piqued profile, he was struck by the scene before him.

"Always loved you," finished the blond Commander, voice no longer muffled by the door.

Levi hadn't meant to pause—or to allow for his eyes to even linger.

But there he was with beady orbs wide in utter astonishment as he witnessed the German male cling to Erwin as if his life depended on it. The blond Commander's wide arms encircled the ex-shifter in a gentle hold.

It was only a second that the Captain was deaf to the world-

But in that crucial moment Levi found himself empty.

Lost to what was going on before him.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!" cut in a screeching demand.

The sensation of losing the motions of time were cut short when Mikasa dashed forward shoving him to the side. The Captain's practiced body held its ground, balancing the shorter man with ease.

Sadly, his heart did not do the same.

Mikasa yanked Erwin's arm away from the brunet as she continued to yell curses at the military veteran—but Levi could barely register anything that was being said. Before he knew it, he found himself automatically swaying forward towards Eren who had apparently fallen onto the ground from the force of the female warrior's actions. The brunet did his best to recover from the fall as Levi attempted to ask if Eren was alright. However, the French man's brain failed his tongue leaving him to simply gaze at the ex-shifter in a frozen stupor. So instead the Captain found himself simply standing by the younger man's side hovering uselessly.

Somehow Armin had gotten into the physical complication of Erwin and Mikasa's struggle and was attempting to pull the younger woman away from Erwin. The German male on the other hand was yelling at Mikasa saying something that seemed to only fuel the woman's anger. All that Levi could register was the flustered expression on the German male's face in concern and fear as he continued to yell out a certain blond Commander's name—

Over.

And over.

And over again—

Making the word echo and bounce in the French man's vacant mind.

Levi blinked trying to clear his blocked off cognizance in order to do something.

Anything.

But though some fraction of his brain was screaming for him to get up and control the situation, another part had completely shut off leaving the Captain in an utter mess of immobilization.

"What the fuck's going on here?" cut in a clear and disbelieving voice that Levi could not recognize. The Captain turned to see Hange at the door with a stubby and gaudy stranger at her side.

There was more yelling—more curses and more physical struggle as Levi continued to stand by Eren's side feebly finding the power to, at the bare minimum, tug on the tail of the brunet's shirt in a gesture of weak control. At some point, the noise in the room died down to Levi's relief, though his body was still locked in place in utter standstill.

Hange's voice broke into his frozen mind suddenly, "Levi."

The Captain looked up to see the eccentric with a concerned expression on her face, "Take Eren down. Please."

Levi answered with a grunt, not even turning to Eren to give the usual order. Even so, the brunet tailed the Captain out of the room. Levi barely registered the world around him as he trudged through the countless corridors of the building. Before the French man knew it though, Eren and Levi were already at the entrance to the basement. The younger man stepped in first with Levi following. The two guards at the entrance closed the heavy door behind them leaving the Captain and German male to step down the small stairs alone into the freezing cell. The Captain opened the creaking metal door with his key allowing for the German male to enter the small and gritty quarter. The brunet shivered as he began to trudge towards his bed. Eren moved forward and kept both eyes glued to the frozen stone ground when he suddenly heard the older man from behind him.

"So it's okay if it's Erwin, huh?" spoke Levi with a slight hint of bitterness absentmindedly.

He hadn't meant to say that aloud.

But Levi's pride was too hurt, bruised by the realization that over the course of five days during the last expedition the Captain could barely hold hands with Eren over a period of a night. And yet, within the first day of returning from said expedition, Eren had allowed for Erwin to hold him in a full blown embrace.

How could it be that Eren could withstand so much contact from the blond Commander already when just a day ago the ex-shifter could only warily handle being under contact with Levi in Hange's tent?

The French soldier jaw tightened in frustration…

Was Levi not capable?

Did he not have the ability to aid his soldiers as effectively as Erwin?

Or could it be…?

> _"I understand how you are. And I can't bear to see you like this."_

Could it be that Erwin was an exception?

An exception that held a special place in Eren's heart?

If that were so, then that would make sense as to why Levi could not close the gap between himself and Eren as effectively as Erwin had.

> _"You're higher up, of course."_

Because Levi was just not close enough.

> _"And that's all you'll ever be."_

Just not close enough to Eren.

Just not close enough to the brunet's heart.

"Sir?" questioned the younger man before him with confusion plain on his face.

Levi did not respond immediately. The Captain had made a slip by addressing a topic that he had no means of preparing for. The French man had hoped that Eren would let the comment slide, but how could he? The tone of the Captain's voice—the way he had said it out loud so clearly and haughtily as if he had a right to Eren's personal life…

It was true.

Levi didn't have a right to Eren's personal life.

But if the brunet's personal life endangered Eren's performance, then the Captain was allowed to intervene. The Captain leaned against the icy bars of Eren's cell as he messaged his temple with a hiss.

That was what had started all of this, hadn't it?

The fact that Eren's performance was failing.

Did Levi seriously need to intervene anymore?

Eren may not be completely one hundred percent recovered, but he was well enough now that he could handle himself.

Levi didn't need to baby him.

The evidence was there in plain sight.

Eren had been able to handle Hange's experiment…

Able to tolerate to a very weak degree of contact with Levi—

And more than willing to have physical contact with Erwin.

> _"I have always, always, loved you."_

Levi's teeth grinded against each other as he failed to realize that his fingers, which had been messaging his temple, had simply ceased into a shaking press of index and thumb into flesh.

Levi had been too confident in his analysis of Erwin—too sure of the blond Commander's character. And that is why he had failed to allow for himself to even consider the possibility of Erwin being in love with Eren. But with the blond man literally stating his sentiments towards the ex-shifter in such a manner… Levi could not deny Erwin's romantic feelings for the brunet. But did the brunet feel the same? The Captain wasn't sure from the little that he was able to catch from the two men's conversation.

> _"Because I know- I get you. I understand how you are."_

However, from Eren's statement—Levi knew that the brunet did indeed treasure Erwin. Perhaps as much as he cared for Mikasa and Armin.

> _"And I can't bear to see you like this."_

And possibly even more...

Eren watched his keeper stand at the entrance to his cell, leaving the German male with no response. The brunet wondered if perhaps the Captain had not heard him. But if Levi did, then Eren didn't want to repeat himself and perhaps get reprimanded for being impatient. With a sudden exhale, Levi's shoulders slumped in defeat. The older man entered the ex-shifter's quarter and was about to address Eren when he stopped short. The ex-shifter was about to part lips and ask just what was wrong when Levi answered his thoughts.

"The fuck," spat the Captain with eyes widening, "Why is your place so dirty?"

The brunet jumped at the realization that his pack from the expedition had been thrown carelessly at the foot of his bed. His tattered and mud stained clothes had been abandoned on the surface of his mattress leaving unfortunate brown stains on the surface of his cream sheets.

"Oh! Crap!" yelped Eren as he hurriedly ran towards his bed and began to pick up his dirty garments, "I… I apologize Captain. I was unpacking when Armin came down and suddenly started talking about—"

"What's this?" snapped Levi, cutting into the brunet's rambling without warning.

The ex-shifter began to utter more apologies comparing his shameful cell to a pig pen as he turned around to see just what additional trash Levi could have possibly picked up off the ground. As Eren swiftly spun around to excuse his failure to keep up with Levi's standard, the German male's green orbs settled on the item that Levi held within his grasp. Eren froze immediately recognizing the smaller uniform shirt that the Captain was holding. The French male did not look up from the tattered and blood stained cotton within his clenched fist. Silence enveloped the cell as the Captain continued to stare at the polo shirt, taking notice of every single little aspect of the trashed cloth that he recognized all too well.

"Why do you have my shirt?" spoke Levi as he turned his gaze towards Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 24 Preview:
> 
> "What..." inhaled Levi as the whites in his eyes widened in utter horror, "Did you just say?"
> 
> How could Eren possibly respond?


	24. The Third Mistake: Forgive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> H-hello... *hides behind rock and cautiously pokes head out*
> 
> Here you go. I'm not sure when I'll have the next chapter up, but just to let you all know-- I'm poking around here again.
> 
> Levi's at his limit now-- if you haven't noticed yet. Eren's doing a double take on his methods of protection and Hange... Well... She's busy as FUCK. So, urm, yeah. 8D"
> 
> People are asking me will Levi EVER know of Erwin's wrong doing. OF COURSE. It's coming up, my buns. It's coming up, just not yet. And besides, you all know me! I would never be THAT merciful to Levi. =w= 
> 
> And thank you. THANK. YOU. For everyone that has kept up with this fic even when I was about half dead with updating and had to re-upload everything onto AO3 again. *A*999 You all have been so supportive and awesome to me, I don't know how to tell you all how grateful I am. But again thank you for your support and for reading this fic up to this moment. ;A; If anyone has any questions or comments, just drop a message below!
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

Levi didn't want to talk about it.

He didn't want Eren to talk about his comment pertaining to Erwin a moment ago. So in order to detract his statement, he tried to make the trash in the brunet's room seem more than what it was. But to his surprise when he glanced down at his feet, he saw his own uniform shirt lying there in utter tatters.

"Why do you have my shirt?"

It was a simple question. And Eren seemed to answer him quite willingly.

Sadly, the brunet's response failed to satisfy the head soldier.

"It's mine," interjected the brunet, firmly.

Perhaps if this had been another time, another moment, another setting… Maybe, just maybe Levi would have let Eren's own stupid defense slide. But no… The amounting recollection of lies built on further lies only seemed to fuel the Captain's impatience. His temper flared within his chest, and the growing embers began to ashen his lungs with a feeling of distaste. This sensation burdening the older man's shoulder caused for his profile to shudder as he sensed the swelling disappointment within himself congest his throat. Levi could not withhold the words that spewed from his lips.

Even though they were perhaps childish.

Even whiny in their utterances.

"You know what?" breathed Levi with a drawn out exhale.

Eren wasn't sure what to expect as the older man folded the tattered shirt into a neat bundle and approached him steadily without making eye contact.

"I'm sick of you beating around the bush," spat the Captain as he grew closer to the younger man, "I'm sick of you dancing around with all of this secrecy."

Eren's eyes widened in wonder as the military veteran came to stand right in front of him.

"I'M. SICK. OF. IT," hissed Humanity's Strongest, with broken chips of ice staring straight into the German male's own emeralds.

Even as the Captain shook in anger, the brunet did nothing save stare right back.

"Why have you become like this?" growled the French male as if in accusation, "Do you really think I'm stupid?"

Eren stood silently…

Still with no response.

"Do you think I can't recognize my own—DAMN. FUCKING. SHIRT?" spat the older man louder than before with venom in every word, "Do you think I'm FUCKING STUPID?"

Levi could not conceal the utter indignation swallowing him.

"I'M NOT STUPID!" shouted the French soldier as he raised a tightened fist suddenly into the air.

The sound, like the slap of a crumbling body submerging into water, resounded loudly in the cell making Eren flinch. The Captain had embedded a single trembling fist into the stone hard rocks that lined the closest wall to them. Immediately noticing the blood trickling from the older man's knuckles, the brunet felt his heart drop. Levi glared at the German male with a dark scowl as he raised his fist again in preparation for another strike towards the stone wall. However, the German male swiftly dashed forward, attempting to catch hold of Levi's hand. Unluckily, the older man stepped to the side, avoiding him.

"Sir!" snapped Eren in utter shock, "St- Stop that right now!"

Levi stood at the edge of the cell near the exit of the room and squinted at the German male with an irritated click of tongue.

"Really now?" jeered the Captain.

The German male's eyes inflated as distress began to flood his inner gates, "Sir, I will not stand idly by!"

"Funny, because I seriously thought only I could feel that way, with all that you've been keeping to yourself," spat the Captain sarcastically with a dry laugh, "How strange that you've come around so suddenly."

Levi found he could no longer control himself anymore. His frustration. Fear. Desire. Anxiety. It was all spinning within himself. His heart drummed against his chest as he felt a rush of blood fill his ears. The unfairness that had been thrust upon him from learning of Eren's situation began to anchor his words into a spitfire. His bleeding fist only trembled further as his brows shoved against another, almost concealing his squinting eyes mimicking a slit of cresent moon.

It came out in strings of curses, gasping cuts of breath that flew forth striking Eren's profile.

"Erwin's different, isn't he?" accused Levi without warning.

Eren stepped back in confusion, "Wha—"

"That's why he could do it," began the Captain as he spun around facing Eren again, "He's captured your affections. That's why he was able to…"

The image of Eren and the blond Commander clinging to each other rebounded from his pool of memories and filled his vision. Levi buried his face into his bleeding hand in utter distraught. The brunet's voice calling out to Erwin from earlier began to reverberate in his mind again. The syllables of the blond's name echoed, bouncing back and forth beneath his eyelids.

"Ugh. That's why you let him—"

"Hold me?" cut in the brunet with eyes still wide, but now more calm from the sudden understanding of where this was headed.

The French man glanced at Eren's face that was twisted in utter horror.

"You…," gasped Eren with face pale, "You thought that he was an exception? An exception to my fear of touch?"

The Captain swallowed nervously as he felt the impending doom of rejection of his inquiry on the brunet's condition.

Eren heavily sighed as his eyes trailed down to Levi's injured limb.

"I have my reasons for embracing Commander Erwin, sir," explained Eren, reluctantly, "And although Erwin is special to me… He is not…"

Eren paused, thinking through is words cautiously, "He's not in any way my romantic partner, sir."

"That's a lie, isn't it?" indicted Levi with a darkened face.

The Captain could not believe the German male's statement. Not when all the evidence of Eren's lying streak and Erwin's present confession of love for the brunet still clearly stood within Levi's memories.

"No, it's n—," began Eren with a soft inhale to calm himself from what this situation was starting to turn towards.

"Yes, it is!" cut in Levi with a snarl.

Levi knew that he was being childish.

Foolish even.

Levi seethed in utter fury, "How the FUCK is this understandable? How can you even say it's not true when I can barely understand what the FUCK—YOU and damn shitting ERWIN are doing right now, huh?"

He was being an impatient little brat, pissing on every little crumb that Eren was feeding him.

Levi could not help it.

He had been deprived of Eren's good word and honesty. The French man had lost the brunet's trust since that night of the Legion Scout celebrations even though he had done absolutely nothing wrong. He had suffered because of the damn bag of dicks that scarred Eren. And now, even with the Captain's efforts of helping Eren— someone else had found a way of reaching out to the younger man that was far more effective than his own. And though Eren outright denied having romantic affections towards Erwin, how in the world could that possibly explain his exception to the German male's fear of touch when even Mikasa and Armin failed to make that huge leap with the German male?

Nothing made sense.

Nothing.

Why was Levi so caught up in all of this though?

Why was it that Humanity's Strongest could not let this go?

The French man knew it. Could feel it.

It was all because of…

"…your pride," murmured Eren quietly.

The German male took a step forward slowly, cautious of the Captain.

"I'm sorry," spoke Eren, more clearly this time, "I… I've hurt you, haven't I? I…"

Levi wanted to disappear. He wanted to shrink into nothingness and escape. Because he didn't want to hear an apology from Eren. Levi wanted something else. Something more. But the older man was much too preoccupied by the sensation of irritation in his chest to name it.

"I've hurt your pride, haven't I?" echoed the brunet's voice softly.

Levi attempted to leave the cell then, but the sudden awareness of warmth around one of his wrist stopped him. Attempting to yank his hand away, the grip only became stronger, firm and confident.

"And I know how proud you are of your capability," continued the ex-shifter as a weak smile began to paint his lips, "So I apologize if I let you think that… You weren't capable. That your efforts had been in vain in helping me. Or that, even if they weren't in vain, they have been… less effective than someone else's methods. Because they were not, sir."

Eren reached forward to take hold of the side of Levi's shoulder in order to turn his torso back towards himself. Levi stiffened, afraid that at any moment the brunet might go too far for Eren's own good. And then the Captain would be forced to witness Eren's physical rejection of the older man's touch.

"You're still Humanity's Strongest…," reassured the younger man with a small smile, "And though Erwin is smart, really smart. Intelligent beyond us, probably save Armin and Hange. You didn't let me down."

Though Levi's profile had been turned to address the German male in full, his eyes were still wandering the cracks of the ground emptily. Waiting.

Levi began ranting in a speedy hiss, "You don't have to comfort me, Eren. Nor do you have to test yourself with me. I—"

"It was because of you, sir," spoke Eren firmly, breaking off Levi, "Because of you that I could… That I could handle Erwi-"

Levi's train of thought suddenly halted.

"That can't be," interjected Levi as he tried to pull away from Eren's grasp, "What I have done…"

Humanity's Strongest's eyes shot Eren's own gaze, disbelievingly.

"What I've done, it's not enough," rejected the French male, faithless, "It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to cure you, damn brat. I'm not that damn st—"

"That's true, b-but…," spoke the brunet as Eren's confidence suddenly wavered, making him pull away from the Captain weakly.

Suddenly dead silence converged their conversation into a standstill.

"But what?" murmured Levi curiously, though his eyes only seemed to rise in suspicion with every second that prolonged.

Eren could see where their conversation was heading towards, and the brunet could not help but want to end their string of thought before it became too late to turn back. But then a sudden sensation struck him.

_Guilt._

Without realizing, the brunet could feel a sudden and cold dread pool at the bottom of his stomach. His mind became blank as he realized the audacity of what could possibly occur should he relay the information that Levi was so boldly requesting.

Eren's face became deadly expressionless.

"I- I…"gasped Eren in utter fear as he found his form suddenly becoming very small.

The brunet gritted his teeth, with eyes shut closed in utter confliction. When he had been treating the Captain that blizzarding night, he had told himself he would take full responsibility. That he would take the consequences of his actions full on. But now that those consequences were emerging, the German male found himself unprepared.

Because Eren didn't know what those consequences would be.

Because he had approached the situation too naively…

Because he had been too sure of what he had been doing that he had failed to see all of the mistakes he had made…

Eren had overlooked his position, pillared his emotions that were not consistent enough and rationalized his points in a view that only benefited himself.

"I know that things will never be the same, but I'm alright now. I am, sir. So trust me," said Eren, hesitantly.

The Captain reached forward, capturing the taller man's shoulders firmly with both hands. Running his palms over the subordinate's firm chest, touching the younger man's arms, hip, waist, and face in quick succession.

"What did you do?" exhaled Humanity's strongest, unable to believe the evidence right before his eyes.

"I…" began Eren as he realized what the older man just asked.

The brunet pulled away as dread began to crawl up his spine.

"I'm…" shook out the brunet in choppy murmurs, "Please, if I... Then... Would you…?"

But Eren could not say it. And so, he turned away from the older man in utter horror.

The brunet felt pathetic, shameful even.

Because now he understood.

He understood.

The feelings that must have been going through Erwin's mind. Before, Eren had been the victim; he had been given the privilege of control. But now that the German male was the guilty one, he had no say in what would happen to himself. And though, it was true that Eren hardly found himself worth any value of redeeming, the ex-shifter was afraid of what would happen to Levi.

And it was so tragic and pitiful that Erwin, who had been shoved into a closet of ignorance against his will, had been able to withstand this inner turmoil. And yet, Eren— who perhaps still had a chance of redeeming himself—couldn't even withhold begging for mercy.

Now, all Eren could think about was how he could have been so cruel to the blond commander when the brunet had given him no other answer to his redemption, save the one that Eren himself proposed. The brunet had thought he had been backed into a corner, because he had been. But viewing the hill from the other side, Eren now realized that the grass was no greener. No. Instead it was more parched than the Saharan desert that barely budded any life.

Upon realizing this, Eren could not withhold the details of that wintery night. Because he was not the victim. Because he was not the one ignorant and free-will taken away. No. It was Levi's. And to cast aside this information, this truth that was, in every right, Levi's to know… It was wrong. Unjust.

And now Eren could see. If he had been in Erwin's position, he would have prayed to know his guilt. To understand his faults so that he could understand what he had done and perhaps redeem himself. Even if it was not redemption from the victim, at the very least from himself… Because Eren understood.

Everyone wished to be forgiven and accepted in some way.

Every person in the world wanted to find relief.

Escape.

Peace.

And how could have Erwin ever found it, if he had not discovered the flaw in his actions the night of the legion scouts himself? Erwin had sought after redemption himself in ways different from Eren. He had attempted to make the most of what Eren was willing to give him. And what had Eren given him, save secrecy and ignorance of the mistakes of the blond commander?

The world wasn't perfect.

And that was why these sort of thoughts gave Eren no peace. But, it urged him to speak. Even if it would hurt himself. Even if it would hurt Levi. Because what was worse than standing in action, ready to pull out a blade?

Sitting in silence without an inkling of what was happening around oneself and with only one order.

To wait.

Eren would go insane.

So how could Erwin have made it through those nights of silence from Eren?

The question scared the brunet to death.

"Body heat."

Levi blinked.

And then suddenly Eren's unimaginable recovery, the brunet's lack of hesitation with everything that Hange proposed, his stubbornness in their argument in that tent of his self worth…

Everything.

It clicked in Levi's brain.

The heat at the base of his stomach soothed abruptly as he realized that Eren hadn't lied, for once. No, the brunet hadn't. The Captain's anger deflated like a balloon as he felt calmly satisfied to finally be fed a piece of the puzzle that actually fit. However, as Levi slowly placed the few fragments that he had been able to obtain from Eren together…

He realized something.

If this was an actual shard of truth, then perhaps that meant that Erwin's confession had been one sided. And if the Commander's affections were unrequited, seeing as Eren just confessed that they were not romantically involved, did that mean that the German male did not feel the same way as Erwin? Or was it that Eren was just not willing to address such a topic because of its irrelevance to their conversation?

Oh, but what did it matter to Levi?

What did it MATTER to him?

Levi stood there, staring at the brunet's back silently in fascination at his own thoughts and then confusion by the German male's silence.

Reaching out to the subordinate, Levi grabbed Eren's shoulder to spin him around, "Surely you can't be embarrassed by protocol for first ai…"

The words died on his tongue as Eren turned to face him. The expression on the ex-shifter's face was stale, strangely grave. Eren stepped away from the Captain and headed towards his small bed nervously. His bed was still a bit dirty from his belongings from before. The subordinate pulled away the stained blanket on the top and folded it into a neat pile before placing it at the foot of the bed. Proceeding to sit on the edge of the mattress, Eren looked up at Levi then with green eyes flashing in unsaid determination and finality.

"Come here, sir," commanded the German male in a hushed tone as he patted the spot next to himself.

Levi stared at the younger man for a moment considering the situation at hand. The older man approached the edge of the bed cautiously unsure of Eren's sudden intensity. After settling down, the Captain turned to Eren with an expressionless gaze awaiting the brunet's preposition.

Without warning, Eren reached out to the older man next to him and took hold of the Captain's injured hand gingerly. The Captain did not retaliate in anyway as he continued to watch the younger man before him, unsure of what to make of the situation. Slowly, Eren brought the French male's bloody limb towards himself at eye level and glanced at the scratches and bruises that had begun to form. Levi could see that his hand was so close to the younger man's face that he could feel Eren's very breath blowing onto his pale flesh.

Perhaps the brunet was examining it?

Suddenly, Eren's green orbs flashed up to meet with Levi's own as the younger man's lips parted intently. Levi could not have foretold what would happen and so froze immediately the moment he saw the wet appendage close in on his shaking flesh. Eren's tongue slid up from the base of his wrist capturing the smudges of blood there to Levi's blue and purple scarred knuckles. All Levi could do was stare as his brain froze in utter shock at the sudden sensation of Eren's mouth sucking, tasting his skin. The hot and wet cavern engulfed his blood and bruised knuckles giving the older man occasional soft and gentle suctions here and there.

As Eren's tongue departed from the French male's flesh now trembling with goosebumps, the Captain noticed how the brunet's saliva suddenly grew thick in consistency. Sluggishly, the syrupy like goo began to turn a golden color similar to honey. Levi could only watch in amazement as he stared at his hand disbelieving.

"How-," choked out Levi but Eren was quicker.

"I don't know, but it heals."

Levi looked up at the younger man before him who seemed to be suddenly very afraid.

"Do you think Hange and the others will—"

"No," cut in Levi steadily, "They won't report this to the court. I'm sure of it. It's too small and not worth the uproar that it would cause."

Levi wouldn't let them, in truth. Eren simply nodded to the older man's statement.

"This is what I did to you."

Levi's froze in place as he tried to process what Eren was trying to say.

"What?" questioned Levi without thinking.

Eren attempted to look at Levi, but could find no courage to as he stood up from the bed abruptly and paced apprehensively away from the Captain.

Before reaching the door to his cell, Eren abruptly came to a stop, "I did that to you… I- I…"

Levi got up as well, intent on clarifying what the brunet had just stated.

There was an anxiety suddenly swelling at the base of Levi's stomach.

"What..." inhaled Levi as the whites in his eyes widened in utter horror, "Did you just say?"

How could Eren possibly respond?

Again, the room grew empty of noise. Eren was at loss on what to do as he continued to stare at the open cell door before him. From behind him, the presence of the Captain was beginning to grow stronger and stronger. Levi's intense gaze bore into Eren's back. The Captain's whole body radiated with emotions that could not be named.

"Are you trying to say that—"

"YES!" shouted out Eren, desperate to just get it over with.

The brunet swiftly turned around and paced towards Levi without warning. The Captain would have jumped back but Eren took a hold of Levi's shoulder firmly as his other hand pressed against Levi's chest.

"I did that to you here," hissed Eren barely above a whisper.

Levi's heart quickened.

"And here," continued the brunet as the tips of his fingers pressed down Levi's stomach trailing to down until mid drift.

The two stood frozen with faces a mere centimeter apart. Their breaths brushed against each other's face as green orbs cut into pale chips of ice. Eren was shaking and Levi could do nothing but stare in utter astonishment.

Eren inhaled slowly before whispering into Levi's ear, "And here."

The brunet's fingers dropped down passed the man's hip about to brush against...

"Woohoo! Eren! Levi! Please don't tell me you guys fell asleeeeep!" sang Hange as her footsteps echoed from above.

Eren turned around towards the entrance of the cell and pulled away from the Captain. Levi continued to stand frozen in spot.

"Finally!" grinned Hange when she finally reached the entrance to the cell, "I couldn't believe how long that took! You would think we were in some sort of drama composed by the play writers in the capital. Ugh!"

Levi stiffly stepped forward glancing at Eren, but no expression of worry was on the younger man's face.

"So Levi, I'm going to need to speak with Eren for a bit. But…," breathed Hange excitedly, "Our dear noble guest wants to take a quick tour of our horse care for… funding purposes. I would have done it earlier, but with all of this drama happening, things kind of took their own course."

"Why can't you just tour him tomorrow?" spat the Captain in his usual monotone, hoping that Hange wouldn't catch onto the way his voice was a bit strained more than usual.

Hange sighed dramatically completely distracted by the papers in her hand, "Because he's leaving tomorrow morning, Leeeeevi."

"Then just talk to Eren tomorrow then," interjected Levi with an expressionless face.

"I can't!" whined Hange scratching at her messy hair manically, "Stop making this harder for me, clean freak! I'm tired as is!"

Levi clicked his tongue as he walked passed the eccentric uneasily.

"Erwin's. Make it quick will you? Can't keep a noble waiting too long, you know?" snickered Hange triumphantly.

Levi's eyes crinkled in disdain as he began to climb the stairs out of Eren's dungeon in a strange hurry. He could hear Hange's voice continue to echo from behind him acquiring Eren's mental and physical status. Their voices reverberated until the sounds became a blurry sound that he could no longer understand.

Levi made it to the entrance of the dungeon and passed by the two guards who stood silently watching the halls.

"Is everything alright, sir?" questioned one of them.

Levi gave a grunt with a stiff nod as he quickly paced down the hallway.

The sound of laughter from the cafeteria signaled that the ex-shifters and possibly others were still awake having fun. Levi cared little for their little merry games though.

His heart was about to burst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 25 Preview:
> 
> "Haven't you heard the rumors?" chuckled Sir Won.
> 
> Levi frowned at the man.


	25. The Third Mistake: Without Filters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here's the next chapter. I can't believe this is halfway to fifty chapters. O-O I am not planning to have fifty chapters worth of writing... BUT, it all just depends how this plays out. I am hoping I can get everything completed within thirty five-ish for TFM, but we'll just have to see. 
> 
> Also... I did not realize that most YA novels are like seventy thousand words. I've written almost one hundred thousand words! Can you believe that?! And I can't even BELIEVE you guys have READ all of that! It's just... mind blowing! God damn!
> 
> I don't know how to feel about this chapter, because I never planned to make it this far in this fic. Like... I wrote this WHOLE fic because there was this SPECIFIC SCENE I suddenly thought up out of the blue that just wouldn't go away back when I first started shipping Eren with people. And then my shipping mind fell out of control and a few more scenes came up.
> 
> Ugh. Stupid feels. Wish I could control them better.
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

"Gorgeous! Gorgeous stallions!" sang Sir Won as he almost danced through the horse stalls.

The sun was already setting with little specks of stars in the sky. Levi said nothing as he waited for the fat stubby noble to finish inspecting the numerous stallions at their disposal outside of the barn. Levi could have came to the conclusion that the man was a farmer or something with how excited Sir Won seemed to be. The Captain turned and looked up at the sky, watching the sketchy clouds drift slowly. 

Peaceful.

The world seemed to be so peaceful.

Sadly, within the walls of the Legion Scouts' headquarters, it was not. Because even though the titans were gone, monsters weren't. Levi gritted his teeth in thought. Monsters were everywhere and they were living, breathing humans.

And they were tearing down innocent...

_Weak smiles._

Beautiful...

_Green eyes._

Wonderful...

_Stubborn remarks._

Human beings.

Levi's eyes drifted to the ground as a scowl painted his face.

"That was magnificent!" spoke the noble as he came out of the barn with a smirk on his face, "Wonderfully so. I will make sure that these beauties do not ever suffer in these conditions ever again. You have my word, Captain."

The head soldier gave a firm nod at the man who was miraculously shorter than Levi.

"Was there anything else you needed before I see you to your room?" responded Humanity's Strongest, expressionless.

"No, nothing more at all," laughed the noble as he fanned his fat hand about next to his face, "We can be off."

The dying light of the sun reflected off Sir Won's gaudy rings. The jewels were stunning, housed in gold and silver lining that wrapped his fingers. Before Levi could stop himself, the words slipped from his tongue.

"Emeralds."

Sir Won blinked as they began to travel down the small hill, not having been paying too much attention to the taller man, but immediately answered, "Are you referring to my rings, Captain?"

"Do you have emeralds?" repeated Levi, wondering if the introduction of such a topic seemed off.

The noble laughed out loud and hardy, not seemingly suspicious of the sudden question.

"Why of course, Captain. Though not with me. Why do you ask?"

The two could see the entrance of Headquarters as they continued to stroll through the grass field slowly. The noble's strides were the cause of it.

"I've often wondered how they look like," responded Levi quietly in thought, "People say they are green. Beautiful. I wonder about that."

"They are," insisted Sir Won dramatically, "Green, luscious jewels! I have a thing for gems you know. If you ever want to see my collection, send word through the Commander and we can have our own little tour of my personal gallery. Most definitely not a waste of time, I'd say."

Levi gave a grunt of acknowledgement though he knew that he would never go to a noble's house just to waste time staring at rocks. He had way too much to do. However, Sir Won continued to yap on and on about his collection and the rare unseen gems he had found on his own personal expeditions and treasure hunts now that the walls were down. When the two finally made it into base, the noble's ranting seemed to have died down. The hallways were already lit and many soldiers were already going to bed. Dinner was finished after all. Only a few soldiers were left to diddle daddle in the halls in order to converse with their friends. They all seemed to be whispering to each other in haste as if their little gossips would be heard any moment now. Levi internally rolled his eyes and lead Sir Won down the quiet corridors passing a few soldiers here and there. As they approached the entrance of Sir Won's sleeping quarter, the French man turned around to bid the noble a good night. However, Sir Won raised a hand to stop Humanity's Strongest from speaking.

"Listen, Captain," spoke Sir Won with a somber tone, "Although I have promised to support your stallions, I have to say that I am greatly worried for your Commander's support."

Levi's eyebrows slowly crinkled though the rest of his face stayed empty of emotion.

"What do you mean?" questioned the taller man, sensing a sudden stiffness in his posture.

"Haven't you heard the rumors?" chuckled Sir Won.

Levi frowned at the man.

The noble dramatically sighed as he opened the door to his room.

"You witnessed the events of his interests today, didn't you?" whispered the noble in a hushed tone, "Surely you know what I mean by this. The Commander is completely head over heels for that young boy of yours. And that Jaeger boy, in turn as well. I, by no means, am trying to disrespect the Commander and his interest. However, as a good long time friend of the Commander, I have to say this to you. Please, keep out an eye for him and your subordinate. The Commander is a man of his words, and I worry what hurdles may come his way."

Levi was completely unsure of how to respond to this. Unfortunately, the Captain did not know if the man was lying through his teeth about being a long time friend of Erwin. This was because, although Levi had known Erwin for quite some time-- he never got involved in the intricate and numerous political ties of the Commander's work. The only names that he kept up with were those that had majorly gotten in their way during the war. However, since Levi hadn't heard of Sir Won-- it probably meant that Sir Won was not an enemy. But on the other hand, how was it that Sir Won had been a 'good long time friend' of Erwin? And yet, when it came down to funding, Sir Won had only started thinking about funding for the Scouts only recently.

Unless, Sir Won was an underground funding pool that Erwin had just simply kept secret until now?

So was this Sir Won's way of publicly announcing to those in the inner walls that he was now a supporter of the scouts?

Levi didn't know.

And now the French man realized who it was that had been cursing from behind him when Hange had appeared to dissolve the scuffle that Armin, Erwin, and Mikasa had wound up in. Luckily, Sir Won seemed to be taking in witnessing the scene alright at face value.

"I can't control another person," responded Levi with a grimace, "And I definitely can't control someone of higher rank than me."

Levi contemplated correcting the noble over his statement of Eren and Erwin being a couple. However, from the evidence and little that Sir Won had seen-- it was just too convincing of an argument to be torn down by the Captain. And the thing was, Levi also didn't want to get involved in an argument with the person that had just agreed to fund the Legion Scout's in their horse and care budget. So instead, the Captain stayed quiet and let Sir Won say whatever he wanted.

"Oh, I know!" insisted Sir Won with a strong shake of his head, "But the thing is, I'm sure you wouldn't want for tragedy to strike the two now, would you? Think about it? Star crossed lovers-- the Commander and Humanity's Hope. Their romance, torn by the very friends that they trusted. I wouldn't want that! Men and men or not, surely you must support the two in some way? Because from what I witnessed, that Mikasa Ackerman girl seemed to be quite keen on breaking them up. Protect them, that's all I ask for!"

Levi squinted at the shorter man. He was not too keen on randomly agreeing to promises that had no true base in their soup. But Levi was tired from today's whirlwind of emotions and drama. And so, Humanity's Strongest gave a grunt in response to the noble before leaving the man alone. When the French man had finally returned to his own quarters, he opted to ignore the stacking pile of papers on his desk. He was much too behind in work, and already knew that tomorrow he had to get those damn assignments done. But tonight, the Captain was going to take his fill of rest.

Before he had made it to Sir Won, who had actually been preoccupied by Erwin-- lord knows what they were talking about-- Levi had made sure to quickly wash his face of the smudges of blood on his brow from his injured hand. Strangely enough, when water had came in contact with Eren's golden spittle on the French man's knuckles, the material had completely dissolved and flowed into the drain. Amazed, Levi had noticed that his hand had completely healed. It had made the Captain recall of Hange's little spiel about Eren's powers after he had awoken during the expedition.

> _"From the way you're wounds healed, I'd say that what Eren did was most definitely effective enough to save you albeit drain him of his strength a good amount."_

Levi laid in his bed, pondering about the implications of what Eren had just told him before Hange had turned up in the cell...

* * *

"Are you good?"

Eren looked up as he put on his uniform jacket.

"Yep. Good as I'll ever be. Thanks for doing this for me," responded the brunet with a silly grin, "Didn't think I'd ever be able to step out again with the way Captain Levi's been on me lately. And with everyone afraid of my homo-erotic tendencies, you were my last resort."

The guard with no name chuckled, "Don't be like that. Just ignore the youngsters. They'll get over it soon enough."

"I hope so," responded Eren as they both began to leave the cell and travel up the stairs.

Levi had instructed for all guards to watch his tail like a hawk after the shower incident. And then, Hange, from last night, had instructed the new guards at his door to make sure he was chaperoned should he go anywhere out of his cell. So now, Eren felt like a big baby...

As they made it out into the hallway, bright streaks of morning sunlight broke through the glass panes. Giving the two new guards at the entrance and exit of the door a small nod of acknowledgement, Eren and the nameless guard paced through the quiet halls. Most of the soldiers were still just barely waking up. However, breakfast was already starting with cooking staff running back and forth in the kitchen. The two turned the corner and began to proceed to the higher up's line of offices. As the duo came to approach the small staircase that led to Erwin's room, the guard behind Eren paused.

"I'll wait here," he quietly stated.

Eren turned around to glance at him with a smile, "Thank you, but don't wait for me. It might be a while before we're finished talking. I'm sure Hange or someone will show up to take me elsewhere at some point, so you're free."

The soldier inhaled deeply before giving Eren a solid nod. The brunet turned away from the nameless guard and began the trek up the stairs. Every step brought him back into memories that reminded him of how he got into this whole mess. Again, he reached the top of the corridor like that night of the legion scout celebrations. Eren approached Erwin's office and knocked on the door firmly.

"Come in."

Eren entered quietly, closing the door behind himself before turning to face Erwin's desk. He wasn't there.

"I thought it might be you," spoke the blond Commander in a scratchy baritone.

Eren turned to the side to see Erwin, having just gotten out of bed and sitting on the edge of the mattress. Erwin's posture was slumped, his eyes dull and worn out.

"I didn't want to wait...," responded Eren solemnly, "I'm sorry to approach you like this, sir."

Erwin looked up at Eren with half open eyes as he rubbed his face slowly, considering the situation.

"Don't be...," sighed Erwin, "We all just have to adapt as best as we can. Everything you have done. It's all understandable."

"And you," responded Eren with a sad smile as he approached the older man.

Erwin laughed dryly, the echo of his voice hollow. The brunet felt something inside himself chipping, but he did his best to hold himself together.

"Sir...," spoke Eren in a hush tone as he reached out to the older man.

Erwin stared down at the floor unresponsive to where Eren's fingers wrapped around his own. It was as if just that small touch seemed to bring Erwin out of his lifeless stupor, but the blond just simply refused to acknowledge it.

"It wasn't a lie?" questioned the blond man hesitantly.

Although Erwin's posture did not change, the ex-shifter could tell just how hopeful Erwin felt from the way his hand squeezed Eren's own. The brunet had a feeling that the Commander would doubt him too. Like Levi.

"No," whispered Eren gently as he kneeled down.

"I thought..."

"It was a fluke?" questioned the brunet as he brought Erwin's hand away from the blond's lap and closer to himself, "Well, it's not, sir."

Erwin's lids opened as his eyes lighted up into bright hues of saturated blue. The Commander reached forward to take hold of the younger man in a full blown embrace, burying his face into Eren's nape with a trembling inhale. Even though Erwin's blond hair was still a mess from bed and his pajamas in disarray from the night's hopeless insomnia, Eren wrapped his arms around the blond gently. The two stayed there like that, surrounded by the sound of each other's inhales and exhales. When Erwin finally pulled away from Eren, the Commander took hold of Eren's face in his hands tenderly. However, Erwin's eyes reflected nothing but pain and regret.

Because now, Erwin realized where he had gone wrong... Even way before he had met Eren. Before he even met Marie...

He let himself fall into a swirling vortex of shadows and became swallowed by Humanity.

> _He lost himself in the game of winning through the pain of loss._

He let himself discard his everything...

> _He drowned in the papers of tomorrow that painted an endless path which seemed to guide him towards a known destination..._

He let Humanity become his life. 

> _Only to become lost on the roadside._

Even when his own unconscious thoughts held onto precious gems of the world that made him more than a mere puppet, he had instinctively ignored it.

Until when finally, Humanity conquered and the walls began to tumble...

The shards of himself, pieces of his carefree joy and selfish desires that had been present in his childhood, had been hushed into a corner of his mind. They had been told time and time again that they needed to go into a slumber, a sleep that would leave the blond man free to roam as Humanity's puppet as effectively as possible. But because his resolve for Humanity had begun to accomplish itself and thus diminish, those broken shards had begun to reawaken. They had begun to resurface, painting his unconscious thoughts with emotions that were so foreign and isolated-- even Erwin himself couldn't recognize them until it had been too late.

And now Erwin wish he would go back.

He wished that he could go back and reconquer himself. He wished that he could rearrange the past in his mind, the thoughts that led him to become so hopelessly numb that even with his intelligence he could not recognize his own feelings and emotions. But it was too late, too late to try and retract what had been done.

And it hurt.

It hurt so deeply...

A searing pain that stung for days on end even after the cut had been made.

"Sir...," whimpered Eren, bringing Erwin out of his thoughts.

Tears were pooling in Eren's eyes, making those beautiful jewels transform into puddles of an even deeper shade of blue and green. The vision of the window's light from behind Erwin reflected off the growing lump of tears laying atop the ex-shifter's trembling bottom lid. Golden specks of amber showing off Eren's eyes and seemed to blur to the Commander.

"I'm sorry," gasped Eren as the tears spilled forth and down the brunet's cheeks in a gush.

Erwin was at first confused by why Eren looked so hurt. But upon feeling the brunet's fingers touch his wet cheek, the blond realized that he had been the one to introduce tears into their conversation. A cracking sob suddenly escaped from the back of Erwin's throat.

Eren bit on his bottom lip.

The German male didn't want to do this.

He didn't want to say it.

He didn't want to hurt Erwin... Bruise the man, or scar his heart. Because throughout the decade that Eren had spent with Erwin, Eren had never once heard of the blond man having any interest in romantic affairs. So to suddenly be put into the spotlight of such affection was very foreign to the ex-shifter. But none the less, Eren knew that if he withheld his answer it would only cause more turmoil. The brunet, upon answering Levi's inquiry from last night, had realized the stupidity of all he had done. Secrecy. Deception. Lies. This wasn't a battle strategy that they were working on in the making. No. These were feelings, tender and fragile emotions that could at any point break even if handled with the utmost care. But at the time of all that had happened already between the Commander and his subordinate, Eren hadn't seen that. No. He COULDN'T see that.

Why was that?

Why was it that Eren had been so blind?

Why had Eren been so buried in this concept of debt?

Why had he allow himself to believe that everything was stocks and trade?

Eren didn't know.

He didn't know.

Could it be that he had allowed the concept of Humanity to swallow him whole? Could it be that he had truly lost his own Humanity in trying to save others?

Perhaps.

But perhaps, for the sake of saving the human race-- he hadn't necessarily forfeit his heart in whole. Perhaps, Eren had forfeit the part of himself that was meant to conserve his own mental well-being... Perhaps the German had, out of all the endless fragments of his "heart" that had been held within his hands, unconsciously offered up the one piece that would have made Eren not blind to his own decisions.

Endless scratchy repeats of 'sorries' were whispered from Eren's lips as he closed his eyes and allowed for his sobs to be heard through the tears that trickled down.

"I-I...," hiccuped Eren as he tried to hold back the sobs, "I do love you."

The brunet tried to breathe in between his sobs.

"I love you, very much."

The German male had to say this. He had to set this straight.

"But not... Not like how you probably love me," wept the younger man, shaking in the older man's arms.

Eren wept even harder upon hearing the words he uttered from his own lips. The German male knew he would never be able to give the blond man what he truly wanted. And it felt like a stab to the ex-shifter's heart.

The ex-shifter had been trying to appease everyone... Protect everyone. But in the end of it all, it was Eren-- himself, that hurt all of his long time comrades the most. How could Eren become so selfless that in the end...

He had become selfish?

Erwin smiled brokenly as another bitter tear of regret trickled down his face.

"I know...," he responded in a hush tone.

The blond man gritted his teeth as he pulled Eren into his arms again.

Who's heart was truly breaking?

If not one of them, then surely both.

"Oh god...," groaned Erwin upon letting Eren's words sink in, "I know. I know."

Erwin's voice cracked as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to stop more tears from falling forth.

"Don't say that. Don't say that you're sorry. Don't be sorry," repeated the blond Commander.

The whole night, the thought of Eren's feelings were what Erwin had been pondering about. That was what his brain, turning and tossing, had been unable to ignore. Everything that Erwin felt, it must have seemed so sudden to Eren. So raw but sprung out of the blue. But now that Erwin realized the major flaw within himself pertaining to his past dedication to Humanity, it was apparent that his feelings for Eren weren't new. They had been present within his heart from day one of their meeting. They had gnawed and chewed on anything pertaining to Eren that they could feed on. They had grown enormously like a vine weed breaking through the cracks and surfaces of his heart. But it had never been expressed nor acknowledged by the Commander himself and those around him. Erwin's feelings were real, raw and pungent in their presence... Sadly, they were only in such a state within Erwin's unconsciousness and that made the Commander creditless in his confession... So unconvincing and scattered... Young and unstable.

If only Erwin had acknowledged his feelings sooner. If only he had aimed to be with Eren more often, built their relationship on physical trust and emotional affection. Strengthened the strings that held them together through braided threads made from his own hands... Then maybe. Just maybe, the two being a romantic couple could have been. Just maybe their love could have sprung forth. Maybe...

Just maybe.

But maybe's in this world meant nothing.

And so that was what Erwin would get.

Nothing.

This, in itself, was Erwin's repent.

Losing the one chance that he would never get.

And Eren knew that by answering the older man's feelings, this was perhaps an unintentional punishment that Erwin would serve for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 26 Preview:
> 
> "I. WILL. NOT," snarled Levi, punctuating each word with bone grinding intensity, "FORGIVE!"
> 
> Eren could only look on at Humanity's Strongest with a broken smile.


	26. The Fourth Mistake: Too Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So why did I even write this fic to begin with? How did I suddenly get the idea for it? Well, everything that you guys have read up till now... It was never in the original scenario. ;v; Yes. It didn't exist. XDDD"
> 
> Originally this story was supposed to be ten chapters. Short and sweet. To the point. YES. I KNOW. I'm those people that DO NOT PLAN and then suddenly find themselves stuck in that scenario of-- "Wait. I have to write fifty thousand words in order for this specific scene to make sense in my brain." Yeah. You know what I'm saying? @A@"
> 
> So that's what happened. *single tear runs down cheek dramatically*
> 
> But I SERIOUSLY hope that my one hundred thousand words of content did not deter you too much to get to where we are right now. D:
> 
> Now... From here on out, I promise to love Levi and spoil him dearly.
> 
> OwO
> 
> Trust me.
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

The clock is ticking.

Ticking.

Ticking...

Ticking off the Captain with every single movement it makes to the next second. Levi flipped through the thick stack of papers in his hand, a document inquiring on the oiling of their past gears. Levi wondered if perhaps the Court was out to merely make him suffer even more now that there were no titans possibly feasting in their backyards. The elusive grammar and teeth-grinding vocabulary of the paper made Levi mentally groan as he placed the pile down onto his desk with a loud smack. Leaning over onto an arm, Humanity's Strongest glanced to the side in order to see three more stacks of unread reports and requests from the Capital. Levi knew that he had finished every little scrap of paper before the group had left for the expedition. However, during the week that they had been gone, the Capital had felt no remorse or urge to sprinkle at least a little bit of mercy on the French man.

_What a pain..._

But of course, it was Levi's duty after all... As Hange had stated when she had grind down on him in learning how to read (upon Levi entering the scouts long ago...)

Every letter is a possible opportunity to bring even more funding to the Legion Scouts.

Of course in the Captain's head, all he could think about was grinding that stupid eccentric into a pile of dry sand. The amount of effort put into the paperwork in order to merely communicate gave rise to maybe only five to ten percent responses of interest.

A light knock came from his door suddenly.

"What do you want?" gritted out Levi as he rolled up one of his finished reports in his hand.

A questioning voice echoed from the other side, "Should I come another time?"

Levi froze in his desk.

_It's Eren..._

Contemplating over everything that had happened between them, Levi wasn't sure if he wanted to see Eren so soon... The Captain was still attempting to mentally recover from all that he had experienced the day before. However, Levi also felt that if he postponed their meeting by dismissing the younger man, Eren might deem that as a rejection to opening the topic of whatever it was they had between them up again...

"No. Hold on," commanded the Captain as he left his desk and approached the door to his office.

Unlocking the latch, Levi did not look at his subordinate and instead turned away. Merely gesturing with a wave over the shoulder to come in, Levi approached his desk again. But instead of settling back into his paperwork, the older man paused at the side of the wooden furniture. The sound of the entrance to his room being closed and lock re latched again made Levi turn around to face his subordinate. The brunet's eyes did not meet the Captain's own as he slowly walked over to the older man's desk.

"You need help?" Eren asked offhandedly.

Levi tilted his head to the side, assessing the physical profile of the brunet.

After a drawn out pause, Levi simply answered, "Why not?"

The two eventually moved the pile of papers towards the center of the room where a small coffee table stood surrounded by four stubby wooden stools. Working through each packet with disinterest, Levi glimpsed up from the papers in his hands from time to time. The brunet seemed calm, intent on reading the reports in his hands and writing out the answer necessary to complete them. Even as the hours flew by though, only a good quarter of the reports were even qualified to being stamped and sealed as finished. Levi got up from where they were seated and began making some tea to sooth their throbbing brains and aching wrist. Taking a break, Levi leaned back and sipped on his drink with ease as Eren continued to work on the paper in his hand.

"This...," Humanity's Strongest suddenly began, breaking the calm silence.

Eren did not stop scribbling on his piece of parchment though.

Levi's eyes settled on Eren as he continued, "This isn't what you came to meet me for, is it?"

The brunet paused abruptly, but did not look up.

"Will you..." began the brunet softly.

Eren's green orbs continued to linger on the papers on the table as he eased his hand away from his pen. The brunet exhaled softly as he sat up, fixing his posture slowly. After a few minutes of contemplating, Eren finally looked up to meet the Captain's gaze.

"Will you forgive me?" asked Eren, almost in a feeble whisper.

Levi brought up a hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes in irritation.

"Eren," addressed the French man sternly as he set down the drink in his other hand.

The subordinate jumped slightly.

"Why did you do it?"

The German male took in a breath and responded, "B-because... Because there was no other way."

"No other way...?" Levi pushed on calmly.

Eren scowled at the ground as a pout began to form on his face.

"There was no other way to save you! There was the blizzard and we were stuck-- and then you wouldn't wake up. And-- shit. Your clothes were frozen, then bleeding. Yeah. Bleeding. You bled cause your skin, and then---"

A hand came to firmly cover Eren's sputtering lips suddenly. The brunet blinked in surprise as he saw his Captain lean from across the table with an expressionless face. The German male could feel the curve of each of Levi's fingers, the concavity of his palms against his face. The tough and scorched skin that had time after time held onto silver blades of survival and glory. Strangely, Eren couldn't remember ever realizing how worn out the French man's hands were--- even when they had been attempting to survive that cold blizzarding night. Perhaps, Eren had been too flustered at the possibility of the Captain dying to pay attention.

"Then why is there a need to forgive, hm?" asked Humanity's Strongest with soft eyes as his hand slipped away from the younger man.

But sadly, no relief came from the older man's answer.

"But I...," stammered Eren in disbelief at how easily the older man had dismissed his punishment, "But what I did..."

"What you did was save me. Should I forgive you for saving me then?" huffed the older man with a scrunch of brows, "Or do you feel guilty because you had intended to save me-- but you took advantage of me while doing so?"

Eren stood up, knocking over the stool beneath him in utter shock and disgust, "No! I would never, sir!"

"There's your answer then," finished the older man simply as he gathered the papers on his side of the table into a neat pile.

The Captain stood up in order to put the papers away. The brunet sat there silently, not making a move to get up nor to progress on Levi's paperwork. With a tired expressioni, the German slumped in his seat.

"I'm sorry," murmured Eren under his breath.

Levi turned around with an arching brow as he placed the papers in his hands down onto his desk.

"What for?" questioned the French soldier.

Eren responded sluggishly as if not registering what he had just said, "Well..."

"Well?" pushed Levi impatiently.

"I...," the German male chewed on his upper lip nervously, "I suddenly thought... I wish you'd forgive them just as easily."

Levi's profile stiffened immediately upon hearing Eren's words.

"You...," whispered Levi in horror as his eyes settled back on the younger man.

Eren felt the hair on his back suddenly stand.

The older man approached the standing soldier with a swiftly darkening gaze, "You-- What have you done?"

The brunet took a cautious step back.

"I...," began the ex-shifter hesitantly.

"You forgave them?" murmured the Captain in utter shock, "You..."

The raven head paused as a scoffing chuckle escaped his lips.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" spat the Captain as he waved a firm hand gesturing towards Eren's body, "Are you fucking kidding me? Is this a joke to you? Is it?!"

Eren stood took a step forward, "Of course not sir! But... But this was a decision that I made on my own. And... And I have my reasons, sir."

"No," retorted the Captain with a disgusted expression, "You don't understand a flying fuck about this if it was as simple as tha--"

"It wasn't!" yelled out the brunet as his green eyes narrowed on Levi's face, "I thought about it... FOR A LONG TIME, sir. Even before it happened."

"What?" scowled Humanity's Strongest as he gritted his teeth, "What the fuck do you mean you thought about it, even before it happened? How does that even making any damn sense?"

Eren took in a trembling breath as he turned away and answered, "I already made the decision to forgive and support this person even before any of this happened. I don't hate them because of what they did--"

"Because they're someone you know, aren't they?" gritted out Levi as he paced forward to take hold of Eren and spin the ex-shifter around to face him, "It's because it's someone in OUR squad, isn't it?"

Eren could only continue to stare on at the older man's face, morphed into the very emotions that seemed to suddenly be so foreign.

"It's because it's someone who's RIGHT HERE in this building, isn't it?!" shouted the Captain as his voice echoed in the room.

Eren swallowed with a sorrow stricken face, his profile shaken by the intensity of Levi's accusations. A pause seemed to cut into the two's straining bodies as the words that the Captain just said began to sink in.

"You know?" gasped Eren, unsure.

Levi huffed angrily but surprisingly muttered out a growling, "No."

The brunet looked down at his feet.

"They'll tell you when they're ready," said the ex-shifter with a sad smile.

Levi slowly distanced himself from Eren with a hiss, "When they're ready? I don't FUCKING care if they're READY. Were you fucking ready when they--"

Humanity's Strongest bit his tongue before anymore words could escape.

He knew that his words would only hurt Eren even more...

"I can't believe this...," hissed the older man as his eyes settled on Eren's profile, "I can't believe this shit..."

The brunet swallowed fearfully.

"I can't believe you," snapped the older man as he approached his desk and sat down.

"Sir," began the brunet again, "It's as you said, we're different. But..."

Eren took a shaking inhale as he continued, "But I just--"

"I. WILL. NOT," snarled Levi, punctuating each word with bone grinding intensity, "FORGIVE!"

Eren could only look on at Humanity's Strongest with a broken smile.

The brunet felt his heart shaking...

His breathing coming out uneven.

A resolve in the German male unknown to Humanity's Strongest shattered...

"Right...," murmured the brunet weakly as he looked away as if in defeat.

"Right," repeated Eren again as his form began to shrink away, "I'm sorry..."

The brunet inhaled, "I'm sorry, sir."

Levi did not look up at the brunet as Eren began to dismiss himself from the room by walking towards the door reluctantly. Levi buried his face into the palm of his hands as Eren reached for the door handle.

How could this happen?

Levi felt his whole entire body shake in utter distraught.

How could this be?

Why was Eren always distancing himself, choosing a path diverging from Levi's own?

Why couldn't they ever agree on anything anymore?

The fifteen year old Eren that used to always follow his back like a damn dog...

It was true that Levi loved the quality of the brunet that made him so very independent, but it felt as if the brunet was disappearing from his side faster than he had ever realized.

If Eren had already forgiven the person that hurt him, where in the world where Levi thrust his feelings of hate and despair?

There was no place to satisfyingly release the bitter and swelling emotions of utter loathing in Levi anymore... Not with the brunet letting all of this go.

"Why...," began Humanity's Strongest with a deep shaking voice making the brunet pause.

"How can you do that so easily...?" muttered the older man bitterly, "How can you let this go... So. Damn. Easily?"

A quiet calmness filled the room as Humanity's Strongest waited for an answer.

"If I did that to you. If I didn't mean to heal you at all... If I had taken advantage of you," responded Eren brokenly, "Would you..."

Eren turned only his head to gesture at the anger emanating from the older man.

"Would you have felt this way towards me as well?"

Levi could not answer.

Not because he didn't have an answer.

No.

But because the sound of the door opening dismissed their conversation. The French soldier forced himself to look up and caught sight of Armin standing outside the door expectantly as Eren stepped into the hallway.

"Is everything alright?" inquired Armin hesitantly as he quickly glanced between the two.

Levi could only see the ex-shifter's drooping shoulders now.

"Yeah."

But the older man was sure that Eren was giving the blond a reassuring smile. A smile that Levi could barely remember anymore... It felt like everything between Levi and Eren was crumbling. The conclusion to their conversation felt like something was crushing the Captain's chest, making his lungs seem as if they would collapse at any second.

He had to say something.

Levi had to do something.

Surely, their talk couldn't end so abruptly like this, could it?

"It's cold, isn't it?"

Armin glanced at the Captain nervously with a questioning brow, "Ah, what was that sir?"

"It's cold down there in the dungeon, isn't it Eren?"

Sadly, the brunet did not turn around to acknowledge the older man.

Levi's eyes bore into the younger man's back intently, "Blankets."

Armin glanced at his friend, unsure of what to do.

"I'll bring them tonight before you go to bed," finished Levi.

"Yes, sir," Eren responded in a tone much too quiet.

And then the two were gone, leaving the bitter man to muse over his misgivings...

* * *

"Le....vi...l....evi...Lev...i..."

The Captain groaned as he felt something poke at his cheek.

Another poke.

Another.

And another...

"LEVI!"

The raven head flung a hand out striking spontaneously as he opened his heavy lids reluctantly.

Hange cried out dramatically as she raised a hand to her rub at the spot that Levi had hit.

"Dear Maria! When were you going to wake up, clean freak!" whined the eccentric.

"Feel like shit..." groaned the older man as he rubbed at his head feeling a swelling headache begin to bloom at his temple.

"I was going to go check on Erwin, but then I saw that your light was still on," explained the eccentric with a sigh as she leaned back with arms crossed, "Did you get everything done?"

Levi hissed as he pulled his hand away from his face and the light met his dull and tired eyes, "As much as I could, four eyes. There's still so much to do though... Shit."

Hange laughed, "It's alright. Thing always get worser before they get better, right?"

The Captain cursed as he realized that he had fallen asleep on an unfinished report and smeared the undry ink while asleep.

"So...," drawled Hange as she glanced at the tired raven head, "I saw Eren before he went to his dungeon... He seemed... Off."

Levi stiffened at the mention of Eren.

"Ah, fuck...," murmured Levi as he got up from his desk and began to approach a small closet at the corner of the room, "What time is it?"

Hange's eyes widened curiously, "Three in the morning, why?"

"And you're here? Fuck... You're the worst..." mumbled Levi drowsily.

The Captain clicked his tongue as he opened the the doors and pulled out a heavy cotton blanket, "Instead of lecturing me about taking care of my men, here you go."

Before the female scientist could protest, the puffy blanket was thrown into her arms.

"H-hey! Hold up, Levi!" cried out the eccentric.

But Levi only ushered her towards the exit of his room hurriedly. Strangely enough, Hange had left the door open upon entering it seemed.

The Captain grunted, "Don't think I didn't know what you were up to, four eyes. Make yourself useful and bring these down to Eren."

"Come on, Levi!" yelped Hange as she was shoved out of the French soldier's room and into the hallway reluctantly, "I've only just gotten here and you're already kicking me out?!"

"Ugh, shut it," hissed the raven head as he began to close the door.

With only a head sticking out he spat, "Why are you so annoying?"

"I'm not annoying!" argued the eccentric as she rolled her eyes melodramatically.

Spinning around with a unnecessarily hurt huff, Hange declared out loudly, "Fine! See if I care to check up on you again!"

"Do whatever," muttered Levi as he was just about to close the door.

However, the sharp and far off sound of metal scraping stone suddenly began to echo from down the hall, catching the French man's attention. Though turned away, Hange seemed to have froze where she was standing.

"Four eyes?" questioned Levi quietly.

However, Hange did not look at him and instead kept her eyes focused at the end of the hall.

"Mi...," began the eccentric seemingly aghast, "...kasa?"

That's when Levi noticed the silhouette of the female soldier in the far off distance.

Hange suddenly stepped back with face becoming very stern.

Mikasa stood at the end of the hall with her head hanging low, allowing the silky strands that littered her brow to silhouette her hollow eyes. With the faint glow of the candles that occupied the turning corners of the pathway outlining her figure from afar, the Captain and eccentric froze.

Her steps were deliberately paced—sluggish so that each and every click of her heel echoed throughout the hall way. There wasn’t a single word uttered from her lips, as the raven head’s pale complexion contrasted with the red stains seeping down her sleeves complimenting her scarf.

“Captain Levi…”

Her voice was airy, almost like a whisper in the wind as she continued to close the distance that stretched between them.

“Finally, mine," she stated.

The Captain's ears perked at the statement. However, his gaze remained un-phased— expressionless.

At first it was a soft whistle transforming slowly with each shake of her shoulder into a cackle—no.

Perhaps it was better suited to say it was a half attempt at a giggle that had been drawn out too long.

Mikasa's laugh stretched as she tilted her head to the side pulling the blade occupying her hand up to the level of her jaw.

“Eren… Is… All mine now,” Mikasa breathed, a ghostly smirk gliding under her cheekbone.

The Captain's hand instinctively flew to his side—his personal dagger at hand. Mikasa was close now, a mere two or three yards away from where the French soldier and female scientist stood.

Something...

Something wasn't right.

“Mikasa Ackerman, step down,” stated the Captain sternly, his chest leaning forward and prepared to react at any moment.

The female warrior came to an abrupt stop. Her smile fell but her blade stayed positioned near her head as she seemed to playfully survey the dark red crusting its edges. As she turned the long sheet of metal in order to see how well the blood had dried, she let her gaze drift away from the shorter man in front of her.

“Captain…. You know I love Eren… right?” whispered Mikasa affectionately.

The head soldier did not answer but continued to glare at the first class soldier in front of him, his body stiff and ready to mobilize.

“But it’s too bad. His heart was elsewhere… As it always had been,” sighed the female soldier longingly as she looked passed the Captain into the dark hallways dimly lit by waxed candles.

Levi listened intently catching onto the way she used the pass tense to refer to her savior Eren that had brought her into his family.

“I’m sure he’s happier now,” spoke Mikasa as her gaze shifted back to the French soldier.

The female warrior’s eyes hardened as she gave out a soft giggle waving her blade around like a toy. The way the raven head said that last sentence snapped at a nerve in the French soldier. The Captain waited no more as he lunged forward swift and low, attempting to strike Mikasa with the edge of his blade. However, he missed as Mikasa swung away from him to the side, stepping back with ease.

“What’s wrong, Captain?” laughed the girl as she steadied herself with the back of her heels, “Cat got your tongue?”

Levi gave a soft huff in frustration, “What’s happened to the brat?”

The raven head’s face suddenly became stale, her eyes glazed for a second as she shuffled to the side. The green cape that fell over her shoulders was cast to the ground with quick precision. As the tapestry fell to the floor, pooling at her feet, Mikasa dragged something out from behind her waist. From the faint glow of the candles, the girl unraveled a long object that had been wrapped in thick layers of dirty linen.

“What are you—,” but the French soldier’s words were lost as his eyes came to realize what it was that laid limp, positioned horizontally in Mikasa's palms.

It was pale and loose as the dirt stained cloth fell off and flew to the stone ground. The surface of the object was bruised and battered with scabs forming where cuts had been made. With the flesh having turned pale, a tint of purple followed the veins that blood once ran through as Mikasa pulled the end of the mutilated arm up to her face. She kissed each bloody fingertip softly as if the person was still alive and would at any moment reject her unyielding affection.

The Captain’s brows twitched slightly—disgust at the fact that the girl had the audacity to treat such a thing so lovingly. And yet part of the man’s heart throbbed slightly at the possible indication Mikasa was making.

“Where is the brat?” the Captain's voice raised with impatience.

Mikasa slowly looked up from the limb she was holding staring straight into the chips of ice of the Captain's. Delicately, the girl pushed each of the cold stiff fingers of the limb down as if counting like a child until just the index finger and thumb stood up. Turning the severed arm slowly in her grasp, the raven head opened her mouth as she positioned the cut off arm just blow her chin.

With the crimson stained fingers of the limb pointing straight at her lips, the girl opened her mouth wide so that the Captain could see every single one of her damn straight teeth glistening with saliva in the dim light.

“Right here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 27 Preview:
> 
> "We're going to see the ocean," whispered Eren.
> 
> "Of course," responded Levi as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.


	27. The Fourth Mistake: Where His Heart Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It's been a long time since I've written a chapter in a whole sitting, but it happened while I was babysitting. 8D
> 
> So this chapter is actually shorter than my usual chapters, but there's a lot that needs to happen in the next few so I thought breaking it off here would be good.
> 
> If you have any questions, just drop a comment below. I will do my best to answer! *A*9
> 
> ~Sum-Won~

"Wait."

The raven head paused momentarily at the voice.

"I might be able to answer some of your questions."

Mikasa slowly turned around to see a certain short blond women at the other end of the hall, staring speculatively at Ymir and her.

"Really now?" challenged Mikasa with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

Annie met the sharp gaze with her own readied stance, "You want to know what's been going on don't you?"

Before Mikasa could even respond the blonde had swiftly dashed forward and attempted to kick the raven head from the side. Mikasa instantly blocked the hit in a practiced manner. However, she wasn't fast enough to bounce back with her momentum and Annie crashed into her. The two fell to the ground in a pounding scuffle.

Annie hissed just loud enough into Mikasa's ear, "We're being watched."

The raven head's face froze in confusion for a few moments as Annie shoved the female warrior to the side rolling them back and forth on the ground.

"Everyone save Commander," the blonde continued to softly grunt out, "He's on our side."

Mikasa played along, swinging a false punch at the blonde. Annie was glad that the female warrior had caught on and took the hit before returning it with her own. Just as Ymir was able to take hold of Mikasa in order to pull them apart, the raven head caught on to one last sentence from Annie.

"They're going to kill us."

* * *

Mikasa now stood between him and Hange.

And to Levi's horror-- with his perspective, he could now spot three trainees behind the female scientist frozen in utter shock at the scene before them. Though tense and ready to defend at any moment, he knew that, with Mikasa in such a utter state of insanity, the youngsters had to leave. Just as Levi parted his lips to inform Hange about the fools behind her, two blurring forms bolted passed from over his shoulders and quickly approached the dangerous woman between them. Attempting to stop the duo, who were probably moronic trainees that thought their stunt would seem heroic, Levi called out to them. But it was too late and suddenly Mikasa was taking on two soldiers at once in a sword fight.

Hange cried out from the other side over the sound of clanging metal in combat, "Levi! Go check on Erwin! Eren's probably--"  
But no.

Levi did not wait to hear the rest of the female scientist's instructions. Suddenly the safety of the two fools that were probably about to die seemed very insignficant to him, the trio of trainees behind Hange as well-- because the vision of a certain brunet was quickly filling his vision now.

His body, as if on instinct, spun around and away from the scene before him. The sound of silver metal and copper clanking behind him in conflict and combat cut through the air as the French soldier bolted down the dim hallway anxiously. The Captain's face was expressionless, pallid, as his feet collided against the cold stone flooring in quick succession and his black hair slapped against his cheeks.

> _"Eren is my world."_

Levi was not stupid. The Captain knew that there was no way in fucking hell that Mikasa could have possibly devoured Eren's whole body over the course of a night-- unless the female warrior had somehow found a way to turn into a titan from an alternate universe.  
But the French man knew. He understood her implication.

Mikasa...

She had stolen Eren's future.

His future of possible emotional and physical affections that could have been shared with whomever he would entrust it to.

Mikasa had swallowed Eren's existence.

Eren's love.

Whole.

All for herself.

And insinuations, that were being drawn from such a traumatic display from Mikasa, was gnawing at his brain, chilling his blood passed the veins right into the very marrow of his bones.

The throbbing at his temple brought him out from his thoughts of his insane female subordinate and reminded him that soon the hallway would end, and he would have to cut the corner. The Captain attempted to slow down his speed to make a turn, but the bottom of his boots met something slick. He suddenly found his solid form descending to the ground, skidding across the floor to collide with the hard barrier forming the corner. Cursing under his breath, Humanity's Strongest quickly clung to the grooves of the strangely wet corridor wall in order to pull himself up. Swiftly, the Captain swiped his bangs way from his eyes in order to clear his vision as he heaved himself up.

The main hall was interconnected the entrance of the building, cafeteria, and all other quarters. It was the only corridor that had full lighted lamps clutching the walls every three meters at night. However, tonight, instead of catching sight of the everyday gray and dull panels, all the French man could see was scarlet brushed against the stones. Levi did not have to glimpse down at his profile.

He recognized the sensation of blood sticking to his skin all too well.

Some of the red fluid had dried and became thin layers of brown that crusted the surface of the stones, trailing from where the French man stood all the way to the end of the hall where Eren's dungeon lay. The only room that had no door and was open to access and noise was the cafeteria, and Levi could hear the soft sobbing and curses reverberating from within. Although Humanity's Strongest could not immediately recognize who the faint voices and murmurs belonged to, his feet, which had hurriedly pulled him forward, allowed him a glance into the room. Levi could only hiss as he hurriedly passed, because he knew that the few bodies that were scattered in there were bound to only meet death--

Even with a crying Christa, anxious Connie, and Sasha tending to them like their life depended on it.

With gritting teeth, the head soldier reached the entrance to Eren's room. Of course, the two guards that usually stood at the door were absent. However, Levi had no time to even ponder where they had gone as he yanked the heavy metal door open. Strangely enough, the stairs that descended to the brunet's cell were completely shrouded in darkness. Cursing, Levi quickly glanced around the hallway to catch sight of the lamp closest to him hanging on the wall. Snatching it off the metal hanger, the French man entered the small corridor and began to take to the stairs. Of course, as he took his first step he realized that dark brown blood had already dried over the steps making his heart accelerate in fear of what the sight might imply.

Taking three steps at a time, Levi attempted to call out for Eren as he reached the bottom. But pacing forward, the head soldier lost footing. Clinging to the rusty bars of Eren's cell door with one hand, Levi grunted in frustration as he flashed the lamp down at the ground in order to see what he had stepped on. The light dimly reflected off the bruised and battered bodies of two individuals with the common guard duty badges pinned to their uniform jackets.

They're throats were slit, yet Levi could only click his tongue in pity.

As he realized that the door to Eren's cell was wide open, the French man quickly proceeded forward. Expectedly, patches of blood decorated the enclosure. The head soldier was just about to settle his squinting eyes at the corner of a blood soaked bed but the sound of a rasping voice to the left distracted him.

"S...sir?"

Levi took a step back in order to swiftly shift his light to address whoever had taken him by surprise.

"Thank god, it's you," coughed Armin as he sat on the ground caked in blood with a dull bruise blooming on his cheek.  
Humanity's Strongest trudged forward to kneel on the ground in front of the bobbed blond and reached out to give the younger man a firm grip on his shoulder, "Are you alright, Arlert? What's the situation?"

Armin leaned away from the older man against the cold stone wall, seemingly trying to ease away an unknown pain and responded in frantic murmurs, "Don't worry a-about me, sir. Please. E-Eren... Please. Ch-check on him... Sir. I tried. Oh, god... I tried and tried but Mikasa... And then..."

The bobbed blond coughed some more. And so, Levi hushed him with a pat on the shoulder.

Quickly standing up, the older man approached the tattered bed with lamp held high in utter in order to inspect the scene before him.

Suddenly, the sound of every single breath that the French man inhaled seemed to echo too loudly in his ears. On the blood soaked mattress was Eren with uniform completely unrecognizable in crimson. Humanity's Strongest almost stumbled over in utter shock as he placed the lamp on the floor next to his foot. As expected, the arm that Mikasa had held was missing on Eren's body in addition to a leg, which the French man had no idea of its location. A throbbing vein on his neck did nothing but to remind Levi that his beating heart was drumming intensely as adrenaline shot through his body.

Eren wasn't going to make it.

Levi knew that.

It was obvious.

So obvious.

So why, as trembling eyes immediately caught sight of Eren's thin sheets that had been cast aside onto the floor, did Levi still pick it up?

Why did he still snatch the dirty cotton into his hands? Why did Levi frantically tear the fabric apart in an attempt to bandage the brunet's gaping wounds?

Why, oh, why?

The raven head had seen this before.

Experienced enough.

Known enough.

And yet...

> _"Don't get too attached to the brat."_

And yet?

> _"If things don't go well, you know what will happen."_

"Cap...tain...?"

Humanity's Strongest blinked as his clouding vision cleared upon hearing the voice of a certain German male.

Levi did his best to respond as calmly as possible, "I've got you, Eren. You're going to be fine."

That was a lie.

"C-Captain..." gasped Eren as he closed his eyes again with a scowl most likely from pain.

"Yes?" questioned Humanity's Strongest softly as a pale hand reached out to him.

"W-where....are...y...you?" murmured the brunet weakily.

Levi reached forward taking hold of Eren's cold and bloody fingers firmly with his own, "I'm right here."

The Captain leaned closer to the younger male and repeated, "Right here, Eren."

Eren did not open his eyes again, but he did keep speaking faintly, "You...er...so warm, sir... So warm."

Humanity's Strongest gave a nod, but recalled that the ex-shifter could not see.

"We...," began the German male weakly.

Eren feebly squeezed the older man's hand as he took in a shaking breath.

"We're going to see the ocean," whispered Eren.

"Of course," responded Levi as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The distant sound of numerous footsteps began to echo from above as the French soldier continued to listen intently to the brunet's every word.

"Come...," murmured the ex-shifter just barely audible, "You'll come, right?"

The older man stayed expressionless but his eyes shook with unsaid emotions.

Humanity's Strongest attempted to respond firmly, "Anything..."

But had to cleared his throat before finishing, "Anything for you."

The rare voice of a stern Hange began distantly shouting orders of light and caution. But those sounds were barely registering into the

French man's ear drums as chips of ice concentrated intensely on closed emeralds.

"Levi!" cried out the female scientist as she reached the bottom of the stairs, "Is Eren alright?"

But the older man did not respond as the sound of her footsteps drew closer.

No.

His eyes were intently concentrated on Eren's face.

Slowly....

Slowly...

So very slowly, Levi watched as the creases lining between the younger man's brows faded. Eren's face, crusted with sweat and blood, gradually eased, dulling the worried lines that had marked the German male. There was nothing the older man could do save watch.

No. Witness.

None the less, the Captain did not pull away as Eren's chest heaved up weakly in a short sputter. Although he knew that the moment that the German male exhaled, it would be the end...

The end to stupid lop-sided smiles. Mussy brown hair. Childish complaints.

Still, Humanity's Strongest did not blink. Levi stared on, trying to hold onto the moment as long as possible... Trying to prolong the inevitable as much as he could.

But even so...

> _Monsters were everywhere and they were living, breathing humans._

The Captain felt it: the last shuddering breath of his subordinate.

> _And they were tearing down innocent..._

A sensation that Levi knew so well and yet had grown so foreign to...

> _Beautiful..._

Eren's fingers should have loosened from the older man's grip, but the abundant amount of dried blood had crusted his fingers around the Captain's own.

> _Wonderful..._

Suddenly, Levi realized the room had grown silent.

> _Human beings._

"Eren?" murmured the Captain to everyone's surprise.

But of course, never would the brunet ever respond to the older man ever again. And the head soldier... He realized at that very moment that he would have to live with that. Levi would have to live with that...

Not for today.

Not for tomorrow.

No.

But for the rest of his life.

Chips of ice, grey and dead to the very core, could not look up to meet Hange's inquiring gaze...

The fading memory of Eren's burning eyes boring into Levi's own in a small tent flickered faintly.

> _"Is your heart not with the soldiers that have died?"_

Finally, Levi could answer that question.

"What's going on here?" boomed Erwin from the entrance of the cell until his eyes landed on the scene before him.

Many of the soldiers that were in the middle of carrying off the body of the two dead guards froze where they were, strangely afraid of the blond man. Erwin took in a deep breath as he stepped forward cautiously as if not believing his eyes.

"Everyone," spoke the Commander seemingly empty of any emotion save a hint of sorrow, "Save Squad Leader Hange and Levi..."

All soldiers awaited the man's order as if it were a death sentence.

"Get out," snarled Erwin as his voice rang.

Everyone quickly scurried up the stairs, forgetting the corpses that littered the ground. The blond Commander did not speak again until the sound of the dungeon entrance being shut echoed sharply down into Eren's cell.

"Levi, move," began Erwin as he stepped towards Eren's bed with eyes darkening.

Levi did not hesitate to depart from Eren's body though he kept his eyes trained on the floor.

"Where's Mikasa?" the French man suddenly asked, strangely quiet.

Hange quickly answered as she inspected Eren's cold and lifeless corpse, "Sir Won and his guards took care of her. A trial most likely will be in the coming."

Suddenly Humanity's Strongest swiftly made to exit Eren's cell. Just as Levi began his way up the stairs, he felt a firm hand grasp his shoulder in order to spin him around.

"Levi," warned Erwin in a firm baritone, "Mikasa will be taken care of."

Without warning, the shorter man gripped the front of Erwin's shirt and shoved him backwards with intense force.

"Did Eren...," asked Levi with sharp chips of eyes boring into open bright blues, "Did he ever tell you who hurt him?"

Confusion consumed Erwin's face as he tried to follow Levi's thoughts.

"Levi...," responded Erwin calmly, "What are you--"

"The night of the fucking celebrations," questioned the raven head with voice deadly stale as he pushed the blond Commander away from him.

Levi's voice began to gain momentum as he snarled, "Did he ever tell you who the FUCK it was?"

Erwin's composure fell short for a second, but the French man noticed none the less.

"Levi," cut in Erwin firmly, "If you wish to talk about this, now is not the time."

"Then when in the FUCK is it the time, eye brows?" argued Levi as his pale composure began to crack and his fists shook ready to strike something, "Because I am SO FUCKING tired of waiting for everyone's damn ANSWER that I'm about to make my FUCKING OWN."

"Levi..." Hange sighed from afar as she covered up Eren's body with a clean white sheet from her medical case, "We can talk about this later. Right now, let's just concentrate on--"

"Shut it, four eyes," snapped Levi as he began to travel up the stairs again in retaliation.  
Erwin quickly followed him though.

"Levi!" echoed Hange's voice from below as she huffed dramatically.

But of course, the French soldier ignored them as he reached the top and settled a hand firmly on the door handle.

"Levi," spoke Erwin from behind, "Listen to me--"

"I don't fucking care to listen anymore," hissed the French man as he spun around to address the blond bitterly.

"The person who hurt Eren...," began Erwin in a rush as he caught up to the shorter man.

Levi's ears perked up as he turned around with an accusing gaze and gritted out, "So he DID tell you, didn't he?"

Erwin exhaled as he rubbed his face seemingly wanting to reconsider answering, but realized that it was too late. Coming to a final decision, the blond Commander looked up, firmly meeting eye to eye with Levi.

"It was me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 28 Preview:
> 
> SINS OF SINA: Legion Scout's Secretly Gay Commander Exposed!
> 
> LOVE OF THE CENTURY: Humanity's Hope & Greatest Commander Romantically Involved?!
> 
> MARIA'S MARK: Humanity's Hope TWO TIMING the Great Commander & Childhood Friend!!!
> 
> TRAGEDY STRIKES: Death of Humanity's Hope due to a LOVE TRIANGLE?!


End file.
